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4.27
- Qualität des Schreibens
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- Geschichtenentwicklung
- Charakter-Design
- Welthintergrund
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Sorry mate,I can't read anymore chapters, the story looks great, but the grammar is giving me a headache, having to read a second time again most of the sentences to understand it, it killing me. Good luck, keep it going
exp..........................................................................................................................................
The MC is naive and gives a Naruto vibe,which I particularly hate.I read 20 chapters and all he is doing is whining and getting angry at the things he can't control.Not even training for the three months he was considered a slave and instead of being vengeful and planning to blow Mary jeoise to the high heavens and making escape a priority he is like mix of Naruto and Luffy.My main problem with the MC is his lack of initiative in anything hell he could have directly stored his collar in storage space and quietly staged an escape with the others.I counted 3 times he was saved by luck and sacrifice of others.He wasted three months and in a single moment of anger undo the effort that the other spend on him indicating that he is a pig teammate who pulls others into their troubles.I don't believe any of the current admirals in any country will be as rash and brash as this one.
Spoiler enthüllen
Found out our MC is a slave to the celestial dragons sooooooooooooooooooooo 1/5 Rating no matter what. just not a good fanfic in general but that was kinda the last straw
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I give this fanfic a chance ..... I think i like it. I give this fanfic a chance ..... I think i like it. I give this fanfic a chance ..... I think i like it.
************* Good Worka! ************** ****************************************** *************And I need more! *********** ******************************************
more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more
awesome. it's a cool work. pls don't drop. keep up the god* work )! awesome. it's a cool work. pls don't drop. keep up the god* work )! awesome. it's a cool work. pls don't drop. keep up the god* work )!
[img=coins][img=exp][img=faceslap][img=fp][img=recommend][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=fp][img=fp][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=faceslap][img=recommend][img=fp][img=exp]
Its a really good book with a lot to offer. ————— - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - / / / / / - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - / // / / / - - - - -
First a question before the review. There are some old reviews even tho the chapters are new... maybe you deleted the chapters to remake the novel, that i don't know. But i read he joined the straw hats in a review and so, does he join the straw hats in the 'remake'? Story wise: Interesting that he started as a slave and the system is... well a system. Writing: Some mistakes here and there but nothing unreadable. Story: Not enough out there to really say anything. Char design: Same as story World background: Should be good as in OP has a good background. Dont know if it wil be shown in this novel tho... atleast not yet. (not enough chaps)
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The story is well although we can a few mistakes here and there. The reason why it is 2 stars because of the plot. It seems too repetitive. If I wanted to see Luffy's adventure, I just watch the anime. Even his personality seems one dimensional. The writer should not skip the MC formative years because it is important to the character. Then what about Hancock did he just forget all of a sudden because that is stupid. He did spend a lot of time with girls during his time as a slave. Overall, this fanfic is a failure,
Spoiler enthüllen
Fuck... Mc is fucking idiot Why he adventure with straw hat its make me drop it............................. (-__-) (*__*)(%__%) (®__®) (°_°) (¶_¶)
Well, come on, the story is not the worst I’ve read, yet it made me quit even when the worst ones didn’t. "But is the story that bad?" Well, no, but I have a list of my own reasons, which can also be yours. Reason 1- Mc marine I am not saying that being a marine is bad, by no means, I have read many good stories of marines, the problem is that the author skipped all that part and ran from him joining the Garp until he became a reserve admiral in two chapters. (I know this may be for hiding certain things, but this is also my third reason later.) Reason 2- Mc joins Luffy MC joins Luffy's crew when he meets him, I wasn't expecting that, ever, MC says it's for a while and because of a mission, but for me it still doesn't pay to be under someone, even more when you have the strength of an admiral and the luffy in this phase has at most the strength of the crocodile, what will he be doing there? Watching the story go on while having tea and writing your book, not my type, sorry. Reason 3-I hate mystery The author says that the MC has a whole reason to do what he does and a hidden personality, okay, but I hate mystery! When I start a story I think, the MC is me with a different personality, let's see what I'm going to do and see in third person. The problem when the author hides everything is that I can't do this anymore, I'm just a guy listening to someone else's story and the person is still prolonging the events when he tells me to create a “suspense”, it irritates me, knowing that he has hidden reasons irritates me, knowing that he has a hidden personality irritates me. Finally, author, I'm not writing this review to harm you, but for people like me who read the reviews before reading a story, I really wanted to read a review like that before I started reading, anyway ... good luck with your story, I will leave the criticism as a spoiler for only people like me to read.
Spoiler enthüllen
I LOVE ONE PIECE!!! Hoping for more chapters to come!!!!👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
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Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.
This book keeps getting better and better I can’t stop reading it so please keep writing this book and please write the next chapters soon so I’ll be able to read it thank you 🙏😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣😆😆😆😆
Don't give a review or comment on the reason for Mc joining the Marine because his reason for joining the Marine is the biggest twist of this story. So if you excuse me and continue reading peacefully you will be able to understand the story better and with enough time you will be able to understand every reason for him every action and at the same time, you will start liking the story. Also, those who think that the Protagonist of this story is a warm and loving person with a carefree attitude than I will say that you are too naive my friend and you haven't seen anything dark or more twisted personality than our MC in this story is ....
Like the story's direction so far and how reo is a marine undercover on Luffy a crew to investigate corrupt marines or warlords from a friendly pirates perspective hopefully he fully joins the crew at some point after going passed the point of no return like killing a celestial dragon at saboady or something. It could use better grammar but that can be fixed with proofreading and maybe show his burner status and skills more often as well as explain his system better and how it works but besides that it’s been a good read to pass time. If harem maybe Nami, Nojiko, Robin, Vivi (even though cousins, which should make for interesting arc), and boa. If small harem then just Nami, Robin(since his cover identity is a history fanatic), and boa
THE mc Sun Reo reincarneted in One piece world in the form of a minx human hybrid as a tenryuubito slave With the potential to eat three types of devil fruit Being forced to eat the magnet fruit and slaving together With the boa sisters start to walk the path of a marine and having adventures alongside the strawhats. What will happen NEXT? What will be his NEXT fruits.? My vote is for enel fruit to combine With his magnet fruit bring a new level of power.
Spoiler enthüllen
more?............................................... ................................................... ............................................ ..................................... ...............................
Good story ░▄▀▄▀▀▀▀▄▀▄░░░░░░░░░ ░█░░░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░▄░ █░░▀░░▀░░░░░▀▄▄░░█░█ █░▄░█▀░▄░░░░░░░▀▀░░█ █░░▀▀▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█
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The sentence structure is horrendous I didn't read pass the first chapter because it. I suggest the author get some proofreading software, a proofreader/editor or something.
Sorry mate,I can't read anymore chapters, the story looks great, but the grammar is giving me a headache, having to read a second time again most of the sentences to understand it, it killing me. Good luck, keep it going
exp..........................................................................................................................................
The MC is naive and gives a Naruto vibe,which I particularly hate.I read 20 chapters and all he is doing is whining and getting angry at the things he can't control.Not even training for the three months he was considered a slave and instead of being vengeful and planning to blow Mary jeoise to the high heavens and making escape a priority he is like mix of Naruto and Luffy.My main problem with the MC is his lack of initiative in anything hell he could have directly stored his collar in storage space and quietly staged an escape with the others.I counted 3 times he was saved by luck and sacrifice of others.He wasted three months and in a single moment of anger undo the effort that the other spend on him indicating that he is a pig teammate who pulls others into their troubles.I don't believe any of the current admirals in any country will be as rash and brash as this one.
Spoiler enthüllen Found out our MC is a slave to the celestial dragons sooooooooooooooooooooo 1/5 Rating no matter what. just not a good fanfic in general but that was kinda the last straw
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I give this fanfic a chance ..... I think i like it. I give this fanfic a chance ..... I think i like it. I give this fanfic a chance ..... I think i like it.
************* Good Worka! ************** ****************************************** *************And I need more! *********** ******************************************
more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more
awesome. it's a cool work. pls don't drop. keep up the god* work )! awesome. it's a cool work. pls don't drop. keep up the god* work )! awesome. it's a cool work. pls don't drop. keep up the god* work )!
[img=coins][img=exp][img=faceslap][img=fp][img=recommend][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=fp][img=fp][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=faceslap][img=recommend][img=fp][img=exp]
Its a really good book with a lot to offer. ————— - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - / / / / / - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - / // / / / - - - - -
First a question before the review. There are some old reviews even tho the chapters are new... maybe you deleted the chapters to remake the novel, that i don't know. But i read he joined the straw hats in a review and so, does he join the straw hats in the 'remake'? Story wise: Interesting that he started as a slave and the system is... well a system. Writing: Some mistakes here and there but nothing unreadable. Story: Not enough out there to really say anything. Char design: Same as story World background: Should be good as in OP has a good background. Dont know if it wil be shown in this novel tho... atleast not yet. (not enough chaps)
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The story is well although we can a few mistakes here and there. The reason why it is 2 stars because of the plot. It seems too repetitive. If I wanted to see Luffy's adventure, I just watch the anime. Even his personality seems one dimensional. The writer should not skip the MC formative years because it is important to the character. Then what about Hancock did he just forget all of a sudden because that is stupid. He did spend a lot of time with girls during his time as a slave. Overall, this fanfic is a failure,
Spoiler enthüllen Fuck... Mc is fucking idiot Why he adventure with straw hat its make me drop it............................. (-__-) (*__*)(%__%) (®__®) (°_°) (¶_¶)
Well, come on, the story is not the worst I’ve read, yet it made me quit even when the worst ones didn’t. "But is the story that bad?" Well, no, but I have a list of my own reasons, which can also be yours. Reason 1- Mc marine I am not saying that being a marine is bad, by no means, I have read many good stories of marines, the problem is that the author skipped all that part and ran from him joining the Garp until he became a reserve admiral in two chapters. (I know this may be for hiding certain things, but this is also my third reason later.) Reason 2- Mc joins Luffy MC joins Luffy's crew when he meets him, I wasn't expecting that, ever, MC says it's for a while and because of a mission, but for me it still doesn't pay to be under someone, even more when you have the strength of an admiral and the luffy in this phase has at most the strength of the crocodile, what will he be doing there? Watching the story go on while having tea and writing your book, not my type, sorry. Reason 3-I hate mystery The author says that the MC has a whole reason to do what he does and a hidden personality, okay, but I hate mystery! When I start a story I think, the MC is me with a different personality, let's see what I'm going to do and see in third person. The problem when the author hides everything is that I can't do this anymore, I'm just a guy listening to someone else's story and the person is still prolonging the events when he tells me to create a “suspense”, it irritates me, knowing that he has hidden reasons irritates me, knowing that he has a hidden personality irritates me. Finally, author, I'm not writing this review to harm you, but for people like me who read the reviews before reading a story, I really wanted to read a review like that before I started reading, anyway ... good luck with your story, I will leave the criticism as a spoiler for only people like me to read.
Spoiler enthüllen I LOVE ONE PIECE!!! Hoping for more chapters to come!!!!👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
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Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.Harem.
This book keeps getting better and better I can’t stop reading it so please keep writing this book and please write the next chapters soon so I’ll be able to read it thank you 🙏😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣😆😆😆😆
Don't give a review or comment on the reason for Mc joining the Marine because his reason for joining the Marine is the biggest twist of this story. So if you excuse me and continue reading peacefully you will be able to understand the story better and with enough time you will be able to understand every reason for him every action and at the same time, you will start liking the story. Also, those who think that the Protagonist of this story is a warm and loving person with a carefree attitude than I will say that you are too naive my friend and you haven't seen anything dark or more twisted personality than our MC in this story is ....
Like the story's direction so far and how reo is a marine undercover on Luffy a crew to investigate corrupt marines or warlords from a friendly pirates perspective hopefully he fully joins the crew at some point after going passed the point of no return like killing a celestial dragon at saboady or something. It could use better grammar but that can be fixed with proofreading and maybe show his burner status and skills more often as well as explain his system better and how it works but besides that it’s been a good read to pass time. If harem maybe Nami, Nojiko, Robin, Vivi (even though cousins, which should make for interesting arc), and boa. If small harem then just Nami, Robin(since his cover identity is a history fanatic), and boa
THE mc Sun Reo reincarneted in One piece world in the form of a minx human hybrid as a tenryuubito slave With the potential to eat three types of devil fruit Being forced to eat the magnet fruit and slaving together With the boa sisters start to walk the path of a marine and having adventures alongside the strawhats. What will happen NEXT? What will be his NEXT fruits.? My vote is for enel fruit to combine With his magnet fruit bring a new level of power.
Spoiler enthüllen more?............................................... ................................................... ............................................ ..................................... ...............................
Good story ░▄▀▄▀▀▀▀▄▀▄░░░░░░░░░ ░█░░░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░▄░ █░░▀░░▀░░░░░▀▄▄░░█░█ █░▄░█▀░▄░░░░░░░▀▀░░█ █░░▀▀▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█
Keep......................................................................................................................................up
The sentence structure is horrendous I didn't read pass the first chapter because it. I suggest the author get some proofreading software, a proofreader/editor or something.