Chapter 14: Dos and Don'ts
For most of my life I never seemed to do the right thing when it comes to love and relations.
First Mistake: I was in highschool, this guy came up to me and told me he liked me, knowing he was a friend, I didn't want to hurt him, He said Francine, "Can you be my girlfriend?".
At the time I was in love with Joe, but I don't know how to tell him how I feel. I was in the bleachers watching him play, and run around the court, I screamed inside whenever he makes the goal. I voted for him, when he ran for school council President. I gave him a small gift, when he won, to congratulate him, with it. A mini-bobblehead of him wearing his #12 Jersey wearing a sash which wrote "to the Coolest President" ever.
My mistake is thinking if I had a boyfriend, will he like me back? Will he get jealous if he sees me with someone else? I instantly, gave my friend an answer, "Yes! sure OK lets go steady". Nicholas is my first boyfriend, but the decision would haunt me until today. While Joe never saw me as more than a follower and a fan.
❤When you're at the receiving end of a Love Connection, it is easier if You like the person too.
But if "You don't like the person" instantly refuse and tell them good luck. Don't make them feel like they are being used, because once they find out about it, the consequences are harsh and will have repercussions on your future relationship with the person.
Nicholas was happy, he hugged me but not too tightly, he said let me show you how to date a guy like me, you will be happy. "Let's have fun okay?". I nodded my head and he held my hand.
Looking back at my highschool days, I was happy, for a moment. But when I found out that Nicholas was going behind my back the first time, I just let it go. I was too naive then, not knowing there were many other girls he was seeing at the sametime as me. I went on to date him for 6 more years.
🃏When you're being made into a fool, be alert and find the strength to dismiss the person, any love connection can also be a hoax. Pretending to be real love when it's not. Don't wait years to reverse what you have done, disconnect when your are ready and don't keep calling the person who dumped you, and don't message the person you dumped.
Joe and I passed each other on the school hallways, the first time I fixed my hair and put on make up was in junior high and I smiled at him, and hoped he smiled at my way. The second time I saw him was at a Dance party, he was not alone, he was with a girl, black haired curly locks, wearing matching shirts saying "He's Mine", and "She's Mine", printed boldly in red paint. I truly learned to cry that day, I locked myself up in the loo all night. Crying my eyes out while I held my hands to my mouth to not make a sound. I didn't care if a group of girls are banging on the door, waiting for me to come out. I told them "Please go away, leave me alone!".
😍When you have feelings for a person who is not a friend or only an acquaintance, always be honest with yourself. Think of a future scenario, and imagine him within that image of you and this person. What do you see? Are you going to be happy? Is he going to love you the same way or even more than you do? Find the answers and stick to it. Don't get in situations you can't come out of on your own. Don't wait for this person to like you, tell them how you feel, and when you're holding it inside, either you let them know, or don't. How you feel about the person now, might not be the same after 5 to 10 years. So tread lightly, don't act hasty, if you are dumping a person or asking for their love.
I was adding Joe in social media because I wanted to reveal my feelings for him, I really wanted him to know. The night before I dreamnt of him, I was walking towards him, in a white dress, the place is full of flowers and he was smiling at me. He and I we were marrying each other, no one else is around us, only the two of us together. I kissed him, and he kissed me. I thought, what a beautiful dream I'm having! Then my alarm went off, it ends and I was alone again. Alone and betrayed by Nicholas, I felt really sad. I was depressed that's why I was not happy with my work, at home or any where else.
🌛When you are only dreaming about a person you love, it's normal to be hopeful. A dream is only an illusion, but it gives us hope. Find the time to realize that it's all it will ever be and wake up, start living again. Don't get yourself stuck in a lonely place. Don't blame others for your unhappiness. Learn to pick yourself up.
Now after I confessed my feelings for Joe, I stopped dreaming about him. Nowadays I'm dreaming of walking beside this faceless Man his hands holding my hand tightly, he ran with me towards the edge of a cliff. We stopped, asking ourselves, "Should We Fly?"...
I don't know the meaning of this dream yet, but I'm feeling better to know my heart is ready to forget
and maybe take the leap and love again 😳???
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