Chapter 29: Chapter 29
"I have a meeting, you can stay here for a while, just wait for me here." He said and kissed my forehead before he left me.
He was in a rush so I keep my silence. Kinuha ko mula sa bag ang cellphone ko at tinignan ang gc naming mga kaibigan ko. Matagal na nila akong gustong pauwiin, sa dami nang naging misyon at muntikan nang mapahamak ay hindi ko na nagawang mag social media ulit.
'ONLY SINGLE' ang pangalan nang gc na nabasa ko at tinignan isa isa ang mga message nila doon.
Chloe: I told you that it was nicole who's having a baby again.'
Irish: Pang ilan naba yan? Tatlo na anak nila ah
Nicole: Oh ano naman ngayon Irish? Kung gusto mong sundan, support ka naman namin. Baka kambal na kasunod gawa nang asawa mo 🤣
Desiree: Ako ang nabigyan nang kambal.
The three of them including me click the 'Haha' reacted. I was smiling the whole time while they're chatting and having fun together. Kahit hanggang ganito lang, masaya na akong nakikita sila
Irish: Syempre ikaw yan Desiree, di papatalo asawa mo! Hmp!
Xyria: What's happening?
Nicole: Iyang si Irish pakipot pa e gusto naman magpa buntis ulit.
Irish: Gago!
Hindi ko napigilang matawa at mag reacted sa bawat message nila. Hanggang mapunta kay Xyria ang topic, damay ang kapatid ni Nicole na bunso.
Nicole: Nakakarami na ako, Xyria. Kailan kayo gagawa nang kapatid ko?
Chloe: Ang straight forward mo naman sis.
Irish: Oo nga ano! Silang dalawa na lang talaga ni Krisha ang wala pa! Kilos kilos girls!
Nagpakawala ako ng buntong hininga at binasa lang ang mga mensahe nila hanggang sa mapunta ang topic sa asawa nila. Doon ko na naisipan na hindi na lang iyon basahin dahil baka ma inggit lang ako sa kanila.
It's been a years since I escaped with Azure. Hindi pa din ako makapaniwalang pumayag sya nang ganoon kadali. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang pumasok sa isip ko at sya ang inaya ko. But ever that scene happened. I already told him that I will never like him the way I like the man of my life.
All those years I spent my time here in Florida. My heart will only beat for him and I thought that I can forget him easily. Pero mali ako, dahil nakakalimutan ko lang sya kapag ginagawa ko ang trabaho ko. At kaysa mag emote ay pinili kong pakisamahan si Azurw kasabay nang pilit kong pagkalimot sa kanya.
I choose to grow and be the best version of myself. I tried to hide my emotions to anyone but not to Azure. He wants to help and it works. Works that he's willing to not entertain another girl's because of me. He's willing to help that he always try to hope that will someday, I will like him back the way he like or love me.
It's not even easy to cope up with another people. Ito ang kahinaan ko pag dating sa pag ibig. Ni hindi ko alam kung paano kikilos nang mag isa, hindi ko alam kung paano ulit magsisimula nang hindi sya naiisip.
Ito ang pinaka mahirap sa akin. Na kahit panandalian lang ang samahan namin, para sa akin ay iyon na ang pinaka matagal na pagsasama namin.
Kamusta na kaya sya? Masaya na kaya sya ngayong ikinasal na sila nang taong gusto nya? Nagkaroon na kaya sya nang sariling pamilya na matagal na nyang pinapangarap noon?
Hanggang kailan kaya kita makakalimutan?
Namalayan ko na lang na gabi na nang marinig ko ang pag unlock nang pinto sa condo at nakita ko ang pagod na pagod na si Azure. He smile at me when he saw me and kissed my forehead before hugging me.
It was our routine together for years passed. "Ah, I feel at home." He hugged me tighter.
I felt a slightly pain in my heart. I always felt itn when he said those words for me. Alam ko naman na hindi nya sinasadyang sabihin iyon. Sa tagal naming mag kasama ay mas naging open sya sa emosyon nya sa akin. Iyon ang mas ikinakatakot ko kahit ilang beses ko na syang tinanggihan at hindi pa rin sya sumusuko.
"Azure," Makahulugang sambit ko at bumitaw sa yakap nya.
He smiled at me. "I know, I'm sorry."
I can see the pain in his eyes ans it broke me. Why the world is unfair to make feel like this? Bakit hindi na lang ako ang hayaan mamili nang taong mamahalin ko pabalik?
Why I need to suffer from the pain he gave me? I wanted to understand his eyes, but it more years now and nothing change. Like I was running alone and never be chased by someone.
Like I was running from the pain he caused me.
"It's okay, when we will go home?" Tanong ko sa kanya na ikinagulat nya.
It's been 7 years since we're together. And I think it's time for me to let him go.
