Chapter 7: Valentine's Day: Part 2
Even though Shinji had been eager for the school day to end, he felt a distant stab of nerves rise in him as the bell rang and everyone began to pack up their things. He stood, swinging his bag over his shoulder, looking distractedly out the window. He could already see people walking from the school building, and his eyes roved over the crowd as he drummed his fingers on his desk. How many of those students would be in the audience later tonight?
He tried to figure how many people were likely to be in the crowd. Sure, musical performances weren't the most popular thing at this school, but thanks to Kaworu's popularity, he knew that the turnout was bound to be pretty large. He was just in the middle of wondering if any teachers were going to be there, when he felt a large hand rest on his shoulder. He jumped.
"All set to go home, Shinji?"
He turned to see Kaworu's eager face, and then he sighed, brushing his hand away. He pressed himself against the wall, allowing everyone who sat behind him to pass by.
"Actually, I've got some stuff I've gotta take care of before I can come back to your place," he said, walking forward to exit the classroom, Kaworu following close behind.
The pale boy hummed, sounding disappointed. "Oh, well, I wouldn't mind going with you, you know."
Shinji shook his head. "Really, Kaworu, it's fine. I won't take that long." He paused outside the classroom to look at him. "I'll meet you in like an hour, alright?"
Kaworu stared at him, pouting. Shinji gave him a stern look. "Oh, don't give me that, Kaworu. You can handle me being gone that long; It's not the end of the world."
He kept staring sadly, and Shinji almost wanted to simply walk away and leave it at that, but he didn't have the nerve to be that mean. Not on Valentine's Day, at least.
Although, he quite regretted not doing so as Kaworu came uncomfortably close, leaning down and cupping his face in his hands. "That's an hour less I get to spend in your presence. I already only have the afternoon to be alone with you; I just don't want to lose more time, Shinji."
Shinji quickly pushed him back, feeling his face redden as people cast them sidelong looks in passing. "K-Kaworu! We're in public, you can't just-!" He shook his head and sighed. "Whatever... stop being so dramatic, you'll see me again before you know it," he said dismissively.
He walked a few paces before his wrist was grabbed gently. He turned, trying with all his might to keep his voice free of exasperation. "Goodbye, Kaworu," he said firmly.
Kaworu looked on, before hesitantly releasing his wrist with a sigh. "Very well," he muttered, "I'll be waiting for you then, my dear."
Shinji's gaze softened at the sound of the pet name, but then he turned away for the last time, moving into the crowd filing towards the stairs. Of course he'd end up with the most clingy person imaginable...
Walking out into the day, Shinji made the familiar walk back to his house, thinking over what he'd have to get done before coming back to Kaworu's. All he really had to do was pick up the present he'd gotten along with the two suit jackets and button-ups he'd made sure to iron out for them; Kaworu was borrowing some of his own articles because he'd neglected to pick them up for himself, much to Shinji's irritation. Although, he thought, it was probably for the best. The button-up Kaworu wore everyday was always slightly wrinkled and covered in stray cat hairs, so he'd hate to think about what condition any nice dress clothes he bought would be in.
Besides those few items, he didn't necessarily need to bring anything else, although after thinking it over in class, he'd decided to make up for his less than stellar gift by stopping at the store. If there was anything Kaworu loved more than teasing him, it was eating his cooking, so he really didn't think he'd turn down an offer for dinner. It was about the next best thing he could give him.
As he walked down the aisles, he scrutinized the products, racking his brains for a good recipe. He could always go with something safe like teriyaki - Kaworu ate that stuff up like crazy - although he thought that maybe trying something new would be nice. He'd been wondering about making something European for a while now; Asuka just never stopped going on and on about how much better food was there than in Japan, and although Shinji was quite sure she was just being overly snobbish, he did think there was value in trying it out.
After pilfering through the magazine section, he came across a promising-looking recipe book, and he flicked through its pages. He ran a finger down one of them, thinking it looked simple enough, but still fun to make. It was a French steak dish, and although he had absolutely no idea how to pronounce its name, he was quite sure he'd heard Asuka mention it - or at least something like it before. He glanced down the ingredients list, biting his lip.
After he'd decided on some sides to go with it, he stood back up, dog-eared the page, and walked back along the aisles, gathering what he'd need. He tried moving quickly, not wanting to leave Kaworu waiting. He'd seemed so mopey when he'd left him earlier, and he didn't want to make him more unhappy, even if he was being overdramatic.
After paying, he left and finally made for Kaworu's place, experiencing a mild sense of déjà vu walking into his apartment complex with his hands full in chilly weather. The feeling intensified as he came upon the door and knocked with his foot.
Kaworu opened it surprisingly quickly - as if he'd been standing there waiting - and he couldn't seem to contain his smile as he locked eyes with Shinji. Before he could even get out a greeting, Kaworu tugged him in and clicked the door closed behind him.
Shinji opened his mouth to tease him for his eagerness, but before he could get a word out, Kaworu had forcibly pressed their lips together, backing Shinji up against the door.
Shinji squeaked, dropping his bags in surprise, eyes blown wide as Kaworu snaked his arms around his waist, holding their bodies together. He squirmed, then pulled his head back, trying to breathe.
"Kaworu, wh-?!" Shinji choked out, before his assailant interrupted him again, going in for more. Shinji felt himself automatically reciprocate, but then he resolutely pushed Kaworu back by the chest, breaking the messy, jumbled kiss.
"Wh-What even...?" he shook his head, breathing heavily. "You couldn't even manage a 'hello' first?!" he asked indignantly, wiping Kaworu's spit from his mouth, noticing how hot his face suddenly was.
Kaworu blinked back at him, arms still wound around his waist. "That wasn't an adequate enough 'hello?'"
Shinji made a face at him and shoved him back, picking up his dropped bags. He hoped the food wasn't ruined. "Just because it's Valentine's Day doesn't mean you can attack me like that, you creep." He came into the kitchen dropping off the groceries and muttered, "Learn some self-control..."
He heard Kaworu snicker in that familiar, teasing way. "It isn't my fault you're so tempting, Shinji." He walked into the kitchen behind him. "And what's this?" he asked smoothly, resting his chin on Shinji's shoulder, looking down at his hands as he pulled everything from the bags.
Kaworu hugged him from behind, and Shinji sighed, resigning himself to his clinginess. "It's dinner. I'm just prepping it now, but I'll cook it all later."
Kaworu smiled, nuzzling into his neck. "Oh, that sounds lovely," he said. Shinji tried to fight back from leaning his face into his partner's pillowy hair.
While Shinji seasoned the meat, Kaworu simply watched on, not bothering to give him any space. Shinji wearily kept his mouth shut, allowing himself to be held, although he felt his patience being strained.
Kaworu finally unwrapped himself as Shinji made to wash his hands. Shaking them dry, he turned back around as Kaworu tilted his head at him.
"All done?" he asked, leaning in.
Shinji leaned back, pushing the other boy's chest away as he affirmed the question.
Kaworu smiled widely, gently entwining their fingers. He tugged him out of the kitchen, walking backwards. "Then that means I can give you your surprise!"
Shinji blinked as Kaworu pulled him to the bedside, pushing him down to sit on its edge. "Surprise...?" Shinji asked as Kaworu put his hands on his knees, face merely a few inches from his.
"Mhmm," he smirked. "Sooo, close your eyes, Shinji."
Shinji gave him a suspicious look, but did as he was told. He heard Kaworu's footsteps grow distant, then the sound of something rustling. As Kaworu approached him again, he said, "Now, open your mouth."
Shinji furrowed his brow. "Wh-What? Why-"
"Come now, Shinji, just trust me," Kaworu persisted.
Shinji licked his lips, then blushed a little, opening his mouth. He flinched when he felt something fall onto his tongue, but then he bit into it, opening his eyes at the taste of chocolate.
Kaworu's smile widened, and he dropped a box of assorted chocolates on Shinji's lap. "Now it's my turn!" he said, lowering himself to eye-level. He closed his own eyes and opened his mouth eagerly.
Shinji felt his heart skip a little. "G-God, you're so embarrassing..." he said, face turning red as he picked up a chocolate, hesitantly feeding it to him. As Kaworu chewed it satisfactorily, eyes still closed, Shinji added, "Making me feed you is a pretty weird surprise. I don't think you really get this whole gift thing..."
Kaworu opened his eyes, swallowing the chocolate. "I was only trying to romance you a little before I gave you the real surprise. Here we are!" he said excitedly, pulling something from behind his back.
Shinji blinked as Kaworu held out a sizeable gift bag, pink and red wrapping tissue sticking out of its top. "Happy Valentine's Day, my darling," he said warmly.
Shinji heard himself stutter stupidly, sliding the chocolates off his lap to take the present. Kaworu sat down beside him as he rested it on his legs. "O-Oh, wow, Kaworu this is..." he trailed off shaking his head. "I mean, I wasn't expecting anything this... big," he shrugged.
Kaworu smiled, looking thoroughly pleased. "Oh, really, it's nothing. If I could properly express just how much I appreciate you, this bag would be far larger," he leaned to him. "It's the least I can do... and in any case, you haven't even seen what's in it yet."
"Right..." Shinji said, feeling heat prickle over his face. With Kaworu's gift in his lap, he felt even more embarrassed about his own present, which was considerably smaller. Now he really wished he'd splurged a bit more.
Pushing the thought from his mind for a moment, he began pulling out the tissue, finding a strangely light, soft package.
"Go onnn," Kaworu urged, looking beyond giddy.
Shinji smiled a bit as he unwrapped the item. Then he froze, blinking down at it, mouth open. It was a plush doll, one which bore an unmistakable resemblance to...
"M-Me?" he said, holding it in front of him. Its little body was made of a tan, soft fabric, covered by the smallest school uniform Shinji had ever seen. He ran a finger over its face, looking at its dark blue, dot eyes, little black smile, pink, cutout cheeks, and the tiny triangular cuts of dark brown fabric for bangs.
Kaworu rested his head on his shoulder, looking down at the doll too. "I made it for you," he murmured happily. "Hikari-san is quite good at sewing. She showed me how to make the body and the clothes."
"S-Seriously? You made this yourself?" Shinji asked.
Kaworu pulled back to look sideways at his expression, and nodded. "Do you like it?" he asked softly.
Shinji felt himself smile. "Yeah... of course I like it... it's really cute." He sighed, turning the doll over, looking at the two little bits of fabric sewn to the top of his head. "You put so much effort into this... thanks a lot, Kaworu," he said.
Kaworu made a happy little sound of contentment, hugging Shinji tightly, who returned the motion. "It's because I love you so very much. I hoped you'd like it." He rested his head in the crook of Shinji's neck. "I'll be sad to see it go. I liked snuggling with it."
Shinji held the doll to his chest, heart melting at the image of Kaworu hugging it to sleep. "Then, I'll make sure to take good care of it," he said. He punctuated the statement by turning to kiss his cheek, figuring that he should be showing him more love than usual, though he felt embarrassed doing it.
Kaworu happily rubbed at the spot Shinji kissed, looking sappy. After a moment, however, his gaze flicked down to the bag, and he looked excited again.
"There is more in there, you know," he said eagerly. Shinji looked down at the bag again, feeling its weight. He carefully laid the doll down on the bed next to his thigh and made to remove more paper.
"Really, Kaworu, you didn't have to get me so much... I would've been happy with just those chocolates," he muttered, finally grasping the second item. It too was plush and soft.
Kaworu waved away his words effortlessly. "Yes, yes, I know, but I just couldn't help myself," he said, and Shinji thought he heard a teasing undertone as he looked down at the bag again. Then Shinji pulled out the second item.
He unfolded it, blinking in surprise. It was a pale, honey-colored hoodie with the logo of a familiar fashion brand stamped across it in white, but that wasn't what struck Shinji as odd. As he held it up, he immediately noticed just how big it was. It had to have been at least two or three sizes larger than him.
"Umm... Kaworu, don't you think this is a bit much? I mean, it's really soft and nice and everything, but this definitely isn't my size..."
Kaworu's smile widened. "Oh yes, I know; it's most definitely too big for you. That's precisely why I got it."
Shinji looked at him confusedly dropping the hoodie onto his lap.
Kaworu leaned in, that familiar teasing glint in his eye. "I could barely handle thinking about how snuggly and adorable you would be in that hoodie." He smirked as Shinji opened his mouth. "I really couldn't help myself."
Shinji blushed. "K-Kaworu, come on, seriously?" he said. "I can't wear this... it'll just look stupid on me!"
Kaworu's expression didn't change. "Oh, that isn't true. I'd never get you something that would make you look stupid."
Shinji uncertainly rubbed the fabric as Kaworu whined a little. "Oh, please, darling, will you at least try it on for me? Pretty pleaseee?"
Shinji sighed heavily, pushing Kaworu back. "F-Fine... just don't laugh or anything," he mumbled, scrunching up the bottom to slip his arms in.
As he tugged his head through, he stood, straightening it out, swallowing as he realized the hem almost reached his knees. The sleeves fell far past his hands, and he had to shake them back so that he could tug at the neckline, which was wide, sitting unevenly on his slim shoulders. He huffed embarrassedly, crossing his arms.
"See? It's way too big; I can't wear this!"
He blinked back at Kaworu when he didn't respond, and he furrowed his brow at his dreamy expression. "Wh-What? What's that look for...?"
Kaworu put a hand over his heart, looking comically starstruck. "Oh, Shinji... you're making me fall in love with you all over again."
Shinji blushed, clenching his hands beneath the long sleeves. He gave him an angry look, but Kaworu didn't seem to care in the slightest. "You're so sweet, Shinji, I could just eat you up!"
Then, he suddenly leaned off the bed, pulling Shinji closer. Kaworu wrapped his arms around his waist, falling backwards onto the bed. Shinji let out a surprised cry, squirming as he fell on top of Kaworu, catching himself on his chest.
Kaworu laughed happily as Shinji attempted to escape, wrapping his arms tighter still. "Let go of me, Kaworu! Stop laughing - I told you not to laugh!"
Kaworu flipped them onto their sides, arms still wound around Shinji's body, a hand reaching up to run through his hair. He nuzzled into Shinji's neck. "How could any one person be so utterly adorable? Oh, you're just like a big, snuggly teddy bear!"
Shinji repressed a whimper, face burning in an odd mixture of humiliation and enjoyment. "Sh-Shut it, you-!" But then Kaworu cut him off with a kiss.
Shinji pushed his face back. "Stop doing that! You can't just fling me around like this!"
Kaworu still smirked, grabbing Shinji's hand away from his face and linking their fingers. "But, why not? You don't like me showing you love?"
Shinji huffed, closing his eyes, though he wrapped his own fingers around Kaworu's hand. "I don't like you teasing me..."
Kaworu hummed, raising his other hand to stroke Shinji's cheek. "Did you know that you blush and clench your hands when you lie?" Shinji felt his stomach squirm, blinking at him. Kaworu's smile widened. "It's really cute."
Shinji sighed, burying his face in Kaworu's chest, hiding his still reddening face. He pulled his hand from Kaworu's as he mumbled, "Give me a break..."
Kaworu rested his head on Shinji's hair, wrapping his arms around him again, comfortably raising a leg to drape it over Shinji's thigh - something he always did when they laid like this. "Very well, but you must admit, this hoodie is perfect for cuddling. You're even softer than usual."
Shinji slowly brought his hand up Kaworu's back, tangling his fingers through his fragrant hair. He smiled a little as Kaworu melted at the touch - it was his most sensitive spot. "Yeah... you're right."
Both he and Kaworu were pretty skinny, and as a result, their bodies weren't the most cushiony things in the world. As much as he loved laying on Kaworu, sometimes the bony protrusions beneath his skin made it uncomfortable, and he knew his own chest must not be the most comfortable place to rest either. But with the hoodie on, there was plenty of extra fabric to use as a cushiony barrier, so he could nuzzle into his partner's pale chest without discomfort. It was satisfying, especially since the inside of the hoodie was so insulating and soft.
"Thank you for this... it's really nice," he murmured. "I'm glad you got it... even if it is too big."
"See? I knew you'd come around," he smirked, leaning down to kiss his forehead. "And you're very welcome, my darling," he added in a silky whisper.
Shinji happily breathed in his scent as he laid on his chest, but then he blinked open his eyes. He felt himself blush as he realized what he'd have to do next. 'Might as well just get it over with...' he thought.
Shinji pulled back and Kaworu looked at him curiously. "Well... I guess you'll want your gift too now."
Kaworu blinked, raising his eyebrows. "You got me a gift?"
Shinji stared, then shook his head incredulously. "Of course I got you a gift; why wouldn't I? You got me one."
Kaworu sat up on the bed as Shinji pulled away fully, standing up to retrieve the little, white box.
Kaworu raised his hand to his face, smiling shyly. "Oh, that's very thoughtful of you, Shinji."
Shinji stood in front of him, looking down at the little box with furrowed brows. "It's... it's not much, really. Nothing as nice as what you got me... but," he sighed, hesitantly holding out the box to Kaworu, looking away.
Kaworu took it, curiosity and excitement written all over his face as he laid it in his palm. Shinji sat next to him, intently watching his face as he opened it.
He pulled out a ring, setting the box down on his lap. "Ooh," he vocalized wonderingly. He turned it around delicately, observing every detail. It had a silver band, and there was a milky, iridescent stone set in its center. The band around the centered stone was covered in minute, glittering, red gemstones.
Shinji self-consciously fidgeted with his hands, gaze flicking between Kaworu and the ring. "S-So," he got out, preparing himself to explain. "That big one in the middle... it's called moonstone. All those little ones are rubies."
Kaworu brought it close to his face, lightly rubbing a finger over the moonstone, its hue shifting interestingly from light blue to pink to soft yellow.
"Moonstone?" Kaworu murmured.
Shinji licked his lips. "Yeah... I saw this ring out shopping recently. It reminded me of you. That sounds weird, I know, but..." he trailed off leaning into his side.
"Whenever I'm out at night and I look up at the sky now, I think of you. All those stars... and especially the moon. Every time I look at it, I remember that night we stargazed together... and," he lowered his voice further, "that song we danced to.
"And those rubies... you know, your eyes look just like them." He looked nervously back at Kaworu's face. "I just thought that m-maybe this'd remind you of... of how much I love you..."
Kaworu continued to stare at the ring, and Shinji felt heat spread over his face. He knew he should've gotten him something else. It was stupid - obviously he wouldn't like it; why would he? As if he'd appreciate something so-
Kaworu turned to face him, and Shinji's heart skipped at the sight of tears budding at the corners of his eyes. A watery smile broke out over his soft face. "Shinji... oh, Shinji," he murmured.
Shinji blinked in surprise as Kaworu pulled him into a hug, but he hugged him back all the same.
"You're so wonderful... I can't tell you how grateful I am," he whispered shakily.
Shinji felt his chest flutter at the thick emotion in his tone. "Y-You... you actually like it?"
"Like it?" Kaworu said breathlessly, pulling back a little. Shinji could see how bright his eyes were, glittering with unshed tears. "Shinji, I love it. This is the most wonderful gift I've ever received..."
He leaned forward, resting his forehead against Shinji's. "You make me so happy, my dear." He smiled wider, whispering, "I'm sure the moon will be very bright tonight."
Shinji looked back into his eyes, entranced. "Kaworu..."
The pale boy leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. Shinji's eyes fluttered open as he leaned back, feeling suddenly out of breath.
Kaworu looked down at the ring again, turning it over in his fingers. "It's so beautiful. Thank you very much."
Shinji swallowed, rearranging his face into one less embarrassingly sappy. He sighed. "You're so emotional..." he murmured, "You're welcome."
Kaworu smirked then, and held the ring out to Shinji, holding up his other hand. Shinji smiled in spite of himself, taking it and slipping it onto his right ring finger.
Kaworu looked down at it for a few seconds, before stretching his hand out in front of him, bringing up his other hand to hold his face. He sighed dramatically. "Oh, I'm only sixteen and I'm already engaged. When will the wedding be, dear?"
Shinji felt his heart jolt alarmingly. "K-Kaworu! That's-!" But then he caught Kaworu's expression, his eyes narrowing teasingly and his smirk growing. He sighed, embarrassedly pulling at his overlarge neckline. "Ha-ha," he said sarcastically, "Very funny; that's not even the right finger..."
Kaworu clicked his tongue, pouting. "Oh, let me have fun, Shinji."
Shinji shook his head, unconsciously fiddling with the tissue wrapping still in the bag. Kaworu stood up and stretched. "So then, is it about time to start cooking dinner?"
Shinji blinked up at him. "Right, I'd almost forgotten," and he stood up too.
Kaworu made to walk into the kitchen then, but Shinji, who'd picked up the gift bag from his lap, didn't move. He was looking down into the bag again, noticing something amidst the wrappings.
"Oh, Kaworu, I think you forgot about something. There's a paper in here," he called out, grabbing the item and dropping the bag on the floor.
Kaworu seemed to stiffen, and he quickly walked back where Shinji stood.
Looking it over, Shinji realized it was a letter, flipping it around and reading the addressee of 'Shinji-kun.'
He slid a finger under the fold, but then Kaworu grabbed his wrist. He blinked up at him, surprised to see how flustered he looked, eyes wide and face pink.
"Sh-Shinji, that's... um," he stuttered out, trying to take the letter from him. Shinji held on, giving him a confused look.
"This is a letter for me, isn't it? That's my name in your handwriting."
Kaworu gazed at him, frowning. "W-Well, yes, it is, but..."
"Soo... I should read it, right? Why would you put it in there if you didn't want me reading it?" he asked uncertainly.
Kaworu stared at him, then sighed. He seemed to be struggling with something. Then he said slowly, "I... I did intend for you to read it, yes, but..." he shook his head. "Nevermind... I'm being silly." He let go of the letter.
Shinji looked at him concernedly. "What's the big deal? Is it embarrassing or something?"
Kaworu rocked on his feet, looking away. "Y-Yes, actually, it is."
Shinji looked down at the letter with interest. If someone as constantly chilled out as Kaworu was this flustered, then this letter really must be embarrassing. What could possibly be in it?
Kaworu looked back down. "Umm, do you think that you could possibly read it later? I mean- when you're back at home?"
Shinji looked up into his anxious eyes. His mouth twitched. "Alright, if that's what you really want."
Kaworu sighed, seeming at least a little relieved. Shinji walked forward, placing the letter gently on the dining table. "Well, anyway, it's time for dinner. I'll worry about that later."
Kaworu smiled then, and came forward as Shinji moved into the kitchen.
He set the recipe magazine down on the counter, reading it closely while Kaworu loomed eagerly over his back. Once he'd straightened up, he washed his hands and started work, grinding the peppercorns over the steak. Kaworu watched him closely, and Shinji - recognizing this - spoke without looking up, telling him to wash the vegetables he'd bought.
This definitely wasn't the first time Shinji had made dinner at Kaworu's place. Nearly any time he slept over, he'd find himself in the kitchen, scraping together something a little more hearty than microwavable dinners. Although, thanks to Shinji's constant scolding and attempts to show him how to make more healthy food, Kaworu's diet had most definitely taken a positive turn. But even though he could cook for himself now, that didn't stop Kaworu begging Shinji to make them meals when they were together.
Of course, he didn't complain about making dinner. He enjoyed cooking very much, and he also enjoyed seeing the satisfied expression Kaworu always had on whenever they finished eating together. Even better were those nights when he made too much, and Kaworu collected the extra food and stored it in the fridge, almost overly ecstatic about being able to have more the next night. He always felt a pleasant little glow in his stomach at being able to make Kaworu so happy. Plus, it felt good to be appreciated for one of the only skills he was proud of.
Usually, Kaworu would help Shinji wherever he could, although most of the time, he didn't really need it. In many cases, the taller boy would just end up hovering around Shinji's shoulder, hands behind his back, stubbornly refusing any suggestions that he go and just wait at the table for dinner to come out when it was done. Shinji did appreciate it to an extent, but sometimes it did get pretty irksome.
Today, however, it seemed Kaworu understood that Shinji's action of cooking dinner was meant to be a present, so he mostly stayed out of his hair, although he didn't leave the kitchen. He seemed quite interested in watching Shinji work.
Shinji wiped some sweat off his face as he cooked the steak on the stove, glancing at the magazine.
"It's about ready; could you go out and set the table, Kaworu?"
The boy he addressed came forward, humming his approval. Shinji brought his arms in as Kaworu reached up to grab a couple plates from the shelf near his head and felt himself tense as Kaworu smoothly leaned over his shoulder.
"Oh, Shinji, that smells delectable… my mouth's already watering," he murmured, bringing his face close to Shinji's. He blushed, half-glancing at Kaworu as he slowly licked his lips, staring at him.
His heart jumped a little, and he quickly looked back down at the pan, prodding Kaworu's chest with an elbow. "Th-Then, get on with setting up the table so you can eat it quicker..."
Kaworu smirked, then kissed his cheek, before saying, "Hmm, if I do, does that mean you'll give me dessert afterwards?" He brought up a finger to lightly stroke Shinji's lip.
Shinji's heart gave an even greater jolt, and he pushed Kaworu back, glaring at him. "Hands to yourself, Kaworu..."
He heard Kaworu whine as he grabbed the steak with some tongs, looking over every side, making sure it was all properly cooked.
"That didn't answer my question, Shinjii."
Shinji rolled his eyes and sighed, removing the steak from the pan, ceasing the sizzling sound it'd been making against the metal. "Yeah, sure, whatever. If that's what'll make you pipe down and do what I ask..." he muttered grumpily.
Kaworu made a noise of satisfaction, and Shinji heard him walk out to the living area. He shook his head, rubbing his neck tiredly as he poured over the recipe again.
At last, he brought out the steak plate and set it down in the center of the table, sitting across from Kaworu. He leaned over and cut the steak in half, dropping a piece on Kaworu's plate, and then he spooned on some of the creamy sauce he'd prepared over top of it, Kaworu looking on eagerly. As he loaded up the empty spaces of his plate with vegetables and potatoes, Kaworu smiled widely, elbows on the table, holding his head in his hands.
"All this talk about me taking care of myself, and here you are coddling me over dinner. You really are just the sweetest," he added, tapping Shinji's nose.
Shinji blinked down at him, feeling himself blush as he drew back to make his own plate. He resolutely kept his mouth shut, biting his tongue as Kaworu snickered in an unpleasantly knowing way.
Once they'd started eating, Shinji bounced his leg, looking down at his watch. It was almost six. He looked back at his plate, cutting his steak inattentively. They still had some time before they had to go to school, so really, there was no need to feel nervous yet. It'd just be stupid to get worked up now when nothing was even happening, right?
But no matter how many times he told himself to just stay calm, he couldn't fight off that distant, uneasy feeling that clung to his insides. He chewed his food slowly, staring at the plate.
This was so stupid. There was nothing to worry about, he was just making a big deal out of things like always... it's not like Kaworu was nervously jittering in his seat. He was perfectly composed just like always, wasn't he? He really should learn to take example…
But then Shinji looked up to find him excitedly wolfing down his food like it was his last meal, and his admiration quite vanished. He blinked and opened his mouth to stare.
"J-Jeez, Kaworu, slow down, you're gonna make yourself throw up like that!" he said, surprised.
Kaworu paused the action of stuffing his face to blink up at Shinji. Then he smiled a little and covered his mouth as he said, "Ah, very sorry; but, Shinji, I just can't help myself sometimes." He swallowed his mouthful, happily cutting more. He was almost halfway done with his plate. "You can't just give me something this amazing and not expect me to enjoy it!"
Shinji shook his head, fighting back a smile as he looked back down to continue eating. "Oh, please, it's really not that good," he murmured.
Kaworu let out a sound of dissent as he said, "Shinji, I'm serious; If I could cook as well as you, I wouldn't be nearly so thin. I could eat this forever."
Shinji wearily continued to cut his steak. "Yeah, well savor it then. I'm not gonna listen to you whine for more when it's gone."
Kaworu took another bite, before he looked back at Shinji, that familiar pout on his face. "You know, Shinji, you're meant to respect your elders. You should mind your manners."
Shinji gave him a look. "I don't wanna hear about manners from you, Kaworu. And you're not my elder, we're in the same grade."
Kaworu leaned in, elbows resting on the table as he smirked, "I'm still a year older than you, Shin-Chan."
Am irritated twinge passed through Shinji's insides, and he narrowed his eyes at Kaworu, pulling a face. "Well, how about you gain my respect by cleaning up when we're done, Senpai?" he said irritably.
After they'd finished, Kaworu took their plates into the kitchen, preparing himself to clean up as Shinji had asked, however, he brought in the rest of the dirty dishes, not really having meant what he said. Washing the dishes together always made it go a lot faster, and Shinji was really starting to become a lot more attentive to the time, glancing down at his watch to an unnecessary frequency.
Kaworu seemed to notice his preoccupation after they'd finished cleaning and moved to the bed, where Kaworu was attempting to woo Shinji into giving him affection.
He made an impatient noise and pushed Shinji's wrist away as he twisted it, glancing at the time as he sat up in bed, Kaworu's arms wound around his waist from behind.
"Shinji, stop that. We've nearly an hour before we have to go back to school, you don't need to worry," he said, wrapping his arms tighter around him, trying to bring his boyfriend's attention back to himself. "That's plenty of time," he murmured into his neck, linking their fingers smoothly.
Shinji sighed, absentmindedly leaned his head on Kaworu's, and turned to breathe in the familiar scent of his hair. He found it comforting. "Yeah... I know..." He closed his eyes as Kaworu's breath warmed his neck.
Still seeming to sense Shinji's dissonance, Kaworu pulled back, leaning over his shoulder to look at him concernedly. "Really, there's nothing to worry about. We've been preparing for weeks and weeks, have we not? We're going to sound just wonderful; I promise.
Shinji let out a sarcastic laugh, shaking his head. "Right, like you can just know that."
Kaworu gave him an uncharacteristically serious look as he brought a hand up to hold Shinji's cheek. "I do know, Shinji. You're going to blow them all away," he said softly, yet with a great deal of conviction.
Shinji's eyes flicked between both of Kaworu's a few times, and then he sighed, closing them. "Alright then, if you say so."
Kaworu still stroked his cheek, then after a few moments, he smirked, humming, "In the meantime, I would quite enjoy tasting that dessert you promised me, Shinjii."
Shinji blinked open his eyes to observe that familiar, smug face. He tried to give him a stern look, but it quite lost its effect as Shinji's lip twitched upwards. He sighed, then allowed his lips into a smile as he turned around in Kaworu's embrace, cuddling closer to him and pressing Kaworu's back into the bed. Kaworu happily accepted the weight, hugging him and running a hand through his hair.
Gently, Shinji stroked Kaworu's smooth cheek, leaning down. "Fine then. But if you leave any more marks, you're dead, got it?"
Kaworu's smirk widened, and he pressed an eager kiss to his lips. "Very well, my darling," he whispered against his mouth. "But I don't mind if you mark me up at all. I'm all yours," he teased.
Shinji sighed as he laughed lowly, "Oh, shut up, Kaworu."
"Mm, how about you make me...?"
Shinji smiled again, muttering against his mouth, "Oh, don't worry." He pressed their lips together, breaking away for a moment to whisper, "I will."
...
7:52.
Shinji stared at the numbers beneath the reflective glass of his watch as his wrist shook, the second hand ticking almost mockingly fast. He let his wrist fall, and he took a deep breath as he sat, bouncing his leg.
He and Kaworu were backstage in the auditorium doing some last-minute preparation and relaxation... at least, that's what Kaworu was doing. Shinji glanced up at his tall figure, a hand propping open his folder of music, eyes slowly moving down its pages, expression concentrated, but not worried. He looked back down, taking deep, shaky breaths. He had his folder laid at his feet, sitting unopened because for some strange reason, he found that physically looking at the music made him feel sick, so he was just mulling it over in his mind instead. Knowing that he didn't need to look at the music made him feel better, though only to a slight degree. The muffled sound of the loud, filing audience from outside was far too nerve-wracking to ignore.
He was just recalling the order of each piece when he heard Kaworu close his folder. He looked up at him as he came forward. Shinji took one last breath before he stood up, grabbing his music2 from its place on the floor.
"Are we all set, Shinji?"
Shinji tapped his fingers on the folder, shrugging. "I guess so..."
Kaworu kept his gaze on him, face falling into that same concerned expression he'd worn earlier. "You needn't be so worried, Shinji, haven't I already said?" He smiled softly, walking closer. "You'll do wonderfully," he murmured, bringing up his hands to straighten and flatten the lapels of his jacket in a comforting sort of way.
Shinji met his eyes, and he found it far too difficult to pretend to look put together. He shook his head, eyebrows knit. "H-How am I supposed to do this? I can't hold a bow if my hands are shaking... what am I meant to do...?" He could feel his face reddening, recognizing how fragile his tone sounded.
Kaworu sighed, then let his hands fall to entwine with Shinji's at their sides. Being so close now, he could lean his head on top of Shinji's. Even despite his nerves, Shinji pressed his head into Kaworu's neck.
He could've sworn he'd grown at least another inch or so in the two months they'd been together. Whenever they were this close, Shinji always had to turn his head up a considerable amount to meet his eye, and he was quite sure he never needed to do that before. Strangely - and he'd never say it aloud - he liked having to look up at him like that.
Kaworu murmured into his hair, "You know what I always think about when I perform?"
Shinji opened his eyes against his own borrowed suit. "What?"
Kaworu hummed lightly. "It's somewhat peculiar. Whenever I perform, I imagine myself in a ruined building opening up into the sky. It's a peaceful place. There's always a gentle breeze, and there are weeds and plants growing from the floor." He squeezed Shinji's hand gently. "I don't know where I thought of it. Possibly I dreamed it once, but," he continued. "I'm calm there. Nobody is watching me, and I can play openly. I'm never nervous."
He pulled back and looked down at him. "Possibly you could benefit from joining me in that place tonight?"
Shinji blinked up at him. He opened his mouth to respond, but just then, the music director opened the backstage entrance. Kaworu dropped Shinji's hands, and the shorter boy hurriedly took a step back as he laid eyes on them.
"Alrighty, boys, it's time to get on stage. We're all ready? Feeling good?" he offered a questioning kind of thumbs up.
Kaworu smiled, bowing a little. "Of course, Sensei, everything's just fine."
Shinji forced his face into a smile, nodding jerkily. He didn't think he had the strength to actually speak.
The director nodded and passed them, making his way out to the stage. Shinji watched him pass, before Kaworu turned back to him. He smiled and took his hand, giving it one last encouraging squeeze, before they heard the director address the crowd, which had fallen silent at his appearance.
At the sound of him announcing their names, Kaworu led the way out onstage, Shinji following shakily behind.
The crowd clapped as Shinji took his seat beside the piano, thinking unhelpfully about how embarrassing it'd be if he lost his grip on his cello as he picked it up from in front of him, though he managed to avoid that outcome.
He straightened up and opened his music as the crowd's applause tapered away. He held his chin up, staring at the music sheet, which was illuminated a bright white in the spotlights, everything around the stand bathed in a contrasting darkness. He was grateful; that meant he couldn't make out the crowd.
He stared at the starting line, then closed his eyes, waiting for Kaworu to strike the first chord.
The moment the sound resounded, he set his jaw, counting off the beats before he came in, bow just ghosting the strings. Then the moment came, and he played the first, protracting note.
His heart still thudded hard in his chest, but there was an intense, determined kind of fire flaring within it too, keeping his hand steady enough to play. He was almost surprised, but he couldn't really spare much thought for anything but the sound of the piano to his right, and the cello gently laid against his body.
He focused on those things. The gentle vibrations against his feet, cast from the force he applied to the bow. The feel of the thin, taught strings under his fingers as they moved up and down the neck. How smooth the bow's frog felt in his light grip. If it hadn't been for the orange glow of light through his eyelids, he could've believed he wasn't on a stage at all. Nothing else was real. Not except for his partner. He could practically visualize the way Kaworu's fingers were moving in his mind, just as they always did whenever they practiced together. They were perfect, fluidly moving over the keys.
Then, Kaworu's hands weren't the only thing he was visualizing. The echo of his words from a few minutes ago passed through his mind, and suddenly, he could see an entirely new scene before him.
He was still sitting with his cello, still playing the same song. Kaworu was still beside him, sitting at the piano, but they weren't onstage anymore.
A stretch of long, grey, cement flooring spanned before him, red, painted lines separating it into squares. The floor was cracked, and the paint faded. He could see signs of emerging vegetation along its cracks - little green weeds and yellow flowers. There was even a flourishing tree growing from the floor, just beside the piano.
He looked down at his cello, watching his fingers work over the strings. Natural, bright sunlight was shining from every angle around him, illuminating all the detail of the instrument's body. Every fingerprint and fleck of dust stood out in a way he'd never seen before. The scroll near his head glossed and shined just above the gleaming, ebony pegs.
He wasn't truly inside of a building. To him, it seemed like a gigantic, strange maze of mechanical walls and parts which had been broken and reclaimed by nature.
Casting his gaze upwards, he observed the way the strange walls ended in jagged, crumbling edges, giving way to the bright, blue sky above.
It was warm here, almost like a summer's day. The sun was high, its light creating interesting shadows along the strange floor. It was beading down on him, instilling a kind of warm, pleasant glow which seeped through his suit and bare skin.
A gentle, cooling breeze was blowing throughout the open complex, fanning the leaves of that green tree, and bristling the weeds.
He looked sideways at Kaworu. He was still playing, that ever-present smile on his face. His hair was blowing gently in the breeze and shining in just the way Shinji admired most, black earrings glinting as his body moved with the music he played.
He felt his heartbeat settle out. He wasn't playing for a crowd. He was playing for himself, simply enjoying the way he sounded beside his partner.
He recalled the first time they finally played together. They'd been in the music room, and Kaworu had half-glanced at him, an excited smile playing around his lips as he nodded. Then they struck up the song written on the sheets in front of their respective spots.
Shinji remembered that wonderful, giddy feeling he'd gotten, which had felt so similar to that feeling he'd experienced when he kissed Kaworu under the stars. It was amazing. They were finally playing together, their minds were connected, hearts beating together. They were one, and they sounded perfect.
He felt it again now. He sat in the music room, matching Kaworu's pace, smiling lightly. He sat in that strange, ruined facility, watching Kaworu, admiring all of his little motions, every subtle shift of his foot and sway of his head.
Now, he sat on stage, eyes still closed, but heart beating evenly, almost with the music. He was sitting up straight, no longer shaking. As they reached the last four measures, he played energetically with Kaworu, a resounding, rich melody which he'd always found to be the most enjoyable part of the song. His lips upturned ever so slightly, as he played the final note of the piece, opening his eyes at last, bow still suspended in the air.
He let out a breath, first staring at the white sheets in front of him, then past that to dark auditorium.
The silence following the song's end was broken as the audience crescendoed into loud applause.
He could see people cheering, some faces he recognized, others he didn't, but it didn't matter. He'd done it. They'd done it. They'd played the first piece perfectly, and everyone loved it!
He fought to keep his smile from growing too wide. He glanced at Kaworu, who wasn't trying in the slightest to hide his wide smile. Kaworu met his eyes, and Shinji's heart swelled at the clear admiration and pride written in his gaze. That alone gave him the strength to continue.
He looked back at the music stand, flipping the page as the applause tapered away.
'One down,' Shinji thought, smoothing the page, and readying his bow over the strings again. His hands weren't shaking anymore.
He turned his head to Kaworu, catching his eye, ready to cue him into the next song. Kaworu stared back, and Shinji had to repress an eye roll, practically able to hear his teasings of, 'And you were so nervous before.'
Kaworu's smile grew as Shinji gave him an irritated look, but then he straightened up again, and subtly nodded his head to the starting tempo, looking back at the sheet.
Shinji took a deep breath, and motioned with his bow. They opened the next song simultaneously then, and Shinji knew he wouldn't mess up. After all, why would he? He'd play just as perfectly as he always did, and being on stage wouldn't change anything. The audience would love it. He knew that. He was simply glad he could finally show people how good he and Kaworu sounded together. He hoped a few of those girls who flirted with Kaworu were watching just now. Maybe they'd finally learn they couldn't compete with him.
He repressed another smile, refocusing on the music.
If anything, at least he'd get some recognition too.
...
"Holy shit! Ikari, Nagisa, dudes! That was awesome!"
When Shinji walked offstage, he almost immediately had the wind knocked out of him from someone unexpectedly thumping him hard on the chest. Luckily though, Kaworu had hurriedly gripped his shoulders, stabilizing him as Toji heartily thumped him again.
Shinji rubbed at his chest, grinning as he watched the rest of his friends rush towards them. Apparently Toji had run ahead.
"Oh, it really was! You two sounded amazing!" Hikari chimed in, eyes wide with earnest.
"A-Ah, thanks.. really," Shinji blushed, looking sideways at Kaworu, who looked as though he was trying to repress some of his pride.
"Yeah! You guys were something else! You even had Toji crying," Kensuke smiled.
When Shinji's eyes flicked to him, he had to hurriedly suppress a laugh. He was tightly holding onto a large gift bag, and he'd wound his arm around Asuka's. She looked incredibly displeased, and her face couldn't have been more different from Kensuke's wildly excited expression. He'd definitely have to ask how he managed to convince Asuka to come with him later.
"'Aye! I wasn't cryin'! Don't you go spreadin' that around!" Toji said, turning back to shove Kensuke with an arm. He grinned and let go of Asuka's arm to shove Toji back, and they laughed, now caught in a kind of upright wrestling match. Asuka made a pointed sound of disgust and crossed her arms.
"These are for you," Rei said quietly, holding out a couple bouquets. Shinji blinked down at the flowers she was offering him, and grabbed them.
"W-Wow, thanks, Ayanami."
"Oh, Rei," Kaworu laughed happily, taking his flowers, and giving her a one-armed hug. "How sweet! You enjoyed the show then?"
Rei clasped her hands in front of her body and nodded, a tiny smile on her face. "Yes. You played very well."
Kaworu gave her a pleased smile then straightened up. Shinji glanced back at Asuka, who still looked unhappy.
"How about you, Soryu? Did you enjoy it?"
Asuka scoffed and turned to eye Kaworu rudely. "Oh, please, isn't your ego already big enough? I'm not gonna kiss up to you." She narrowed her eyes. "I figured you already got enough of that from idiot Shinji."
Kaworu raised his eyebrows. "Excuse me?"
Asuka put her hands on her hips. "Yeah right, like you don't know what I'm talking about. You two losers are so obvious it hurts."
Shinji stared at her. Even Toji and Kensuke had stopped their fighting to look at her.
Shinji shook his head. He could feel his face turning slightly red. "Asuka, wh-"
"Don't 'what' me, idiot!" she said, poking him in the chest. "I'm talking about you and your creep boyfriend!"
Shinji felt his heart drop. "Boyfriend?! H-He's not my-!"
"Oh, save your breath!" She pushed him back and he stumbled slightly. "I know exactly what you two are!"
Shinji stared at her wide eyed, then he shot Toji and Kensuke a searching look, but they seemed just as shocked as he did. He glanced at Kaworu, who had his mouth hanging open slightly.
She scoffed again, rolling her eyes. "Ugh, you're so clueless."
Shinji swallowed. "H-How did you...?" he trailed off.
"You barely even try to hide it," she said grumpily. "I'm not stupid. You two have been acting off since winter break. Getting all touchy and sappy; it's so gross!"
She adopted a high, mocking voice, clasping her hands together next to her face. "Oh, Kaworu, your hair looks so nice today! Kaworu, how's Tabris doing? Kaworuuu, I love you so much, will you marry me? I-"
"Shut up!" Shinji retaliated, face positively glowing red now. "You don't know what you're talking about!"
Asuka laughed sarcastically. "Yeah, right!"
Toji, Kensuke, and Hikari were following the argument raptly, eyes flicking between Asuka and Shinji.
She pointed at Shinji's neck. "You show up to class with hickeys all over your neck, and Angel Boy over here-" she cocked her head to Kaworu, "-leaning over you smirking, and you saying you've got a secret girlfriend? Hah! Please."
She snatched the gift bag Shinji was carrying. "H-Hey!"
She scrutinized the edges of the bag, and smirked, pulling from it a long, silvery hair. "Guess your 'girlfriend' must be going grey?" She dropped the hair onto the floor, shoving the bag back at Shinji.
Shinji stared down at the bag for a moment. Everyone had gone silent. Then he looked back up at Asuka as she stood with her arms crossed, smiling triumphantly.
"S-So you've known for weeks, but you never told anyone...?"
Asuka furrowed her brows. "Eh?"
"You didn't tell anyone we were together... you just kept it to yourself."
Asuka looked defensive. "Yeah, so what if I didn't blab; what's that got to do with anything?"
Shinji dropped the bag and came forward, a smile sliding onto his face. He pulled her into a hug.
"Thanks Asuka... thanks alot."
Asuka stiffened, and Shinji braced himself for her to punch him or something, but to his surprise, she just scoffed again and balled her fists at her sides.
"Whatever... j-just get off me already!" Shinji pulled back and stepped away to stand next to Kaworu again, while Asuka looked away rubbing her arm. She half glanced at the two of them standing together. "And… yeah, I guess you sounded good tonight… even if both of you are huge creeps," She muttered.
They were all silent again, until a moment later, Kaworu cleared his throat. "Um... well, in any case..." They all looked at him. He smiled widely, and Shinji could tell he was blushing, even in the dim light. "I was just wondering if we'd all like to go out for a celebratory dinner someplace. I'd quite like this good mood to continue."
They all happily murmured agreement at that, and Kensuke's eyes lit up. "Oh, yeah! We could go on a triple date for Valentine's Day!" He linked arms with Asuka again, and she quite looked like she was ready to punch him.
"O-Or," Kaworu said, attempting to prevent an altercation. "It could just be a dinner between friends. There's nothing wrong with that."
Toji nodded. "Yeah, right, we ain't tryna make Ayanami over here to feel like a..." he trailed off, counting heads. "-seventh wheel, amiright?" He laughed, but then quickly rearranged his face into a frown at a glance from Hikari, who seemed to think that comment was thoroughly insensitive.
Kaworu clapped his hands together. "Perfect! Anyone have any idea of where we should go?"
Toji and Kensuke led the way out of the still crowded auditorium, excitedly jumping on Kaworu's question.
"Ah, we should go to that diner place wit' the pretty host ladies. Ya 'member that place?" Toji said, elbowing Kensuke.
"Nah, Toji. They've got good breakfast, but not dinner. How about that Chinese place off your neighborhood?"
"Man, I'm not really feelin' Chinese right now though, how 'bout..."
Shinji tuned Toji's voice out, too focused on the happy glow he felt in his chest. It really had been a lot of fun performing. Then, he felt Kaworu press himself close, wrapping their hands together and holding them stiff next to their sides so no one could see.
"I know it's getting late. If you'd rather not go to dinner since we already ate, that'd be perfectly fine."
Shinji gave him a look. "C'mon, Kaworu, I'm not a baby. You don't have to dote."
Kaworu hummed. "If you're sure you're up for it."
Shinji grinned at him. "Of course I am; how couldn't I be? I've just had the best night of my life."
Kaworu laughed then, and gave him that warm, glowing look Shinji liked more than anything. "Then let's make it even better." He squeezed Shinji's hand, and he returned the motion.
"Yeah," Shinji said, looking forwards again. "That sounds like a wonderful idea."
...
Shinji breathed, wrapping himself tightly in his blanket, turning onto his side. He was lying in bed, having returned home just an hour or so ago, and he was dead tired.
His eyes were heavy, and he had to repress a yawn, but he didn't care. He didn't think anything at the moment could ruin his mood.
He'd truly had an amazing day. It'd been far, far better than what he'd expected nearly 24 hours ago, lying in this same bed, dreading waking up.
He looked across his dark room, at the bouquet of flowers Rei had brought him, the stems of which he'd chopped so he could put them in one of his aunt's old vases.
They were standing tall and healthy, a pretty, yellow color. He thought they might've been marigolds, but he didn't know anything about flowers, so he wasn't sure. Not that it mattered what they were called.
He shifted comfortably in bed, looking at his nightstand. He'd laid the doll Kaworu made against the lamp he had on the surface, its little eyes shining from the moonlight through his window.
Then his eyes dragged down from the doll to the other item he'd dropped on the nightstand. It was the letter Kaworu had written.
He stared at it. He was really tired, but reading that letter was a really tempting idea. He wasn't sure he could wait for tomorrow.
Making up his mind, he sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes, reaching over to flick on the desk lamp so he could properly read the letter. He blinked and his eyes watered at the sudden brightness, so he took a moment to let them adjust before he grabbed the letter, settling comfortably against his pillows.
He ran a finger over the envelope, flipping it over to read his own name which was written in black ink, though strangely it looked slightly faded.
'Shinji-kun...' Kaworu hadn't called him that in a while. That combined with the faded ink, as well as the ever so light layer of dust that he noticed covering it when he moved his finger made him think that maybe this letter hadn't been written so recently.
He flipped it back over and slid his finger under the slit, gently opening it and extricating the paper inside.
He unfolded the paper and took a moment to note Kaworu's familiar, neat handwriting, before he started reading.
He blinked as his eyes moved down the paper, noticing his heart beating faster. He'd barely been expecting anything more than a simple card, but this letter had far more feeling in it than he ever could've imagined.
This had to have been written no more than a couple months after they met each other, but every stroke of the pen he used, and every word he wrote was full of a kind of affection he'd personally only realized when they started dating.
He started to understand exactly what Kaworu meant when he said he'd had a crush on him for months and months. He really hadn't lied about that.
He'd loved him for over a year, and Shinji had never even known.
He got to the last sentence, and then he blinked, realizing how much his hands were shaking. He hadn't even noticed that he was crying until a single tear fell on the paper.
He hurriedly wiped his face and sniffled, trying to blot the wet spot on the paper dry with his shirt. He didn't want to ruin it.
He caressed the page with a finger, breathing unsteadily. Something in him was stirring. Something exciting and warm and wonderful. That feeling that Kaworu could always inspire in him whenever he kissed him deeply enough or stared into his eyes long enough. That feeling he always got whenever they played together.
That feeling which told him just how much he loved Kaworu.
He smiled widely, holding back more tears, still scanning the letter. He admired the way his own name looked in Kaworu's handwriting, and he searched for all the times he'd written it, that feeling of love intensifying with each one.
Finally, he looked up at the ceiling, sighing deeply, swallowing the slight lump in his throat, preferring not to end his day ugly crying into a piece of paper.
He turned and flicked off his light again, carefully folding the letter, sliding down in bed to rest his head on his pillows again. He laid the letter over his chest, thinking that his insides felt about as comfortable as they did whenever Kaworu cuddled him to sleep. He always slept better that way, laying in his arms, but he definitely thought he'd sleep just as easy tonight, even if they were both laying in different parts of the city right now.
He felt his eyes growing heavy again, still smiling, unable to help it. He turned over and held the letter in his hand, next to his body.
He resolved himself to make Kaworu dinner every night this week. And maybe if he was lucky, Shinji thought, he'd give him dessert too.
Of course, that is, if he stayed off his nerves long enough.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone