Kapitel 241: The silent guilt that kills Giselle
Giselle's walk back home took pretty long term than the hurry she demonstrated to get there initially. Shane left long ago with intimating Giselle to return with an answer soon, which is whether Giselle is going to meet Lillian Grey alone or does little Lia accompany her.
However, that wasn't the reason for Giselle's slow pace on the street. Something else occupied her mind other than debating of Lia's little situation.
Meeting Lillian Grey!
…
It isn't like she never gave it a thought before. Ever since returning home, Giselle continually thought of meeting Lillian in favor of fate or certainty. However, until now, there never came an opportunity to let the speculation run into existence.
Meeting Lillian is no easy for Giselle to even begin with, for there are a lot of questions that attacked her state of mind and didn't bring peace to its wondering.
Amongst that chaos, one of the biggest hurdles for Giselle would be to explain Lia's situation.
The two past best acquaintances haven't met each other in years, not a word shared between them. The separation is frankly too much of a hindrance for both to act upon meeting again.
'Will she be angry at me?' - Giselle thought as she walked the city streets in the bright afternoon.
Walking helps Giselle reminisce the moments like that last time she and Lillian met each other without worry. Giselle's heart warmed along with sweet sweat flushing across her hot forehead and glowing cheeks, thinking of it.
What supposed to become a gloomy high school prom end turned out to be the best night of Giselle's entire existence because it was the first time Lillian surprised her with much-unnoticed love and care. The young version of Giselle at that time couldn't sleep at all and kept hiding her blushing face onto the pillows all night.
Giselle never dreamed of disappearing, and that was the reason she kept her thriving love for Lillian hidden to herself, without ever expressing to the chances of getting rejected once again. It would hurt her more than any. However, to her astonishment, she had to quit and disappear when Giselle learned the news that her secretive feelings got reciprocated positively from Diego.
Giselle struggled, scared, and cornered in life both physically and mentally with this young man's conduct, chose to leave Lillian for the betterment of the situation.
When Giselle left home, carrying Diego's insults, it made her commit a grave sin of testifying Diego's remarks and ended up consummating with Ethan under the worst tipsy state, ridiculous to check if she were indeed a gay or just starved off opposite sex.
A mistake- that resulted in Lia.
Also, a mistake that to date Giselle carries as guilt. Lia's presence also silently haunts Giselle's sanity. She regretted to commit such a crime even as a joke to test an enemy's words.
Giselle knew she was gay at a tender age. However, having never committed to a relationship, Lillian Grey was the only person she had her eyes set on and fell in love for the first time. When someone questioned those fragile feelings, it ended up making Giselle doubt her true self. The words of Diego mentioning Giselle's act of being gay are due to a lack of having attachments from male companions.
These words kept torturing Giselle, every day, throughout her college life. Even when she clearly rejected Ethan Ruz, in the end, the unconsciousness state resulted from hard liquor made Giselle depressed to the point of acting crazed.
Later, she confessed that her behavior was a mistake and apologized to Ethan for acting lower than a human and deceiving a gentleman's passion. It was that time, Ethan asked for the truth, and Giselle spilled it to him.
The two went separate ways until within a few weeks later, Giselle found out that she was pregnant. The two panicked, and Ethan, with a heavy heart, left the choice with Giselle. When she decided to give birth to Lia, Ethan felt relieved. His sincere love for Giselle now has an existence, and that gratified the young man. He swore then to become a complete support system for Giselle as a true friend and a well-wisher with only one condition of raising Lia together and giving her the best in life to live and dream. Giselle, having never met a man with such maturity, fell for his mercy and vowed to protect and raise Lia with much love and care. She acknowledged him as the first guy ever to receive her confidence.
The two peacefully separated, putting Lia under Giselle's care.
No matter how much Giselle exhibited gratefulness towards Ethan for understanding, and thankful to Lia for letting her become a mother, the fact of committing such an act keeps silently eating Giselle. It is the main reason behind Giselle's indifference towards seeing Lillian Grey. Diego's threat also scares her, but even more so, it is her own sin that doesn't let her live in peace.
Recalling it now, Giselle, when she saw Lillian back at Shane's place for the first time after several years, was intuitively longing to run towards her with a grand cheerful smile. But, the minute Giselle looked at Lillian's earnest face, she got reminded of letting herself get tainted under inebriation and sleeping with someone that goes against her morality. Giselle panicked and wanted to run away from the second she realized these terrifying memories of her past. She didn't want to see Lillian, for she never stayed pure in her love and lost into the fiction of remarks provided by others.
'How can I ever face her?' - Giselle thought in deep that she paused for a while on the sidewalk to calm down from anxiety.
Having reached home later in the late afternoon, Giselle rested until the clock hit the time to alarm her to leave home yet again and go pick up Lia from school.
***
"Mother, how surprising is that Andy is living nearby? Her mother usually picks her sharp, and so, she was kind enough to ask me if she could drop me at home since it is close by," Lia shared as she entered home, running straight to her room to drop her things and busily digging inside her bag.
Giselle took the couch to rest for a while from the exhaustion. It is the second time she left home in a hurry and return at a ridiculously slow pace that made Lia drop about her friend living closely. Giselle is grateful for the news of knowing someone who lives near. She thought that could be of help at times of need.
Lia, having found her want, ran to her mother's side while hiding the object behind, she stood facing Giselle with an eager, enthusiastic smile.
Giselle knew that face and the delightful expressions it performed.
"What happened in school today?" she asked, pulling in little Lia closer to pet her cute button nose.
Lia wriggled under her mother's embrace and removed the hands from behind to reveal a paper.
Giselle got it and studied the content inside.
"I scored full marks in spelling, mother," Lia said in her most cheerful tone.
Giselle checked the words with care. Having examined the paper praised Lia with a kiss of appreciation.
"My baby is smart, and I know that already," Giselle bragged, and Lia giggled.
"It is time you show the world, your genius, dear," the mother kept praising to Lia's growing smile.
"Mother?" Lia called softly.
When Giselle responded, Lia asked if she was feeling better. Giselle stunned from such words, answered that she was doing fine and that Lia shouldn't worry too much.
"Of course, I worry about you, mother."
"I will always worry about you. Just like everyone, you deserve to be happy too, mother."
"I keep seeing you all sad, and I don't wish for it-"
Lia kept speaking out her heart, but Giselle's world shattered when she heard her child say those exact words once Lillian Grey told her.
It was that time when Lillian tightly embraced Giselle in a sweet surprise and the first-ever kiss she planted on Giselle's forehead, followed by then heartfelt words that touched Giselle.
Giselle kept staring at Lia closely that all of her pain slowly ceased without knowledge. She watched the curious eyes, the little nose which Giselle love to tap at times in expression of naughty or tease, the little rosy lips and the soft bright cheeks- Giselle gazed at her child as the way she did when Lia came out of her belly.
This precious child did come from a mistake. However, her presence never gave trouble to Giselle. Frankly, it only saved Giselle on multiple occasions.
Lia's existence is salvation to Giselle's misery. The one guilt she carries too also disappears after seeing this child's honest face.
"Lia?" Giselle called out this time.
Lia attended.
"Will you accompany me this weekend to visit a dear friend of mine?" Giselle asked after many trials in her head.
Lia blinked as she heard.
"Woah, we are meeting Aunty Anna and Uncle Jake?" Lia danced in joy.
"No. No. This person is different, but she is also Aunty Anna's friend," Giselle replied.
Lia thought for a while to connect the dots.
"Oh, so you three were like best friends?" she asked after figuring out.
Giselle nodded gracefully.
"Okay. If it's mother's dear friend, then I would like to meet them as well," Lia responded with a happy grin.
Hearing Lia says so, Giselle appeared confounded in surprise.
Lia agreed to meet Lillian Grey, just like that!
Even though the girl did not know anything concerning this matter, Giselle worried about their meeting. After receiving a positive response, since then, Giselle wished, prayed, and hoped for Lia to like Lillian and vice verse.
That night the two packed things for the immediate flight. Lia got thrilled for the trip while Giselle notified Shane of her answer.
AUTORENGEDANKEN 
ljack_ace
ljack_ace Oh crikey!
This chapter is pretty important as it talks about Lia's birth and Giselle's self struggle.
I hope you enjoy reading it!
Thank you, as always, to you, who read my work with much love and attention.
Take care and rock it, guys.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
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