"Do you missed Philippines now? Do you want me to leave you alone?" Pain accrossed his face but I can't do anything about it.
"I'm sorry." I try to avoid his eyes. "But I missed my friends. I miss my brother, can we go home tomorrow?" I asked desperately.
Nakikiusap ang mga tingin ko mula sa kanya. Mabilis namula ang mga mata nya at tumalikod sa akin. I bit my lower lip to stop my emotions inside.
"Ayaw mo naba dito?" Bulong nya ngunit narinig ko pa din.
Napatingin ako sa likod nya. "It's been 7 years, can you let go of me now?" It pains me. To hurt a friend like him.
He chuckle sarcastically and finally looked at me. "Can I be selfish sometimes? Can I keep you forever? Even if you won't love me back?"
"You can't do this-"
"I can!" I stopped when he shouts. "Of course I can, Krisha. Nag ta trabaho ako para satin, ginagawa ko ang lahat para lang maka lamang sa kanya. I even make sacrifices to our organization works and let you out because I don't want you to die! Remember that time that you almost kneel to the enemy because of the shot you got?! Do you ever remember how your life is dangerous because of an enemy?! Who's in your side and your protector?! Hindi ba ako? Kailan mo ba ako mapipili? Kailan ko ba malalaman ang sagot mo? Kailan mo ba ako kayang mahalin pabalik?"
"I told you to not expect! Alam kong alam mo sa sarili mo na wala kang pag asa. I don't ever give you a chance to enter in my life again as more as that!"
He gave me a disapprove look. "A chance? Who ever said 7 years ago to escape with her? Who ever like my kiss that night and you ever kissed me back? Krisha hindi ako tanga para hindi maramdaman iyong ginawa natin noon. At hindi ako tanga para pag aksayahan ang oras ko sayo sa loob ng pitong taon. Dahil alam ko na nagkaroon ako ng kaonting pag asa sayo noong halikan mo ako pabalik."
I started to cry in frustration. I even remember that night and it was a stupid of me to kissed him back. Pinilit ko ang umiling at lumapit sa kanya pero ang kasabay noon ang pagkaroon ng sakit sa mata nya at umatras upang hindi ko sya mahawakan.
"It was a stupid of me and a miss-understanding-"
"That's bullsh'it! Why don't you appreciate my efforts towards you? Why do you need to hurt me like this? Kung alam mo sa sarili mo na hindi mo kayang ibigay ang hinihiling ko, sana hindi ko na lang din pinili na sumama sayo, sa panahong nabubulag ka sa pagmamahal nya at nasasaktan nang paulit ulit." That's what he said before he go inside to our room and slammed the door.
I was crying all night. And yes, I am no longer a member of the organization. My life now has a peaceful not until my love from him never change and starting to hurt me again.
Ito na yung pinakahihintay ko. Ang makasama sya ulit nang walang iniisip na ibang tao na kailangan kong protektahan. Pero nang maisip ang wala sya sa tabi ko hanggang ngayon ay parang binabaliw ako.
Napatigil ako sa aking pag iyak nang maramdaman ko ang pag vibrate nang cellphone ko. Kinuha ko iyon at tinignan kung sino ang tumatawag. It was Chloe.
[Krish! I have something news for you!] Her voice sounded excited.
Pinikit ko ang mata ko at pinakalma ang sarili ko. "Yes? Ano iyon?" I tried to sound excited too.
[When will you be back? Ang tagal mo na dyan sa Florida, success na din ang building na pinatayo mo dyan at sa Pilipinas. Bakit ba ayaw mo pa umuwi? Come back na Krish, we need you here!] Pambibitin nya pa.
"Ano nga ang ibabalita mo?" I'm slowly getting curious.
[I'm finally now engaged to your cousin! O m g! We need you here and I sent you an invitation after you arrived.]
Napangiti ako sa sinabi nya, ngunit ang kasama ay may pait sa aking puso at inggit.
"Congratulations! You deserve it Sis. Be happy to my cousin." Nakangiting sambit ko at sinandal ang sarili sa pader at tumingala.
[Thank you Krish! Be back na ha, kahit iyon na lang ang gift mo sakin for upcoming our wedding. Take care okay? I love you!]
"I love you too." Mahinang sambit ko at pinatay na ang cellphone.
I was staring at the wall too long. Making a decision if ever I gave them a chance to meet me again.
Kapag ba umuwi ako ay makikita ko na sya? Ever since I left in the Philippines. No one will ever mention him again, maski si Israel at France ay hindi na binabanggit muli ang kaibigan nila. Kamusta na kaya sila? Maybe I should talk them again and finally go home.
Maybe, I was still broken inside but I am not a girl before who will plead just go get back to the man that I love. Maybe, I'm not a martyr girl anymore.
To be continued...
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