Chapter 995: A Lesson In Subversion

The slow crunch, and the sudden snap. 

No better pair of sounds to leave oneself sighing in frustration from their own sheer incompetence. Or at least I think they would be for anyone who'd found themselves sharing my current predicament—massacring whole families of tree branches. 

If there ever existed a literal Mother Nature, I'd be long disowned by her at this point. But now that I say that, there's bound to be one, isn't there? That's just how things work in this wacky world that is my reality. I'm already expecting to be lynched with grass by her in my sleep later tonight. 

For the time being, I might as well perfect the perfect stick while I'm still alive. 'Least then, it all would have been worth it, and I can then face the transgressions I made against the nice lady with a smile on my face. 

Figuratively speaking, of course.