Right then, Lu Jinnian felt like he was in a dream. He stood frozen on the spot, casual and elegant, with his eyes locked on the tie clip. After a long while, he finally looked up at Qiao Anhao, and said in a hoarse voice, "Thank you."
Qiao Anhao smiled gently. Under the bright lights of the study room, her expression seemed to become cuter and softer. "I didn't know what kind of presents you liked, so I chose something I liked for you, not knowing if you might like or dislike it yourself."
"I like it," Lu Jinnian said without any hesitation. He stared at the tie clip in the box for a long time before carefully putting the lid back on. Then he said, "I really like it."
Qiao Anhao continued to smile, revealing a hint of relief in her eyes.
Lu Jinnian's fingers gently stroked the box. As he stared at Qiao Anhao's smiling face, it was as if the coldness between his eyes subsided immensely. For someone who didn't like to reveal any traces of worry to people around him, the next words were very surprising. They just suddenly floated out of his mouth. "It's been many years since I last received a birthday present."
Because of those simple words, the smile on Qiao Anhao's face gradually disappeared. Her mind went back to the day she had watched through the study room's doorway and seen Lu Jinnian's expression when he said, "What's more, I've never really celebrated my birthday". It was the same look. Though his tone was nonchalant, it also revealed hints of sadness.
From what she remembered, Lu Jinnian would always attend Xu Jiangmu's birthdays, but he had never celebrated his own. Qiao Anhao couldn't help but ask the question in her heart, "Do you never celebrate your birthday?"
"Mmm." Lu Jinnian didn't open his mouth but made a sound deep in his throat. After a while, he slowly opened his mouth to say, "After my mother passed away, I never celebrated my birthday again."
Lu Jinnian's words didn't really sound nonchalant. For some reason, when Qiao Anhao heard them, a sharp, intense pain crept into her heart.
She knew that Lu Jinnian and Xu Jiangmu were step-brothers, and she knew that Lu Jinnian's mother passed away early. But besides this, she didn't know much more.
Even if Xu Jiangmu, who was the same age as Lu Jinnian, didn't know his birthday, their father surely would of known... Even if he was an illegitimate son, he was Uncle Xu's own flesh and blood. Even if it couldn't have been as extravagant as Xu Jiangmu's birthday parties, at the very least, he must of received a present or birthday wishes?
Qiao Anhao slowly moved her lips and asked, "What about Uncle Xu? Did he never celebrate your birthday?"
Lu Jinnian's face instantly froze over, and a ruthlessness slowly rose in his eyes.
Qiao Anhao was astonished. Realizing that she had said something wrong, she felt uneasy in her heart and bit her bottom lip. In a low voice, she was just about to say "sorry", but she only made it to "So-" when Lu Jinnian turned his head with a frozen expression.
He stared into the night sky beyond the window, and said in a oddly calm tone as though he was recounting someone else's story, "Instead of wanting to celebrate my birthday, he would have rather that I'd never had a birthday."
To Lu Jinnian's father, his birth was a stain on his life.
If it were possible, his father must of not wanted for him to live on this earth.
The ache in Qiao Anhao's heart grew stronger.
Nasasaktan si Qiao Anhao para kay Lu Jinnian. Parang may bumara sa kanyang lalamunan na pinipigilan siyang magsalita.
Habang nakadungaw si Lu Jinnian, unti-unti siyang ngumiti, na para bang tinatawanan niya lang ang kanyang sitwasyon. Muli siyang nagsalita ng kalmado, "Pero ayos lang yun, nasanay na ako."
Nasanay na…
Sinabi lang yun ni Lu Jinnian para hindi na malungkot si Qiao Anhao. Wala siyang kaalam-alam na ang taong pinakamamahal niya, ang taong laging mayabang at ilag ay may napakalungkot pakang kwento na walang sinuman ang nakakaalam.
Ramdam ni Qiao Anhao na nagluluha na ang kanyang mga mata. Tumingin siya kay Lu Jinnian na nakadungaw sa bintana. Nagipon siya ng lakas ng loob at sinabi, "Kung noon walang may gustong magcelebrate kasama mo, pero ngayon nandito na 'ko…"
Hindi makagalaw si Lu Jinnian, hindi niya alam kung anong gagawin niya.
Kahit na mukha siyang kalmado, ang kanyang puso't isipan ay hindi magkaintindihan kung ano ba talaga ang dapat niyang gawin.
Pinilit ngumiti ni Qiao Anhao para mapigilan ang kanyang mga luha. "Kung ayos lang sayo, gusto ko sanang icelebrate ang birthday mo kasama ka simula ngayon."
Kung ayos lang sayo, gusto ko sanang icelebrate ang birthday mo kasama ka simula ngayon.
Kahit na alam ni Lu Jinnian na ang babaeng mahal niya ay hindi siya mahal at wala naman talagagang ibang ibig sabihin ang mga sinabi nito, hindi niya pa rin naiwasang maantig sa mga sinabi nito. Sobrang saya niya kahit hindi naman talaga dapat nakakaantig ang mga ito.
Pakiramdam ni Lu Jinnian ay parang may humarang sa kanyang lalamunan, at bago pa man makapag'react si Qiao Anhao, bigla niya itong hinila at niyakap.
Masyadong mabilis ang mga naging kilos ni Lu Jinnian kaya wala ng nagawa si Qiao Anhao. Noong nahimasmasan na siya, narealize niya nalang na nasa braso na siya nito, ang kanyang ulo ay nakasandal sa dibdib nito.
Iniangat niya ang kanyang ulo pero mabilis na itinaas ni Lu Jinnian ang isa nitong kamay para hindi siya makagalaw, at ang isa naman ay iniyakap nito sa kanyang bewang. Habang pahigpit ng pahigpit ang yakap nito sa kanya ay bigla itong nagsalita, "Wag ka munang gumalaw."
Habang nagsasalita, kinikiskis ni Lu Jinnian ang kanyang mukha sa malambot na buhok ni Qiao Anhao bago niya unti-unting ilapat ang kanyang mga labi sa ulo nito,nalalanghap niya ang kakaibang pabango nito. Pabulong siyang nagsalita, "Wag ka munang gumalaw, hayaan mo muna akong yakapin ka sadlit, kahit sadlit lang."
Nagumpisa ng magluha ang mga mata ni Lu Jinnian. Yumuko siya at mas lalo pang hinigpitan ang kanyang yakap kay Qiao Anhao na para bang gusto niyang magkadikit na talaga sila ng tuluyan.
Kahit sino pa ang mahal mo, please hayaan mo muna akong yakapin ka ngayon, sa aking birthday. Konting oras lang ang hinihingi ko. Hayaan mo muna akong maramdaman ang init na hindi ko pa naramdaman noon, hayaan mo munang maramdaman ko na hindi ako masyadong malungkot.
Hindi naman talaga ako cold at walang emosyon na gaya ng iniisip mo sakin, pero kailangan ko lang itong gawin para hindi ako magmukhang kaawa-awa.
Hindi na gumalaw si Qiao Anhao, tahimik lang siyang nakatayo habang hinahayaan si Lu Jinnian na yakapin siya. Matapos ang ilang sandali, itinaas niya ang kanyang kamay para yakapin din ito.
Sa labas, ang kalangitan ay madilim, samantalang sa loob naman ay hindi sila naguusap at nanatili lamang sa yakap ng bawat isa.
Buong kaluluwa nilang minamahal ang bawat isa, pero nakalimutan nilang sabihin ang mga salitang, "I love you."
Lumipas ang gabi ng mapayapa at maraming oras ang lumipas bago sila magbitaw.
Ang gabing iyon, hindi gaya ng mga nakaraang gabi, walang nangyari sa kanila.
Das könnte Ihnen auch gefallen
Kommentar absatzweise anzeigen
Die Absatzkommentarfunktion ist jetzt im Web! Bewegen Sie den Mauszeiger über einen beliebigen Absatz und klicken Sie auf das Symbol, um Ihren Kommentar hinzuzufügen.
Außerdem können Sie es jederzeit in den Einstellungen aus- und einschalten.
ICH HAB ES