Chapter 31: Chapter 31
Harry Potter + A song of Ice and Fire Crossover
Chapter 31
It was a letter that Lily wanted to burn.
She had burned numerous missives throughout her two lives, all of them for different reasons and different motives but she wished to burn Lysa's letter for an entirely different purpose.
The pain was practically bleeding through the words and Lily was struggling to keep her grip on the parchment as her eyes blankly scanned the page again, all while straying back to the single line at the very top just under her own name.
The gods have cursed me…..
Lily didn't believe in Westeros' Seven, except for perhaps the Stranger, but he must have existed across all platitudes and plains of existence, he would not be unique to this country or this world alone. Death was friends with Time and Fate after all and when they all worked in tandem, the effect was startlingly visceral.
She pressed the heels of her palms to her eyes and leaned forward until her elbows were resting on her knees. Thank Merlin she was alone in her chambers so that she might be able to fall apart privately. No one needed to see her grief right now, least of all Elia. There had been far too much of it lately.
Right now all Lily wanted was to cry and then to think because as therapeutic as weeping was, no resolutions were reached once one was in the middle of it.
So she did, she ensured that the door was locked although thankfully it was nighttime so she didn't have to worry too much about anyone coming in and then sat down in front of the fire and wept. She wept for her sister and her sister's lost child who hadn't even had a chance to be named or to take their first breath.
She wept for Elia whose heart was broken from her husband's rejection and continued indifference. She wept for the two princesses who would have to grow up only knowing about their father.
She wept for Petyr and the wonderful friend she had once had in him and the loss of when it had all turned sour. She wept for the loss of his companionship and the wonderful times they had had together and she wept for the boy she had once known. In doing so, she also wept for Severus and all the mistakes that they had both made and would never get a chance to unmake.
She wept for her father even though her anger at him was still too great for words. She wept because he had lost his way after her mother had died, allowing himself to become cold and withdrawn and distant, focusing too much on reputation and not enough on family.
And finally, she wept for herself, caught up out of time and place in a land where she had had no choice but to adjust, missing everything that she had once known and held dear. She wept for Hogwarts and all of her friends, she wept for the things that would never be and she wept also for James and for Harry who she would never see again.
When she finally raised her head from her hands, she felt shriveled and cold, like a fruit that had been pressed far too hard for its juices and was now wrinkled and worn out. The letter from Lysa was still gripped tightly between her fingers and it was with some irony that Lily noticed the warped and faded spots in between the letters, as though her sister had wept when penning it.
She probably had.
Upon realizing that, Lily viciously flung the letter into the blazing fire, suddenly wanting it as far away from her as possible. Not only did she not want to risk keeping it for fear of someone else discovering what had happened to Lysa or where she was, she also didn't want to read the words anymore, didn't want another physical reminder of her sister's pain.
It wasn't as if she would forget what had been written however, certain phrases would be ingrained in her mind forever.
I must be cursed among women, surely the Mother has turned her back on me even though I never ceased to pray for the babe's wellbeing…..
Her sister had always had a way with words, but this time Lysa had used that talent to brutal effect when putting them to page.
I wonder what mother would say if she could see me now. Would she comfort me, or condemn me as a disgrace like Father did? Perhaps the most frightening thing in all of this is that I truly don't know sister. I don't know….and it scares me.
Lily shuddered as those words danced through her mind and she unconsciously leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her chest in some vain effort to keep herself together. Perhaps it was foolish, because she knew for how terrible she was feeling, it would be nothing compared to Lysa's heartbreak.
And that was truly the most devastating thing of all. Lysa hadn't viewed this child as a mistake or an abomination or the evidence of her own supposed loose morals. She had seen the babe as an extension of herself, someone to love and care for, who in time would become all that mattered to her in the world. She might have been holding onto the idea of becoming a mother and keeping a child in the hopes that Petyr would come back to her…but somehow Lily didn't think that was still the case.
She knew Lysa had given up her dream of being Petyr's wife, as difficult as that might have been but, the dream of being a mother had ended so abruptly that there was no grieving process. There had been no warning, no ominous chime of the bells or prophetic dream.
It was simply over and there was no one she truly trusted to comfort her with the ashes of what she had lost.
As a mother herself, who had also lost her child, though in very different circumstances, Lily could probably understand her sister the most in that moment, though she could never tell her how or why.
