Kapitel 35: Personal feelings
[Next Day]
The next day dawned with a gentle golden light filtering through the lattice windows, casting delicate patterns on the wooden floor.
Suyin had just finished combing her long hair, which gleamed in the morning light. She deftly tied it up into a neat topknot with a simple, yet elegant, white ribbon.
Though she longed for a refreshing bath, she remained in her old attire, its fabric slightly crumpled from the night's rest.
The previous night had been a whirlwind; before she had a chance to unwind, Junli had sent Jiayi to summon her to his quarters.
Junli lay in bed, his long, silken hair cascading over the pillow, contrasting starkly with his pale, almost ethereal, skin.
He turned his head slowly to regard Suyin, his eyes soft but calculating. Reclining comfortably with his hands resting on his abdomen, he exuded an air of serene authority.
"I have already informed Jiayi to treat you as a guest," Junli began, his voice smooth and deliberate. "However, for the sake of appearances, others will believe you to be my medical attendant. Shao Feng will act as your 'assistant' to dispel any potential suspicions... You seem very adept at tending to wounds." His eyes held hers for a moment, searching, before she averted her gaze, nodding in agreement.
"True. Perhaps it would be wise for me to remain here until you are fully recovered," Suyin replied, her voice steady despite the whirlwind of thoughts in her mind.
In truth, this situation presented a perfect opportunity to search for the rose-shaped key needed by Qin Fuhua. "Thank you, Sir Junli, for allowing me to stay in your manor."
A faint smile played on Junli's lips, but it was brief. His expression grew contemplative.
"Would your husband not worry about your extended stay in another man's home?"
Suyin's heart skipped a beat at the mention of her supposed husband. She had nearly forgotten about being 'married' to Tienzheng, a necessary deception to secure the key. Their marriage was merely a facade, a strategic play to ensure Qin Fuhua's safety.
"Heh heh... Actually... I think it's best if I remain hidden for now. I wouldn't want him to be concerned about my whereabouts. I will inform him of my safety in due time."
Though her words were partly truthful—she did intend to let Qin Fuhua know she was safe—she couldn't help but wonder if he would even care.
As she turned to leave, Junli called Jiayi to his side. "See to it that he receives new clothing," he instructed.
"It wouldn't do for my uncle Jianhong to find him."
Jiayi nodded and soon returned with garments
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[The next day]
Someone knocked on the door, causing Suyin to leap from her seat. Her heart pounded in her chest—she had to remember her disguise as a man. She quickly adjusted the cloth wrapped tightly around her breasts, ensuring her chest appeared flat from a side profile.
"Come in," Suyin called out, her voice steady.
She had fixed her hair into a neat topknot and now stood in her new outfit: a lime green hat paired with a silky, one-layered robe of the same color. Though plain at first glance, the robe was adorned with delicately sewn flower vines and the initial "Shu" in Chinese characters.
The door opened to reveal Shao Feng, smiling warmly. He was dressed in a darker lime green outfit, simpler in design but still elegant despite being a servant's attire.
It was a significant improvement compared to the drab uniforms assigned by Jianhong.
"Shao Feng! You look amazing!" Suyin exclaimed, genuinely impressed.
Shao Feng's cheeks flushed with a touch of shyness at her compliment. "Thank you," he replied softly.
"Did you inform Junli that we are going out?" Suyin asked, her tone now business-like.
Shao Feng nodded. "Yes, Sir Junli has requested us to pick up his medicine from the medical shop on our way back," he added.
Suyin gave a curt nod, feeling a mix of relief and determination. The tasks ahead were clear, but she couldn't let her guard down. "Very well. Let's not waste any time."
As they stepped out of the room, Suyin couldn't help but appreciate the attention to detail in her new attire. The robe's fine fabric felt luxurious against her skin, and the intricate embroidery was a subtle reminder of the elaborate world she was navigating.
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The pair set out into the bustling city of Liaoping, heading towards the eastern side of the city, a less prosperous area that few cared to visit.
This part of Liaoping was a stark contrast to the lively, vibrant streets Suyin had first encountered. Here, the atmosphere was heavy with a sense of desolation.
Cramped homes, no larger than a typical bathroom, lined the narrow, shadowy alleys. The streets, though still populated, were quieter and more somber. Small shops sold soup and second-hand items for meager sums, their owners casting weary glances at passersby.
Shao Feng led Suyin to a modest wooden home.
"Ma! I'm back," he called out as they approached.
"Is that my little Shao?" An older, frail voice responded from within. Shao Feng hurried inside, motioning for Suyin to follow.
Inside, they found his mother seated in a worn chair, tending to a boiling pot of water over a small fire pit. Despite her aged appearance, with eyes wrinkled from years of hardship, she radiated a quiet strength.
"Ma, I brought a friend with me to help cure you," Shao Feng said, gently holding his mother's hand.
"Ah, child!" she exclaimed, swatting Shao Feng's hands away. "Why did you bring a medical man here? How can you afford to bring one to me?" Her voice was sharp with concern.
"Ma, don't worry. This is my friend," Shao Feng reassured her, glancing at Suyin.
Suyin stepped forward with a warm smile. "Don't worry. Shao Feng is a very good friend of mine. I came here of my own will to see how you are doing."
Shao Feng's mother sighed, her eyes softening slightly. "I'm thankful for you to be friends with someone like my child."
The interior of the home was sparse but cozy, with just two chairs and a palpable sense of warmth.
She swatted Shao Feng's hands again. She could tell that Suyin was not a man, from the way Suyin articulated, she could only smile, turning to her son. "Go get her a chair, won't you?"
Suyin laughed softly. "It's okay. I'm here to see how you are doing. Do you mind if I check your pulse?"
Shao Feng's mother nodded, allowing Suyin to take her wrist. Suyin's fingers pressed gently against the veins, her expression growing serious. The pulse was alarmingly fast, indicating an underlying issue.
"May I?" Suyin asked, showing the back of her hand.
Without hesitation, Shao Feng's mother nodded, and Suyin placed her hand on the older woman's forehead. It was noticeably warmer than normal. "How are you feeling?" Suyin began her inquiry, her tone gentle yet professional.
Shao Feng's mother smiled warmly at Suyin.
"Shao Feng, where are your manners? Go out and buy us some bread to treat this kind young friend of yours."
"But Ma... what about my friend?" Shao Feng hesitated.
"Don't worry about him! Just go," she insisted, ushering him out the door. Shao Feng glanced back at Suyin, mouthing, "I'll be right back," before running off to find food.
As soon as he was gone, his mother sighed and slowly made her way to her bed, wrapping herself in a thin blanket.
"It seems I can't escape from a doctor like you," she said with a wry smile.
Suyin could see that she was hiding her illness to prevent Shao Feng from worrying.
"Has my son caused any trouble for you? Did he beg you to come help me?" she asked.
Suyin shook her head. "No, I came here on my own. For someone as kind as Shao Feng, I don't understand why no one would help him."
Shao Feng's mother gestured for Suyin to come closer.
"I'm dying," she confessed quietly.
Suyin's heart sank, but the old woman only smiled. "My son doesn't know that. He thinks I'm just temporarily ill, but if he knew the truth, I don't think he could handle it." Her eyes closed as she spoke, her voice soft and her face etched with years of hardship.
"My husband went to war and never came back when I had Shao Feng. As he grew, I sacrificed everything for him. Despite our poverty, his smile was always enough for me."
"Don't say that. I haven't even diagnosed your illness yet," Suyin said softly, placing her hands gently over the older woman's. She opened her eyes and returned Suyin's smile, a bittersweet warmth in her gaze.
Suyin took a deep breath and felt the woman's pulse again. Her mind raced through potential diagnoses. "I promise I'll do everything I can to help you," she said, her voice filled with determination.
The old woman nodded slowly. "Thank you, dear. It's been a long time since anyone cared this much."
Small, gentle, and fragile hands were laid on top of Suyin's, the weight of the gesture laden with years of quiet suffering and unspoken love. "My body is not young anymore," Shao Feng's mother began, her voice a soft murmur.
"Sometimes when I want to do something, it won't listen. I just can't move the same as I could when I was younger." Her eyes drifted up to the ceiling, lost in memories.
"I couldn't move my body... but when I heard my child call my name, it felt like I woke up from a dream." She smiled bitterly.
"In my dreams, my husband called me, but as I got closer to him, I woke up to hear my son's voice instead." She turned her gaze to Suyin, her eyes filled with a mix of sorrow and resignation.
"The money my dear child had saved up for me... I went to the doctor. They told me something was wrong with my heart. They said the blood isn't flowing well." Her voice wavered, the unspoken diagnosis hanging heavily in the air.
Suyin frowned, her mind racing. "I think you should let your son know. It's best for both of you. What you are doing is selfish and will leave him alone in this world after you're gone." Her words were firm, the concern she felt for both Shao Feng and his mother evident.
"My son is still young," the older woman protested weakly.
"Who cares if he is still young? If he knows that his parents chose to leave him all alone without letting him know, do you think that he will ever grow?" Suyin's voice rose, filled with a mix of frustration, pain, and anger.
The emotions boiled within her, surfacing from deep within her heart.
"My parents passed on without ever letting me know. What did I get from that?" Suyin's voice trembled, her anger and hurt spilling over.
She spoke as if addressing her own parents, who had passed away when she was young.
"Why don't you understand his passion? He just wants you to get better. If not, why not let him spend all his time with you instead of keeping everything a secret? Doesn't that hurt both of you in the end?"
Shao Feng's mother stared at Suyin, the raw emotion in her voice piercing through her resolve. Tears welled up in her eyes.
"I... I never thought of it that way," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "I wanted to protect him, to spare him the pain."
Suyin's gaze softened, her own tears threatening to spill. "But by doing so, you're only causing him more pain. Let him be there for you. Let him show his love and care. It's what he wants more than anything."
The room fell silent, the weight of Suyin's words settling over them. Shao Feng's mother closed her eyes, a single tear escaping down her cheek. "You're right," she whispered. "I need to tell him. He deserves to know."
Shao Feng's mother remained silent, her face a mask of contemplation.
Suyin clenched her fists, struggling to contain her emotions. The situation shouldn't have felt so personal, but it struck a deep chord within her heart.
"I'm back," Shao Feng announced, rushing in with a small white bag filled with bao.
"Shao Feng, stay today and take care of your mother," Suyin ordered, her voice firm but kind. "I'll inform Junli. You can come back tomorrow. Sort things out here first."
"But Suyin, I—" Shao Feng began to protest.
Before he could finish, Suyin dashed out of the little home. As she stepped outside, she heard Shao Feng's mother's voice, soft but resolute.
"Shao Feng, my dear child... I have something to tell you...."
The words echoed in Suyin's ears as she walked away, her steps heavy with the weight of the moment. The bustling streets of the poor side of Liaoping seemed even more somber, the stark contrast between this area and the prosperous parts of the city more evident than ever. She couldn't shake the image of Shao Feng's mother, lying frail yet determined, from her mind.
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Suyin's thoughts drifted to her own parents, the unresolved pain of their sudden departure still raw. She remembered the loneliness, the unanswered questions, the longing for one more moment with them.
It was this unresolved grief that fueled her frustration and passion to ensure Shao Feng and his mother did not suffer the same fate.
Suyin could feel the heat emitting within her, a fiery mix of unresolved grief and anger.
As an only child, her parents were never there to support her. They always had excuses, claiming they were busy or at work. Throughout her years in medical school, she learned to cope on her own. It was during her last semester, just before graduation, that she received the devastating phone call: her mother had passed away from cervical cancer, a condition Suyin hadn't even known about, and her father, overwhelmed with grief, had taken his own life by overdosing.
"Selfish."
It was the only word that echoed in her mind throughout that agonizing time. Her parents had hidden the truth from her, denying her the chance to say goodbye.
At the funeral, she had been surrounded by gossiping relatives who believed her to be a negligent daughter, clueless about her parents' struggles. They thought she was a burden, despite her dedication to medical school, despite her efforts to make something of herself.
As these thoughts churned in her mind, Suyin blurted out, "Selfish!"
Her voice rang out in front of a brothel shop, causing the nearby crowd to stop and stare. Her eyes were swollen with unshed tears, but her anger kept them at bay. "S-Sorry," she stammered, laughing awkwardly to cover her outburst. The crowd, perceiving her as a madwoman, quickly returned to their own business.
Suyin took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "Okay. I have no time to think about the past. It's time for me to get the medicine for Junli," she reminded herself. Steadying her emotions, she wiped her eyes and began to focus on the task at hand.
With renewed determination, Suyin headed towards the medical shop. The bustling streets of Liaoping seemed to blur as she navigated through the crowds, her mind a whirlwind of past traumas and present responsibilities. Each step felt heavy, but she pushed forward, determined to obtain medicine for Junli.
The medical shop was a small, unassuming building tucked away in a quieter part of the city. As she entered, the familiar scent of herbs and medicines greeted her, bringing a sense of calm. The shopkeeper, an elderly man with kind eyes, looked up from his work and greeted her warmly.
"Good day, young lady. How can I assist you?" he asked.
"I'm here to pick up medicine for Sir Junli," Suyin replied, handing over the note she had been given. Suyin had requested some other components that would help with the medication, asking if he possibly had the items, too.
The shopkeeper nodded, reading the note carefully. "Ah, yes. We have it ready for him. Please wait a moment." He disappeared into the back room, leaving Suyin alone with her thoughts.
As she waited, Suyin took a moment to reflect. Her outburst in the street had been uncharacteristic, a stark reminder of the unresolved emotions she carried. But now was not the time to dwell on her past. She needed to focus on the present, on helping Junli and, by extension, Shao Feng and his mother.
The shopkeeper returned with a small package. "Here you go. This should help Sir Junli with his recovery," he said, handing it to Suyin.
"Thank you," she replied, accepting the package with a grateful nod. She turned to leave but paused at the door.
"Do you have any recommendations for heart ailments? Something that could help improve blood flow?" she asked, thinking of Shao Feng's mother.
The shopkeeper stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Yes, we have a few remedies that might help. Wait here for a moment." He disappeared again, returning with a small vial of liquid and a pouch of dried herbs.
"These should help. The liquid is to be taken daily, and the herbs can be brewed into a tea."
Suyin thanked him again and paid for the additional remedies. With the medicines in hand, she left the shop and made her way back to Junli's manor.
Her steps felt lighter, the weight of her emotions momentarily lifted by the knowledge that she was making a difference.
As she walked, she couldn't help but think of Shao Feng and his mother. Their situation mirrored her own in so many ways, but perhaps, by helping them, she could find some measure of peace for herself as well.
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In the dimly lit brothel, the air was thick with the mingling scents of alcohol and perfume, creating an intoxicating atmosphere that made the men, the wolves of this den, revel in their indulgences.
Jianhong, deep in his cups, was surrounded by giggling women, their light robes barely clinging to their forms as they vied for his attention.
Qin Fuhua, disguised as Tienzheng, played his part perfectly, pouring rice wine for Jianhong to keep him thoroughly drunk.
"Would you like me to massage you, my lord?" one of the ladies purred, leaning in closer to Qin Fuhua.
He maintained a cool demeanor, his sharp eyes scanning her face until something outside the brothel caught his attention.
A familiar figure stomped past the entrance, their movements urgent and agitated.
Could it possibly be? Han Suyin? His heart skipped a beat as he watched the figure, his mind racing.
Excusing himself, he distanced himself from the group.
"Hey, hey! Where are you going?" Jianhong slurred, trying to pull him back.
"I'm going to get some air. You enjoy your time with the ladies," Qin Fuhua replied smoothly, slipping out of the brothel.
He followed the person in the lime-green robe, his eyes narrowing as he tried to confirm his suspicion. As the figure paused in the middle of the street, he caught a glimpse of her face, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears.
"Selfish!" she shouted, her voice breaking through the ambient noise, drawing the attention of the crowd, and Qin Fuhua as well.
He watched her laugh it off, a hollow sound that barely masked her pain, before she hurried into a nearby medical shop.
"Finally, I found you," Qin Fuhua murmured to himself, his gaze softening as he observed her from a distance.
As Suyin exited the shop, carrying a small package, she seemed more focused, her steps purposeful as she made her way back to Junli's manor.
She was oblivious to the shadow trailing her, the presence of Qin Fuhua a silent guardian as she navigated the bustling streets.
Suyin's heart raced as she felt the sudden tension of being watched and followed, her instincts kicking in as she made a sharp turn. She quickened her pace, the sense of unease growing with each step.
Meanwhile, Qin Fuhua raced after her, his mind racing with frustration at her unexpected reaction.
"That idiot!" he cursed inwardly. Her actions were only drawing attention to them in the crowded shopping district.
With a surge of determination, he leaped onto the roof tiles, using his agility to swiftly close the distance between them.
In one fluid motion, he swooped down and scooped her off her feet, lifting her effortlessly into the air.
"Get off of me!" Suyin struggled against his grasp, her feet kicking as she tried to break free. But Qin Fuhua held her firmly as he carried her up to the top of a nearby building, away from the bustling streets below.
As Suyin continued to struggle, her movements growing more frantic, Qin Fuhua couldn't help but feel a pang of concern.
"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice surprisingly soft and filled with genuine worry. It was a stark contrast to his usual cold demeanor.
Suyin paused, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she heard his voice.
It was strange, hearing such sincerity from the cold-hearted Prince she remembered. She stopped struggling, her mind racing as she processed his unexpected concern.
And then, she heard it.
"Suyin."
His voice, saying her name, was filled with genuine worry and care. It was a moment that froze in time, the noise of the city fading into the background as they stood on the rooftop, their eyes locked in a silent exchange.
Qin Fuhua released his grip on her shoulders, allowing her to see him clearly.
"Tienzheng?" Suyin whispered softly, her gaze meeting his intense stare. She recognized those eyes, the ones that held a depth of emotion she had never seen before.
