funny pick up stories

After five years, Ning Xi returned to the place that had pushed her away — home. With a sister who turned her parents against her and made her childhood sweetheart betray her, the odds seemed grey. However, five years abroad had changed her, and she came home to fulfil her childhood dream of becoming an actress. Despite her evil sister still out to get her, tables will be turned. One day, after falling into one of her sister's schemes, she saves an adorable kid and found herself staying at his house to help him come out of his shell. Slowly, his father Lu Tingxiao began falling for her. This was before they realised how their lives had been intertwined all this while without their knowledge.

It all happened so abruptly. After finally grasping my situation, I found myself in an entirely different world. Looking around, I noticed others in the same predicament… Could this possibly be one of those Hero developments? Was there a tyrannical Demon Lord needing extermination, or would I be tossed into the maelstrom of war? Whatever it was, I was afraid. I never wanted to be a Hero. I don’t want to harm another…… Ignore the nonsense I was spouting; there was nothing to fret over. The Demon Lord was slain a thousand years ago, and 800 years had passed since the last war. The nobles didn’t treat us summoned like tr*sh; instead, we were kindly cared for. The Demons have been on good terms with Humans for some time now. Dangers, such as monsters, were being taken care of by the Guild and the Order of Knights. What’s more surprising is the fact that I wasn’t even a hero! Instead, I was unintentionally summoned! It also turns out that this world was a world in which the three races, the Spirit World’s Magical Races, the Celestial World’s Divine Races, and the Mortal World’s Human Races, are kind neighbours. Here, everyone lives a peaceful and fulfilling life. In summary, this other world was――at peace. What’s my plan for the future? For my limited stay here, I will live this world to its fullest; going on a cultural exchange, sightseeing, then, after experiencing the festival that is only held once every ten years, …… I shall safely return home. However, despite my lust for a peaceful last year before returning, this planet’s heavyweights have begun amassing around me, and……

Zhou Dao transmigrated to a world where demons rampaged and Daoist laws ruled. His sect was in straitened circumstances, and their property was on the brink of being demolished. Desperate, Zhou Dao had his eyes fixed on the coffin of the sect’s Grandmaster and decided to do something with it. A voice rang, “D*mn! You are actually plotting to steal my skull. With your attitude, Sunset Mountain has a chance of reaching its heyday again!” On that very night, the corpse of the Grandmaster moved! Moving forward, Zhou Dao would receive rewards whenever he offered up demonic beasts as sacrifices to the Grandmaster. He offered up a 1000-year zombie as a sacrifice and received the Indestructible Body of Demon Refining. He offered up a nine-tailed demon fox as a sacrifice and received a Fox Girl Puppet. He offered up a demon turtle from the Eastern Sea as a sacrifice and received a high-power muscle massage gun. … For eons, countless Daoist members meditated on The Yellow Court Classic. For years to come, Zhou Dao harvested countless demonic beasts with no intention of burying them. Many years later, in the same Daoist temple, Zhou Dao sat at the front door as he bore witness to the joy and the sorrow of all creations. He had seen birth, illness, death, and all sorts of bizarre phenomena. He put on a crooked grin as he said, “I offer up the heavens and the earth as a sacrifice.”

[You Leveled Up!] [You have learned a new rune.] Arthur Silvera's world just glitched. His mysterious new 'Legacy' is transforming him – a nobody – into the ultimate stat-absorbing, rune-crafting powerhouse. But is this power a gift... or an unmanageable curse? In a world of magic-infused tech, Arthur must master his abilities to survive. Monstrous dungeons, mech-powered guilds, and realms beyond imagining await… but with a Legacy this broken, the whole system might just come crashing down around him. *** Discord Server: https://discord.gg/GFD6p9sByS

# 1V1 # FONDNESSOVERTIME Shi Qian’s stepmother set her up and forced her to marry a vegetative man. There were three good things about him. He was rich, handsome… and unable to wake up! Fu Sinian, who had been in a coma for more than three years, woke up and found that he suddenly had a wife. His petite wife was fair, beautiful and had long legs.“If you don’t love me, I don’t need you!” Fu Sinian said and coldly threw out the divorce papers.***Not long after, the famous Shi Qian was caught in a photograph in the bigshot, Fu Sinian’s luxurious car. Fu Sinian publicly clarified this and said, “Miss Shi and I are acquainted.”Netizens: “Are you guys only acquaintances? They’re both being driven around in the same car! We’re waiting for you to slap us in the face with your words, Young Master Fu! Nine million fans are watching and waiting!” Not long after, Shi Qian, who was popular in the circle, was once again photographed entering the hotel at the same time as Fu Sinian and only came out after three days. Fu Sinian clarified again, “Miss Shi and I are not in that kind of relationship. We’re not dating.”Netizens: “Mr. Fu must have failed in his pursuit! If there was a girl Young Master Fu can’t handle in this world, it must be their goddess, Shi Qian!”Thirty million fans continued to eat popcorn and watch the drama! Later, Shi Qian, who has two hundred million fans, had morning sickness while at the Best Actress Award Ceremony! Fu Sinian walked onto the stage slowly and hugged Shi Qian’s waist and said, “Thank you for everyone’s concern. Mrs. Fu is pregnant with our second child!”All two hundred million fans were confused. The beautiful Shi Qian was pregnant with her second child? They were watching the drama unfold all the way! When did they fail to keep up?

When Feng Qing was born, she was sold to a couple from the mountains due to the hospital’s negligence . Sixteen years later, her biological parents brought her home from a small mountain village, she thought her life would better, but it did not. Not only did she not get love from her parents, her substitute sister made her blind. In the end, her parents married her off to an old man in his fifties. On her wedding day, Feng Qing escaped from the hotel with strings of bodyguards chasing after her. In a critical situation, she climbed into the black car that was parked by the roadside. In the back car seat sat a handsome man where cold ruthlessness was a constant fixture on his face. He looked like someone who could not be trifled with. Feng Qing patted her dirty little hands. "So, mister, I noticed that loneliness is written all over your face. What do you think about having a wife who has now presented herself to you?" Xie Jiuhan was commonly referred to as the Ninth Master. He was the overlord of Capital City and had a volatile personality. He was stubborn and ruthless. The socialites in the Capital City used all means, but none of them came close to even touching the hem of Master Ninth's clothes. From this day onward, rumors started to spread in Capital City. Ninth Master, who usually steered clear of women, raised a petite little wife in the manor and spoilt her to the core. Master Ninth: "My wife is too weak to take care of herself." The doctor: "Then, who's that lady who shattered someone's kneecap with a single kick?" Master Ninth: "My wife used to live in villages, she's not good at her studies." The students in Capital University: “Your wife keeps getting number one in every examination. If she's not good at her studies, what are we? Retards?" Master Ninth: “My wife is extremely timid. She's not met many bigshots or prominent figures." The public: “Please shut up!" The leading authority in medicine, science professors, and famous international directors queued outside your house, begging to see her! Yes, your wife had not met bigshots or prominent figures before because she was the most prominent figure here.

In the age of interstellar exploration, three hundred years ago, Mage explorers from the yellow river planet took their first step towards outer space. It was a joyous event for every mage on that planet, yet unfortunately, space is dominated by other races. The Peak level Mage from the Yellow River Planet was the weakest power in existence among other outer space races. It's a cruel reality for everyone. From then on, every mage from the Yellow River Planet began to increase their power level by consuming outer space resources. Then they constantly researched, upgraded the power level system and tried to pave the way for the next generation of space explorers. Now, our MC Vincent Carey's ambition is to be the next generation of space explorers. How is he going to increase his strength and compete among other races to get resources? How is the unknown little yellow river planet going to be known and feared by others? --- To find out further, read my new novel and support it with the power stones and golden tickets. Current Plan- 7Chaps/ Week. Target- 50 Golden Tickets/ Week - 14Chaps/Week ... Disclaimer: Fantasy and Fictional Story. Society is similar to Modern-day Earth.

#sololevelup #weaktostrong #faceslapping #feelsgood Lu Yu transmigrated to a parallel world before the Reiki recovery and awakening of the cities. Ferocious beasts attacked, and all of humanity started awakening special talents. All living beings in the world started to evolve and mutate, and become materials for humans to become more powerful. As long as one searched for the appropriate materials, he could evolve his talents and become more powerful. But there were many talents that were extremely mysterious, and no one knew how to level up those. On the Talent Awakening Platform… Lu Yu awakened the weakest talent [Claw Attack]. Everyone laughed at him. Fortunately, his system activated, and only he could see its notifications. “Detected the talent [Claw Attack].” "Please choose from the evolution paths below: [ Cat Claw Path ][ Bear Paw Path ][ Eagle Strike Path ][ Snake Tooth Path ][ Dragon Claw Path ]..." “Please confirm your choice, [Dragon Claw Path].” “Please continue to choose your evolution path: [Flaming Dragon Claw] [Flowing Water Dragon Claw] [Rock Crushing Dragon Claw] [Gale Dragon Claw] [Light Dragon Claw] [Dark Dragon Claw]...” As such, Lu Yu used the system to his advantage and set foot on the path of leveling up toward supreme power.

Young Master Lu says, "My wife knows nothing at all and has a bad temper. You'd better not bully her." Gu Mang watches silently as this man warns everyone who comes his way. Young Master Lu says, "Read properly. How can you remember anything if you flip the pages so quickly?" Gu Mang takes up another book and reads it speedily. Young Master Lu complains, "What should I do when my babe hates studying?" What else can he do other than dote on her? Until one day... "Young Master, numerous universities in the capital and even top universities overseas are fighting to get Madam to enroll!" "Young Master, many TCM research centers are getting into deadly squabbles over hiring Madam." "Young Master, a legion of huge international law firms want to employ Madam." "Young Master, several eminent hacking organisations are here too..." "Young Master, multiple financial groups have come..." "Young Master..." To all these, Young Master Lu says, "What the f**k! Get out of here!" Yes, his wife is a genius.

I’ve thought of every possible solution, tried every possible method, worked till he forgot to eat and sleep, and toiled constantly… in order to just cultivate a little slower, but the system just wouldn’t let him! Special Opportunities System: Congratulations to the host for breathing for the first time, you have received 300 level-up points. Congratulations on leveling up! Special Opportunities System: Congratulations to the host for eating for the first time, received 3000 level-up points, congratulations on leveling up! Special Opportunities System: Congratulations to the host for holding hands for the first time, received 30000 level-up points, congratulations on leveling up! … System, can you stop making me level up? In order to have fewer of your “special opportunities” I’ve been lying on the bed for the last 100 chapters. Why am I still leveling up so quickly? If I continue leveling up, my father, the emperor, would definitely kill me out of jealousy!