Chapter 64: Triggered
Chitter chatters accompanied with a rush of ebullience around the base. Time spoke nonetheless like a damped oscillation, every of actions corresponding to a very slugging pace. I fell short of patience waiting for too long, was trudging to and fro before the office, until the secretary came by to inform me with, "You'll have to wait for a bit, Y/N. Sir's in a meeting right now. You can hand over the details to me."
"Okay. Sure then." I turned around for the elevator passing it on to her. Momo seemed to have been waiting for me as I arrived.
"He hasn't woken up yet."
"It's been long though. I will have to leave soon."
"You can go. I will notify you once he wakes up."
"Alright. Check me in on the rest."
"Nothing's found in his house. The letters are not to be found for sure I think. No info about the man behind them either. It's only him now left who can give off a clue right now."
Sighing in frustration, I picked up my bag and bid, "Okay. I will drop by in the evening when I can. I shall go now."
"Take care."
It was another of dog days, the sun trephining with all of its stoked-up heat, the sky a magnificent azure that no one could or would look up at now. Sooner the announcement of departure was made, I was pushed forward by people collectively and in a matter of moment, I was on the train and running for my destination. There was barely any seat left, minus the 'barely' and plus a 'no'. Other days in the subway it tended to be tedious with white noise and no interaction of people. But the office hour said otherwise. There were sighs and yells, fine screeches of random babies, and the rest handful of people ramping their annoyance out through collective words. I stared blankly at the mass loaded in the compartment. As vision starts to become a blur with your train of thoughts starting to arrive at its station, all the random faces in forth become one. It's how they immediately start to look like you, thousand clones of your face surrounding you. Once the mind train halts and reaches reality, the yourself inside gets supplanted with a makeover version. One you becomes a thousand you of different faces. You have to.
Someone's phone rang out in the midst, the gaggle of people trying to hide their ire finally finding their excuse to let it out. Sooner it got dissolved into the whispers and clinks of screeching metals. Even though the sound was faint, it came to me that I had heard the ringtone somewhere before, but couldn't affirm.
Then I heard the voice. Almost inaudible in the background of the sound of throng but indelible for the tonality it got, for me because of how connected the voice was to me. My heart sprang for a mere second confirming my brain of its presence. I needed to hear only a slight of it to know who the owner was.
My head motioned around in the specific direction as if I knew from the first where the source was. Blackcap and blue hoodie, crazy colored sneakers - with that attire and the aura of charm he had, even without any of it if he had stood in now's the populace of hundreds, one could ascertain from far who he was.
Jimin didn't seem to notice yet that I was staring at him. Seconds after he ended the call, he looked up directly in my way and blinked, leaving me sure he had seen me before I had.
I looked around. Riding the subway for what reason he had was not a good choice of action, on that in a busy hour as this. Going through the party of people around to reach him for a talk would only gain us, specifically him, more attention. I waited.
When the train reached the station, I looked back before getting out through the door. He was gone. Moments of wait and scan around the platform did no job either. He had as if vanished into the air, with me having myself at doubt if it was he who I had seen.
Momo's call arrived as soon as I was about to reach the entrance of the company building.
"He is up."
"Finally," I exclaimed.
"Had gone all nuts after, shrieking at the top of his lungs, now says wants to talk to you."
"Have him on. Let's have a chat."
"Alrighty then."
"Y/N!!" The growl seemed to echo from one ear to the other. I wished to see his face now, a grin of satisfaction was ready to stretch up my face.
"How're you doing, Mingyu?"
"What did you do to me last night?"
"Make a guess."
"You bi-"
"Seems like you don't recall everything yet. Shall I tell the boys to go easy on you until you recover?" I gave out a tsk, "No, I don't know if I should. Then you may use it as an excuse to rid the beat."
"I...will kill you the moment-"
"You can't. That's a possibility way too farfetched for you to reach now. You can see we're still giving you a chance since you aren't being taken to the detention cell yet. Better spill the rest of what we need or, you do know what's gonna happen to you otherwise. You are one of us after all, were, to the least."
"Then come and get it out of me." I could feel the vicious smirk from the other side, "I will see."
"Gosh. Still hold the audacity to challenge me, eh?" I motioned towards the elevator, "You chose your fate. I pity you."
'I pity you too. Doing all these just to get what- oh wait, I just remembered something - I know one thing." His voice grew tinglingly louder, as he whispered into the microphone, "Jimin, huh?"
I started. My hand stopped moving up to press the elevator button.
"What?"
"I remember the small talk you had with Momo. What was it again? Let me mull over, you must have grown an affectionate side for any of the members, and was it Jimin? That's the name I think I heard."
I gritted my teeth, pressing down the button hard to relish a part of the annoyance as if. "Stop with your delusions, sweetie. No, nothing's up like that."
"Then why are you getting angry? This only proves that I'm right." Mingyu snorted a fake laugh, "Haha. Y/N, Hybristophilia of everything? What a great show!"
"I will-"
"You wanna kill me now too? Then come over. Let's see who survives to the fittest."
I brushed it off with a smirk, "Doesn't seem like you can win. You will be shifted in an hour or so. Boss will be there soon to have a chat. And can you guess what will happen next?" I felt pleased with the drop of silence. "Good luck. I will see you in the evening."
"I hate you. I fucking hate you stupid moth-"
"I love you to the moon and back." Stutters of footsteps arrived from behind, I cut the call immediately. Jimin stood in the distance. Under the coruscating light, his bare face dulled with wrinkles and accentuated dark circles, he looked sick and tired, but a dazzling aura stuck onto him even at that, an aroma one couldn't smell away from. I paused and blinked twice looking at him, forgetting what I was about to say first.
"Hi." He said, voice gravy. "Manager-nim had been looking for you."
"Alright...Jimin, I saw you in the subway a while ago. Were you-"
"He's in PD-nim's office now. Told you to wait until he returns."
"...Okay." I paused, before adding, "I was asking-"
His eyes squinted with a hardened face, leaving me unsettled. I suddenly started to feel intimidated, "I-uh, you were in the subway today, right? I saw you."
It took a moment before he replied, "Yeah." as though he had much to think on what to reply.
"Where were you going?" To my question, he just kept staring. "You perhaps had seen me too, right?" I added.
The silence provided in the form of an answer only left me in awkwardness. Even the awkwardness had another tension as if asking the question was on my side of crime, that I shouldn't be asking him these.
"Yeah." He finally said back.
"Where were you headed from?"
"I don't wanna tell."
"I'm your manager, your safety is my-"
"Eh."
Eh...
"Fine." I chose to retreat, if he decided to ignore me, what could I even do? "I should be moving. See you later then.
Jimin walked behind. As I was entering my office, he stood outside the ajar door.
"Do you need something...?"
"No. The members aren't yet here for the practice so, I am all by myself now."
"You can come in and wait if you can't don't have anything to do." I scowled at myself inside just the moment it slipped off my tongue. Humbleness kills.
"I was planning for a small conversation. Thanks." He slid in closing the door, settling on the couch, and cast his gaze out the window, seemingly taking preparation for his talky talk. I cast a busy look on my visage picking up a random file, deciding to scribble nothing but be occupied with doing it, "What is it?"
"You see, regarding that day, in our dorm, I..." With the initiation of the topic, the entire memory flashed as vivid before my eyes- one single moment of having him so close, the sensation of his slow lips - my face heated up before I even knew it. I curled slightly into my own discomfort in my chair with the conjured up. Jimin seemed to have noticed the change of mood.
"I was impulsive. I'm sorry. It's been sagging my mind. If my actions left you uneasy, let's forget about all that and have a fresh start, can we?"
My lips sealed shut with my brain finding no instant accurate word to reply. A part of me desired to dissipate into the file in the fore.
"If I am being a bother anywhere, correct me."
"No." I hesitated with my words, "So you mean you...meant nothing of what you and I had..." I paused pregnantly, eyeing him to get a hint of what was on his mind. He couldn't have meant indifference. Every joule of heat from the earlier interaction delved into my brain allowing me to think he meant something, related to what I had felt. My heart sank deep down when he didn't take the initiative to fill out the blank in my sentence.
I chewed onto my lip lowering my gaze, keeping my voice as firm and impassive in return. I was not supposed to be the only one fragile in this state, "Yeah sure. Of course." Maybe he had never meant of anything, any part of it at all. It was just my core, going wreak havoc with the stupid hope of getting a gift of what called feelings in return. Why was I even expecting? Why should I give in to the immature hope of my mind? This was right, what he had been doing was right. I was the one who should snap out of it.
His eyes softened and he lounged back on the couch, "When will you be free? We don't have much to do after the practice these days. We could've hung out."
"Sure. Jungkook wanted to visit the arcade and was whining about the tight schedule just the day before yesterday." I said, using the member as a form of pretext, "We can-"
"I'm not talking about Jungkook," He sounded rather ticked with the suggestion, "I meant us."
"Sure..." No.
"How about today?"
"No. I have somewhere to go after work. Sorry. Sometime later."
"Ah." His tone lowered, dithering and appearing back next, "Meeting someone?"
"Hmm?"
"I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I heard you talking with someone over the phone."
"Oh? Uh, that, yeah." I feared what he might have heard on the phone.
"...someone close?" He fidgeted with his finger accessories while looking at me with seemingly puppy eyes, appearing cute. I wondered what he was indicating.
"Close? Umm...yes."
"I heard you say I love you and...I thought..."
"That-" I was about to laugh it off also being glad how the talk was transferred as wrong silly information but stopped. I stared at him for some time, replying instead with, "Not seeing someone exactly if that's what you mean, but I'm interested."
"I see. That's great to know too..." This was a better option to push him away and stop myself from getting triggered with my rush of emotions further.
"I wanna meet him."
"WIll do. He's a fan of y'all, will be glad to have a meetup too." The conversation fell short afterward. I got myself occupied with the office work, getting the feeling of constant stares from the other human in the room as he fiddled with his phone on the couch.
"Y/N..."
"Yeah?"
"Since when have you been interested in...the guy?"
"It's been a few months."
"Where did you guys meet? If you don't mind me asking."
"On a blind date. One of my friends got introduced him to me."
"Oh." He was dubious with his words, "You said you are only interested but...what you were saying on the phone was...I'm sorry I don't mean to interfere with your privacy, I shouldn't be saying this." He muttered it but the look in his eyes showed earnest desire to get a feed for his mind.
Yeah, you shouldn't be saying this because I have no answer.
"Okay. I will stop asking further questions. I must be disturbing you. Go on with your work."
I breathed out in relief to that. Not too late, he came back, "Y/N."
"Yeah." I was expecting it already.
There was nothing back in answer. I waited, adding later, "What do you wanna say?"
He stared into the yonder of my face for a long while, taking a test of my patience as if. I asked again, "Do you have something to say? If not, I need to carry on with my work."
"What do you think of me?"
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