Chapter 16: Staring into the Abyss
I fell into a sinkhole created by a cartridge given to me by Vice Commander Lieman on the final moments of his life.
While falling, my mind recalled the past. The so-called [Revolving Lantern], if I would base it from the last novel that I read when I was in Earth.
I was just an ordinary high school student until a few weeks ago, when I along with the whole class we were sent in to this world. That's where it all started.
Then, while in here, while my classmates were given special abilities, I got none.
Afterwards I remembered that I tried my best when I got an opportunity to train with the other novice soldiers. It was difficult since it's my first time, but later on I got the gist of everything and made a few friends.
I remembered the moment when I saw the face of the most beautiful girl in our school looking at me up close under the moonlight, and the promise we made that night.
I remembered the pain of being left behind by my classmates as they march into the battlefield, a place far away from where I was.
I remembered the pain of seeing my comrades being killed in front of me. I saw how they died, and their anguished faces, telling me to keep living in their memory.
And then I fell on this hole.
That brief but painful replay of memories in my mind...even if I try, I can't tell my own mind to stop thinking of those moments.
Suddenly, after a few seconds I realized my current situation.
I managed to survive. I survived, I think.
My body's all painful right now, but I survived none the least. This pain is a sign that I'm still alive.
I looked down, I can't see anything as I fall. To where this hole leads is one thing I don't know.
So deep and so dark in here...is this a black hole?
Everything is dark, just like the swirling thoughts on my mind that's slowly overcoming me.
In the end I didn't do anything to save the Vice Commander, even Allen and all of the [Cannon Fodder]. All I did was to run, dodge and hide. I could only scream their names on their deaths, without any successful attempt of saving them. I can't even think of a way to avenge their deaths.
I also have [that] thing which I didn't even know what it was, and it caused the deaths of my important comrades.
To make things short, I 'killed' them.
I couldn't forgive myself for the things that happened. I couldn't forgive myself for relying too much on other people's strength. I couldn't forgive myself for doing nothing. I couldn't forgive myself for being weak.
I could cry, at least. But tears won't come out anymore no matter how hard I try. If humans could run our of tears, this might be
I think my mental state is on its red zone at this point. I don't know if I'm laughing or crying right now, and my sense of time and direction became disoriented as well. How many seconds has passed since I fell? I lost count already.
"Indeed, I'm the weakest, after a--"
I crashed to a hard place as I fell while thinking again of something. Is this the bottom of the hole?
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHGGGHHKKKK!!!"
My injuries had begun to bleed again due to the impact. To make things worse, my left leg is also fractured. I pressed my right hand on my left shoulder to stop the bleeding, as I gritted my teeth to endure the agonizing pain.
I have nothing to cover my wounds. I left the handkerchief Karen gave me before they left. I have no choice but two wait for either one of these two possibilities: either the bleeding would stop right away (which I think won't happen in my case), or slowly die while bathing in a pool made with my own blood.
I waited patiently either for my further survival, or my end.
After a few minutes, the bleeding had finally stopped. Thank goodness.
While still having a small sliver of hope in my mind I decided to walk through the abyss. My body wants to rest for a while, but my mind says that if I take a rest here, it would mean the end of me.
I dragged my left leg as I walk in the dark abyss without direction, just moving forward.
I continued to push my luck as I drag my body to a place I don't know. My pain seems to be numbed, but I think the reason for that is my mind begins to start going nuts.
If this goes on, I'll end up either dead or a person with madness.
Ah, my optimism's going down again, it seems.
"I want to at least get out of this dark hell before either of the two happens..." is what I said to myself.
After a few hours of being covered in creeping darkness, I saw a dot of light from a distance.
"Hahahahahaha. The light at the end of the tunnel..."
I laughed dryly as I let out a tasteless pun. I increased my pace, and eventually reached the end of the abyss.
I'm feeling so happy right now, like, I just won the grand prize in a raffle draw. Tears might be flowing again on my cheeks, maybe because of those emotions swelling up from within me.
"The light! Is...this the end, I wonder?"
I looked outside. I hoped that the outside is just a town somewhere or a forest, but my expectations were betrayed.
The one waiting for me as I got out of the dark abyss was a desert.
This is the [Rashaim Demon Desert], if I'm not mistaken. I remembered seeing that place from a map when I went inside the library a few days ago.
A desert wasteland on the boundaries of Arandel and Rashaim. It is comparatively smaller than the Sahara desert back on Earth, but the weather condition here is more severe. Extremely hot during the noon, extremely cold during nighttime.
"So I'm in Rashaim now, I guess?", I whispered to myself.
Amidst my awareness of the danger of being exposed to temperature extremes for prolonged periods of time, I have no choice but to move forward.
If I didn't die inside the abyss, maybe this one will definitely end me.
"'Might as well die if I won't try'. Right, Ren?" I asked myself as I started coming out of the darkness and into the steaming desert.
Anywhere I look, there are sand dunes and rock formations. If not for my situation, I would look around in wonder but the hot sand blew by the wind hit my body like I'm being sandblasted on a machine. My senses are a bit numb anyway, so I could only feel the heat. I noticed later that my body is filled with sand-covered wounds and my clothes has holes all over it.
I have nothing to protect myself from the heat of the sun, if I can't find a place like an oasis in this desert, I will be dead from dehydration and heat stroke.
After a few hours of dragging myself in the middle of nowhere, I felt my stomach grumbled.
I'm in a hot desert, with no food, water, tools, weapon and medicines, except my bloodied clothes and a pouch. A person having the same situation as I am would only think of suicide while in here.
I continued to search for an oasis. There must be some plants there if I could find one. I looked and looked as I walked, and I finally found a patch of green on the desert.
"Found...you!"
I rushed forward to see if it really is an oasis. Fortunately, it is. It is!
"Uwaaaaaaaa...water in the middle of the desert..Amaziiiiiiiiiiiing!"
My mind started to corrode due to pain, fatigue, hunger and thirst.
I rushed until I reached the oasis, then jumped towards the water to clean my body.
The water is unbelievably cool even under the very hot sun. As the water touched my wounds it felt like my injuries are being touched by a goddess, as the cold and refreshing feeling began soothing my senses.
After bathing I drank the water like a ferocious beast. That refreshing feeling of having something cold pass through your throat after some hours of not drinking anything--ah! It's the best drink that I've ever had!
I also searched for some plants to eat. I saw plants having black-colored fruits that looked like cherries. When I tasted it, it's bitter. I want to spit it out, but I have no other food than this, so I have no choice but to eat it. If not for the water I might be leaving this place right away.
As I eat the bitter fruit, I noticed that my wound on the left shoulder became smaller. The pain from the fracture on my left leg also started to be lessened, which surprised me.
"So this fruit has healing capabilities...I suppose."
I continued to eat as an experiment. The wounds really got smaller and smaller until there is none. I also tried moving my left leg, and it moved like normal again.
So certainly it has healing capabilities!
I decided to stock berries which I called [Demon Berries] in my pouch, and store water on an empty flask, which I found while bathing only a few minutes ago.
I will go to the next oasis with renewed determination to survive after I somewhat regained my sanity.
After a few minutes of rest, I left the oasis. Although I wanted to stay just for an hour longer, my instincts tell me otherwise.
While walking I saw a scorpion-like monster having about twice the size as mine.
"By any chance, is this a behemoth?", I muttered while taking a step back.
The behemoth youngling noticed my presence and crept towards me.
I also saw many behemoth younglings at a distance, but they don't seem to notice me.
Before I realized, I am inside a behemoth nesting ground.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone