christian jokes funny stories

A priest, a pastor and a rabbi were discussing what they do with the money they collect from their congregations. The priest said, 'I draw a big circle on the floor, throw all the money up in the air, and whatever lands inside the circle, I give to God, and whatever lands outside, I keep for myself.' The pastor said, 'Well, I do the same, but I draw a much smaller circle.' Then the rabbi said, 'I don't do that at all. I just throw all the money up in the air and whatever God wants, He keeps.' This joke plays on the different religious figures and their attitudes towards money in a humorous way.

Here's a joke. A pastor was visiting an elderly parishioner. As he was leaving, he said, 'May the Lord watch between me and thee while we are absent one from another.' The old lady replied, 'Well, don't drive too fast. He can't see both of us at the same time!'.

Joke: What's the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can't beat it! Regarding a story, in a small parish, there was a family who couldn't afford a big Christmas dinner. The other church members found out and secretly prepared a whole feast for them. When they delivered it on Christmas day, the family was overjoyed. It was a beautiful display of Christian love and the spirit of Christmas.

Another one is about a family during Lent. The parents decided to give up sweets, but their little daughter found a stash of chocolate. When they caught her, she said, 'But Jesus would want me to be happy, and chocolate makes me happy!' It's a cute and funny take on how children might misunderstand religious practices. In reality, Lent is about self - discipline and spiritual growth, but the child's innocent reasoning makes for a humorous story. Well, of course, the parents had to gently explain the real meaning to her.

Here's another. A priest was trying to teach his congregation about patience. He said, 'When you pray, think of it like waiting for a really slow elevator. You know it's coming, but it takes time.' And an old lady in the back said, 'Well, Father, I've been waiting for that elevator for 50 years now!' This shows how people can have different perspectives on religious teachings in a humorous way.

Joke: The pastor told the congregation that their church was so poor it had to send their bell to the foundry. So they were having a 'no bell' service. A little boy asked, 'Does that mean it's a 'devil - may - care' service?' Story: A young girl was praying very hard for a new bike. She prayed every night for weeks. Finally, her mother told her that God doesn't just give you things like that. You have to work for them. The girl thought for a moment and said, 'Well, I'll just keep praying then because I don't know how to make a bike.'

A young girl was praying and said, 'Dear God, if You can't make me a better girl, don't worry about it. I'm having a great time like this!' It's a humorous take on a child's prayer. She's so honest and carefree in her communication with God.

Here's one. A priest was driving and got pulled over for speeding. The police officer asked, 'Father, were you in a rush?' The priest said, 'Sorry, son. I was daydreaming about my sermon.' The officer just laughed and let him go with a warning.

Short story: In a small town, a Christian family took in a stray dog. They fed it, bathed it and gave it a warm place to sleep. One day, the dog led them to a lost child in the woods. The family was so glad they had shown kindness to the dog. It shows how kindness in the Christian spirit can have unexpected good results. Kindness towards animals can also be a form of following Christian teachings.

Here is a short story. A priest was walking by a construction site and saw a man working hard. The priest said, 'My son, you should take a break and remember God is watching over you.' The man replied, 'I'm the foreman. I don't need God to watch over me, I'm in charge here.' Later, a brick fell and almost hit the man. He quickly said, 'Father, I think I need God to watch over me after all!'