Kapitel 46: A Privilege

Luke laid Chalice down to the soft, fluffy mattress in the room. However, the lady's arms still held on to his neck with no plans of letting go anytime soon. Her mouth was widely grinning at him. It was looking a bit stupid already but Luke found it quite endearing. He was glad that somehow she was smiling. No matter what the reason was. He'd rather have that than see her in a state similar to the one before she fled.

He tucked a stray lock of dark hair in her ear as he stared at his beautiful countenance. Luke smiled lovingly at her before he tried to take her fair arms away from his neck. But before he could do so, Chalice's eyes snapped open and stared at him intently. Her arms tightened even more, drawing him closer to her.

"My lady, you should let me go now. You need to rest. You're drunk."

Chalice pursed her lips and frowned at him instead of letting go. It was only after a long while that she spoke.

"No. Hic. No. No. Not, hic, letting go. You're staying, hic, here with me." She muttered drunkenly, shaking her head like a spoiled kid hell-bent on getting her way. She then forcefully tugged him even closer to her, clinging to his neck as if someone was about to snatch him from her. Luke lost his balance to her sudden action and fell on top of her. They were put in a highly ambiguous position and it made him feel uncomfortable. Luke struggled to get up. He didn't want to look as if he was taking advantage of her.

Nevertheless, the princess seemed to have other plans in mind. She held on to him tightly and even engulfing him fully in an embrace instead. Luke was helpless. It's either he goes with it or forcefully pry himself out of her grasp. Propriety asks him to resort to the latter and separate himself from her. But his inner desire dictates him to relish the moment. To go along with what she was doing and not care for what happens the next day. Being in her embrace was a far-fetched dream which has come true at this moment. Would it be a sin to to give himself this chance?

"Luke will you, hic, ever leave me?"

Luke stiffened at the sorrowful question she suddenly blurted out. He supported himself with his elbows so he could meet her eyes. They were cold, empty, and scared. His heart ached so much at the sight.

"No. I will never leave you." He said with firm conviction. But his answer didn't light up nor even sparked a little bit of warmth in her.

"Even if I'm a murderer? Even if I had taken countless lives including innocent ones? Even if I'm in reality, a demon who's satisfaction lies in killing? Even if in the end, I'd end killing you?" Chalice's voice surprisingly did not falter nor slur. But what made Luke alarmed was how lifeless it was. There was a glaring fear of rejection that glinted her eyes and shot arrows at him. He thoroughly hated her current state. But even more so because he was clueless to what caused it. He hated how it made him feel helpless. His Chalice is better suited to being the usual teasing, lazy, gluttonous her. It was a crime that her brilliant and amazing self to be reduced to this empty shell.

"Yes. Even if you are a demon. I'll stay. I'll always be here. I'll never leave you alone. And if in the end I die by your hands, my lady, I'll die the happiest man in this world. It is a privilege to be killed by you." Luke replied not bothering to hide the warmth and love in his tone. At this moment he didn't want to hide to it. He wanted to make her feel that she has him with her. The lady was drunk and she was bound to forget every single thing of this night, anyway. He might as well let himself go.

Chalice finally showed a ghost of a smile but even that slowly faded into a sad one. Which has further deepened the frown in his face. It seems that Hikari was right. Chalice was drowning in darkness. What had happened to her? What led her to this? Luke was stifled at these questions.

"Why? Why would you stay, Luke? Why would you go so far for me? I don't have redeeming qualities nor am I a good and virtuous woman."

Luke caressed her face and petted her head softly. A gentle smile illuminated his face. He looked at the precious woman in his arms that was currently struggling with her insecurities. The woman who didn't realize how much of a treasure she truly was, not because of her wealth or status. But because of her own, individual brilliance.

"I stay because you are my light. My savior. Your happiness, your smile is the wind that propels the sails of my being. I'd do anything, be anything just so I could paint a smile to that beautiful face of yours. I stay, Chalice, because I can never leave my life. The oath I swore that day, I intend to keep it as long as I live. And even if you no longer want me by your side, I'll still protect you in my own ways." Luke spoke solemnly. Each word carried all the repressed emotions he held.

When he left Chalice and went to the Amaranth fief, he vowed to kill the inappropriate feelings he held for the lady. In his mind, it was merely a form of temporary infatuation caused by gratitude. And as years passed of not being with her or seeing her, he confirmed this to be true.

Until she came along again.

And this time the changes in her made the feeling he discarded come back in an even more forceful and undeniable form. If he previously felt a love due to gratitude, a love borne for one's savior; this time, what he felt exceeded that.

What he felt now transcended the borders of what is proper. It overbearingly defies the rigid and unforgiving norm. What he felt now was one that gave him both fear and joy. Because it urged him to acknowledge that which he had discarded. It tempted him to commit each and every possible way of possessing her.

Even so... even at this extent she was also the anchor which made him sane and good.

She was what makes him a better man.