funny 2 line stories

One: I told my dog he was adopted. He looked at me, sniffed, and went back to sleep. He doesn't care. Another: I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, 'They're right behind you!'

Story 1: A cat saw a mirror. It thought it was another cat. So it hissed for an hour. Story 2: I told my plant a joke. It didn't laugh. Maybe it needs better ears. Story 3: I bought shoes online. They looked great. But they were for the wrong foot.

A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

Once I was in the grocery line and the person in front of me had a cart full of nothing but different kinds of cat food. And their cat was actually sitting on top of the cart looking all proud. It was really funny.

Well, this one is good. A guy goes to the doctor. Doctor: 'What seems to be the problem?' Guy: 'I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.' Doctor: 'Didn't the new glasses help?' Guy: 'Sure, now I see the spots more clearly.' Another one: I got carded at the liquor store. I showed my library card. They were not amused.

A: I'm reading a book on anti - gravity. It's impossible to put down. B: I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. Then I realized they just wanted me to clean the floors.

There was this story where a boy approached a girl and said, 'Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.' It was such a classic line. The girl blushed and they ended up having a great conversation. Chat up lines like these can be a fun way to start a connection, even if they are a bit corny. They show the person's interest in a light - hearted way.

Here are two -line funny stories. Story 1: My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away. Story 2: I'm reading a book about anti -gravity. It's impossible to put down.

Sure. Story 1: I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. Story 2: I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make it to the gym on Tuesdays.'

One: A cat went to the vet. The vet said, 'Your cat is just fat.' The cat hissed, 'I'm not fat, I'm just big -boned!' Another: A duck walked into a bar and asked, 'Got any grapes?' The bartender said no. The duck left. Next day, the duck came back and asked again. Bartender said no. Duck left. Third day, duck came and asked, 'Got any grapes?' Bartender, annoyed, said, 'No, and if you ask again, I'll nail your beak shut!' Next day, duck came and asked, 'Got any nails?' Bartender said no. Duck said, 'Good. Got any grapes?'