Kapitel 17: 第17章: The Closing Chapter

Today was her final day, despite how she knew that this will be her choice. But even now, she didn't think she was ready for it. Who will have thought that it will be so soon, that she will leave just a couple of months after she turned an adult. She did think that she will have waited for a few more years, reaching twenty before choosing this path. But just as well, she should leave the moment it came to this. She knew that deep within herself.

And today, there was nothing for her.

She entered the room, where her mother set down the brush. Just as she looked at her own accounts, even more so now. There was talk that she will have taken over for her mother; it all seemed like a dream now. Impossible to fulfill and likely unlikely as well. She had worn a simple blue dress, with her hair tied into the same braid as she was.

She knew what she was here to do. To say goodbye to her own mother. As she looked at the older woman, who wanted her in the office. For a mother, this was something that she should not know. But when a daughter married, it was expected that she will leave. But this was something that will have made them incredibly mad at her. She didn't show any signs of it.

"Take care of yourself when you leave, don't trust anyone too lightly and keep your money in different pouches." Before she passed her additional ingots, for the trip. Including one note of paper, she looked to her in absolute surprise. These were the most precious, and it could get her anywhere for that matter. She nodded and knew that the paper was what she needed to keep. There was no hugs, but she knew that this was her only way of assuring herself.

Although she was worried, since her mother had not even asked who she was leaving with.

"Feiyu will take care of you, I can see that in her. She sees you as a sister, and seems to understand the situation you're in." There was not a word, except for a nod. A thanks to her mother.

"I'll visit someday." Anywhere between this year was impossible, but when rumors died down she could afford to do so. A letter was almost impossible for her— all it will contain is simply how much she spent and what she did. That was what she could manage.

"Feiyu said that she will teach you to write, so please send a letter when you reach a town." The address will have been easy to tell, at least when it was a town that was slightly further from here.

"I will." Even for a pair like them, they were still mother and daughter. And if this was what she simply said, when she was about to leave and throw her reputation into tatters. Then she knew it was support, and she knew that it was an agreement.

She stepped outside, getting herself a deep breath. That was something she had done. A farewell given; though many will have disagreed. Despite knowing that they were rather different, not a mother who constantly nagged and showed her warmth. She gave instruction, taught her all she knew but rarely more. There was not kind words or gestures, but she knew that she was at home. That this place will always welcome her. This was more than enough to her.

"There you are." Zhao'en showed much happiness among seeing her. Although she wasn't particularly thrilled about the marriage, but she doubted that her brother kept the secret from her. They did share one thing: a marriage that they could do nothing about. "I'm not going to follow you."

"Don't, I can because I come from a rather poor family with a shrew for a mother." Though she was lying about the latter, but that was what many called her. The snide remark because she could not marry, and unlike some women who could because they were still one of the most beautiful women in the town. But she did not, her features were mostly plain and the only thing of note was her work ethic and wit. Something that Chaoyun learned quite a lot, mostly on the former.

"Sometimes I wish I had that shrew. At least she gives you more support than my "kind" mother ever will." If anything, the girl accepted that she will leave. "I want to stay here, at least for as long as I can. I wish to enjoy this freedom, the ability to choose."

"Well, maybe later. You'll be waiting for some time, and if you pick the other way you can try and find me. Or try and convince your brother."

"No, I'll simply get my groom to be more pliable and write him letters which will endear me as a more sisterly figure." She couldn't say anything, Zhao'en could choose her own options and choices. The same way she did, there was a cost. There was one for everything, nothing will keep everyone happy. But she knew that she wanted to do this from the beginning; that she will not choose to simply submit.

"Good luck, and if we meet again I'll treat you to something." Happy to have that in agreement as she was about to leave. Although Zhao'en didn't move forward as well. Curious, she turned to look.

"Who says I'm done?" Zhao'en ran forward to her. In all ways, she didn't expect it to say the least.

"Someone is here to see you."

She didn't even need to guess, as she found herself looking at Yuntong. He was dressed in the same way as he was before, in a plain tunic but this time without the cap. Although she didn't think that he will have made the effort to see her, even when he was in agreement that getting married was a really bad idea.

"I thought you said we won't meet." Still remembering his word.

"I just wanted to say goodbye. We're still friends." He gave a wink in regards to that, almost as though he was going to meet her despite what they said. As they did not intend to go through with the marriage. "I know you're leaving tonight."

She doubted anyone will not have known, although only Xiao Yan, Zhao'en, Qingshuang and her mother knew. No one else had known that she was planning to leave, and it was for the best as well. To leave without them thinking or tongues wagging.

She gave a chuckle, finding that something that she had not expected to see. "Always friends, I still like you after all."

Even if they had nothing but a short meeting, and mostly random moments they spent together. Moments where they had a chance to really know that they enjoyed the other's company, but to be a companion for life was something that they did not know. But to gamble with it like this without any strong feelings, she knew she was wrong to simply believe that it will work out. She didn't know him well, and thus it was a bad idea.

"Just not in that way. I completely agree." Before he lead her to the closest table to the window, where no one will have guessed much of them. Few were up here, hence they were afforded more privacy. They couldn't go into her room, it will compromise her own reputation. Zhao'en went to take a pot of tea and some desserts.

"So, who is going with you."

"Thank you." Zhao'en poured a cup of tea for her brother. Chaoyun refused to let Zhao'en pour for her, instead choosing to do it herself.

"Feiyu. The woman who played the pipa during that night."

"The musician. She seems like a great choice." If anything, she was a lot more luckier than many others. Then again, she did it at her own cost. But they were two people who found themselves in a similar position at the very least, hence why they had to do this to escape their intended fate.

Before both of them looked at each other; both at a loss despite knowing what must come next. A goodbye, though there was not a need to remember her by. They were barely friends, but she felt that any last request will have been a good choice.

"Goodbye. This time I mean it."

"So do I."

And those were the last words she needed to talk to, while simply taking a rest for the night journey beyond her.

As she looked at the night, where most were ready to go home. She went out the shop, where they were already packing up. Dressed in her simplest dress, up to her knees and with a pair of boots. She had bought a cloak and covered herself, and slipped into the streets.

Feiyu told her that she will wait for her at the temple's gates, which was not far away. At least not far enough that she will have had problems reaching, just before the gates have closed. Most were going to their homes, carrying a small sack under her cloak she hurried slowly to the gate.

When she reached, all she saw was Feiyu holding a lantern and waiting for her. She had not done the same; no one will have found it strange for her to leave. Although they will raise eyebrows at whether she was human or ghost, dressing in all red and waiting for someone to come to the gates. Or why a woman was doing out here at so late in the night.

She did not say a word, while they simply left the gate. The moment she went past, she knew that she was no longer Chaoyun. Or at least able to use the name without any sort of judgement being passed on her. It was the same as a closing chapter on her life. The moment it was done, she could no longer go back.

She turned to face the gates of the town she grew up in once more. Before she left, Feiyu gave her that moment. She knew that it was so important to her at the end of the day.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes." She admitted it, that she had been waiting for this. Mostly with uncertainty, but since she had passed the gates as Feiyu showed her two horses. Chaoyun could not even ride one, never being taught and never having the chance.

"I'm not asking you to ride. Just as long as we have managed to get a reasonable distance past the town, we take a break." She comforted the horse, and handed her one. It was so unsure on her hands, the fact that this was just so new to her. "But I'll teach you."

"Besides, there are a lot of new things that you need to get used to?"

Like having to pick a name to call herself by, which was a necessity to all women who entered into brothels for work. Some used their real, but it was not strange to change their names if they felt it will be for the better.

"What's your favourite color?" She looked at Feiyu, who saw the question as odd. But still, it possibly could not mean her harm.

"Blue."

"Then, it shall be Dianyu." Although she did not know whether it was associated with blue, but she did not question it. It was easier this way; she will have been unable to decide upon a name.

"Did you do the same for your name?"

Feiyu gave nothing to her, although she guessed that it was something along the lines. Before she looked to the night, once more feeling like the child who wandered these streets fearless. Who wandered it without worry, and simply doing what she must for her mother. The only reason why it stopped was because of the endless rumors that got around, and as she got older it became distinctly unsuitable. But now, who was to say otherwise?

She simply smiled at this, that she was going to choose her own path. And she will never let another pick it for her.