funny 911 call stories

My name is Qi Yuan, and I am a time traveler who now holds the esteemed title of the eldest martial brother at Seven Colours Peak. I am armed with a game jade slip capable of connecting realms across the heavens, and blessed with the ability to unveil hidden information through my discerning eyes. [A seemingly ordinary blade of grass reveals secrets of a clandestine meeting between True Man Ku Mu and Empress Dashang that transpired just three days prior.] [Her name is Ruan Yixi, who appears to be your beautiful master on the surface, but she may have a deeper connection, perhaps she is even your wife.] [This is Heavenly Dao of the World, a Spiritual Object renowned for its significance in Foundation Establishment] [This is a lifeless planet, a potential vessel for the creation of a Golden Elixir]. So my road of cultivation turns gradually strange. "Heavenly Dao? A Spiritual Object for Foundation Establishment?" "So many desolate planets, all refined into Golden Elixir!" The Heavenly Dao is used as the foundation and refining stars into Golden Elixir. I am Qi Yuan, I become the origin of all things. My name is Jiang Lingsu, a fellow disciple at Seven Colours Peak. My Senior Brother is mentally ill. He is never focused on work. Nor does he like cultivation. He only loves simulation games. Senior Brother says, "Playing games is like cultivation. It can also create a world." One day, there is one more sun in the sky. I ask him what it is, he says, "That is my Golden Elixir!" This book is also titled 'Cultivation: The Jade Slip's Universe' and 'The Golden Elixir I Cultivated is a Planet,'

# VR With the invasion of foreign races, the online game, Divine Realm, fused with reality and caused the real world to become digitalized. Everyone could awaken their own talent and raise their levels and strengths inside Divine Realm to defend themselves against foreign races. During the invasion, Lin Feng, a divine level expert of the Dragon Country, was betrayed and murdered by Qianye Yuan, the divine level guardian of the Island Country. After his death, Lin Feng woke up and realized that he had reincarnated back to the time just before he entered college, a day before the talent test for the Divine Realm game. He had awakened the SSS-grade talent, All Methods Known, that no one had ever seen before. He could master the abilities of every class and could use experience points to level up his abilities. To make it even better, there was no growth limit for his abilities. [Jade Emperor’s Immortal Body: Double all basic attributes with each level up.] [Space Traveller: Able to move freely through spaces (500 + 50% magic attack) x Skill Level / Effect Range.] [Frozen Ice Shard: Launch an ice spear. The ice spear will explode after hitting an enemy, causing 200% magical damage to the enemy. The ice shards will spread out and damage all enemies within a 30 meters radius, causing 80% magical damage to the enemies. Enemies hit by the skill will be affected by a 50% speed reduction for 1 minute.] [Blazing Tempest: …]

The abyss has breached the real world, placing humanity in grave peril as the shadow of death looms over every individual. Only the Supreme Being can lead humanity to ultimate victory. For too long, humanity has awaited the arrival of the fourth Supreme Being! To become a Supreme Being, one must possess the highest level of talent. An "SSS-tier" talent, representing the pinnacle of power, is capable of advancing an entire era. Finally, a hundred years later, a young man named Mike awakened to an SSS-tier talent called the "Eyes of Truth." These eyes can reveal hidden information and entries of anything, while also providing some bizarre hints. With the help of his SSS-tier talent, Mike, adopting the alias Thor in the Tower of Truth, continued to create miracles for humanity. As a newly risen Supreme Being, Mike had to conceal his identity before he fully matured. Thus, everyone considered him just an ordinary student, and no one knew that Mike was the legendary Thor. It wasn't until many years later, after humanity had defeated the invaders and restored order, that Mike could finally proudly say to those around him, "Just call me Thor."

Chu Feng was transmigrated to a world of tamers, where everyone would gain their unique tamer talent at the age of 16. With the tamer talent, one could create a tamer space and form a contract with a beast. Chu Feng was shocked when he learned that he had gained the SSS-rank tamer talent. “Hah! My tamer talent is C-rank strengthening class! Behold! The Spirit Multiplier!” “I have the B-rank talent, Flame Fusion! It’ll be a piece of cake for me to tame a flame beast!” “I can enhance my beast’s battle will…” Chu Feng couldn’t help but get lost in thought when he heard his classmates boasting about their talents. The talent that he had received was the SSS-rank Infinite Growth. As long as he had enough resources, he could rank his beast up to an undefeatable stage. When he finally summoned his beasts, the others couldn’t help but drop their jaws. The first was a 1.8m tall Desolated Bear that could smash a hill with a wave of its arm… The second was a Phantom Butterfly that could destroy another dimension with a wave of its wings… “Is he still a tamer?” the rest scolded.

This is a story of an ordinary boy gaining unusual powers from his nightmares... It all started when Lin Sheng experienced something strange on what he thought was just another normal day. He begins to have recurring dreams that lead him on an incredible journey of discovery as he encounters spine-chilling monsters and elusive secrets.

If you were given a chance to obtain Power or Happiness, which one would you choose? Kate once had it all. Clothes, food, a place to stay, and a loving family. However, it all ended when her parents were murdered by a mysterious organization. Stella, her split personality, was the reason she barely made it out with her life. A few years passed as she lived everyday in desperation. Tired, hungry, bitter, and on the verge of collapse, she was saved by a young boy when things took a turn for the worse. His name was Ciel Summers, her future dearest one. Things were going smoothly until she managed to pass the entrance exam to the prestigious Saint Claire Academy. Hidden schemes played behind the scenes as a serum capable of awakening the latent powers of anyone below the age of 15 was developed. They set their eyes on the elite students of the academy, and kidnapped Ciel, who became an unwilling test subject. It was the beginning of a series of events, which led Kate to discover the name of the organization that killed her parents and the secrets that were buried deep within her body. ----- If you get tired of the Kiddy Arc and want to read their adult lives then feel free to jump chapter 327, but I doubt you'll understand anything at that point xD! [Disclaimer: I will be changing POV's from time to time. This is how I wanted this story to be written. So please, bear with me. Thank you.] Updates: 1 chapter a day. Feel free to donate in my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/YourSir Chat with me on discord!: https://discord.gg/haeYN7N ---------- Feel free to check out my other story! "Go! Go! Summons: Summoning the Perfect Boyfriend" [Fantasy Romance, Female Lead, Comedy, Slice of Life.] https://www.webnovel.com/book/17411890805745005/Go!-Go!-Summons! Special thanks to RedPandaChick for helping me edit my novel. Thank you very much! P.S Cover Photo is not mine. All credit goes to their respective owners.

This novel is an "always-ongoing" novel containing a compilation of fictional funny stories. New fictional funny stories will be added to new chapters in this book over time.

The protracted 'witch hunting' had faded into silence with the end of the Seven Years' War, and the mysteries of the East Coast had begun to conceal themselves, yet gunpowder was on a rapid rise. Mo Qishang, who should have been utterly confounded, stood at the crossroads of destiny in the name of Arthur. He stared in astonishment at the charging knights, the wizards atop the high towers, and the bizarre wilderness. He felt the sharpness of the longsword and the recoil of the firearm, both clear and unfamiliar. At last, he excitedly shook his robe and, with a smile on his face, said— "Do not believe what I say, for to believe is to exist!"

Su Jie, capable of traveling between Blue Star and the Cultivation World, discovered that cultivation was just too difficult. Spirit Pills, Magic Artifacts, Pocket Worlds, and inherent comprehension—each was a mountain on the long road to immortality. Not until Su Jie found out that Demon Cultivators refined corpses by killing, extracted souls to cultivate fiends, and used fear as sustenance for their cultivation. Need souls to consecrate a Soul Summoning Banner? Get to know the pig farms that slaughter millions of pigs a year. Need human fear to cultivate fierce ghosts? Stock up on ghost houses, horror films, and horror games... Need fresh blood for Demon Techniques? Across the ocean, America is the world's largest grey market blood transfusion station... ...... Years later. "You devil, how many people have you killed? And you still have the face to call yourself a good person? Pah, today I shall act on behalf of heaven to mete out justice." The Tianyuan World's most beautiful person's eyebrows were furrowed with rage, as she stared at the terrifying Devil before her, enveloped in wronged souls, with thousands of ghosts parading on his Soul Banner, seated in a palace made of bones, she posed her soulful question. The Devil slowly stood up and pulled out a business card that read "Hua Country's Philanthropist of the Year / Founder of the World's Largest Chain of Ghost Houses / Owner of Blue Star's Largest Livestock Slaughter Business / Emerging Tycoon of the Entertainment Industry." "You see, I'm really not a devil, okay? Nowadays, who still uses such a lowly method as killing people to cultivate as a devil!"

This novel contains a compilation on funny chats to entertain all of you. One chapter refers to one chat.