Well, it's a horrible situation. If it were me, I would probably distance myself from my friend immediately. As for my wife, I'd have to decide if I could forgive her. If the pregnancy is going to continue, there are many things to consider, like financial support. But really, this whole thing is a mess that no one wants to be in.
No. Spying is generally not ethical. In relationships, trust is fundamental. If you suspect something wrong between your wife and your friend, it's better to communicate openly rather than spying. For example, in most healthy relationships, talking it out clears misunderstandings.
Perhaps the friend stories often involve deep emotions or strong relationships. Your wife may be very empathetic and when she hears about the joys, sorrows, or close bonds in these stories, it stirs something in her on an emotional level, which in turn makes her feel aroused in a sense of being fully engaged and affected.
One possible reason could be that the friend stories are filled with a sense of adventure or novelty. Maybe they involve exciting experiences like traveling to exotic places or trying new things that she finds appealing on a subconscious level.
One story might be that your friend is a musician. When he visits your home, he starts playing the guitar. Your wife, who loves music, joins in and they start singing together. This creates a great atmosphere and from that moment, they often share music playlists and discuss different music genres. They might even go to local music concerts together. This kind of interaction can bring a lot of joy to both of them and also add a new dimension to your family's social life.
One story could be that a man noticed his wife and friend acting strangely when they were together. He started to spy on them by secretly following them to a coffee shop. There, he saw them having an intense conversation that seemed rather secretive. But in the end, it turned out they were planning a surprise birthday party for him.
Another story might be that my wife was alone with my friend at a coffee shop waiting for me. They started discussing books as they both love reading. They got so engrossed in the conversation that they didn't notice the time passing. By the time I got there, they had a list of books to recommend to each other and were excited to tell me all about their literary chat.
Sharing one's wife with a best friend is completely unethical in most ethical frameworks. Marriage is a bond based on loyalty, commitment, and exclusivity between two people. It violates the trust and respect that should exist within a marital relationship.
First, try to have an open conversation with her about it. Let her know how you feel and also ask her more about why these stories have such an effect on her.
First, you can try to be open - minded. Have a calm conversation with her about it, expressing that you've noticed this and you're curious. Avoid judgment.