Kapitel 3: Unknown Feelings...
"I promise."
Nuwa was standing in front of Liena's bed. When she shouted those words, her always slim and delicate body was trembling drastically. There was a thread of sadness as well as nervousness in her eyes, but her voice sounded very powerful and determined.
As Nuwa spoke those two words, Princess Liena looked at Nuwa with a blank expression as she was in a daze.
She felt a strange tingling pain in her chest. It was not like when that assassin stabbed her. It was a different kind of feeling. Like a sharp needle was poking her heart. It was very suffocating.
Some painful memories she always tried to avoid flashed through her mind. Suddenly she realized.
'I know these feelings... It's just like seven years ago! Again because of me... Because of my selfish demands...' she thought as she closed her eyes and a tear ran down her pale cheeks.
Seven years ago, Princess Liena and her twin brother, Crown Prince Lin Bengt, who was a few minutes younger than her, were kidnapped, and it was all because of her.
Liena had a weak body constitution since she was born. Her mother, Queen Lin, was only fifteen years old when she got pregnant with twins - Crown Prince Lin Bengt and Princess Lin Liena. For a teenager getting pregnant with two children, it was a difficult period for her. Almost all the time she was ill. Unlike other pregnant women who became fat, she became quite thin. Her jade-like fair skin became pale as if she was a blank sheet of paper. She always suffered from splitting headaches and would throw up. She had trouble digesting food.
The palace doctor told King Lin that her body was suffering from a lack of nutrients needed to nurture the children's development in her womb. It was crucial that Queen Lin cares for her body; he recommended multiple blood supplements and dietary advice. However, those methods were not fully guaranteed and he suggested King Lin to be prepared for the worst result.
King Lin loved his wife very much, so when he understood her critical condition, he became worried and ordered her to be bedridden. Whenever he got spare time, he'd take care of her.
During delivery, she suffered blood loss and had faced complications to give birth to the children especially the first one.
And the first one was no one but Princess Liena!
As a result, she suffered the most.
Princess Liena was born with a fragile body. She got sick very easily, so her parents were always concerned about her. They were very overprotective. Even a simple cold could turn the palace into chaos. Because of her parents' nagging, most of the time she had to be bedridden. King Lin employed a large number of the best physicians of the kingdom for Princess Liena's sake. He advised her to always stay in the palace and not to leave.
As a result, Princess Liena became lonely. Deep inside she was disgusted with her life. She was frustrated with her incompetence. Because she always stayed in her room; although sometimes strolled the palace, she had no friends, had nothing to do. To sum up, her life was boring.
So she tried to make friends with maids and guards. She would always call little maids who were close to her age or just entered their teens to chat, but she didn't know why they'd always looked at her with teary eyes like she was some bully.
No one in the palace talked to her. And when they spoke, it was a small chat which would end very quickly.
'What if we get punished?' - they thought. People with lower ranks would always panic in fear of punishment from the King if they interacted with her.
She even heard some of then saying that they were afraid they might get the princess's illness if they went too close to her!
But her illness was not contagious!
So eventually, they started to avoid her without understanding her feelings. It was a taboo to become the friend of the ill princess. No matter what, they couldn't anger the mighty King's doting daughter. They didn't want to be beheaded!!!
Since no one in the palace wanted to befriend her, her brother was her only friend. However, Liena always wanted to make friends with girls her own age.
That's why King Lin arranged parties every week and always invited aristocrat's children to attend and play with Liena.
But the results were always the same and hurtful.
Boys only spoke and played with Bengt, and girls would merely show her some formalities because they were the guests.
So after the introductory phase, they would take their leave and started to gossip or play by themselves.
Most of the time it was her, who approached them first and took the initiative to start a friendly conversation. As those conversations progressed, at a certain point they would ask about her health issues and how was she feeling then and so on. In the beginning, she used to think that they were her friend and they were inquiring her because they were concerned about her well-being.
But as time passed by, by those repetition events, she came to understand that the meaning was something else!
She understood they were not worried about her at all. They were showing off on the surface but actually, they were mocking her for being an incompetence Princess, who depended on her father's wealth, fortune and power.
She even heard them gossiping about her, badmouthing and rebuking her parents for being overprotective towards a good for nothing child.
They even called her a nuisance!
So after that, she became more depressed and shut herself out from all those people and never attended parties again.
On the other hand, Prince Bengt's physical condition was normal, like other kids. So he didn't have to suffer his parent's vigilance. Presumably, the parents didn't bother him either as they do to their daughter because of his stable health.
So Bengt grew up freely and lively. He was a cheerful child. He was very friendly and could easily start conversations with people. Which was why people around him felt, he was approachable. The child around his age always wanted to befriend him. And that's why he had a lot of friends.
He had a pair of big eyes, which looked like shining stars. So whenever he talked with people, his shining eyes would glitter, which was very adorable. His aura and cuteness made him look like a fluffy Persian cat, which could even melt a cold-hearted person's heart. He was very friendly. People always cherished and believed in him. He was very popular. Everyone loved him a lot.
Liena also loved him. Her brother was the only one who deeply understood her feelings. He always made her smile and laugh whenever he talked to her. He was a storyteller. He told her amazing and interesting stories that he learned from others.
Prince Bengt was a good brother. He promised her that he would protect her forever. And actually, he did…
Her brother understood her loneliness very well. So one day, he asked if she wished to do something. And she answered yes. She wanted to go outside the palace and enjoy her life full at least for one day. Like her brother and other people did.
Listening to her silly wish, Prince Bengt giggled as his face became bright.
So, one day they sneakily went outside of the palace.
And then, it happened.
When they were kidnapped, inhumanly tortured, and her precious brother was killed in front of her, she had the same unknown heartache just like she had now.
And it was nothing but fear!
Yes!
Now she finally realized!
This pain was not coming from injuries.
It was from fear.
She feared!
Feared she couldn't protect Nuwa.
Feared something terrible would happen to her.
She feared that Nuwa would end up just like her younger brother.
Tears started to drip from her eyes.
AUTORENGEDANKEN 
BawMeaw
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