The day after, I wake up sick.
Not literally of course; my Primal Energy won't let a single inch of sickness penetrate into my body. It's more of a…mental dissonance, if that's even a word. My mind remembers one thing, but it's experiencing something else entirely, and it's getting confused. It's somewhat like car sickness, just a hundred times worse.
And looking back, it makes sense. My entire body had essentially been destroyed and remade different. It might look the same, but there's a new well of energy coiling beneath my skin. A cold, unfeeling weight mixing with the plasma of my blood. My drunk brain hasn't had ample time to recognize that, and it's panicking.
Thankfully, I don't need to go to school today. Akeno had woken up, seen how terrible I looked, and immediately alerted everyone. The panic was a bit much—I hadn't gotten sick in years—but it's still appreciated. My mom called my teacher, said that I'll be sick for today, and that's that.
Which leaves me alone, in my room, nursing this terrible headache that's splitting my head in half.
I mean, it's not like I can use the 'Healing' Ofuda for this; although it doesn't mean that there aren't other choices I can turn to. I just prefer letting my brain do its own thing.
But that also means hours of being confined to this bed, unable to even move lest I make this headache even worse.
It leaves me a lot of time to think.
What do I do now? Our stint with the Five Principal Clans are over, but the aftermath is still there for me to deal with. What do I do with the 200 people I saved from Hanezu and his company? What about the clan members we saved before the carnage went down?
I have a number of ideas. None of them particularly elegant, all kind of a hassle, but all involving throwing Hanezu and his company under the bus. Just as a final goodbye to the group.
I laugh, and then wince when the headache turns for the worse.
There's a lot left for me to do. Things don't end once the villain in our story is defeated. The consequences remain, and the beginnings of the future are set. There's no suspicion on me and the Youkai for the moment, but that'll change soon enough.
The defeat of the Five Principal Clans-, no, my arrival has shifted things. The society that'd ground to a halt for hundreds of years has begun moving once more.
Akeno and my training under Yasaka and Nurarihyon hadn't just been for our sake. It'd been for theirs as well. They'd used our training as experiments, to see what works and what doesn't, and they compiled it and released it for the rest of Youkai society to freely use.
Of course, they won't be able to progress as quickly as we did; Primal Energy's a cheat and all, but they'll progress still.
I'm looking forward to seeing how things will grow.
…
It's only been an hour? Gods, I've already run out of things to ponder about.
I stifle back a groan as I roll to the side. I might not actually be sick, but I certainly feel sick. My neck feels warm, my joints feel raw, and the thin piercing sunlight coming through the window blinds make my eyes hurt. They're all imagined, my eyes supply, but it doesn't make them feel less real.
I try to think of more things to ponder about, but I come up with nothing. There isn't much to do at the moment. The Youkai are lying low for the time being, Akeno's old tormentors are gone, and Serafall hasn't informed me of when she's going to introduce the Devil heirs.
I'm just stuck waiting. It's a truly terrible feeling.
But,
But!
I smile, and I keep smiling despite the pain. This dark room of mine looks impossibly bright to my eyes, but I don't care. I force myself to look around, and I see this unassuming, normal room of mine.
And isn't that the best? I faced a fragment of a god, brought down an entire village, and I'm still here to think about it—to complain about it.
I'm not dead! Akeno's not dead! Not a single Youkai died!
I'm not dead. Akeno's not dead.
We're…alive.
Strange. What a simple phrase that is. Yet I can't stop thinking about it. What's so special about that? I'm alive. Akeno's alive. None of us will be passing to the beyond just yet. This treasure trove of a world isn't done with us just-
…Oh. We're alive, aren't we?
This world isn't done with us. I'm still here. My parents, my big sister, Akeno, Yasaka, Nurarihyon, Shikaku-
I can still meet them. Death hasn't taken me yet.
"I don't want to die." I croak out, coming to an epiphany I should've had a long time ago. Because I have people I care for. Because my duties aren't over. Because I mean something here.
I sink back into my pillow, and I just…exist. It's not some tremendous realization; I'd had the exact same one in my previous life. It's just that my previous world didn't present me with escalations of this scale.
So I place my hand over my eyes, and I smile. "Thank you." I say, both to the eyes burning in my sockets and to the ones who sent me here in the first place.
And for the first time,
「No, thank you.」I hear something say.
I shoot up, uncaring of the ringing pain I feel as I do so. I heard that. It was a voice reverberating in my head. Perfectly even in tone, but not robotic. Echoing, yet not encompassing.
The answer settles in me then, and a wonder-filled smile comes onto my lips. "Are you…the Eyes of God?"
I don't get a verbal answer this time, but I can feel its confirmation ring through my mind. "You can talk now?" I ask then.
「No.」It rings. I blink, confused.「Verbal communication is always possible. Host had lacked capability of withstanding information flow. Possible damage to Soul Structure noted. All communications sealed until now.」
That…is a lot. I understand most of it, but the way it talks, it's almost-
"Are you God?" I can't help but ask.
My head is silent for a few moments, before the answer comes.「Yes and No.」
I raise an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
More silence. It's almost as if the Eyes of God are building a unique question or something.「Host's inquiry is partially mistaken. True name is not 'Eyes of God'. Set name placed by previous host.」
I go still. Previous host. That's what my eyes had told me. There'd been a previous host before me, and that the 'Eyes of God' isn't its actual name. That can only mean one thing,
「Correct. Individual cataloged as 'YHWH' was the previous host. Fragment of previous Host personality stored in Database. Inaccessible for the moment. Possible damage to Soul Structure noted. Sealed until further development.」
My mouth is dry. The pain in my head feels far away. If that's true-, no, it is true. But that means that these eyes of mine…aren't Divine at all. They're something beyond that. Something that stands above even the one Christian God. "Then," I begin, my chest feeling heavy. "Who are you?"
Silence hangs, longer than ever before, before finally,
「Query denied. Host incapable of withstanding damage to Soul Structure. Answer temporarily locked in Database. Sealed under further development.」
I nod, already expecting that. I can't help but be slightly disappointed still. But hey, I'm not risking destroying my soul just to learn the answers this early on.
"I see." I say, feeling both relieved and heavy. "Mind telling me when I'm ready then? Even just knowing's making me all antsy."
「Affirmative. Alarm set.」
I smile, before I forcibly plant myself back onto my pillow. "Alright then, I'm gonna go to sleep." I say. Because if I don't, I'm going to stay up all day and night thinking about it. Better get some rest for now. "Good night. Or morning."
And just before my consciousness fully slips, I hear a gentle chime in my mind.
「Sleep well, Issei Hyoudou.」
Quick question: What do you think Primordial Gods look like? I've always pictured them as monolithic entities of mythic and technological creations for some reason.