Kapitel 18: Chapter 18: The Explanation
Mei watched Yuzu give a small smile as she placed herself on the desk in front of her. Mei waited in silence as Yuzu got her position right, still holding Mei's hands in her own.
"Mei, first off, I don't think you have been seeing anyone else or anything like that at all. I trust you more than that when I said I was jealous, it wasn't about seeing you with other people. It was about my... inability to do something that you could with ease." Yuzu had looked at Mei the entire time, who had looked right back and immediately noticed when the blonde broke eye contact.
Mei pulled her hands out of the blonde's grasp, placing them on her lap instead.
"Yuzu if you aren't going to be straight with me then I don't want to hear it. I've had enough games and lies if you have come in here to cover up some more you can leave." Mei had an authoritative voice as she stared at Yuzu. Yuzu shuffled uncomfortably under the strong gaze.
"I came in here because I didn't want us arguing about something that isn't worth arguing over." Yuzu was now looking directly at Mei again.
"Clearly it is. If it is futile to argue about it then how come whatever it is made you act like that? You were furious at me, now because I want to know what I have done wrong it suddenly isn't important? You are contradicting yourself, I didn't want an argument Yuzu but honestly, you've been lying to me for almost two weeks. I've had enough. I respected you wanted space last week when I pried, but you can't just blow up at me, give no explanation then act like everything is normal!" Mei was desperately trying to keep her volume in check, if she lost control then Yuzu would start shouting too and they wouldn't get anywhere.
"I'm trying to Mei. I've not been lying, as I said last week, I've dealt with it alone for years. There is no point in me telling you as you will make a rash decision that will inevitably end in you being sad. I don't want you loosing out on this because of me. Believe me, when I say you have done absolutely nothing wrong I mean it. You are perfect." Yuzu had reached to take Mei's hands back but she was swiftly denied the contact.
"What is it I would lose Yuzu? You aren't making any sense. You are skipping all the important details, I know as much as I did five minutes ago." Mei was growing significantly more annoyed at the blonde as she continued to dodge the question.
"Mei I-" Before Yuzu could even begin Mei had cut her off.
"No Yuzu! I want the truth. What is making you cry endlessly, have violent outbursts and lie to me? We are supposed to be a couple, you are supposed to share your burdens with me. Tackle them together, not bottle it up until you can't help screaming in my face and trashing the bedroom! ... What's going on? What do I need to do to make it easier for you, for you to open up to me?" Mei's voice had dropped notably as she asked her final question.
Yuzu was stuck still as if glue had her fixed in place, she watched Mei's eyes water.
"If I tell you it will have a chain reaction that will make you ups-" She was once again cut off.
"Can't you see that I am already hurting Yuzu? -Mei's voice broke- Watching you distance yourself from me, watching you suffer because of what I might do is heartbreaking for me! I want to help," A single tear had made its way over the edge of Mei's eye.
Watching you say that while crying is heartbreaking... Baby steps Yuzu, baby steps.
"Mei I... can't attend those music lessons with you. I don't want to go to them, I have no desire to play or be near a piano. I'm sorry," That doesn't sound all that bad when I say it out loud.
"Is that it? Nothing else?" Mei was confused, why was that so impossible for her to say? Surely not wanting to go to a lesson wouldn't make her vandalise her own room, that in itself didn't make any sense.
"No... there is more but I..." Yuzu once again looked away, Mei saw her fingers jump into a jumbled pattern of tapping on her leg.
"Mei, can we do this another time? Tomorrow perhaps?" And although Yuzu had stated it as a question she was already clambering down from the dark desk, heading for the door.
"No Yuzu, we are doing this now.-Yuzu kept waking- Do not walk out that door!" Mei's voice was harsh and commanding, anyone else would have had a panic attack and died from the cold tone. Yuzu who was usually immune to her icy tone, stopped dead in her tracks. Not wanting to find out what would happen if she continued.
"If you didn't want to go to the music lessons why didn't you say so? I could have just went alone, I said that the day I asked you if you wanted to go. What are you missing out, it just doesn't add up?" Mei's voice had lost its cold quality that was replaced by a confused one. She got out of her chair and walked closer to the blonde.
Yuzu shuffled on her feet.
"I... wanted to go with you so we could do something together, I didn't want to let you down. You seemed really eager for us to do it together and I didn't have the heart to say no... I got mad earlier because when I tried to play the piano I just couldn't. I tried I really did, for you, but I just couldn't play," Yuzu said as she turned her body to face Mei though her eyes still steered to the floor, her voice breaking slightly.
"But Yuzu isn't that normal? If you couldn't play a certain piece of music, maybe it was too advanced for you. I mean you have never played before, it's only natural that you would struggle." Mei placed a hand on Yuzu's cheek, trying to encourage Yuzu to look at her instead of her feet.
"It's not my first time playing. I can/could play the piano, but I couldn't today. I got mad because I couldn't play anything and you... you were so happy about playing, it was just like rubbing salt in an open wound."
"Y-You can play the piano?!" Mei was shocked still, her eyes went wide and her voice cracked. She hadn't expected that.
"I never said I couldn't," Yuzu was watching her feet intently. She wouldn't say it to Mei, but it stung slightly that Mei was so shocked to hear that the blonde could actually do something that wasn't flipping through a magazine. That was Mei's image of her before she chose to go to med school; A free, laid-back spirit that done as she pleased. Of course, Mei loved Yuzu unconditionally whether she had a thousand talents or none, but the surprise Yuzu could see on her face hurt just a little.
"But if you already know how to play why wouldn't you be able to play?" Mei worked through her bewilderment to asked a serious question.
Guess there's no backing out. - internal sigh-
"It's not that I can't physically play, more like mentally or emotionally. When I play or hear the piano I always feel a sort of emptiness, even when I talk about the piano I am reminded of it... I'm not sure how to describe it, its like I'm listening to this beautiful music, but I can't enjoy it. Emm... like eating your favourite ice cream but not being able to taste it. Wait no that doesn't work cuz I can hear perfectly... I don't know Mei, this is why I didn't want to talk about it. I can't put it into words." Her voice was so quiet at the beginning, Mei had to strain to hear her words property.
"I'm still not completely sure why, but if it makes you feel like this then why didn't you say something to me? I wouldn't have bought a piano, hell I wouldn't have even gone to the lessons. Yu-"
"That is exactly why I haven't said anything! You were so happy to start learning, this was the most excited I've seen you over something in ages. I didn't want to be the one to stop you from doing what made you happy. Even now, I will not accept you quitting. I don't care what you say, you are not and I mean NOT stopping something you are growing to love for me." Yuzu had looked at Mei for the first time since she had stopped her retreat from the room. Her eyes were stern, unwavering when they met Mei's violet orbs.
"But Yuzu if you are hurting having the piano here, I don't want it in the house. I was happy before I learned about the piano, and I will be when it's gone." Mei was positive Yuzu was being too stubborn. Yuzu's happiness was way more important to Mei than having a piano in her life.
She still didn't know why Yuzu felt like this towards the piano or when she even learnt it. She would have to ask that question later.
When did she learn the piano, does she even have the dedication to do that? I wonder how good she is?
Silence filled the room, Mei was patiently waiting for Yuzu to respond. A nod, a verbal agreement, anything, but the trembling girl gave her neither.
More time passed and Mei was starting to think Yuzu planned to stand there all night.
"How was your lesson today, honestly? Answer me honestly please." Yuzu looked up again to meet the taller girl's eyes. Mei stood for several seconds, unsure what to say at the moment.
Isn't talking about it just going to be painful for her?
"I found it to be insightful. The tutor was friendly, I got a quick briefing on reading sheet music but I already read about it before going. I got shown about the lettering of the keys, and I learnt a song... I thought it was fun." As Yuzu had asked Mei answered her honestly, but she thought it would only do more harm than good.
"Hmm, I knew you enjoyed it. Mei the piano is an amazing instrument, when I was younger I felt like I belonged next to one I thought it so beautiful. Things have changed for me, but they are just beginning for you, you have played for less than a day and I can see the joy it brings to your eyes. Yes, it may bring me sadness sometimes, but some things are worth being sad over. You getting this experience is one of them. You can continue your lessons, and perhaps when you play in the house use earphones? You playing, as wired as it sounds makes me proud of you... What song did you learn?" Yuzu was standing strong, she had confidence when she spoke and Mei heard it too. Her hands were now on Mei's hips and lightly pulled her closer.
"Marry had a little lamb, I know its not a hard song but I'm trying and I can almost play it completely with my right hand." Mei gave a slightly embarrassed smile. Yuzu drew her hand to cup Mei's cheek, turning her to face her. Giving a butterfly-like kiss to her lips, Yuzu smiled as she took Mei by the hand and lead her into the lounge.
"Play it for me," Yuzu could hear herself waver slightly as she drew nearer the piano.
"Yuzu, I don-" Yuzu cut in as she sat Mei down on the stool, placing her hands lightly on her shoulders.
"Play it for me, as much as you can remember. This is something you wanted to show me, and I want to hear what you learnt. So go ahead, don't be nervous just play it for me." Her voice was soft and caring, Mei couldn't deny her what she wanted. And although she had mixed feelings about it, she turned the piano on and placed her right hand slightly to the right of middle C.
Yuzu felt herself stiffen as she listened to the first notes being played. But she soon relaxed her body and listened as Mei came to a finish.
E, D, D, E, D, C- The notes sang loudly through the apartment, filling both Yuzu and Mei's ears.
"Well?" Mei looked to Yuzu expectantly, she suspected Yuzu to be crying or sniffling but when she turned her head to look at the blonde, she was doing none of these. Her eyes were closed, Mei could see a small smile on her lips, but most importantly she could feel Yuzu tapping the tune on her shoulders on both hands.
"That was perfect Mei, well almost, you played two Fs instead of Gs, but congratulations. See you can't give something like this up," Yuzu opened her eyes to see Mei looking in wonder for a moment before snapping her head back to the piano.
Mentally going through the song she had memorised she was sure she had played it right.
"No, I didn't. I think I remember from several hours ago." Mei retorted back, confident in her argument.
Yuzu leaned down so her front was pressed flush against Mei's back, she gave her a warm kiss to her pink cheek.
Yuzu still leaning over Mei, placed both her hands over the keys mere centimetres apart.
Mei was stuck between looking at Yuzu's hands or the eyes that were completely closed next to her cheek.
Her fingers started to move, E, D, C, D, E, E, E, D, D, D, BGG E, D, C, D, E, E, E, -, E, D, D, E, D, C-
"See? Its B G G," taking both hands off the piano, Yuzu brought them up to Mei's chest and wrapped her arms around her tightly.
" Y-Yuzu, how did you play both hands without looking?" Mei sat straight on the stool, waiting for Yuzu to release her grip or answer her question one of the two.
"Years of practice, but I'm rusty. I haven't played since I was young. My hand muscles aren't what they used to be, or my ability to read sheet music.." Yuzu gave a nervous chuckle, just from playing the short tune she could already tell that she had gone down several levels from her lack of playing.
"Yuzu you're not... crying," Mei pointed out, Yuzu was still smiling as she held Mei close.
"No, I guess I'm not. Perhaps it was your amazing playing," She placed another kiss on Mei's warm neck.
Mei smirked herself, "Maybe... Yuzu I know we have done a lot of talking tonight, but you still haven't told me why you get so sad." Mei got up from the seat as she placed her hands on Yuzu's shoulders, looking deeply into her bright emerald eyes. She could see the layer of water covering them but chose to keep to herself.
"I think I've said enough for just now... if you don't mind? It's been a long day, can we talk about it tomorrow, I promise I won't brush you off like I've been doing. I'm tired, starving, and I still have to clean up the stuff I threw on the bedroom floor." Yuzu waited for Mei to give her a small nod with a smile, before pulling her in for a much-needed embrace.
Mei smiled as she breathed in the smell of Yuzu's hair. Tonight although had its rough spots, Mei had learnt a redeeming quality about the blonde and figured out a good amount of her feelings.
"I love you," Mei whispered the three words into Yuzu's ear, that turned a pale shade of pink in response.
"I love you too, I'm so grateful to have such an amazing person like you in my life Mei. I'm sorry for keeping this from you for so long. I didn't plan for this outcome. I thought it would just be arguments and pain, but I was wrong." Yuzu pulled from the embrace to capture Mei's lips before she could respond.
Several long, passionate minutes later the two broke apart in dire need of air.
"How about we have another go at dinner?" After regaining her breath Yuzu spoke up, gesturing to the two almost full plates on the table.
Mei smiled, she was only just noticing how hungry she actually was.
"Okay," Giving a final peck to the blonde, the two made their way back to the kitchen, both smiling happily.
*.
Mei was currently sitting in bed resting against the headboard, her arms folded around Yuzu who's head was relaxing on her chest. Two questions had swirled her mind since dinner when their earlier conversation has been left: Why was Yuzu so sad when she played and how well could she play? The latter seemed more dominant in her thoughts. Was she Mozart good, or just could she just play nursery rhymes? Yuzu had kindly asked that the topic be dropped till tomorrow but Mei couldn't shut the thoughts out of her head.
The television was playing quietly, as the two sat drifting in and out of sleep. It was already past twelve, the two -Under Mei's instruction- usually went to bed before it got this late.
She didn't think she would sleep soundly without her questions being answered, but at the same time, she had already pushed Yuzu into speaking much more than she wanted to. Mei thought that speaking had helped somewhat, Yuzu had played without crying like she had claimed happened whenever she played or heard that type of music. So did that mean that she was over her fear or mental block when it came to the piano? Was it safe to bring up the instrument now? Mei didn't know and wasn't one hundred percent sure if she should.
She knew Yuzu was still awake as her fingers were drawing patterns on her stomach, and her breathing wasn't consistent. She trailed the blondes back lightly with her fingers, hoping that the motion was soothing for the blonde.
"Yuzu?" Mei was quiet and soft, she got a delayed 'Yeah?' back from Yuzu telling her to continue.
"I know you wanted to leave it till tomorrow, but I have a question I would like to ask if you wouldn't mind." Before Mei was even finished she heard Yuzu give loud sigh.
"What is it?" Yuzu had stopped her fingers, a clear sign to Mei that she was slightly annoyed at the question.
"If you don't want to talk about it that's fine, I will just wait till tomorrow. Sorry for disturbing you," Shuffling down onto the mattress, Mei prepared to forget the conversation, to avoid any more unwanted conflict, and go to sleep.
"I don't really want to talk about it, but clearly you do. What's your question?" Yuzu was now sitting up crossed legged on their bed, waiting for Mei to make her statement.
"I just wanted to know how well you can play the piano, nothing about when or why you learned just how good you are." Mei still lay on the bed, her eyes watching the ceiling as she waited to see if she would get a response. Which she did.
"I could once upon a time, play very well. Now I'm not so sure, I haven't played in years it is natural that my skill level would deteriorate over time. I think I would probably be able to play anything that wasn't too advanced, after several months of daily practice perhaps I would be as good as I used to be. But that is just me guessing from playing a thirty-second nursery rhyme, I could be totally wrong and only be able to play the most basic of things. Not that it really matters, I don't play anymore. Does that answer your question?" Yuzu said, finishing off in a rather bland tone. Before she got her answer she flopped onto her back on the bed, ready to go to sleep and leave the long day behind her.
Mei did the opposite, shooting up into a sitting position to look over Yuzu, her expression a mixture of annoyance, confusion and concern. "Why wouldn't it matter? I just found out that you can play the piano, with your eyes closed no less, it's only normal for me to want to know how well you can play. And why wouldn't you continue to play, I thought today meant that you had moved past whatever was holding you back," And although Mei's words were genuine, Yuzu couldn't help feeling that she was being slightly nieve.
"Playing the piano for less than a minute doesn't wipe away a life's worth of pain and tears Mei, that is not how feelings work... If that's all you wanted to ask, then I'll be going to sleep now. Goodnight." With her salty remark over, she turned onto her side facing away from Mei.
Instead of getting mad as she normally would at being spoken to like this by the blonde, she took her earlier advice and moved closer to Yuzu almost as if she was spooning her. Placing one arm over Yuzu's stomach she pulled the blonde into her, giving Mei the perfect opportunity to give a lingering kiss to the back of Yuzu's neck. Then another, and another and another, each time slowly moving around the pale neck to reach her cheek, when she was finally able to give the last kiss to Yuzu's flushed cheek, she was up on one elbow leaning herself onto the blonde.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to assume anything Yuzu. I didn't mean to push, please don't be mad." At Mei's actions and words, Yuzu let out a small giggle and turned onto her back so she could see Mei.
"I'm not mad, I just don't know how I feel yet. I need time to figure things out, I have no idea why I didn't get upset earlier I haven't had a chance to wrap my head around it yet. And I know I kind of dropped this like a bombshell on you today and like me, you haven't had time to process everything and probably have lots of questions for me, but I need you to give me a bit of a break. It's been a long day, I hadn't even planned on telling you any of this so I just need a day or so to collect my feelings. Can you do that? And tomorrow you can ask away," Mei's face softened as she listened to her girlfriend's explanation, giving her a peck on the lips Mei gave a small smile.
"Okay," Mei leant down to give her girlfriend a soft kiss, pressing her entire body against Yuzu in a slow grinding motion. That soft kiss escalated into a heated one, while Mei's motions never ceased. "Mhmn Mei... It's late, I'm tired..." Yuzu spoke through ragged breaths as Mei broke the kiss. Mei, however, moved to Yuzu's neck placing feather-like kisses to it, working her way down to her exposed collarbones.
"You don't have to do anything, let me do the work... I'll be quick," And just like she said, Mei moved swiftly, her hands already snaking up the inside of her shirt as her tongue never failed to pleasure Yuzu's upper chest.
"M-Mei!" Yuzu's back arched when small soft hands made contact with her already erect nipples, her voice hitching in her throat.
*.
"Yuzu get out of bed, it's late," Mei demanded as she cruelly pulled the warm covers from the bed, exposing a still tired Yuzu to the fresh air of the apartment.
"Go away Mei, I'm tired and it's your fault. You were definitely not quick last night like you said you'd be. I swear I didn't get to bed till at least half two. So the least you can do is leave me to sleep," Yuzu was abundantly clear as she turned her face into the pillow, trying to get as far away from the light as possible.
Folding her arms across her chest Mei smiled confidentiality. "I didn't hear you complaining once I got started, if I remember correctly your exact words were, ahem 'Ohh God Mei don't you dare stop! Fuck me all night!' And although I don't particularly like that sort of language, I thought it a clear indication to proceed. Wouldn't you?" Walking over to the blinds, Mei dramatically pulled them up at the end of her accusation.
An unsatisfied groan was all she got in response.
"I'm serious though, get up. We're going out today, and I want to be out before it becomes unbearably hot." Mei was already fully dressed, covering her entire body as some marks were still visible. She walked to the blondes wardrobe, and picked out casual clothes and threw them onto Yuzu curled up body.
"Get up, shower, have breakfast and then we're leaving." She was already on her way out of the room when she stopped at the sound of Yuzu's croaky voice.
"Where are we going, I thought you wanted to spend today asking me questions?" Yuzu was now sat up in bed holding her clothes to cover her bare form.
"Yes, but that doesn't mean that we can't go out right? I don't want to just sit in the house, we are going for a morning stroll, well late morning now. We can talk while we walk." Mei was now looking into Yuzu's eyes, the still tired eyes seemed to fall back to sleep when she heard what Mei said.
"A walk? Did you wake me up from an amazing, much-needed sleep to go on a walk? That's mean Mei." Yuzu showed her annoyance as she swung her legs over the side of the bed, quickly changing into her clothes that were scattered on the floor from the previous night.
"Give me twenty minutes," And with that Yuzu sluggishly made her way down the hall to the bathroom.
While Yuzu was in the shower Mei made her way to the kitchen to prepare her something to eat.
Only fifteen minutes later Yuzu appeared, wearing fresh clothes and a very small smile.
"Morning, sorry for waking you up when you clearly wanted more rest, but unlike you, I currently have to cover my entire body so I didn't want to go out later when it going to be too hot." Mei gave a smirk as she placed a plate and a cup of tea down on the table.
"Yeah, yeah I get it, it's my own fault." Slumping down into her seat at the table, then slowly started to eat her food.
"Are you okay? You aren't usually this grumpy in the morning." Mei sat opposite her girlfriend, watching her closely. It was true that Yuzu had the occasional bad morning, but she was usually like a ball of sunshine and energy when she got up.
"I'm fine, just tired is all. Where were you planning on going today?"
"Emm I'm not all that sure, I thought we would just take a walk around the park or something. I don't have anything planned, but I thought maybe you would want out of the house today." Mei glanced slightly to the piano that lined the wall just to the left of Yuzu, concern written on her face.
"Mei, I appreciate that you care, but I already told you that you aren't giving up the piano. So I'm going to have to get used to it being here." Yuzu glanced back, before looking back to Mei.
"Still, we could use to get out of the house. Come on, time is not slowing down let's go before it gets too late." Mei stood from the table and reached her hand out to Yuzu, who took it with a smile.
"Okay, let's go." taking her hand Yuzu jumped up from the seat, a larger grin on her face.
Mei led Yuzu off the street and onto a forest path, hoping that the scenery would make Yuzu feel relaxed.
"Thanks for bringing me here Mei, it's really beautiful." Yuzu leaned in and gave Mei a chaste kiss on the cheek.
"No problem, I like this... So is now a safe time to ask my questions?" Mei was hesitant, the moment was perfect she didn't want to ruin it by asking if it would make the blonde uncomfortable.
"Go ahead," Yuzu held Mei's hand tighter as they walked alongside the trees and bushes.
"O-Okay, can you tell me when you learned the piano, or for how long you played it before you gave it up?" Mei thought she would start off somewhat simple, ease her into talking about it.
"Okay, well I started to use the piano when I was two, but obviously I didn't actually learn anything till I was three to four. I was a pretty fast learner, I think because I was surrounded by it growing up. I practised until I was seven or eight, after that, I played it occasionally till I was about nine. A lot of that in-between time was spent teaching Matsuri how to play. After that, I stopped playing... Next question?" Yuzu tightened her grip slightly on Mei's hand, but she felt comfortable enough holding Mei.
"Why'd you stop after so many years of playing, Isn't that a waste if you spent all that time learning it?" This aspect of the story confused Mei. She didn't understand why Yuzu would dedicate so much time to something then throw it away.
"I stopped because I didn't like my new teacher. He was too strict and wouldn't let me play what I wanted. After him, I think I had one other teacher but it was the same type of thing. And I really missed my first teacher so I saw it as betrail learning under someone knew. So after a long four years of these weekly lessons, I told Mama I don't want to learn anymore. Next question?" Yuzu gave Mei a weak smile as she swung their arms through the air.
"Okay... Who was your first teacher that the others didn't amount to?" Mei was once again careful as she thought about her question. She wanted to leave the big one till last or at least get most of it out in bits and pieces, hoping that it might be easier on the blonde. Not that she seemed to mind Mei's questions at the moment.
"Umm... It was... My dad. Before he passed." Yuzu had gone quieter, as she answered his question. Indicating to Mei that, things were getting to the upsetting part of her story that would make her slightly more uncomfortable.
"Your dad? I thought he died when you were three, how can you remember way back then?" Mei slowed their pace slightly so she could get a better look at Yuzu, who was focusing on the greenery around them.
"Yeah he died when I was three, but I was pretty close to being four. He was a really kind and fun man from what I can remember. When he taught me the piano we would laugh and have fun, experiment and make our own songs as well as learning classical music. That was his favourite musical style. Anyways when he passed, Mama thought it was a good idea to book me a new tutor but it just wasn't the same. It wasn't fun anymore, they just wanted me to learn the concepts and play them before moving onto something new. When I was with my dad we would just have fun, he would let me play whatever I wanted. When I moved on to his replacement, the piano lost that happy aspect, for me at least... Next?" Yuzu gave Mei a weak smile when she noticed she had stopped walking.
"It's okay Mei. You know that I'm at peace with my dad dying. I loved him to pieces and when he passed it was sad but I got over it, just like I told you years ago." She gave a small tug to Mei's arm, encouraging her to keep walking. Which after several moments she did.
"I know, you said you were fine with it because you could talk to him whenever you wanted. But if you are fine with that, then why do you feel 'emptiness' when it comes to the piano? I assumed it would have been related to the fact that you miss your dad, but you just denied that so?..." Mei was once again confused, at this point she was confused more often than not at Yuzu's story.
