Chapter 5: Five
January 12
In the usual classroom, Alia sat in the plastic chair across from James's old seat. It's been three weeks since he confessed to her.
His confession had made it hard for her to focus on the holiday break and enjoy it with her family. She kept reliving it and thinking that she should've said this or should've said that. She knew it was futile to think about things she couldn't change.
Now it was January. She thought to herself, If he'd stayed, today would have marked five months of tutoring.
But he hadn't stayed. And today was just another day she spent moping in an empty classroom and thinking of all the moments they'd shared in this classroom in these very seats. On the sill, she saw the wilting plant.
Now that James wasn't here, he didn't water the plant. He'd taken it upon himself to keep the pitiful thing alive. She'd told him it was useless, but he'd insisted. James had triumphantly held up the plant when it had begun to be a darker green with more tiny leaves sprouting on its branches. He'd said, "I told you it wasn't a lost cause!"
She recalled how annoyed she'd gotten and how she'd threatened to throw it out the window if he didn't shut the heck up. Behind her crossed arms on the table, she let a small smile lift the corners of her lips. Then, she remembered he wasn't in the room to ask what she was smiling about and the smile turned to a sad line.
Too distracted by her memories, she didn't notice the gentle knock on the door or Alex as he slid into the seat beside her. He reached over and gently pinched her cheek. She jolted in her seat and swung her arm onto the table, spilling the open bottle of Pepsi onto the table. Abruptly, they both stood.
"Shoot, I'll go get paper towels real fast," Alex told her.
"Nah, don't worry, I'll get them. You should see if you can get the mop from the janitor." She told him. Before he could object she was bolting down the hall and towards the bathroom. When she went into the bathroom, she reached for the lever of the paper towel dispenser on the wall but stopped short when she saw her reflection.
She saw how dim her eyes were and the bags that accompanied them. Her usually curly hair seemed like even it felt the effects of her mood and hung in almost sad looking curls. Grabbing onto the edge of the sink, she stared her reflection in the eye. Why was his absence affecting her so much?
She ran the faucet and gathered a pool of water in her palms and threw it into her face. Droplets dripped from her nose and into the sink, down the drain. In her head, she told herself, Stop being a baby and get over it.
She pumped a small strip of paper towel out and dried her face before gathering some others in her hands to clean the spill in the classroom. When she arrived in the classroom, all the soda spilled on the floor was gone, only leaving a syrupy puddle on the table.
Hastily, she shoved the long strip of towels over the puddle and watched it seep into it. "I'm really sorry, babe," Alex told her with a hand on her shoulder. "I just came to ask what's going on." He took in her disheveled appearance. "You haven't really been yourself lately."
She didn't know what she would tell him. Tell him that her friend/student confessed his feelings to her and stopped coming to tutoring and now she was all depressed about it? That was out of the question. Instead of answering, she heaved a heavy sigh and leaned into him.
His arms encircled her. Her arms stayed limp at her sides as she simply stood there, accepting it. Alex's hands rubbed her back in a comforting rhythm.
She liked Alex. She knew she did. But what she felt for James was different. Stronger and more alive. Almost burning. It confused her to think about the two.
She couldn't have both without hurting the other.
Tears burned behind her eyelids. Alia was exhausted. Emotionally and physically. She hadn't gotten a good sleep since he'd told her, replaying it so many times in her head she could tell anyone exactly what he'd said to her that day and exactly what she'd said as well.
"I don't know what you're not telling me," Alex said to her even though she was only half listening. He never pushed for answers. She knew James would've. "But I'm sure it will end fine. Just be strong like I know you are."
What he didn't know was that it had already ended but it wasn't fine. It was eating at her. But she nodded like she agreed. Like maybe the outcome would be different from what it already was.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone