Kapitel 7: Stairway to Heaven
Mga 15 minutes ata kami doon sa hagdan, trying to find out ano ba talagang gusto naming gawin. It doesn't help na pareho kaming bano sa foreplay tapos ang kapal naming magmeet without learning the tricks. Basta naalala ko lang, naghahalikan kami all that time, kahit na ang sakit sa likod na nakasandal ka sa hagdan while he's trying to make love with you. Wait, mali ata term ko kasi at that time, hindi ko naman masasabing love iyon. It's just an encounter, para bang yung nangyari sa Mamasapano.
Hindi pa nauso yung Bagito scandal, nauna na kami diyan. In private nga lang. I just hope walang nakatagong CCTV dito or something.
Siguro nagsawa na rin siya sa aming wild adventure at hinatak na rin niya ako two floors up, sa isa sa mga kwarto. Sa itsura nito para bang walang gumagamit, para bang hotel room sa Sogo na hinanda lang talaga specific for the employees and their lovers. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam na humiga sa kama matapos yung nakakangawit kong posisyon kanina, pero itong mokong na ito wala ata sa bokabularyo ang pahinga. Hinubad lang niya yung t-shirt niya tapos bumalik na siya sa akin to please me.
One of the things I like about Justine is that hindi siya sobrang payatot at buto-buto gaya ko. Maraming mga gaya namin sa mga dating sites (o kahit mga hindi techie diyan) na pangarap na matikman yung lalaking may abs, malaking mga muscles at kung anu-ano, para bang yung TomDen ganyan. Ipokrito naman ako kung itatanggi kong di ako kasali doon, pero when I saw his body, I never felt disappointment. Yung konting laman niya (hindi naman siya mataba, nor payat) made me felt at ease, na para bang I'm with someone na di madidisappoint sa mga buto-buto ko. And it extends lalo na yung niyayakap ko siya, when he was on top of me trying to get permission through his kisses.
Everything will be all right, you can share to me who you are, and your scars. Ang gago ko lang na cruiser ako tapos nagagawa ko pang i-romanticize ang lahat. But in this game virginity is all in the mind, I think. Mawala man yung "physical" virginity pero may "mental" kind na ibibigay mo talaga to a person na feeling mo worth it iyon. Di ko sure if Justine was worth it at that time, but with how he looks he seems to be.
Na-realize ko tuloy kanina that how he acted doesn't represent who he is. Saang porn site kaya niya iyon napulot? I mean, I'd prefer having sex with someone who genuinely represent who they are on how they do foreplay. Hindi naman niya kailangan akong i-impress eh, though yung ginawa niya sa hagdan is something I never expected.
He was trying to raise my shirt, asking me na itaas ko na iyon. At mukha ngang wala siyang pakialam even if I look malnourished. Without the shirt mas naramdaman ko na yung init, yung passion...na napilitan na akong tumayo para buksan yung aircon.
"Wait, ako na..." Nagkaroon naman ng saysay yung tangkad niya.
"Sensya ka na, panira pa ako ng moment." Napangiti lang siya.
At doon ko lang na-realize na all that time, parehas pa kaming may salamin. He was about to get mine nung pinilit kong unahin yung sa kanya. He never looked this innocent, at ang cute lang. Inisip ko tuloy if he felt the same with me nung tinanggal niya yung salamin ko.
And we just kept on what we're doing. Mula sa shirt, pababa sa shorts at jeans, hanggang yung underwear na lang. Siyempre painit ng painit ng eksena as it goes. I remember I was on top of him at napapapikit na lang siya when he's trying to find where the junk is - hirap talaga kapag parehas kayong malabong mata, no? Hanggang sa magulat na lang ako na his hands are trying to play with it. Tangina, ang sarap - malaki, medyo magaspang yung kamay niya but it never failed to please, trying to cover all my whole.
With how he plays with it para bang he was instructing me to do the same to him as well, at napilitan na ako. Yung katahimikan namin all this time, nawala when he gave a silent moan. Yung itsura niya, para bang di malaman how to react, and it felt funny. Parang ang inosente lang niyang tignan.
Saka ko lang narealize that he was.
Parang napagod na ako sa foreplay namin that I was about to remove his undies, and he let me do it for him. When I saw it, wait...takte, parang gusto kong bawiin sinabi ko, medyo nadisappoint ata ako. Slight lang. Paano ba naman sa tangkad niya, sa laki ng kamay niya, I was expecting something much longer. Pero di naman siya exagg na maliit, siguro average lang.
Alam mo naman, we usually dream of having something big and red, I dunno. Kahit naman naliliitan ako with what I had. Being on the receiving side of things (as I expected myself), akala ko mas malaki makukuha ko. Pero sa bagay, di naman ito shooting ng porn, and real life is way different than what we see on the internet. And it shouldn't be that hardcore.
Iniisip ko lahat ng iyon when he was about to remove mine. Nakaupo ako sa harap niya, playing with his stick when he saw what he was so excited about. "Tangina, ang bata mo pa ang laki na", bulong niya. Napasigaw tuloy ako, "Narinig ko iyon!" And we both laughed.
"So anong gagawin natin?" Seryoso kong tanong.
"Hala..." Parang napressure ata siya. "First time ko 'to! Di ko alam...sheeeeet!"
Takte naman 'to, nagiimagine pa naman ako that he was going to fuck me hard or something. Don't tell me siya pa bottom sa aming dalawa? Pero yung expression niya, ang cute talaga. Yung dimples niya lumalabas while he's figuring out what to do. Ako pa ata magtuturo sa kanya.
Little do I know he was about to taste who I am. Sa sobrang init niya kulang na lang magdasal ako sa mga santo dahil sa sarap. Iba nga siguro talaga kapag first time yung gagawa sa iyo nun.
And I loved it kasi in my past experiences, para ba akong basahan na punasan kapag nakaraos na sila. I don't felt respected, though free will ko naman to do it with them. With Justine, parang ang comfy lang that I'm with this innocent guy that I had all the wrong expectations. I can be who I am, as he is with me, kasi parehas kaming geek. We can explore each other without pressure, without expectations.
Kinuha ko yung salamin niya na nasa side table at sinuot ko sa kanya. "Bakit mo sinusuot sa akin?" Tanong niya. "Baka kasi kung ano masubo mo..." At napahalakhak siya ng todo. "Hindi, wala lang...alam mo bang fantasy ko to do it with someone wearing glasses."
"Megane fetish..." Sabay kuha niya ng salamin ko at suot niya ulit sa akin before going back with what he's doing.
There was no pressure, we never cared about time. He took time looking for my sweet spots, taking my neck and my chest. And I did the same for him, using my hands to feel who he is. Di na kami nagtanungan what we want to do, as if it matters. Kung sa maraming cruisers whoever's going to be top or bottom should matter and that penetration must happen sa amin, wala. Di namin na ginawa. After all, masakit, at masarap na rin kahit medyo childish lang ginagawa namin and even if I was expecting him to take me all out.
And then there was fireworks. We helped each other out light things up, and that time rinig na rinig mo siya how he moans for pleasure. Or maybe napagod na rin siya with all we've done. At napapasabay na rin ako, yung paghinga namin para bang exchanging words, or siguro feelings. Nung siguro alam niyang I was about to explode, bigla na lang siya lumapit to taste me - again. Mauubusan na ata ako ng mura sa lahat ng kalokohan ng mokong na 'to.
"Bakit mo ginawa yun?!" Sabay hampas sa kanya, and he laughed. "Hindi masarap!" Sagot niya na para bang puno ng kanin, at napahalakhak lang ako. Sabi nila kasi para ka daw uminom ng tubig sa aluminum ng baso, and I can't help but be curious. May utang na loob pa tuloy ako sa kanya.
Well, I returned the favor. Not bad, I guess. Especially if you see him too happy.
And we ended up too tired on the bed, na parang gusto ko na atang matulog. Naiirita tuloy ako sa kanya when he was trying to wake me up. "Huy, di ka ba hahanapin sa inyo?" Pag-aalala niya. Shet, alas-nuwebe na pala, hahanapin ako nito sa bahay. Diretso agad sa shower to clean ourselves up.
Mga alas-diyes na ata ng nakalabas kami ng townhouse, with the guard not asking anything. Nagkunwari na lang akong pumunta ako ng lamay para lang may palusot ako. Pero bago pa kami umalis dumaan muna kami sa convenience store; uso kasi Magnum nun kaya curious siya how it tasted.
"Hindi masarap, parang Selecta lang din!" Pintas ko habang nakaupo kami sa harap ng jeep pabalik ng Cubao.
"At least pangtanggal ng umay dahil sa ano mo!" And we had the best laugh in our lives, I think. Yun na siguro pinakakanakakatawang encounter ko with a guy, and di ko mapigilan maging horny when I remember it.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein