Chapter 25: 25. Cure
Derek looked ahead into space, thinking deep about the question. Describe her? Where do he start from?
"Aurora... That's her name." He began. The devious smirk on Dr Suarez's face turned into a smile. He wish he had a bucket of popcorn right now to enjoy this unearthly show.
"She has blonde hair, which glows in the sun." He grimaced, not liking the taste of his own words. What was he even saying? "Her eyes... I've never seen such eyes in my life."
Yeah, right. You don't even look at anyone, Dr Suarez rolled his eyes inwardly. "What about her eyes?"
"They look ... turquoise... blue... green..." He frowned a little, like he wanted to get it right.
"They must be really pretty the way you describe them." Dr Suarez wanted to get more reaction from him.
Pretty? He hadn't thought of a name to what he thought about her eyes. And her lips...
"Her lips look like a pink rose." He continued, lost in thoughts as images of Rory filled his entire mind. "Her smile is... I can't stop myself from looking at her when she smiles."
Interesting!! So he didn't even know how to say something was beautiful?
Derek turned to face Dr Suarez after some time. "Is that enough description?" He asked nonchalantly, not liking the way he felt after having to go through the hussle of describing someone he wanted out of his mind. Her images were still lingering in his memories and his heart had picked up its beat.
"I think so." Dr Suarez answered, but he didn't get the desired reaction yet. "How did you feel while describing her?"
Derek brow furrowed. How did he feel?
"My heart is still beating faster, than normal. And there seemed to be some..." Gosh! How would he put it to words? "...some bubbly feeling in my belly."
Awwnn! Butterflies... Dr Suarez almost purred out loud.
The boy was probably in love! Too bad he didn't even know it. He didn't understand any of it because of his condition. But there was surely a way out in any situation. Whoever this girl was, she needed to be there for Derek. She seemed to be the cure they've been looking for over the years.
But he knew he couldn't be straight forward with Derek about the possibility of him being in love. He may even be misunderstanding care for love in Derek's case since he had never been in such a situation before. He had not even cared for anyone before, let alone love. But he was sure of one thing. The lady would be of great help and she needed to be close.
"Is that not something to be taken seriously, Dr. Suarez?" Derek's strained voice cut his thoughts. He looked funny the way he reacted to those feelings.
"Sure." Dr Suarez said, "Every little change pertaining to your healing process is very important. And this is why we need to get to the bottom of this. Don't you think so?"
Derek just nodded. He just wanted to leave already.
"I want you to listen to what I'm about to tell you very well." Dr Suarez said, now sounding serious. "Yes, and how often are the nightmares now?" He almost forgot. He opened his folder which was in front of him and made ready to write his analysis.
"They're still there. But not as vivid as they were at first."
"What about sleep pattern?"
"I don't get to sleep well." He simply replied.
Dr Suarez nodded, scribbling something in Derek's folder. "And the compulsions?" He asked without looking up from the folder.
"I try to occupy myself with something, just like you told me to do."
"With what, exactly?"
Derek shrugged. "Just drive around or go to the gym if I don't have work."
Impressive!! Dr Suarez smiled and nodded. He saw a great progress ahead. Now he needed to find a way to make him get closer to the girl without it being so obvious.
"So here's the new therapy." He began. "Whatever little string of hope we see along the line, we have to hold unto it."
Derek listened, confused about the little hope part.
"And by hope, I mean whatever triggers an emotion in you should be considered a way of helping. Do you get me, Derek?"
Derek hesitated. "Yes." He replied. What was he driving at?
"Now, this is the most important part. Don't try to fight any reaction you get from anything, or anyone. It may be harmful to you"
Derek's brows slightly pulled together in a frown. "How?"
"Allow yourself feel whatever it is you are feeling." He explained in a calm voice, but Derek did not miss the seriousness in it. "If you try to fight it you may end up worsening it." He wasn't trying to instill fear, but as a doctor, he knew recognising changes was a part of the treatment of Alexithymia. He continued.
"Start being mindful of your own psychological responses. Lets begin with your heart rate. You have now noticed changes in the way your heart beats, right?"
Derek nodded. "Yes." He said.
"Can you describe the emotion when your heart beats in an abnormal way to you?"
He thought for a while. "No."
"So you have to start practicing on how to distinguish between happiness and anger through your heartbeats."
Derek become thoughtful, but nodded slowly as he listened. He frowned, trying to think of an emotion...
"You can write down whatever your thoughts are in your jotter and let me have it on our next appointment." Dr Suarez continued. It almost always felt like he could read minds. "It's also important to keep in mind that negative emotions are just as important as positive ones. Learning how to identify these emotions and working with them can help you lead a more fulfilling life." He ended with a bright smile.
"Thank you, Doctor." he said, offering his hand for a handshake. "I'll be on my way now."
"Sure. Just let me know if you need any help."
Derek nodded and left.
He drove back home in silence, trying to ponder on the things they talked about today at his psychotherapy appointment. But his head bagan to spin and his head ached, so he just stopped. He really needed some rest with all the mental stress he had gone through.
He got home earlier than usual, and that was when he had witnessed what made him smile in almost forever. As he went to get himself some chilled water to cool this headache, Rory badged in, blabbering nonstop on why Esther didn't involve her in the food preparation. Well, he smiled, but he wasn't aware he did that. Probably because it had never happened in a long while and he had forgotten how to smile or what should make him smile.
His heart began to race then, and the words of Dr Suarez echoed in his head.
'Can you describe the emotion when your heart beats in an abnormal way to you?'
Could he? Maybe he should give it a shot. He tried to think about it while Rory was still blabbering not noticing his presence.
How was he feeling? His heartbeat picked up, and his stomach felt funny. He quickly left, his face burning and his head spinning. He felt nauseous. Should he call Dr Suarez?
He got to his room, feeling flustered, and even after showering he still felt the same, so he went to the gym. He came back calmer than before. But he was all sweaty and decided to get another shower when a soft knock came in. Thinking it was Hayford, he went ahead and opened it, only to know that it was her. She was bringing his dinner. Very bold of her because not even Esther had had the courage to do that ever.
He ended up doing things he didn't want to recall, but then he remembered Dr Suarez's words that he should not fight his emotions and try to feel them. Recognize them. He tried to do all he was feeling, including touching her face. And at that moment he felt like having dinner with her. He wouldn't fight it, then he would see what he would feel after that.
He noticed something. This lady was afraid of him. He had heard a lot of people saying it. Being afraid of him. He had heard Esther say it quite a number of times before, and he remembered the look on the faces of those who were afraid. So he could tell that Rory was.
Okay, now he had one point to write down. What else?
But she had said he wasn't afraid when he asked her. What did that mean? Ugh. His head began hurting.
His thoughts were interrupted when Rory started asking questions.
She liked asking questions. Point number two.
He noticed she was slowly becoming less afraid. He could see the change in her expression. Was that necessary to write down?
Wait! It wasn't supposed to be about her. It should be about him. Oh no! He quickly thought of how he was feeling.
And then Rory called him sir.
What was it that he felt when Rory called him that? He felt... He felt... What?
He didn't like it when she called him sir. Yes, he would write it down. He didn't like it at all. He didn't know what to call that feeling.
Maybe Dr Suarez knew.
.....
Happy New month, everyone! May this month bring nothing but good tidings. Enjoy <3
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Juujuu_Sky
Juujuu_Sky Your gift is the motivation for my creation. Give me more motivation!
Gifts
-- Gift
received Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone