Kapitel 4: Taboo
Suyin's hands rose in a gesture of surrender, her palms facing outward in a silent plea for understanding. Anxiety prickled at her skin as she scanned the courtyard, half-expecting the guards to materialize out of thin air.
Jianyu's laughter, however, eased the tension, his arms unfolding as he waved a dismissive hand, signaling for the guards to stand down.
Suyin released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, relief flooding through her veins.
"You seem to have a knack for finding trouble," Jianyu remarked with a wry smile, his gaze lingering on Suyin with a mixture of amusement and exasperation.
Beside him, Yanyu shook her head in resigned acceptance, a silent testament to the inevitability of Suyin's misadventures.
"So, what the Princess said... is it true?" Suyin leaned in closer to Jianyu, her curiosity piqued.
His nod was accompanied by a subtle gesture, his hand covering his mouth to ensure their conversation remained private.
"Just refrain from such actions in the future, unless you want to provoke someone truly dangerous," Jianyu cautioned, his tone serious despite the hint of amusement dancing in his eyes.
Suyin's eyes widened at the gravity of his words, a sudden realization dawning upon her.
As Suyin fell into a pensive silence, Jianyu observed her with quiet curiosity, his thoughts swirling with intrigue at her uncharacteristic behavior.
As Suyin's fingers trailed over her chin in deep contemplation, Jianyu's brow furrowed in curiosity.
The sight of her thoughtful gesture sparked a bemused thought in his mind.
"What is she pondering so deeply?" Jianyu mused silently, his gaze fixed intently on Suyin. "Does she have a beard or something for her to be rubbing her chin like that?"
Before he could dwell further on Suyin's peculiar behavior, their exchange was interrupted by the graceful entrance of Areum. With a bow befitting her station, she addressed Suyin with the deference due to a lady of the court.
"My lady," Areum's voice was gentle, her demeanor respectful as she knelt before Suyin.
Suyin turned her attention to Areum, her response prompt and attentive. "Yes?" she inquired, her tone betraying a hint of curiosity.
As Areum relayed her father's summons, Suyin's expression shifted to one of dutiful acknowledgment.
Aware of the implications of her delay, she acquiesced without hesitation, mindful of not wanting Areum to face repercussions due to her own actions.
With a respectful bow to Jianyu and Yanyu, Suyin bid them farewell, her apology tinged with a sense of urgency as she made her exit with Areum trailing behind. Observing Suyin's departure, Jianyu's attention was drawn to his sister, who gazed after Suyin with a concerned expression. Sensing her worry, he turned to her, awaiting her thoughts. "Do you think Suyin is unwell?" Yanyu's question hung in the air, her gaze fixed on Suyin's retreating figure. Jianyu's eyes followed Suyin's path, a small smile playing on his lips as he shook his head in response. "No," he answered with conviction. "I believe she's finally found comfort in being herself. I'd much rather see her happy and confident than constrained by expectations." As Suyin waved goodbye and disappeared from view, Jianyu observed Suyin's departure with a mixture of fondness and understanding. Despite the stark contrast in her demeanor from what he remembered, he couldn't help but feel a sense of pride in witnessing her newfound peace and satisfaction.
In his memories, Suyin's smile had always been reserved for moments of triumph and discovery, a testament to her relentless pursuit of knowledge and understanding.
Now, it seemed she had discovered a different kind of fulfillment—one that stemmed from within, independent of her family's name or reputation.
Meanwhile, Yanyu contemplated Jianyu's words, a tinge of envy creeping into her thoughts. The ease with which Suyin navigated her newfound sense of self left Yanyu questioning her own comfort in her skin.
Was this what it meant to be truly comfortable? To find solace in one's own identity, unencumbered by the expectations of others?
As she held the plum blossom delicately in her hand, Yanyu found herself reflecting on Suyin's earlier words.
The simple yet profound sentiment resonated deeply within her, stirring something dormant within her soul.
With a soft smile, she acknowledged the wisdom in Suyin's words, her gaze drifting to the budding plum blossoms nearby.
"Maybe you're right, brother," Yanyu murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.
And as she watched the petals unfurl before her eyes, she couldn't help but feel a sense of hope blossom within her own heart—a promise of newfound purpose and meaning waiting to be discovered.
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The door slid open, admitting Suyin into the study with cautious steps, her head bowed in silent contemplation. The room greeted her with its familiar scent of aged parchment and polished wood, shelves laden with tomes that seemed to stretch into infinity.
Suyin's gaze swept over the expanse of the study, a space often frequented by her father and the royal family, now quiet in the absence of their presence. "Suyin?" Her father's voice broke the silence, drawing her attention to where he stood behind the imposing table, his posture that of a scholar lost in thought.
Uncertainty flickered in Suyin's eyes as she approached him, her mind racing with questions about the purpose of this summons. Was she to be tasked with some duty, or perhaps entrusted with a teaching role? "My child, you've grown since last I truly noticed," her father began, his voice tinged with a hint of nostalgia.
Suyin raised an eyebrow, puzzled by the unexpected sentimentality in his words. Her father remained turned away, his gaze fixed upon the paper window as if contemplating some distant horizon.
"As your father, I've long harbored hopes that you would one day succeed me. Yet, it saddens me to acknowledge that you are a young lady," he continued, his tone tinged with regret as he finally turned to face Suyin. "My daughter, I believe the time has come for me to seek a suitable match for you," he declared, the word "someone" hanging in the air with ominous weight. In that instant, understanding dawned upon Suyin, her heart sinking with the realization of her father's intentions.
"Are you trying to marry me off into some noble or prosperous family?!" Suyin's voice rang out in the study, her words sharp with incredulity and defiance.
Deep down, she knew that such a proposition was far from ideal, stirring a sense of unease within her. Her father flinched at her accusation, taken aback by her audacity to question him. Anger flickered in his eyes, though his tone remained restrained, tinged with disappointment and frustration.
"Suyin, how dare you speak to your father in such a manner!" he admonished, his words laced with reproach.
This was uncharted territory for Suyin, who had never dared to defy him before. "Ever since you stole the horse this morning, you've been nothing but rebellious!" Her father's voice rose with each word, his patience wearing thin. "Do you wish to incur a punishment greater than this?" he threatened, his tone laden with warning.
Suyin bit her lip, struggling to contain her rising emotions.
This was not the daughter her father knew, but she couldn't stand idly by while he dictated her future without her consent. With a heavy heart, Suyin turned on her heel and stormed out of the study, the door slamming shut behind her with a resounding thud.
Anger and frustration churned within her, mingling with a profound sense of injustice. Without a backward glance, she strode down the corridors, her steps purposeful and determined.
Beside her, Areum walked in silent solidarity, a comforting presence in the tumultuous storm that raged within Suyin's heart. Together, they made their way home, leaving behind the echoes of unanswered questions and unresolved tensions.
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As the sun began to cast its golden rays across the tranquil landscape, Suyin found herself seated beneath the comforting embrace of a redbud tree, its branches offering solace amidst the turmoil raging within her. The events of the previous day echoed in her mind, a relentless tide of uncertainty and apprehension washing over her.
"Finding someone," Suyin murmured, her voice barely above a whisper, the weight of her father's words heavy upon her heart.
As Suyin sat beneath the redbud tree, the dawn casting its gentle light upon her, she couldn't shake the nagging question that lingered in her mind: Did her parents truly love and care for her? In the quiet stillness of the morning, memories of her upbringing flooded her thoughts. She recalled her father's unwavering demands, his strict instructions leaving little room for her own desires or aspirations. His authoritative demeanor had shaped her childhood, molding her into a compliant figure who obediently followed his every command. And then there was her mother, a distant presence in Suyin's life. Instead of offering comfort and guidance, she often disappeared under the guise of prayer, only to return with frivolous purchases that held no value or meaning. Suyin had never dared to question her mother's actions, her silence a testament to the unspoken rules that governed their household. Despite her longing to pursue her passion for medicine, Suyin's aspirations had always been met with resistance. Her parents' vehement objections had stifled her dreams, their disapproval casting a shadow over her every attempt to explore her interests.
In the face of such opposition, Suyin couldn't help but wonder if her parents truly understood her or cared for her happiness. Their actions spoke volumes, their rigid expectations leaving little room for her own autonomy or fulfillment. And as she sat beneath the redbud tree, grappling with these thoughts, a sense of disillusionment settled over her, casting doubt upon the foundation of love and care she had once believed in.
"I will do what I feel is right and brings me joy," Suyin declared, her hand resting over her heart as she closed her eyes. In that moment of quiet resolve, she found solace in the knowledge that she alone held the power to chart her own destiny, unshackled by the constraints of her past.
"Help! I need someone to help me, please!"
The distant cry for help spurred Suyin into immediate action. With a sense of urgency driving her every step, she swiftly assessed her surroundings.
The sound couldn't have originated from within her own courtyard or home; otherwise, Areum would have surely alerted her. Determined to locate the source of the distress, Suyin slipped on her shoes and hitched up her skirt, her movements fueled by a fierce determination to aid whoever was in need.
Using the nearby tree as a makeshift ladder, Suyin climbed with practiced agility, her heart pounding with anticipation.
From her elevated vantage point on the roof, she scanned the area, her eyes searching for any signs of distress. The urgency of the situation spurred her onward, her resolve unyielding as she sought to locate the source of the cries for help.
With a swift leap from the roof, Suyin landed gracefully on the ground below, her resolve unshaken as she raced toward the sound of the desperate cries.
As she approached a nearby dirt path, a scene of chaos unfolded before her eyes. A wooden cart lay overturned, its cargo of yellow flowers scattered across the ground.
Nearby, a young girl sat amidst the wreckage, tears streaming down her cheeks as she rubbed her eyes in distress. Without hesitation, Suyin rushed to her side, her heart pounding with concern.
"Are you okay?" Suyin's voice was gentle yet urgent as she inspected the girl for any signs of injury. Relief washed over her as she confirmed the girl's condition, noting only minor scratches from the rough terrain. But the girl's words sent a chill down Suyin's spine, her fear evident as she pointed toward the toppled cart.
"Help me! My father is hurt!"
As the girl pointed toward the toppled cart, Suyin's heart sank at the sight of the unconscious man buried beneath the layers of flowers. Without a moment's hesitation, she rushed to the scene, her hands moving swiftly to clear away the debris and assess the man's condition.
Carefully rolling him over, Suyin's eyes scanned his body for any visible injuries.
It was then that she noticed a faint smell of iron in the air, and upon closer inspection, she discovered a smear of blood on her hand. Her gaze immediately fell upon the man's torn arm, the wound seeping blood and staining the ground beneath him.
With a sense of urgency, Suyin searched frantically for something to staunch the bleeding. Her fingers brushed against the petals of the fallen flowers, and in a moment of inspiration, she realized their potential.
These were no ordinary flowers; they were Hamamelis Mollis, commonly known as witch hazel, a plant renowned for its medicinal properties.
Drawing upon her knowledge of traditional Chinese herbs, Suyin quickly devised a makeshift bandage using the roots of the witch hazel plant. Wrapping them tightly around the man's injured arm, she worked swiftly to stem the flow of blood, her movements guided by a sense of purpose and determination.
Beside her, the young girl watched with wide eyes, her concern evident in every furrow of her brow. "Is my dad going to be okay?" she asked, her voice trembling with fear.
Suyin met her gaze with a reassuring smile, her confidence unwavering in the face of adversity. "Yes," she replied softly, her words infused with a quiet strength. "Your father is going to be okay."
...
After the incident with the elderly man and his daughter, Suyin's heart swelled with a mixture of emotions.
She was relieved to have been able to help them and grateful for the bystanders who assisted in carrying the injured man to his home. It was a small comfort to discover that they lived nearby, yet Suyin couldn't shake the feeling of unease as she bid them farewell. The little girl's heartfelt gratitude lingered in her mind, leaving her torn between a desire to reassure her and the reality of her uncertain future. As Suyin made her way back home, the weight of her clandestine activities bore heavily upon her.
Sneaking back into her courtyard proved to be a challenge, the struggle to jump over the wall a stark reminder of the barriers she faced in her own life.
Yet, despite the obstacles, Suyin remained determined to forge her own path, no matter the cost. In the days that followed, Suyin found herself growing increasingly restless within the confines of her home.
Her parents' watchful eyes seemed to follow her every move, their demands for her obedience only serving to fuel her desire for independence. While they busied themselves with maintaining their social status, Suyin yearned for something more meaningful, something that resonated with her true desires. Faced with the monotony of her existence, Suyin turned to the one source of solace she could find: her medical books.
Secretly ordered through Areum, these volumes became her lifeline, offering a glimpse into a world of knowledge and possibility. Despite Areum's reservations, Suyin persisted, determined to familiarize herself with the intricacies of Chinese herbs and plants, knowing that they might one day hold the key to her freedom.
.....
"Suyin!" Areum's urgent voice echoed through the corridors, breaking the silence that enveloped Suyin as she delved into her studies of Chinese medicine. Startled, Suyin glanced up from her book to see Areum rushing towards her, her breaths coming in short, hurried gasps. "What is it?" Suyin inquired calmly, though a sense of apprehension began to gnaw at her insides. "Somebody came," Areum managed between breaths. "They told your father that you saved them." Suyin's heart skipped a beat at the unexpected news. "Saved them?" she repeated, a sense of disbelief creeping into her voice as she rose from her seat. Without wasting another moment, Suyin followed Areum to the main hall, where she found the elderly man she had helped, standing before her father. "Father," Suyin greeted respectfully, bowing before turning her attention to the man she had rescued. "She's the one who saved you, is that correct?" her father inquired, his voice tinged with curiosity. The elderly man smiled gratefully, nodding in affirmation. "Yes, indeed. I owe her my life. My daughter can attest to her bravery as well." As her father and the elderly man engaged in conversation, discussing her heroic deed, Suyin's mind raced with apprehension. Was she going to get in trouble for saving him?
Suyin's mind raced, her heart sinking as her worst fears materialized before her.
A word was mentioned from her father's mouth that caused her to seep back to reality.
"Huh?" she uttered, a mixture of disbelief and dismay evident in her voice.
"What did you say, father?" "I said, this was the man I wanted you to marry," her father repeated, his smile warm but unwavering as he looked at her. Suyin felt her stomach churn with a sickening dread. This couldn't be happening. She had hoped her father's intentions wouldn't lead to this, but now, faced with the reality of it, her apprehension surged to new heights. The elderly man, oblivious to Suyin's inner turmoil, spoke up with a jovial tone.
"Ah, yes. I do finally get to meet her. Your father told me many things about you. I would like to sincerely thank you that you saved me, Miss. It must have been fate that we met." Suyin's discomfort only grew as she registered the man's delight.
She clenched her fists, her expression darkening with anger and frustration. This was not what she had anticipated when she intervened to help.
Marrying an old stranger was the last thing she wanted, and the realization that her father had orchestrated this left her feeling betrayed. Glaring at her father, who remained unperturbed by her silent protest, Suyin fought to contain the whirlwind of emotions raging within her. This was a battle she couldn't afford to lose, for her future and her freedom hung in the balance.
"So then, we will talk about a good time for the marriage next time, perhaps?" Suyin's father commented, his tone casual but firm.
The elderly man agreed, expressing his gratitude once more before taking his leave. As the door closed behind him, the atmosphere in the room shifted palpably.
Suyin's father turned to her with a stern expression, his features etched with frustration and anger. Without a moment's hesitation, he raised his hand and delivered a sharp slap across Suyin's face. "What the hell did you do?!" His voice reverberated through the room, echoing with a mix of fury and disappointment.
The servants, cowed by his outburst, kept their heads bowed, unwilling to intervene. Suyin, reeling from the blow, clenched her jaw tightly, resisting the urge to retaliate. She remained silent as her father unleashed a tirade of accusations, his words laced with venom. "Didn't I tell you to never touch anything that relates to medicine? Why are you acting high and mighty by helping others?!" he bellowed, his voice growing louder with each accusation. "I always emphasized back then in the past for you to avoid anything with medicine and focus on education! Do you even hear me?! Are you deaf?" Despite the onslaught of insults, Suyin refused to cower. With a steely glare, she met her father's gaze, her expression a defiant mix of anger and resolve. She may have been his daughter, but she wouldn't allow herself to be belittled and controlled any longer.
Suyin's resolve hardened as she faced her parents' callousness head-on.
She couldn't fathom the idea of being sold off like property, especially to someone she had no connection with and didn't love. The weight of her parents' expectations and demands felt suffocating, and she refused to succumb to their wishes any longer. As her father's anger flared and her mother's indifference became apparent, Suyin felt a surge of defiance rising within her. She couldn't let them dictate her future any longer. She had to take a stand for herself, no matter the consequences. "I'm not going to marry that old man," Suyin declared firmly, her voice resolute despite the fear gnawing at her insides. She squeezed her hands into fists, steeling herself for the confrontation ahead. "Wha...what did you say?! You need to know that because of your mother's spending on useless things, we barely have any money now-" The father's voice rose in a crescendo of anger, his face contorting with frustration, his veins pulsating against his temples. His hands clenched into tight fists, emphasizing the severity of his words as he struggled to contain his rising fury. "Honey, what's all the ruckus.." Suyin's mother's voice floated into the room, her tone light and unconcerned, as if she were oblivious to the storm brewing within the walls of their home.
She entered the scene with an air of nonchalance, her demeanor unaffected by the tense atmosphere. Her steps were light, her posture relaxed, and her expression serene, belying the chaos that had erupted between her husband and daughter.
"Mom." Suyin's voice quivered with desperation as she turned to her mother, her last hope for understanding and salvation in this tumultuous household.
Her eyes pleaded for help, silently begging her mother to see beyond the facade of necessity her father had constructed. But her mother's response shattered any semblance of hope that lingered within Suyin's heart. "I thought that the marriage was finalized already. Suyin! You should know that we need someone to pay it off. This is the only way now." Her mother's words cut through the air like a sharp blade, devoid of sympathy or compassion. It was a cold reminder of the harsh reality they faced, where Suyin's fate seemed to be predetermined by financial burdens and familial obligations. "M-Mother. You are going to sell me to someone?!" Suyin's voice wavered with disbelief and betrayal, her words trembling with raw emotion. But before she could grasp the full weight of her mother's decision, a sudden movement intercepted the impending blow. Areum, the servant, darted forward with unwavering resolve, placing herself between Suyin and her mother's wrath. The sharp sting of her mother's hand connecting with Areum's cheek echoed through the room, a stark reminder of the power dynamics at play within their household. "STOP IT NOW!" Her father's voice thundered through the chaos, cutting through the tension with a chilling finality.
His words carried an authority that brooked no defiance, commanding obedience through sheer force of will. With a steely gaze, he silenced the tumultuous scene before him, his words a damning decree that sealed Suyin's fate. "It is a family taboo to work or touch any medicine. You should have known better not to do anything that involves medicine." His voice was laced with disappointment and disapproval, each word a condemnation of Suyin's actions. And then, in a cruel twist of fate, came the ultimate punishment. "We are going to finalize the marriage and begin as soon as possible. Suyin, you are on house arrest." His words hung heavy in the air, a sentence of imprisonment that shackled Suyin's freedom and crushed her hopes. And with a final decree, he extended his punishment to encompass all who dared to oppose him. "No one allows Suyin to go out or interact with anyone at all until the marriage. She is under my punishment. This includes Areum also."
The coldness in his tone sent a shiver down Suyin's spine, a grim reminder of the unforgiving reality she now faced. And as he retreated into the darkness of the corridors, dragging her mother along in his wake, Suyin was left alone in the suffocating silence of her newfound captivity, a prisoner in her own home.
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The night draped itself over the courtyard like a heavy shroud, casting shadows that danced in the moonlight. Suyin stood amidst the silence, her heart heavy with the weight of betrayal and disbelief. Each breath she took seemed to carry the bitter sting of reality, as if the very air around her had turned cold and unforgiving. "Suyin. Let's go." Areum's voice cut through the stillness like a gentle breeze, a comforting presence amidst the turmoil that engulfed Suyin's thoughts.
She felt the tug of Areum's hand on her sleeve, a lifeline in the darkness, urging her to retreat to the safety of her own sanctuary. "Did my parents.... sell me out to an old man??" Suyin's voice trembled with a mixture of anguish and indignation, her words a desperate plea for reassurance in the face of betrayal.
The realization gnawed at her soul, leaving behind a bitter taste of abandonment and deceit. She had never known true freedom or happiness, shackled by the chains of her family's expectations and demands. With a heavy heart, Suyin allowed Areum to guide her away from the suffocating emptiness of the courtyard, back to the solace of her own quarters. Throughout the night, even the wind seemed to hold its breath, unwilling to disturb the fragile peace that enveloped them.
AUTORENGEDANKEN 
Aeriesu
Aeriesu Hello to the new and usual readers! Thank you for reading and I apologize for the wait! I'm currently working on the book cover and I'm almost done with it. I just need a little bit of tweaking, and it should be good to go! <3
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
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