Chapter 29: Chapter 29: Wu Jinmai's feelings
Wu Jinmai's POV
I opened the door and got inside. I start fanning myself with my palm and walk back and forth.
I even breathe deeply until my cheeks puff and release it. I always do this when I'm frustrated or stressed.
"I can't believe him! That conversation was wasted for nothing! I'm just helping him!" I roared.
I raise my hands as I stomped my feet on the floor to release my anger. I continue walking back and forth and talking like a madman. I'm just really mad!
"Is it hard for him to tell me the truth?! If she likes this woman, then confess! Why do I have to deal with his tantrums?! If he wants Zhang Yihua, then I'll give her to him! My gosh! Men are complicated! I don't understand him at all!" I roared.
I turn around and freeze. My hands stayed in the air because I was stunned when I saw him. Shanguan Zu Jin was leaning his body against the door pane.
His arms were crossed, and his brow arched while looking at me. I laugh and clap my hands. When did he arrive? Did he hear everything that I just said to myself?
"A'Zu…" I murmur, laughing weirdly.
I brush my nape and can't look at him in the eyes. I am literally digging my tomb at this moment. From now on, I need to shut the hell out of me.
"It looks like you still have the energy to speak what's in your mind, your highness," he mutters.
I laugh, taking a step backward. I always do this when I know that I've made a mistake. I look at the door.
I take a step and run, but his strong arms catch me in a flash. He turned his body on his side and pulled me closer.
'What a cliché. What he did is what men do to their girlfriends, which I often see on TikTok and other social media platforms. I never thought I'd experience it!'
What makes it ironic is the fact that it isn't scripted. Shanguan Zu Jin wraps his hands around my waist and leans his body on me.
He even nestled his chin on my shoulder. "Li Susu…" he called.
I bite my lower lip. My heart is pounding, and it's making me terrified. If I don't stop myself from falling, I'm afraid he will be my greatest weakness. I'm afraid my heart will be broken again.
'Shanguan Zu Jin was in love with Zhang Yihua and Wu Jinmai. This face is what he wants. It's not me, Li Susu.'
"Uhm?" I simply replied.
"Look at me," he whispered huskily.
I close my eyes and calm myself. I look at him, acting cold and uninterested. "I want to ask you... What is the reason why you're interested in knowing which of them is what I want?" he asks. I turn my body and face him.
"Because I want to know which of them will be useful for me," I coldly reply.
He nodded, looking at me with such a mocking smile and suspicious eyes. I scoff.
"Are you accusing me that I'm jealous of Zhang Yihua and Wu Jinmai?" I questioned. He moves his face closer.
"It was you who said that, Li Susu. It's not me," he teases.
My cheeks turn red. I was embarrassed because of what I said. I scoff and look on the other side.
I even rolled my tongue inside my mouth, and I know he saw it in my cheeks. I glared devilishly.
"Hah! I would never! What are you, the prettiest man in the whole world? Tss, and so…?" I whisper the last two words, rolling my eyes.
He held my chin. "Wu Jinmai's charm was different when her dimples showed up. Li Susu, did you have the same feature?" Shanguan Zu Jin asks.
I was taken aback. I haven't noticed that dimple. I use the back of my palm and touch my cheeks.
"Uhm. I also have dimples," I replied.
"You want me to be honest when you can't do the same. Don't you think that's unfair, Your Highness?"
In the future, being a psychiatrist should be his job. He knows how to manipulate people. I grab his palm and take off my chin.
"As if you will be honest, A'Zu. I think I should've stuck with my proposal to the three of you. I better send a verdict in Zhang, Wei, and Yang's residences. They need to be your wives as soon as possible," I stated.
He frowns and holds my palm. He bites my index finger while glaring at me. "You better not send such a letter to the Zhang residence, or you'll know what Shanguan Zu Jin can do. Don't push your luck, your highness. I won't be too soft if you keep on making me mad," he warns.
I smirked and decided to tease him. "So you're in love with this face, hmm? From the beginning, you've been in love with Wu Jinmai! I knew it!" I exclaimed.
He bites my finger again. "Agh! That hurts!" I growled. He smirks. I gulp.
'Darn it! He's so beautiful and sexy when he does that!'
"You shouldn't rely on her memories when it comes to me. I don't think that I've wished to have a concubine. Your pretty head is worrying about things that shouldn't be," he mumbled.
He carried me, and we headed to his bed. He laid me down and pulled the blanket. I tried not to reach when he crawled on me and leaned on my upper body.
Shanguan Zu Jin was looking at me intently. My husband brushes the hair that sticks on my cheek.
"Forgive me if I yelled at you. I know my questions make you uncomfortable. I still forget that Wu Jinmai is no longer here," he apologizes. I raise my hand and caress his thick brows down to his nose bridge.
"You're forgiven. I need to apologize as well if I want to force you to be honest with me and tell me what you really feel." I stopped, smiling sadly.
"I know my words are harsh and inconsiderate. I just assumed that they would be effective for you. I'm still scared, Shanguan Zu Jin…"
I withdraw my hands and raise them. I look at my fingers and at the curtain that covers his bed.
"I wish I was reborn as an ordinary girl. An ugly girl helps her parents on the farm and lives peacefully. The palace, being an empress or an emperor, was terrifyingly lonely…" I continued. I turn my face again and meet his gaze.
"I was surprised, and the way you spoke a while ago... makes me feel like I was talking to the real Wu Jinmai. I was scared. I'm afraid that she will come back and suffer again. I know how lonely she is. That's the reason why she became a tyrant," he explains.
The sadness and pain in his eyes were deeper than I expected. He was watching her. Shanguan Zu Jin was aware of the empress's pain and suffering.
"That's why I had the courage to drug her and push her into the pond," he added. He finally admits it.
"Why didn't you tell her what you really felt? Has it ever occurred to you that she likes you? What if you stand beside her instead, A'Zu?" I whispered softly.
Gifts
-- Gift
received Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone