Kapitel 18: Like Sugar | Chapter Eighteen
There was so much tension in the car. Darnell sat in the passenger seat hugging his book bag while Jared drove them through traffic until they reached the free roads at the other side of town. The flea market was an open sale that took place in the town square every month at around five in the evening to ten at night. Jared had picked Darnell up an hour after his classes, and they would probably get there at half an hour to seven.
"So, what do you want to buy?" Jared asked, trying to ease the tense atmosphere. They'd both been quiet since Darnell hopped into the car. Maybe Darnell just wasn't in the mode from talking, or maybe the arrangement of orchid flowers Jared had gotten for him had knocked the wind out of him. Jared looked at Darnell from the side of his eye, watching as Darnell touched the petals as he kept driving. He hadn't known how to hand it to him, so he just left it on the passenger's seat and hoped Darnell would assume it was his. He was getting worried that he did something wrong since Darnell was so quiet.
"I'm not sure, anything I find interesting really," Darnell mumbled, still touching the orchids. "Oh, and thanks for this. It's pretty," Darnell finally found the voice to say, looking over at Jared who was red-faced.
"I didn't think you like it," Jared said, a bit surprised by the compliment.
"I do. I was just a bit shocked," Darnell said with a small smile, making Jared mirror it before looking away from him. That was good. He had another present for him, and he wasn't planning to give it to him if he didn't like the flowers.
"Happy birthday."
"You said that already," Darnell laughed, making Jared shrug his shoulders as he took a turn.
"I know, I just felt like saying it again," Jared muttered. It was partially a lie. He was just nervous and wanted to let some of his anxiety out by talking. Darnell just nodded, still feeling the petals of the flowers. No one had bought him flowers before, and the fact that Jared bought them for him made his heart swell a bit.
The tables, canopies, and tents that were set up as shops were soon in viewing distance. Jared had to drive around the flea market before finding an area that had been dedicated to parking. When Jared switched off the car, they both got down, Darnell left his flowers in his car, and Jared checked his pocket for his other gift. He locked the car, and the two off them walked side by side as they approached the heart of the flea market.
Jared swallowed spit, blinking a bit when he felt Darnell link their hands. They both stayed quiet, neither of them wanting to talk about the small gesture. They walked hand in hand, stopping at stands and taking a look at the things for sale. In the next half hour, Darnell had already gotten a bunch of scarfs, a hat, and what Jared wasn't sure was a poster or a game board.
"Wait, I need silk," Darnell said all of a sudden, stopping in his tracks, and making Jared pause too.
"Silk?" the older man asked with a confused frown.
"Yes, I need it for a dress I'm trying to sew," Darnell said, looking from place to place as he tried to figure out where the textile stands were.
"You sew?" Jared asked, making Darnell look at Jared with a confused look before chuckling.
"I perform drag. I sow all my outfits," Darnell explained, surprising Jared as he pulled the man in the direction of customs and textiles. So far Darnell seemed to be enjoying himself, and that made Jared happy. He kept patting his pocket to check if the present he brought along was still intact. He wasn't sure when to give it to Darnell. They were going to head back to his place after this, so Jared supposed he would hand it to him in the car, or just before they took a shower together.
Jared's face warmed up as he watched Darnell haggle with one of the sellers. They started doing that too — taking showers together. Jared had been as hesitant as he was the first time when he took a few more showers with Darnell, but he was starting to warm up to it.
As Darnell kept haggling for a few yards of silk Jared spot someone walking towards them. He raised a brow, wondering why the person would take a few steps then paused. The man looked around his age, maybe five or so years older because he could spot white hairs. Darnell noticed Jared was frowning and staring at something in the crowd. He looked over at the older man, wondering what was making him scowl.
"What are you—?" Darnell didn't finish his sentence because what he saw chased his words away. His mouth stayed open and his eyes went wide with shock. The man that had been approaching them was staring at him now. They locked eyes, and Darnell's heart rate increased.
"D-dad?" he muttered in a low tone, so low that Jared could barely hear him, and the man who was had paused walking and was now standing a distance away definitely couldn't either. Jared could now see the small similarities between them even though Darnell was a lot darker than his dad than his pale skinned father. They had the same lean stature, face shape, and mannerisms.
"Dad," Darnell said again, letting himself speak up despite his shock. He caught the man's attention this time, and Jared watched as the man continued walking forward. He was standing a few steps away from them when Darnell let go of Jared's hand and jogged the remaining distance before throwing himself into his father's hands. The old man closed his eyes, hugging his son as Darnell shut his eyes and started to silently cry.
Jared didn't know what to do. He felt like he was invading their privacy by staring so he looked away, staring at the seller Darnell had left mid haggle to run to his dad. Jared settled the rest of the negotiation and was soon standing to the side with a bag of all Darnell's stuff. As he watched them talk, he blinked when Darnell and his father looked over at him. He rubbed his neck, wondering why they had such big smiles on their faces, and he gawked in confusion when Darnell made a gesture for him to come over.
"Dad, this is my boyfriend." Jared almost did a double take when the words left Darnell's lips as he came closer. He paused, staring at Darnell at his father in disbelief before trying to comport himself. He decided that Darnell had to come up with something to tell his father. It's not like he could say he was an escort or anything. But the word made Jared flustered and shiver with nerves since Darnell kept repeating it as he spoke to his father in a thick accent he had never heard before. It was English, but it seemed 'broken' and disjointed in a way Jared couldn't pick up. He wondered if this was the legendary 'code-switching' some of his colleagues talked about. Apparently, how immigrants talked to each other was different in a way, even when they spoke to each other in English.
Jared was pulled out from his thought's when he felt a hand take his. He looked down, realizing that Darnell's tanner slimmer hand was holding on to his as he kept talking to his dad. Darnell's dad said something that made him and his son smile at each other with glittering eyes. They seemed sad, and like they were thinking back to an event. Jared wondered if it was when his mother kicked him out. Thinking about that made Jared feel out of place again — like he shouldn't be here while they were sharing a moment, but the way Darnell gripped his hand told him he was wanted there, even though all he did was observe.
Darnell let go of Jared's hand before reaching into his pocket and taking out his phone. His father did the same, and they exchanged numbers before the older man reached out to shake Jared's hand before giving his son a side hug. He smiled at them both, making Darnell raise his hand in a little wave that his father mimicked before disappearing into the crowd.
Darnell took Jared's hand again, giving it a squeeze before turning to the man. "That's my dad Jared," Darnell said, more as a statement than as something he was telling Jared. Jared smiled, giving his hand a squeeze back. "After I gave up looking, can you imagine I found him here. He said he left my mum," Darnell muttered, letting the last part trail off. "So, he started a small textile business a while ago," Darnell added, looking out into the crowd.
"Hey, it's getting dark do you want to head back to your place?" Darnell asked, abandoning the previous conversation. Jared just nodded, not wanting to pry too much into what they had discussed. From the few times, Darnell spoke about his family, Jared had picked up that Darnell's mum was the breadwinner, and Darnell's father was an immigrant that had a hard time finding work because of his English. Jared assumed Darnell's father eventually left his mum because of her position on her son's sexuality. Jared shook his head, all this thinking about Darnell's parents were starting to make the thought of his creep into his mind. It wouldn't be far off to assume that one — if not both of them — was dead.
"Yes, let's head back," Jared answered Darnell after a while, remembering that he still had another present to give him. He swallowed the little bit of spit he had in his mouth that had gone dry as he felt his pocket to check if the present he had brought with him was still there. He was nervous, and he didn't know how Darnell would react to being given matching jewelry. He wanted to get Darnell a ring, but he chickened out and opted for a chain. Rings were too romantic, and he didn't think he could engage with Darnell on that level yet.
The two left the flea market and headed in the direction of the parking area. When they got to Jared's car, Jared unlocked the doors and they both got in after putting Darnell's stuff at the back.
"Thank you for bringing me," Darnell said as Jared started the car. Jared looked up, catching the toothy grin on Darnell's face. "Not only did I get the things I need I got to meet my dad," he said, as Jared looked away, tightening his grip on the steering wheel.
"You're welcome," Jared said, biting down on his bottom lip. There was a question he had on his mind, but he wondered if it was okay to bring it up.
"You called me your boyfriend," Jared brought up, pushing aside his doubts that told him not to say anything. Darnell was quiet, and Jared turned to look at him, his eyes going wide as he saw a pained look on Darnell's face.
"If you don't want me to say that, it's fine. I won't say it again. I just said you were because I had to think of something—"
"You told Nyx I was your tutor," Jared said, trying to explain why he was a little shocked, but Darnell just took it as Jared yelling at him.
"I said I won't do it again," he said, balling his hands into fists on his thighs and his eyes darted around. "I get why you're angry," he mumbled, taking it as a confirmation that Jared didn't think of him the way he thought of him.
"No, I'm not angry, you're reading my mind wrong," Jared said, reaching out to hold on of Darnell's hands. Darnel looked at him, his features stained with confusion. "I was just surprised..." Jared trailed, looking down at car gears separating their seats. "Call me whatever you want," he muttered, looking back at Darnell. They held each other's gaze for a while until Jared let go of Darnell's hand and rested back on his seat.
"I got you a present," Jared said, fishing in his pocket for the small box. Darnell watched him, letting his eyes follow the little brown when Jared brought it out. The older man hesitated a bit, opening the box before handing it over to Darnell. There were two silver necklaces inside, and Darnell immediately knew which one was his because the pendant said 'Dee.'
Darnell let out a small excited laugh as he looked from the necklaces in the box to Jared, and then to the necklaces again. "It's so pretty," Darnell commented, touching them with his fingers. "Aww, why does yours just say Jared? That's boring," Darnell said, making Jared smile a little. He wasn't upset, he was just commenting on something he would have wanted to be different. Also, Darnell simply accepting the fact that Jared had one too mad Jared's nerve go to rest. He didn't mind it at all. Getting him something sentimental wasn't crossing the line.
"I love it, thank you," Darnell said, looking at the box and then at Jared with an odd glint in his eyes.
"Jared—" Darnell started saying, but he paused. He wasn't sure where the sudden urge to tell Jared how he felt was coming from, but it had filled him from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. It was now or never. "You know I like you right? I like you a lot," Darnell said, feeling his hands shake as he spoke up. He had never been in this position before. He never had to make his feelings known to someone.
"I like you too," Jared muttered, guessing Darnell just liked him. As a friend. Maybe a tutor. He wasn't sure, but one of those two options made a lot more sense than the nonsensical screaming in his head. Darnell didn't like him romantically, thinking like that would only hurt him in the long run.
"No," Darnell said as a dry laugh escaped his lips. "I know what you think I'm saying that's not it. I like — I love you," Darnell said, realizing that if he didn't make it as clear as possible Jared would still find a way to misread him.
Jared just sat on his sit, stunned and wide eyes.
"I love you so much," Darnell repeated, swallowing down the spit in his mouth. He had one last thing to say — to ask. He stared at Jared, watching as the older man looked at anything but him. His face was red, and he seemed shocked and filled with disbelief.
"I don't want it to be something I say as an excuse next time, so—" Darnell paused, looking down as he watched his hands shake, and fingers fidget. The box with the necklaces was on his lap. He closed his eyes, trying to muster up the courage to finish what he had started.
"Jared, can you be my boyfriend?"
Darnell looked up, still feeling his hands shake. He had done it, and now all that was left was for Jared to respond.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein