man shoots self with taser joke story

After forming a blood pact with the Saint and Demon ladies, the good-for-nothing young boy obtained the Yin-Yang divine veins, learned the art of alchemy and martial arts, and dominated the world. The young Shen Xiang had a romantic encounter with a goddess and a witch, and obtained their supreme inheritance, acquired a divine vein that defied the heavens, learned peerless magical skills, and mastered superb alchemy techniques, which made him very successful on the road of martial arts... When he was hungry, he would refine some pills as snacks, when he was lonely, he would flirt with the high and mighty goddess, when he was bored, he would play with those martial arts masters who came to ask for pills, and when he was tired, he would let the delicate wives around him give him massages... Author : Silent little thief

The betrothal gift is two million bucks, not a single cent less. Jiang Yu is already eighteen years old and can get married now. Send the money to my card, and this matter is settled!" Jiang Yu looked at her mother, who was talking non-stop on the negotiation table. She watched as her mother named her price as she sold Jiang Yu. Jiang Yu could not believe it. Eighteen years ago, they brought the wrong baby home from the hospital, and Jiang Yu, the real daughter of a wealthy family, ended up in an orphanage until a year ago. Jiang Ran, the fake daughter of the Jiang family, grew up with a silver spoon in her mouth. With superior resources since she was young, she was more outstanding than Jiang Yu in every aspect and became the pride of the Jiang family. Jiang Yu, who wandered most of her time in the outside world, was nothing but a country bumpkin who made her mother a laughing stock in the socialite circle. However, Jiang Yu had no idea how great her mother's hatred for her was. On the day she turned eighteen, her mother 'sold' her with a named price. Jiang Yu said, "If you want to marry your daughter to someone else, it should be Jiang Ran. I'm your real daughter. You're the one who mistakenly brought Jiang Ran home!" Her mother replied, "Shut up. I wish I hadn't given birth to you. You've brought nothing but shame to me!" Jiang Ran said, "Big Sis, everything Mom does is for your own good. Don't blame Mom." Her mother said, "I'm convinced she's nothing but a debt collector who's come to me to collect her debts! Either you give me two million bucks, or you get married obediently!" Jiang Yu left home in despair. By a freak combination of factors, she found herself accidentally marrying a Mr. CEO. From then on, the thirty-year-old man pampered his eighteen-year-old wife to the heavens. The little girl said, "Mister, someone bullied your wife!" The man, "Which incompetent fool is so blind that he dares to bully you?"

Su Wen read a popular period novel about a heroic man who was tough, gave women a sense of security, and was also somewhat cunning and flirty. He was exactly the kind of man she liked. Hence, she paid one million in subscription fees and transmigrated as the male lead's terrible ex-wife. In the novel, the original host was someone who waited at home for love to come knocking on the door. Although she never thought about starting a family, she was a hopeless romantic. Even when the male lead, Jin Datui, eventually showed up, she was persuaded by the sly female lead to fall for a jerk in the nearby village. After Su Wen transmigrated into the novel, she clung to Jin Datui. She worked hard to go from rags to riches. In the end, her younger sisters all became jealous. They cried about wanting to meet a man by waiting at home, just like she did. They even claimed they would name their children with her surname if they had children. Hence, Su Wen began choosing suitable husbands for her sisters. All the candidates were handsome, talented, and well-built. They all came from influential families too. It was so hard to choose! A certain someone, who felt neglected in the corner, pinned her against the door. "Are they as handsome as I am? Are they as well-built as I am? Are their families as influential as mine?" "But... They're my sisters' potential husbands," Su Wen said. "I belong to you. You can have my savings and even my life," he replied. Su Wen woke up the next day to find twenty bank books by her side. She became deep in thought...

(My new book "Sweet Love in the Countryside: His Little Plum of the Mountains" is out now, please add it to your collection) The village leader's son bullied her too much — in order to break off their engagement, he pushed her into a large water tank. She defiantly declared in front of the village leader's son that she would rather marry the ugliest man in the village than marry him! That hunchbacked, ugly man, the so-called "freak," actually approached her: "Does your declaration still stand?" "Uhm..." And so, while you hunt, I water the vegetables; while you farm, I do the embroidery. Together, we work hard, become prosperous, and live a colorful and thriving life. However, this man who can hunt in the mountains, farm on land, and ride the waves on a boat is not as simple as he seems... he is actually...

The Xiao family, known as the poorest amongst the mountaineers had just spent all their savings as dowry for a daughter-in-law, who was disfigured, dark, skinny, and mute. Mocked as the ugliest bride within miles, she eventually had enough of a life in poverty and escaped, only to fall in the hands of rogues who murdered her. When she opened her eyes again, her soul was now that of a killer's, and her disfigurement was healed while her unhealthily tanned skin was now fair as day.... And she could also talk! As she became the most beautiful bride. Villagers kept their distance from the Xiao family, claiming that they were jinxes. But despite her poverty, the bride was fortunate to have a loyal mountaineer husband who spoiled her to bits. Hence, the bride guided her husband to riches, buying farms and tending to them diligently, while starting a family to gain riches through blood and sweat.

The night before their wedding, her fiancé ran off with his mistress. Out of frustration, she grabbed the man standing in front of the Civil Affairs Office, "President Chadwick, your bride has not arrived and my groom has run away...May I suggest we get married?" Before marriage, she said, "Even if we were to share the same bed, nothing would happen between us!" After marriage, he said, "If we don't try, how would we know?"

【Soft and Cute Female Lead VS Gentle and Rough Male Lead】 The new book "Hey, The Ancestors Are Coming" has been uploaded Neither cherished by her father nor loved by her mother, from a poor family and overweight, married to a man who is not a good catch, Chen Hansui thought she was dealt a bad hand in life. Only after she died did she find out that her mother was a woman of power and her husband, a future local tyrant, loved her madly. Seeing the world from a different perspective changed everything... Upon her rebirth at the age of 20, Hansui decided to turn the bad cards she was dealt into a winning hand. However, facing the village's most notorious mother-in-law, a weird and wacky sister-in-law, and a husband who isn't exactly a catch... The soft and adorable Hansui cries out, "I can't do this." The male lead: "I think you still have a fighting chance. Here, let me give you a little 'mouth-to-mouth resuscitation'." Minefield: The male lead in this story is not much of a catch, with his only redeeming quality being that he treats the female lead well. The female lead is a sticky and adorable little thing. Even the outrageous mother-in-law and the sharp-tongued sister-in-law adore her. There's really not much to fight about. Villains who encounter such an adorable female lead automatically have 99% of their IQ blocked. Being the darling of the group means only sweetness lies ahead. Zhalang: Written by sweet-stylized Niuniu Mi Goose flock: 346251814

As a prison guard, Nathan Evans was not busy with his work. For some reason, all his prisoners were highly obedient and would always respect him even after they got out of prison. However, not everyone would show him respect. Especially when his fiancee Jade broke their engagement in front of everyone. For over a decade, Nathan had been "kind" enough to his prisoners. And now, he would show his "kindness" to the whole world...

Strong? Handsome? Savage? Badass? It's all about the intelligence quotient, my friend. ———— PS: Mutation shouldn't be mistaken for enlightenment.

"I've destroyed your face. Let's see how you'll seduce men now!" "I want to pluck all your hair too. Let's see how you'll seduce other married men!" The woman screamed while she cut off Mei Shu's hair. She then directly stabbed the scissors into her head and put an end to her pitiful life. Mei Shu had already been bedridden for over ten years. Her face was practically unrecognizable. Her four younger brothers were either injured, crippled, sick, or barely alive. This was all thanks to the woman next to her bed. Many years ago, Mei Shu's mother died in a car accident. Not long after that, her stepmother moved in with her stepsister, Mei Mu. Mei Shu's stepmother found a way to send Mei Shu to the countryside. After that, Mei Shu's stepmother and stepsister slowly took over all the Mei family's possessions. When Mei Shu was about to turn eighteen, they brought her home. The only reason they did that was to acquire the inheritance her mother left behind. After that, they kept plotting and scheming against her. They sowed discord between Mei Shu and her four younger brothers. Until the day Mei Shu died in the hospital, her brothers still had no idea she wasn't the one who started the fire that ruined their lives. After dying, Mei Shu refused to move on. She reincarnated to the time she was seventeen with her own system. She wanted to change her fate and rescue her brothers! In their previous lifetime, she and her brothers treated each other like enemies. In this lifetime... "Mei Shu, I'll do anything you tell me to," her first brother said. "Who dares to bully my sister?" Her second brother asked. "Mei Shu belongs to me!" Her third brother exclaimed. "Do you wish to marry my sister? Let's see if you have what it takes!" Her fourth brother uttered. [System: Quest completed! You'll be rewarded with a husband!"