She wondered if the child had been a boy, someone who looked like her sister, maybe with a bit of Petyr about the eyes or in the smile….
The red head released a shuddering breath and got to her feet. With a wave of her hand, she added more logs to the fire and watched the blaze heighten after being fed. The tear tracks on her face still felt cold and she hastily scrubbed them away before turning back to the bath she had been about to take before she had read the letter.
The water was now cold and somehow Lily couldn't bring herself to heat it again. Taking any sort of comfort right now felt wrong. She knew that part of it was her own misplaced guilt.
Lysa should have been with me all this time. I should have asked Elia if she could come with me to King's Landing from the beginning. I should have kept her away from Petyr for as long as possible. I should have talked to father and asked him to send Petyr back to the Vale….anything but the status quo. If I had done certain things just a little bit differently, then maybe Lysa wouldn't be in so much pain.
And then she wanted to slap herself because she was making the situation about her and to continue to do so would be unbelievably selfish. Her guilt had no place here or anywhere at all. All that mattered was seeing to Lysa and her shattered heart.
Perhaps it is self-serving but I must confess this secret now because there is no point in carrying it any longer. I was entirely selfish in this endeavor, not just because of how it jeopardized my position with my own family or for how it caused me to harm myself emotionally, but because I think I was seeking something from it that I should not have. I was seeking love from Petyr and it broke me when I didn't receive it. I was seeking love and acceptance from father and it nearly cost me my sanity when he gave me exactly the opposite.
But mayhap the most painful realization of all was how I selfishly sought the love that I thought this child would give me. I convinced myself that I loved this babe and while I know that I did, I loved it for what I thought it would be able to give me. I had already lost Petyr and any chance for father's love and acceptance and pride.
In some ways Lily, I think I secretly thought that this child was my last chance for a love I wasn't sure that I would ever find from someone else, you, Cat, Ed and Axel and Uncle Brynden notwithstanding. I lost a parent's love, I lost a lover's love although I know now that I never truly had it. And now I've lost the love of my child as well. And I know that that child would have loved me unconditionally as I would have done for it as well.
And now all of it has turned to ashes, forcing me to admit to myself my utter emotional depravity in seeking something that I should have been able to provide for myself long ago, barring Petyr and a child and even father.
I simply wanted someone to love me….and the sheer pathetic nature of that realization leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth…..
Lily had read that passage no less than three times before she had tossed the letter into the flames, unable to look at it any longer.
Lysa's pain was palpable even from across the realm and what made it worse was that Lily couldn't refute her sister's introspection. The stark cold realism in those words spoke of nothing but painful truth.
Lysa had struggled with the concept of self love for as long as she could remember. Whereas she and Cat had had their own vivacious personalities, Lysa had been caught quite literally in the middle. Cat received the special attention because she was the oldest daughter and had the most expectation placed upon her to marry well and create alliances. Lily meanwhile had done everything possible growing up to differentiate herself from the other two, crafting the personality of a rebel, just as she had done before.
And where was Lysa? Why had she not been allowed to cultivate herself and to grow?
Or perhaps a better question was why she hadn't allowed herself to?
And now….now Lily feared that it might be too late.
She shed her clothes in a daze and waved her hand at the bath, heating up the water once more. After waiting a second, she stepped into it and sank down up to her shoulders, allowing the heat to obliterate the cold that had settled in her heart. Lily tipped her head back against the rim and closed her eyes, swallowing hard against another onslaught of tears.
She had already cried too much.
What Lysa hadn't acknowledged in her letter, but what Lily had seen all the same was that her sister was now terrified of the future….of what would become of her now. Her future was all but ruined in the eyes of the realm and even though few people knew about her situation, the Lannisters were among them. If they truly wished to, they could spread the truth to every corner of Westeros and there would be little that she could do to stop them.
In becoming with child, Lysa had all but sealed her future…and now even the child she had conceived wasn't enough to erase that.
Merlin, her sister truly had lost everything, father, Petyr, her child and her reputation and they were all things that Lily wasn't certain that her sister would be able to get back.
Reputation in this country was unfortunately everything and even though Lily would never think less of her sister, there would be others who would, and who would never think twice about using it against her.
She knew that Lysa would be allowed to stay in Sunspear for as long as she wished and while that might do her good now, there would come a time when she would need to face her demons. She couldn't remain locked away forever.
Lily knew she wouldn't let her.
Her sister had too much to offer the world as a person to remain a pariah.
Nor for that matter did she want Lysa believing she was almost utterly unlovable when the exact opposite was true. She just couldn't see it right now.
But Lily could. She could see that her sister had a desperate desire to be happy and she wasn't strong enough in her belief in herself yet to be able to be happy on her own. And there was only so much Lily as her sister could do.
She couldn't give her sister the kind of acceptance that Lysa needed. The kind of acceptance that she required both as a person, and as a woman, someone to tell her that she wasn't ruined and would love her in spite of the things she had done and the mistakes that she had made and even her own lack of belief in herself, someone who could tell her about her own self worth.
But maybe Elia knew someone who could.
She blinked as she sat up in the tub and thought about that for a moment. Lysa would no doubt have little desire to marry now and given all that had happened, their father had practically disowned her anyway. Therefore, time would now be on her side and it was the one thing that Lysa needed.
Lily's eyes narrowed as she considered ways that might help her sister get both what she wanted and allow her to come up from this crushing depression that had her in its grip.
She didn't want to force her sister to marry but it was clear that Lysa needed the absolution of a partner who would be able to convince her sister's shattered heart to heal again and love her the way a woman deserved to be loved, someone who didn't care about her questionable decisions and who wouldn't expect more from her than she was able to give.
There had to be someone.
She made a mental note to ask Ashara about it, under the guise of seeking out a potential match for Ed who even though he was two years younger, would no doubt find himself in a betrothal contract before long.
Yes….this might work.
And it would be a distraction for her to focus on someone else's problems rather than those of the capital.
It had been months since Harrenhal and yet the whispers had not ceased. Prince Rhaegar's continued long absences from the capital only fed the rumor mill and not for the first time was Lily glad that the Lannister's had vanished because if she had to hear more from that vicious harpy Cersei, the red head was certain she would have hexed the girl within an inch of her life.
Feeling marginally better than she had since she entered the bath, Lily got out and dried herself vigorously.
Even though she couldn't solve Elia's problems, she could at least attempt to solve her sister's.
Lysa deserved that and much more. She deserved every happiness that this life could give her and Lily intended to ensure that she had it.
After all, it would do her own mind good to focus on something…anything other than the events taking place in King's Landing.
Ω
One month later…
"How are you feeling?" Ellaria asked in a soothing voice. It startled her companion slightly because it was a tone so seldom used by the other woman.
Lysa took a breath and thought about that as the two walked through the gardens arm in arm. It had been two fortnights since her dreams had come crashing down and the last piece of Petyr that she had been holding on to had slipped away from her. It had been two days before she felt strong enough to leave her bed and almost a week before she felt ready to walk through the gardens and feel the sun on her face.
Smiling had been difficult, she had lacked energy and the desire to even talk to people much less keep up with the discussion she had had before or spend time with Oberyn's daughters.
It wasn't until Tyene had climbed into her lap one evening while she was sitting by herself in the Water Gardens that Lysa had realized exactly what she had needed. She had needed a small warm body to cuddle, a child who didn't avoid her because they were worried about being able to manage her grief. She had needed someone to pull her along and forcibly out of the funk she had been in after her child had become nothing more than a memory.
Tyene didn't settle for her half hearted excuses and the little blonde demanded that Lysa come and play with her sisters and she didn't care about Lysa's lack of energy or slow pace. She wanted to be entertained and adored and Lysa, even though she wasn't sure she was capable of it, wanted to give it to her.
And so, for the three weeks following the loss of motherhood, the red head had forced herself to get out of bed, look for Oberyn's daughters and spend as much time as possible because by the end of the day, she was so tired it was too hard to think about the past, or the future, really anything other than putting her head to pillow.
It was something she was grateful for.
More than that though, being around those beautiful children, seeing their smile and their boundless energy, their insatiable curiosity and wild imaginations….Lysa almost felt like one of them. Children dreamed so big, for them nothing was impossible and sadness was but a moment for those little girls.
Lysa found herself invested in their care and their playtime, completely uncaring how odd it might have looked to an outsider. In some ways, she was certain she had spent more time with the girls in those last few weeks than their father did.
And she was healing because of it.
"I'm…..better," she said softly, surprised that she could say that and mean it. "There are times when….I still think about….everything that might have happened. But its….easier to let those thoughts go now. I'm finding it more helpful to be present instead of becoming absorbed in wishful thinking."
Ellaria looked pleased. "That's good. I am happy you have made it this far so soon. I know many women who aren't the same after losing a child. I know it took me a long time to feel alright again."
Lysa blinked and nearly stumbled. "You?"
Ellaria fixed her with another smile, though this one was tinged with sadness. "It was a few years ago. Before Tyene came to live with us and Nym and Obara were just babies. I hadn't been with child for very long but Oberyn and I were both overjoyed with the news. Granted I was also not as far along as you were, but when my moonblood came…..I was devastated. I didn't want to leave my chambers or even be around my potions, even see anyone. The only thing that managed to pull me out of it were the two small girls who I now consider my daughters. They just demanded care and attention and never allowed me too much time to think about what had happened and it turned out that that was exactly what I needed. Through them I was able to accept what had happened and remember that there were still people that loved me and needed me around, despite the fact that my child no longer did. I think that was when I first realized I needed to open myself up to love again, because the loss of my child had caused me to close myself off."
She had never spoken so seriously with the second Tully daughter before and Lysa found herself simultaneously shocked and touched. It spoke volumes of their relationship that the Dornish woman trusted her with this sensitive information.
Not for the first time did Lysa feel a rush of gratefulness that the princess and her sister had conspired to send her here. Dorne had been the right place for her to hide out and now she was beginning to see a future there, with or without someone by her side.
She remembered her sister's letters and words of encouragement and sighed, mentally tucking the information away. "Thank you Ellaria."
"For what?" the other woman asked curiously.
The red head fixed her with a small but genuine smile. "For being my friend. I don't know….for just being here. It's nice to have someone near enough to my own age to talk to who isn't going to judge me. My sister never did but she's in King's Landing and…well, communication can be difficult to come by sometimes, especially given the amount of ravens that are flying."
The other woman's expression noticeably cooled. "Yes, the implications have been….concerning to say the least."
Lysa shuddered when she considered what the princess must be dealing with on a regular basis. It occurred to her that now she and Elia had something in common. Both of them had been rejected by the men they had loved. It was a parallel that was thoroughly abhorrent and yet share it they did.
Although Lysa' humiliation, she was willing to bet, had absolutely nothing on the princess's. She quickly cut off that line of thinking before it led her down an uncomfortable thought.
"If I was in the same room with that man I would not hesitate to cut off his manhood," Ellaria hissed and it was a credit to Lysa's constancy that she didn't flinch at the viciousness she felt from the brunette.
"I don't doubt it," she said softly. "I might do the exact same thing if I saw Petyr again."
The paramor flashed her a deadly smile. "Perhaps if I ever have reason to travel north, I will find him and do you a favor my friend."
Lysa smiled a bit before she could stop herself and then felt a bit sick. She had never wished harm to come to Petyr throughout this whole incident and in some ways she still didn't, but she felt warmer now that there were other people watching out for her.
And speaking of other people….
"Isn't Prince Oberyn due to arrive again today?" she asked curiously. The Red Viper had disappeared a few weeks ago and the Lord of Sunspear had been surprisingly tight lipped about his brother's whereabouts.
Strangely enough, it was a few days after her miscarriage.
"He is," Ellaria said, interrupting her thoughts. "He had gone to visit a friend of his, Ryon Allyrion. It was Doran's idea, Oberyn has been….on edge ever since Harrenhal and the prince thought it best for his brother to blow off some steam before he was tempted to try anything…rash."
Rash certainly did describe Oberyn Martell but in this case Lysa thought any of his actions might be perfectly justified. She didn't say that though.
"No wonder he and Lily go along so well when they met at the wedding," she muttered to herself smirking a bit.
"Tell me about your sister," Ellaria said curiously as they paused to sit by one of the Water Garden's many pools. Like the others it was covered in lilies and the red head could see brightly colored fish darting about beneath its surface.
"Lily….is as different from myself and Cat as night is from day," Lysa began, chuckling at how apt a description that was. "Of the three of us, Cat was always the lady, so prim and proper, eager to please and be exactly like our mother. I tried to keep up, but I always felt as if I were just one step behind, always. That was only exacerbated after she died."
She paused here and smiled. "But Lily….she went out of her way to set herself apart from the moment she could walk. She has the biggest temper, but also the biggest heart. She's stubborn and willful, completely apathetic to the opinions of others and incredibly loyal, to her family and to her friends. When she has it in her mind to fight for a cause, she will move heaven and earth to do so and she's utterly courageous."
Lysa blinked when she finished, never realizing how much esteem she held her sister in and flushed nearly as red as her hair.
Naturally the paramour picked up on. "You sound like you admire her a great deal."
"I do," Lysa said softly, though her admiration also had a bit to do with her sister's strange magic, something she couldn't very well tell Ellaria about. "I think I've always admired her bravery the most. She genuinely doesn't care whether she steps on anyone's toes and is brash almost to the point of foolishness. Granted she's never gotten herself into a problem that she couldn't get herself out of, but I always do wonder."
"Seven hells, if I didn't know any better with your coloring and all, I would have thought that Elia and Lily might have been switched at birth," Ellaria chortled. "Lily would make a fine Martell."
"She would at that," Lysa smiled. "And something tells me that the princess would have done well in the Riverlands."
"She's too sweet for that capital," Ellaria said tightly, her mood changing on a dime. "I knew this wasn't a good idea from the moment the king's letter came, but as always, one cannot refuse a king."
"Not unless you have more power than he," the red head said softly and wanted to flinch when the other woman looked at her in surprise. "What an odd thing to say…but certainly not untrue. Have you thought much on the concept of power?"
Lysa blinked as the conversation turned again. "More so than I ever have before I think. It would be hard not to when what little I had has been taken away from me. I knew I would always be at my father's mercy when it came to my life but he has made it glaringly clear how much he was prepared to take from me. It's one of the reasons why I am certain that I will never able to go home. If my family wishes to see me, they will have to come here."
Ellaria hummed but otherwise said nothing and Lysa was grateful for it. She didn't want to dwell to much on how her father had driven her out. That would be a train of thought she would follow only late at night when there was nothing to distract her from her own mind.
"Well, I wouldn't say you're powerless," Ellaria was saying and her friend forced herself to tune back in. "You have a great deal more power here than you would anywhere else."
"How's that?" Lysa asked wryly. "I am a guest in your home. Though Sunspear is beautiful and I don't want to go anywhere else right now, I know that I here on the designs of someone else, no matter how well intentioned."
A shrewd look passed over Ellaria's face, causing Lily to frown. "Well, what if you were to meet someone here? Someone you really liked who would love you and be able to support you."
Lysa laughed but there was no mirth in it. "I forfeited that fairytale when I gave myself to a man who barely warrants the name. I am damaged goods Ellaria, no man will want me now."
Beside her, her friend snorted. "Nonsense. That is as far from the truth as Sunspear is from the Wall, you and I both know it. You just lack the will to see it right now. Dorne is full of highborn lords who would jump at the chance to marry the daughter of a Lord Paramount."
She held up a hand when Lysa made to interrupt. "I know what you're going to say and its not true. Not only are you still desirable, I can think of quite a few lords off the top of my head who wouldn't hesitate to consider you as a wife, several of whom have a disposition that I think you would find agreeable."
"Ellaria, please tell me you are not trying to play matchmaker," Lysa half groaned, sinking her face into her hand. "I don't think I'm ready for something like that."
"Not ready, or are you just afraid?" the paramour asked softly. "Because no one is ever not ready for love. But fearing it, is something entirely different."
"Have you been spending time with Maester Myles?" Lysa joked weakly. "Surely that would be something he would say."
"Perhaps," the brunette conceded. "But it doesn't mean that neither he nor I are wrong. What scares you about meeting and marrying someone now?"
Lysa stared into the pool, trying to put her thoughts into words. "Perhaps it is because I fear that when someone sees me….all of me….I will be rejected as I have been before."
"You are lonely," Ellaria said, much more gently than Lysa had thought her friend capable of. "I think you should ask yourself my friend what it is that you fear more. The loneliness or the rejection."
Lysa blinked at the surprisingly introspective comment and was about to respond when all of a sudden, footsteps on the garden path caught her attention.
Ellaria looked up first and her breath caught in delight, forcing Lysa to do as she had done. A moment later, she smiled softly.
Coming down the stone path toward them was a very familiar prince, dressed in his usual saffron and copper colored tunics with his hair slightly tousled. His dark eyes sparkled with amusement and his grin was almost feral when he took in Ellaria, which caused a blush to rise in Lysa's cheeks.
What would it be like to be desired that much by another?
She quickly averted her eyes when the pair met in a passionate embrace and focused her attention on one of the flowers poking out through the stones near her foot. Dorne had so many beautiful flowers that she had never seen in the Riverlands and the one was particularly diverting.
It was a royal blue and possessed seven large and elegant petals, each about the length of her finger. Its center was a pale grey, almost a silver and it came up nearly to her knee. It was a testament to her fascination with the bloom that she was somehow able to block out the sounds of Ellaria and Oberyn in the background.
But not the voice that spoke next.
"It's called Nymeria's Arrow."
Lysa started slightly, turning towards the unfamiliar voice and then found herself blinking in surprise.
Standing before her was a young man that she had never seen before. He was fairer than she might have expected a Dornish man to be. He had long thick dark brown curls that brushed his collar and he was attired in a curious combination of red, black and yellow garments that might have looked strange on someone on else, but seemed to suit him. His features were high and aristocratic, accompanied by a full mouth and straight nose that seemed to align with his face perfectly. There was a dusting of stubble on his cheeks and chin, just long enough to give the appearance of unkemptness but in a rather pleasing manner.
But it was his eyes that caught Lysa's attention the most. They were large, and a very dark brown, the color of ale over ice but filled with a warmth that seemed both gentle and smoldering.
Something that Lysa had long since thought dead fluttered in her stomach and she was torn between being flustered and horrified.
"Is…Is it?" she managed, cringing at how her voice emerged from her throat sounding strangled. "I've never seen then before."
"I don't imagine you would be seeing as how they're native to Dorne," the young man said, still sounding amused. His voice was low and rich, reminding her of hot tea and honey and she gripped her hands tighter, suddenly wishing she could hide them in her sleeves, and cursing the sleeveless dress she was wearing.
Ellaria had taken one look at the wardrobe she had brought with her and immediately commissioned new clothes to be made that would be more "fetching" on her.
As such, she was now attired in a sleeveless blue dress with straps that wrapped beneath her arms and crisscrossed against her shoulder blades, leaving her back entirely open. It was far more revealing than anything Lysa had ever worn before but Ellaria had insisted, saying that the color would frame her skin perfectly.
Her skin that was now no doubt turning as red as her hair beneath the young man's gaze.
But though the look in his eyes was appreciative and flirtatious, his gaze never left her face, something for which Lysa was subtly grateful. She wasn't quite sure she was ready to be looked at as desirable, having never been regarded as such before.
Her mouth turned down a bit and she turned back to the flower. "It's just as well I suppose. These flowers wouldn't have done well in the north."
"Perhaps not," he said, bending and before she could stop him, he had carefully plucked the flower from its odd placement and held it out to her with a flourish. "But I can certainly see it finding its place with you."
Now she knew she was blushing as red as her hair.
Gingerly, she reached out and took the blossom, knowing it would be impolite to refuse and he had been nothing but friendly.
"Allow me to introduce myself," he said with a small smile as soon as the stem was between her fingers. "My name is Ser Ryon of House Allyrion. I'm a friend of Prince Oberyn's, I'm here at the request of Prince Doran's."
His smile was making it a bit difficult to focus and Lysa clamped down on her nerves. "Lysa Tully, I'm here at the behest of Princess Elia's."
His grin widened, almost dazzling her and she swallowed hard. A moment later her reached for her hand, pressing a soft kiss against the knuckles and Lysa gritted her teeth, although from what emotion, she couldn't name.
"A pleasure my lady," he said softly. "How long will you be staying in Dorne?"
Lysa tried not to blanch as she thought of her reason for being here in the first place. "As long as the Lord of Sunspear will have me."
To her relief he smiled at that. "Then seeing as how our hosts are a bit occupied, shall we take a walk? I wouldn't mind getting to know you better."
Subtlety must have been a trait lacking in all men from Dorne but at the moment, Lysa couldn't bring herself to mind. At the moment, she was hyperaware of the fact that Oberyn and Ellaria were still locked in a passionate embrace behind her and the desire to get away from them and the second hand awkwardness suddenly became overwhelming.
She glanced back at them quickly and then grimaced, looking away. "Lead the way my lord."
His answering laugh brough at smile to her lips and before she knew it, he had taken her hand and was leading her in the opposite direction.
It wasn't until they were out of sight that Ellaria pulled away from her lover and smirked at where they had been standing.
"You little minx," Oberyn said huskily near her ear, a sound that caused gooseflesh to race up the side of her neck. "You knew that would happen didn't you?"
"She had to get out of her shell sometime my love," the brunette whispered back. "I happen to think your friend Ryon will be good for her."
Playing matchmaker was something entirely too familiar to Ellaria and the moment Doran had casually mentioned Oberyn going to Godsgrace, she had conspired for a way to set her friend and Ryon up. He was older than Lysa at three and twenty but his presence had always been a stabilizing one. He was nowhere near the flirt that her lover was he had just enough of a virile quality to him that would be perfect for Lysa.
She smirked to herself. I'm doing this for your own good my friend. You'll thank me one day.
Ω
It was a very dark night when Lily realized she needed to talk to someone. She knew she was feeling lonely given that Ashara had been recalled to Dorne by her family just days earlier and Elia was seeming to regress to a very quiet state that certainly wasn't her fault, but it ensured that she wasn't fit for conversation.
That made for very few people she could converse with. Oddly enough, the only other person was Jaime Lannister who Lily had a strange relationship with. They had spoken several times since she had returned from the harbor with the wine and Lily could see more and more of Sirius in him every time they did, making her both curious and wary.
In an odd way, she wanted to get to know him better, but was still unsure of his family leanings.
Perhaps that was why her curiosity was stronger than her wariness however. Sirius' family had characteristically dark leanings, but he had turned to the right side.
She blinked those thoughts away before her mind took her down a dark rabbit hole.
Lily knew she could return and talk to Cat, but she knew her sister would press her for information about Lysa and the elder girl didn't know about the miscarriage yet. Lily didn't want to be the one to tell her.
But there was one person she could talk to, someone who, while he didn't know about her magic, was always open and honest with her and someone she was beginning to trust as a shoulder to lean on when she just needed to talk.
With that decided, Lily prepared to go to the Vale.
Thankfully, the Red Keep was quiet at this time and the red head had long since bade the princess goodnight, giving her more than enough time to go to the Eyrie and back before she was noticed.
Granted, once she found Elbert, this would call for an explanation, but at this point, it was one she was prepared to give. They were to be married in a year or two. And Lily knew that if she was to begin to love the man that would be her husband, she would need to begin to trust him with things close to her heart.
She just hoped that he would be able to handle it.
And so, after donning a cloak and pulling the hood up, Lily spun on her heel, intending to vent as much as she could before dawn came.
Please let him be here.
That was Lily's only thought as she glanced around the Eyrie's godswood. She had spent quite a bit of time there on her last trip and knew it well by now. It was where she had spent part of her mornings and most evenings because of how peaceful it was. Even now, the tall grasses and shrubs were waving gently in the evening breeze and the statues had taken on even more of a white glow than they did in daylight.
Often times he had found her there and sometimes it was the other way around, but each time, either he or she had always been alone.
Lily was counting on that now as this conversation couldn't afford an audience.
And fortunately it seemed that luck was on her side.
The blonde head of Elbert Arryn gleamed in the full moon's pale light as he sat on one of the benches a few feet away. There was a torch fastened to the stone wall behind him and he was hunched slightly, reading from a book in his lap.
His studiousness caused Lily to smile even though it was tinged with sadness. Already she was regretting what she had come here to ask.
She had used magic to conceal her presence before she had left King's Landing but the crack of her arrival caused him to look up as though startled.
"Hello?" Elbert called softly into the lingering twilight of the garden. "Is someone there?"
Lily took a deep breath, knowing this was her last chance to back out but knowing that she couldn't in good conscience do so.
So she released the breath in a rush and dropped the spell concealing her. "Hello my lord. It's good to see you."
The blonde blinked and stared at her as if she were a ghost made flesh before jumping to his feet. "Lily?! Seven hells, what are you doing here? How are you here?"
She smiled faintly at him before stepping forward and placing a hand on his shoulder and gently guiding him back to a sitting position. "That's a long story, and I promise that I will tell you all of it. But….might I sit down first?"
Elbert blinked almost comically for a minute before he all but sprang to his feet and offered her his hand. "Of course! Please, come join me."
Lily took another deep breath and sank down next to him. She felt him reach out and carefully take her other hand and the gesture made her smile. Even now with how they were coming to care about one another, he was always so tentative when it came to her, sensitive to her needs and thoughts without ever having to say a word.
That simple gesture alone was enough to convince Lily that she was doing the right thing by coming here. He would be one of the few people that she knew she could trust absolutely anything to. Even her heart.
It was nice to finally be assured of that.
"What is it?" he asked softly and she took a deep breath. "It's nothing really. I just…..wanted to see you. It's been a while and sometimes….well let's just say that letters can't really compare to the real thing."
The blonde blinked in surprise for a moment before smiling very gently and leaning forward so that his forehead was lightly pressed to hers. "I've missed you too. Believe me, if my uncle could spare me, I would like nothing better than to be by your side. If it didn't border on inappropriate or bar your duties to the princess, I would ask that you stay here with me."
Lily was glad that the darkness hid her blushing cheeks. Elbert certainly seemed to have gotten a bit bolder since the last time she had seen him.
"Well," she said, his forwardness prompting a bit of her own confidence. "It won't be long my lord before I am in permanent residence here. You will not be able to get rid of me then."
She nearly started when he released her hands and brought them up so that they might rest on either side of her face. He pulled back gently so that he might look into her eyes which had gone navy and silver in the pale light of the torches, his expression turning to one of utter earnestness. "I would never want to."
Lily sighed and closed her eyes, fighting off the building desire to just melt into his arms. "Good, because I am beginning to believe that there are far better places than King's Landing to be."
Elbert stiffened for a moment and his eyes narrowed slightly. "Has something happened? Have you been harmed in any way?"
His concern was beyond endearing and not for the first time did Lily marvel at how lucky she had gotten. "No, and you know I would be able to handle myself otherwise."
The concern abated some, though he still looked worried. "I am more preoccupied with ensuring that you don't have to be in a position like that in the first place. You would tell me if you were wouldn't you?"
"Of course," Lily said softly. "And you know I care little for reputation. If something happened to threaten my safety in the capital, I would leave immediately, return home for a while and then come here. At least here I will be guaranteed no small amount of peace."
Her words were meant partially in jest but as soon as she uttered them, Elbert stiffened slightly and released a sigh that seemed to come from somewhere deep in his chest.
Now it was her turn to frown. "Is everything alright?"
Elbert shook his head slightly and then ran a hand through blonde locks that, upon further inspection, looked a bit unruly. He was always so well put together that Lily couldn't help but wonder what had caused the sudden change. And when she looked closer, it was clear that there were dark bags under his eyes.
The concern faded in favor of full on worry. "Elbert…..what's going on. You don't look like you've been getting much sleep and you appear more worried than I've ever seen you."
The heir to the Vale cast a glance at the castle behind them and then sighed deeply again, his shoulders sagging with the release. He closed his eyes for a moment as if debating with himself before some internal resolution was reached and he opened them again. "Lily, if I tell you something…..you must promise me that word of it will never pass your lips until I've given you leave. Can you do that for me?"
The red head hesitated. Despite her trust in him, she couldn't just blithely offer promises that she didn't know the context of. "Will it put you in harms way?"
His responding shake of the head was a relief. "No."
She paused, searching his face carefully. "Will it put someone else in harm's way….someone…here perhaps?"
His silence was all the answer that she needed but before she could respond with more questions, Elbert stopped her by seizing her hands once more. "Lily the information I wish to share with you is of both a politically and socially sensitive nature. It could ruin a reputation and….cause more upheaval than the realm needs to deal with."
And now she was downright alarmed. "The realm?! What could possibly be so bad here that it would cause problems for Westeros?"
His tired expression did nothing to comfort her. But it was the whispered words that came next that absolutely floored her. "It's Ned's sister Lyanna…..she's gone missing."
Ω
Well, here it is! I promised you guys a rewrite and I'm actually a bit more happy with how this turned out than I thought. A bit of background first though. In canon Ryon Allyrion is married to Ynys Yronwood but since their house didn't play much of a role in the general storyline, I didn't have a problem with splitting the two of them up in favor of Lysa. I'm not entirely sure how old Ryon is at this point in time but I know that he did have a bastard son named Daemon who squired for Oberyn and accompanied him to King's Landing for Joffrey's wedding. So I think it's safe to assume that he's still a young man at this point. I had to make up a lot of his personality because very little is written about them because they were a minor house. Ah well, that's the beauty of fanfiction I suppose.
Also, FINALLY THE WAR HAS ARRIVED! I can't tell you how much torture it was having to write the events leading up to it for the sake of character development and drama, but nevertheless, we are here now and much pain is in the works for the next chapters so in words of the immortal Stanley Tucci "Alright everyone, gird your loins!"
Lol, don't forget to review and I'll see you next time!
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