"I never said I didn't miss him, I do all the time. I said I've made my peace that he's gone. I think its more the fact that when I played with him it was always laughter and jokes, when he was gone I didn't have that anymore. I guess I just felt alone when playing and that eventually just merged with the music itself. So when I heard the music I felt alone, I'm not sure. It could be that or a whole other reason. Next one?" Yuzu kept her head high as she walked, watching the green pass her by as she listened to her environment. Mei had accomplished trying to get Yuzu to feel relaxed, this is so much nicer than the apartment.
"If you felt like that then how come you taught Matsuri after you gave up your lessons? I don't see how trying to teach someone with her... personality would make you feel better." Mei asked question after question, she knew now would probably be her only chance before the conversation was dropped for good.
"It may surprise you, but Matsuri wasn't the loudmouth she is today. She was alone most of the time, and I guess she found comfort being with me. I taught her how to play, as by then she was like my family. When we sat down together and I tried to teach her, she would make mistakes and mess up a lot but it was fun. We would laugh about it and move on, it was casual not the strict environment of my previous lessons. Maybe she knew I wanted to have fun with it again and learned to make me happier, I don't know. But eventually, I stopped playing even with her, and so here we are... Do you have any more questions? I feel like we have covered everything," Yuzu turned to meet Mei's sympathetic gaze.
Mei stopped walking and pulled Yuzu to a halt, "I have one more," Yuzu nodded, prompting her to continue and went to carry on walking but Mei kept still.
"Why didn't you want to tell me. Even before I wanted to learn the piano, why didn't you want my help. I don't see a problem right now, I don't care any less about you or am I judging you for it, so why did you hide it for so long?" Mei looked into Yuzu's glistening emerald pools, she couldn't tell what she was thinking or feeling at this very moment.
"I already told you the answer to that... I dealt with it myself for years and that's how I wanted to keep it." Yuzu looked away-There it is.
"Your lying," Mei proceed to question Yuzu. It was easy for Mei to know when Yuzu was lying, unless she hid it very well. Yuzu couldn't lie while looking Mei in the eye, it seemed almost physically impossible for her.
"It's silly," Yuzu mumbled under her breath, but Mei pulled her closer so their faces were mere centimetres apart.
"What's silly?" Yuzu tried to put some distance between the two but alas Mei would not comply.
"I didn't say anything because this all happened over a decade ago! It's idiotic for me to be getting so upset about this now. I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to look like such a big crybaby or to look so weak in front of you." Yuzu looked away from Mei, feeling guilty for shouting and weak for her feelings.
Mei, however, didn't flinch, she had expected Yuzu to have shouted before now.
"I don't think it makes you weak because you had a bad experience as a child and it still affects you to this day. That would be hypocritical of me to judge you for something like that. I don't think you are weak, I think it makes you strong for going this long without help. But everyone needs help every now and then, you could have come to me in thirty years and I still wouldn't have thought you weak for being upset about this." Smiling softly she took Yuzu's face in her hand, giving her a kiss to the forehead.
When she pulled away, she motioned for the two to continue walking. Yuzu gladly fell into stride with Mei, her hand clasped tightly in Mei's. Yuzu for what felt like the first time in years felt her heart grow warm at the thought of the piano instead of the emptiness.
Maybe telling Mei was a good thing...
"Do you have any idea what you are going to do now? In regards to the piano, I mean," Mei asked while looking across to meet Yuzu's bright eyes watching her constantly.
"I'm still not sure, you have made me feel better today, but I don't know what's going to happen when I play something real. But you can attend your lessons like planned, and you can practice at home without worry." Yuzu nodded in Mei's direction before turning back to the footpath that was starting to lead back onto the pavement.
"Looks like our morning walk is coming to a close. Probably for the best, it's getting hotter. C'mon lets head home." Yuzu smiled brightly to Mei as she skipped several steps tugging her amazing-according to Yuzu- girlfriend behind her.
When they finally got back to the house, Mei stated that she had some family work to catch up on and retired to the study. Yuzu, however, had nothing to do, so like she usually did when bored, sat on the couch and watched one of her many T.V dramas.
