call of cthulhu rpg funny stories

My name is Qi Yuan, and I am a time traveler who now holds the esteemed title of the eldest martial brother at Seven Colours Peak. I am armed with a game jade slip capable of connecting realms across the heavens, and blessed with the ability to unveil hidden information through my discerning eyes. [A seemingly ordinary blade of grass reveals secrets of a clandestine meeting between True Man Ku Mu and Empress Dashang that transpired just three days prior.] [Her name is Ruan Yixi, who appears to be your beautiful master on the surface, but she may have a deeper connection, perhaps she is even your wife.] [This is Heavenly Dao of the World, a Spiritual Object renowned for its significance in Foundation Establishment] [This is a lifeless planet, a potential vessel for the creation of a Golden Elixir]. So my road of cultivation turns gradually strange. "Heavenly Dao? A Spiritual Object for Foundation Establishment?" "So many desolate planets, all refined into Golden Elixir!" The Heavenly Dao is used as the foundation and refining stars into Golden Elixir. I am Qi Yuan, I become the origin of all things. My name is Jiang Lingsu, a fellow disciple at Seven Colours Peak. My Senior Brother is mentally ill. He is never focused on work. Nor does he like cultivation. He only loves simulation games. Senior Brother says, "Playing games is like cultivation. It can also create a world." One day, there is one more sun in the sky. I ask him what it is, he says, "That is my Golden Elixir!" This book is also titled 'Cultivation: The Jade Slip's Universe' and 'The Golden Elixir I Cultivated is a Planet,'

"The Way can be understood, and surname can be named, but not ordinary. Without a name, it's the beginning of heaven and earth. With a name, it's the mother of all things. Well, there might be another 'name,' called the Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young, hehe..." "I've achieved enlightenment! I've achieved enlightenment! HAHAHAHAHA!!!" Watching his fellow Daoist whose skull has split open, the ribcage torn, growing wings of flesh, and flying into the sky, Li Fan, with lingering fear, stops his sermon for the day. "Sigh, I can't just blabber about the Daoist skill anymore, I've driven another one mad..."

In the world, there were gods who obeyed the rules, whether good or evil. But there were also evil gods who defied the rules. When a traverser was confronted by the rules that he could never conform to, the resulting collision marks the beginning of the story of an evil god… This is the story of a good man who transformed into a great jellyfish, then traversed his world to arrive at a world of swords and magic. His journey of searching and exploring eventually led to him remaking nature and changing the world.

There was a classic saying that prevailed in the era of thermal weapons. "All fear comes from insufficient firepower." Don't believe? Looking at the muzzle of a cannon bigger than your head, and say it again? ... Starting off by being kidnapped, in order to survive, Gao Guang was forced to become a member of a private military contractor. And thus, an unexpected legend began to unfold... Stallone from [First Blood]? Jason Statham from [The Expendables]? Keanu Reeves from [John Wick], the one who's best at using all kinds of firearms? Come on, all of these are nothing compared to Gao Guang!！ --- Finally, until one day, in the field of private military forces, he completely made the term "Gao Guang moment" became a professional term! Countless criminals, mercenaries, murderers, and private armed organizations would pee their pants at the mention of the name Gao Guang! "Hello, my name is Gao Guang." "I am dedicated to providing war-related peripheral services, including but not limited to force, arms, intelligence, and technical support." "As the conscience of the industry, our quality is trustworthy. Please don't hesitate, don't pinch your goddamn wallet, and make an appointment with my beautiful secretary as soon as possible. Warm reminder, we only accept cash." "Gao Guang, Your best choice!"

# VR With the invasion of foreign races, the online game, Divine Realm, fused with reality and caused the real world to become digitalized. Everyone could awaken their own talent and raise their levels and strengths inside Divine Realm to defend themselves against foreign races. During the invasion, Lin Feng, a divine level expert of the Dragon Country, was betrayed and murdered by Qianye Yuan, the divine level guardian of the Island Country. After his death, Lin Feng woke up and realized that he had reincarnated back to the time just before he entered college, a day before the talent test for the Divine Realm game. He had awakened the SSS-grade talent, All Methods Known, that no one had ever seen before. He could master the abilities of every class and could use experience points to level up his abilities. To make it even better, there was no growth limit for his abilities. [Jade Emperor’s Immortal Body: Double all basic attributes with each level up.] [Space Traveller: Able to move freely through spaces (500 + 50% magic attack) x Skill Level / Effect Range.] [Frozen Ice Shard: Launch an ice spear. The ice spear will explode after hitting an enemy, causing 200% magical damage to the enemy. The ice shards will spread out and damage all enemies within a 30 meters radius, causing 80% magical damage to the enemies. Enemies hit by the skill will be affected by a 50% speed reduction for 1 minute.] [Blazing Tempest: …]

Did I reincarnate? Or was I transported to an Isekai cultivation world? To be honest, I have no clue! What matters is that I turned from being useless, bullied, and trash, to fully-fledged garbage in my new cultivation world! But what is this strange bleep that keeps ringing in my ears? Is this some kind of system? Oh God! Did you gift me such a cliché, right at the start of my journey? Wait, why are you trying to kill me? Did I do something to you? Stand back or I will be forced to use unstoppable Exhudia! Tell me, what did she do for you to treat your significant other in this way? Let me show you how girlfriends should be taken care of! Wait, everyone was always telling me that demons are bad, so why is this demonic queen trying to seduce me? Wait! KEEP YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM MY PRECIOUS SWORD! I just came back from a mission and was promised at least a half a year of break. Why are you bothering me again with something as silly as subjugating a devil general? ********************** Discord link: https://discord.gg/pJTVGZZ ********************* DISCLAIMER: I do not own the cover. It was made with the help of fellow author(ess?) with the usage of possibly copyrighted images. If you own the rights to any part of the cover and want me to take it down, please, inform me on my discord or comment.

The abyss has breached the real world, placing humanity in grave peril as the shadow of death looms over every individual. Only the Supreme Being can lead humanity to ultimate victory. For too long, humanity has awaited the arrival of the fourth Supreme Being! To become a Supreme Being, one must possess the highest level of talent. An "SSS-tier" talent, representing the pinnacle of power, is capable of advancing an entire era. Finally, a hundred years later, a young man named Mike awakened to an SSS-tier talent called the "Eyes of Truth." These eyes can reveal hidden information and entries of anything, while also providing some bizarre hints. With the help of his SSS-tier talent, Mike, adopting the alias Thor in the Tower of Truth, continued to create miracles for humanity. As a newly risen Supreme Being, Mike had to conceal his identity before he fully matured. Thus, everyone considered him just an ordinary student, and no one knew that Mike was the legendary Thor. It wasn't until many years later, after humanity had defeated the invaders and restored order, that Mike could finally proudly say to those around him, "Just call me Thor."

Chu Feng was transmigrated to a world of tamers, where everyone would gain their unique tamer talent at the age of 16. With the tamer talent, one could create a tamer space and form a contract with a beast. Chu Feng was shocked when he learned that he had gained the SSS-rank tamer talent. “Hah! My tamer talent is C-rank strengthening class! Behold! The Spirit Multiplier!” “I have the B-rank talent, Flame Fusion! It’ll be a piece of cake for me to tame a flame beast!” “I can enhance my beast’s battle will…” Chu Feng couldn’t help but get lost in thought when he heard his classmates boasting about their talents. The talent that he had received was the SSS-rank Infinite Growth. As long as he had enough resources, he could rank his beast up to an undefeatable stage. When he finally summoned his beasts, the others couldn’t help but drop their jaws. The first was a 1.8m tall Desolated Bear that could smash a hill with a wave of its arm… The second was a Phantom Butterfly that could destroy another dimension with a wave of its wings… “Is he still a tamer?” the rest scolded.

This is a story of an ordinary boy gaining unusual powers from his nightmares... It all started when Lin Sheng experienced something strange on what he thought was just another normal day. He begins to have recurring dreams that lead him on an incredible journey of discovery as he encounters spine-chilling monsters and elusive secrets.

Do I really have to treat the heroines of the story well, even if they hate me? Do I really have to avoid the villainess even if they are the ones who accept me? This is the story of a young man trapped in the world of the erotic game he played as the weakest and most hated villain of the game. ---------------------------------0---------------------- Chapter lengths are 1000-2000 words. Two chapters every day. -----------0--------------- You can check my discord if you want. You will be able to see the illustrations here and engage in a conversation with me if I am available. https://discord.gg/yMKGEdZSfb