Kapitel 255: She is Jealous?

"That's not it, child." Fest shook his head. "Pain is a natural thing to show that something is wrong."

"Pain is natural?" Robin pondered. Fest nodded.

"Yes. It's a warning sign, an expression of a lack, or a need for aid, or a need for healing in any case. It's something God put in place to protect you from unknowingly heading headlong into what would destroy you. Those who go about unable to feel pain cannot see the difference between keeping their hand out of the fire or inside of it, other than the potential loss of a limb."

Fest sighed. "It's also because of that, that we feel even more clearly the loss, the absence of a loved one. Its presence reminds us just how much we truly cared about that person."

"But why?" Robin asked. "Why did they have to die? Why did He allow it? He must have known..."

"Unfortunately, that's something I am unable to explain." Fest shook his head. "Only God knows the reason why He allowed that accident to happen at that specific time. But, know this, hero: everything happens for a reason. God would not allow it if He did not see some greater good coming out as a result of it."

At that, Fest stood, and picked up the lantern again. "Perhaps that is the very reason why you are here today. Good night, Hero Robin."

Robin watched him leave. Fest seemed to have such an unwavering faith in the character of God, that now she herself was beginning to wonder if it was the same god they were talking about.

But, her own mother had also believed in God in such a manner. Were Fest and Mother right? or were they both merely being duped by a demon disguised as a deity?

Robin found she only had more questions to ask. But it seemed like there was no one to answer.

"...You know, I am right here at your side...." Hikaru the sword on her waist spoke up, sounding miffed. "Feel free to ask me any questions you like!"

"Then, have you ever lost someone dear to you?" Robin asked.

"Lost? As long as they're God's friend, dear, they are never truly lost." Hikaru answered.

"Then, what if I should happen to bear a grudge against God for taking people away from my side?" Robin asked.

"You make it sound like either they're friends with you or not at all. Friendship doesn't work like that." Hikaru replied. "You can have multiple friends. Just as your friends can have multiple friends. Instead of engaging over a tug of war over a supposed 'friendship custody' why don't you just also be God's friend?"

Robin fell silent.

"You know, when it comes to friendship battles like the one I just described, the one who usually ends up getting hurt is the one in between." Hikaru added. "It sounds to me like you're incredibly jealous of God."

"Jealous? Me?" Robin pointed at herself in dumbfound surprise.

"Mhmm. Jealous." Hikaru continued. "You want that person by your side again, to care for you and love you alone, but her eyes and heart are turned towards God. And that thought makes you extremely bitter. Because if she's loving God, then it feels like the room she has in her heart for you has become one god's size smaller. And since God is so big and so great, then surely, your place would be miniscule in comparison, right? At least, that's how your father described it to me back then."

Robin once again couldn't say anything. Hikaru had hit the nail on the head. Her father had also felt this way?

"The heart is a mysterious thing, actually. It can harbor a love much greater than itself, to the point where the physical size of the heart's walls do nothing to limit the amount of love one can hold. Thus, your love for your mother will never crowd out the love you have for your brother. And the love for your friend will never do away with the love you have for your pet or your neighbor. This is something which I, who have no physical heart, can attest to with certainty."

"Then...as God's friend, why would he allow her to die like that, in such a horrible accident?" Robin asked.

"Her body passed away, yes. But, it wasn't merely flesh and blood that you cherished, was it? Her thoughts, her spirit, her soul: her very core existence is what is truly important. Perhaps she did so in order to save others from such a fate." Hikaru responded.

"But, do you honestly believe that God would abandon her spirit to nothingness?"

"A true friend... wouldn't do that." Robin answered.

"So there's your answer, then! You really get stuck over the oddest of thoughts sometimes." Hikaru sighed.

"Er...you really think so?" Robin asked, sheepishly.

At the moment, she didn't really know what to make of her thoughts. But, she felt a little bit less troubled by them. Setting the matter aside, Robin headed back to her room to rest.

------

The next morning, Robin noticed everyone was glancing at her with a somewhat concerned, somewhat relieved expression.

"What?" She finally asked Christian, who she caught staring at her for the third time over breakfast.

"Er...nothing." Christian tried to avoid answering, but Robin's smile had turned scary.

"You have exactly one minute to tell me why everyone has been looking at me so oddly." Robin said in a perfectly clear voice. "Speak."

"Yes sir!" Christian saluted out of habit. Robin could be as scary as Keith sometimes....

"So?" Robin asked.

"Well...Yesterday, you skipped lunch and dinner." Christian began.

"That I did. And?" Robin asked.

"Well, at first we just thought you were really tired, but come dinner time, you hadn't woke up, so we were getting worried..."Christian's voice became gradually softer. "Worried that maybe you wouldn't wake up again..."

Robin looked about the table at the others, who had decided to turn their attention to their food and their tea. Only Chelsea waved a hand at Robin, unabashedly.

"Well, aren't you relieved then." Robin finally said, picking up her cup of tea. "I'm awake. and in perfect fighting condition."

"That we are, nephew of mine. That we are." Keith nodded.

After breakfast, Robin finally caught a glimpse of Bastian coming back to the house, eyes red from staring at paperwork for so long.

"Were you out this entire time?" Robin asked, surprised.

"I had to ensure that everything would go smoothly for the next few years, so yes, I only just got home." Bastian said wearily. "Fest, it's to the point where your voice is starting to sound like Robin's."

"That's because it is Robin's" Fest replied evenly. "I did send you word that the Hero and his company stopped by for the night. Did you not get to it?"

"Er..it may have slipped my mind." Bastian replied, dazedly.

"No worries. We were just leaving." Robin waved. "You get some rest. You look like you could sleep a day and a night before returning back to your usual self."

"No, wait." Bastian returned to his carriage to grab something. "Here. This is for you." He handed Robin a letter. "From Emmeline, whoever that is. I never chalked you up as the pen pal sort, but it's clearly addressed to Hero Robin, so...." He yawned before heading back inside. He really was far too tired.

Robin looked at the letter, both curious and somewhat dreading at the same time. Well, if it was something about matchmaking, she could always just ignore it...Robin opened it.

----

It was surprisingly not about Robin at all.

'Dear Robin, I had a dream about Bluebell last night. Perhaps, you are curious about who she was before she became your mother. Regardless, I feel compelled to speak of this, and you were the first candidate. So consider yourself in luck~'

Robin blinked, and stood there in a daze. Everyone else was ready to leave, but she still stood there, reading the letter in her hands with increasing interest.

"Robin?" Christian asked, drawing her focus away from the letter in her hand. She looked up.

"It's time to leave." Christian reminded.

"...Right. Of course, of course." Robin got into the carriage, and sat down, continuing to read the letter not paying attention to anything going on inside the carriage at that time.