For a moment, they stood there, suspended in time, as Suyin grappled with the realization of who was before her. Despite the mask hiding his true identity as Tienzheng, she could see past it, recognizing the man behind the facade.
His face was relaxed, his eyes soft as they locked onto hers. Suyin felt her heart flutter at the sight of him, his presence both comforting and unsettling at the same time. And as he leaned in closer, she could smell the faint scent of oranges, a fragrance that lingered around him like a gentle caress.
Qin Fuhua's demeanor softened further as he observed Suyin's flustered state. His concern for her was genuine, evident in the gentle touch of his hand on her shoulder and the warmth in his eyes. "I said, what's wrong?" he repeated, his voice softer this time, tinged with a hint of sternness.
It was a tone he often reserved for his sister, a blend of care and authority.
Suyin blinked, momentarily lost in the depths of his gaze.
"Huh... what?" she stammered, shaking her head to clear her thoughts. She had been so captivated by his presence that she had forgotten his question.
Qin Fuhua released her shoulders, towering over her slightly as he looked down.
"I um... I'm okay," Suyin replied hesitantly, unable to meet his gaze.
But she knew it was a feeble attempt at reassurance, a lie she couldn't bring herself to believe.
"Liar," Qin Fuhua stated bluntly, his keen perception cutting through her facade.
Suyin faltered, her words stumbling over each other as she tried to explain herself. Before she could form a coherent sentence, she felt a gentle caress on her head, her breath catching in her throat at the unexpected gesture.
Qin Fuhua's touch was tender, his fingers trailing lightly over her hair, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still between them.
As Qin Fuhua's hand stilled, Suyin raised her head to meet his gaze, her eyes searching his for any sign of understanding.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
Qin Fuhua's expression softened further, his concern mirrored in his eyes as he sought reassurance from her. "Where are you staying?" he inquired, his tone gentle yet insistent.
Suyin hesitated, her mind racing as she considered her response.
She couldn't tell him about Junli's manor; it would only complicate things and potentially jeopardize her safety there. "I'm staying at my friend's place," she replied quickly, her words rushed yet firm. "He's my savior, the one who helped me escape from that pigheaded man."
"Pighead...?" Qin Fuhua echoed, his brow furrowing slightly as he processed Suyin's words. "Then that's good. Are you being a little hero again, troublesome one?" he teased, his gaze flickering up and down her outfit.
Suyin couldn't help but chuckle nervously at his question, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment.
"Y-Yeah! How did you know it was me?" she asked, surprised by his recognition.
Qin Fuhua's expression softened as he recalled the Master's prophecy about a woman with a scent of Magnolia blossoms crossing his path. Suyin was the only person he had encountered with such a distinctive scent, making her easily identifiable among the crowd.
"Someone made a scene, and I decided to see who it was and found you," he explained simply, his eyes meeting hers.
"It was really... um... nothing to worry about," Suyin insisted, gesturing towards the ground below. "Can you send me back down? I have to go back to send the medicine back to my friend."
Qin Fuhua nodded, his expression serious as he prepared to lower her back to the ground. Without hesitation, he scooped her up princess-style and leaped down from the rooftop in a single fluid motion.
Suyin couldn't help but let out a small internal scream as they descended, the sudden rush of adrenaline making her head spin.
As Qin Fuhua set her down, Suyin staggered slightly, her head swimming from the dizzying descent. He quickly caught her wrist, steadying her with a concerned expression. "Are you sure you'll be okay?" he asked, his concern evident in his voice.
Suyin took a moment to collect herself, the blood rushing back to her head as she nodded reassuringly. "Yes, don't worry. I'll be back as soon as I retrieve the key," she promised, offering him a grateful smile before hurrying off down the pathway, disappearing around a sharp turn.
"Retrieve the key?" Qin Fuhua murmured to himself, his brow furrowing in confusion.
He was the only one, besides Jianhong, who knew about the servant's possession of the key. So how did Suyin know where to find it? The question lingered in his mind as he watched her disappear from sight, his thoughts racing with uncertainty and intrigue.
AUTORENGEDANKEN 
Aeriesu
Aeriesu Hello, my dear readers!
Just this week and next week and I'll finally be on winter vacation! That means that I will have more time to write and plan for this novel! Thank you for all of the love, comments, reviews, and support as always! :) I'm always thankful for all of the encouragement and comments! <3 I'm anticipating more Qin Fuhua and Suyin moments so I hope you are too! hehe ^^ <3
I'll see you all again in the next chapter!
-A.S.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
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