But after over two hours of watching television by herself, Yuzu switched it off and just sat on the couch. She hadn't found today all that bad, Mei had been more understanding that she initially thought and even more shocking to Yuzu she didn't feel a lot of pain as she eyed the instrument on the other side of the room.
Much like yesterday she felt drawn to it, but if she played would the same thing happen, would she not be able to play? Would today all have been for nought?
Even still, Yuzu found that she was once again sitting on the stool in front of the piano, her hands unconsciously going to lift the lid.
"Yuzu?!" Mei's shout from her study pulled Yuzu out of her daydream, making her quickly retract her hands from the piano. Getting up from the stool she quickly made her way down the hall to the study, opening the door Yuzu leaned against the frame.
"What's up? I thought you were doing family stuff?" Yuzu looked at Mei from the doorway, she was sitting with her laptop open in front of her. Yuzu thought most likely reading an email from her grandfather. Mei still preferred to do things in the traditional manner of pen and paper- it gave her a chance to show off her near perfect handwriting- but emails were faster, and a lot of the business Mei was required to look over needed to be looked at asap rather than waiting for the post.
"I am, but one of the things Grandfather wanted to ask me concerns you. Please be reasonable when you read this," Mei pointed to her laptop screen and motioned for Yuzu to read the email.
After Yuzu quickly scanned the screen, she looked at Mei confused. "I don't know what this is, what is he getting at?" Yuzu doubled back on the glowing screen but still came up empty-handed. She raised her brow to Mei as she turned the screen back to Mei.
"He's asking what's going to happen with my living situation in five years once I finish my course." Mei sat in her chair and gave Yuzu a sorry look.
"What do you mean, I thought we would still be living together in five years?" Yuzu perched herself on the edge of Mei's desk, as Mei swivelled her chair to sit in front of her.
"My business course lasts six years, after that, I should be going back to help run the school again. So it makes sense that I would move back there. But your biology course is four years, then after that, you've got to pick what medical school you want to go to, and that is another four years. So I don't really know what to tell him, I don't know where you want to go to medical school so I don't know what to tell him." Mei placed her hands on the arms of her chair as she swung slightly.
"Mei that's ages away, yeah after Uni I have to go to medical school but I don't know where I'm going to go until I finish my bachelors here. If you need to move back home once you have finished your course, then I'll move back with you. I'll try and get into a school that's close by, even if I do get into one that is a while away I can just get the train there and back. So tell Gramps that everything is fine," Yuzu smiled down to Mei, who seemed to have a relieved smile on her face.
Yuzu had her ideas of where she wanted to go to medical school, but until she finished her bachelor's degree which she had chosen to take in Biology, she didn't have a plan.
"Are you sure?" Mei questioned, Yuzu jumped down to her feet and gave Mei a soft kiss to her cheek, "I am absolutely positive. Why was he asking that anyways? Its ages till you finish your course?" Yuzu asked,
"He just likes to be prepared, nothing more," Mei gave a roll of her eyes with a smile on her face, making Yuzu giggle before starting to head out.
"Do you wanna try and finish up here? I'm getting pretty lonely through there by myself." Yuzu smiled as she walked to the door, and smiled in triumph when she got 'Yeah, sorry I'll be through soon'.
Yuzu was about to close the door when she caught a small glimpse of the piano on the other end of the house. Turning back into the room Yuzu closed the door and walked in, Mei looked up confused.
"Do you mind if I just stay in here, I'm don't want to be alone." Yuzu shuffled back into the room and sat down on the small couch that sat on the wall to the left of Mei's desk.
"Yeah sure, but can you try and keep quiet? I'll try and finish up quickly so we can get out of here, or if you want I can just bring my laptop through to the lounge so you don't have to be in here?" Mei started to stand from her chair but Yuzu quickly stopped her.
"No don't worry, sit through here where you're comfortable. I've been through there for hours, a change of scene would be nice. So just take your time, I'll just sit here on my phone," Mei smiled over to Yuzu and sat back down in her chair and turned back to her screen, writing her reply to her Grandfather.
So even after we sort things out I'm still trying to avoid it. Yuzu pulled out her phone and like she said, stayed reasonably quiet as she waited for Mei to finish up so she could leave the room.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein