After Zhang Ke's identity was exposed, the organization stopped assigning tasks to her. All she was in charge of was keeping an eye on Ling Tianya.
However, it was a grueling and torturous mission for her.
She had spent nearly five years with Ling Tianya, spending most days and nights with her. She could feel the sincerity that Ling Tianya had poured out on her over the years, her care and her teachings.
Hence, every time she caught Ling Tianya staring at her warily with her guard up, her heart ached and she was in agony.
She wished that Ling Tianya would hate her, curse her and despise her completely with all her heart. She wouldn't even mind if Ling Tianya hit her. She would not retaliate or defend herself.
She knew that she deserved that. She had lied to Ling Tianya and had cheated her mentor out of her feelings and sincerity.
Once trust was broken, it was impossible to get it back.