funny self defense stories

Soaking in lava, sleeping in an Ancient Killing Formation; Traversing alternative worlds in a heavy armored vehicle; Riding a Gundam Sentinel and slaying immortals with Godzilla... I got myself a stat system, and from then on, I only beefed up my defense! I just can't help it, I'm afraid of pain! The Daluo Golden Immortals of other worlds are all really fierce, and all of them know super ultimate move with infinite power. They have little meetings every day to discuss how to break through my defense. I really don't know why they're so obsessed...XD

Strong? Handsome? Savage? Badass? It's all about the intelligence quotient, my friend. ———— PS: Mutation shouldn't be mistaken for enlightenment.

[Tower Defense & Dungeon Attack RPG] I saw the ending to the game no one was able to clear. But, when I came to my senses, I was inside of the game. In fact, I was in the tutorial stage, a place where strategy was impossible. “I’ll clear this bullsh*t game no matter what…!” . . [This novel does not belong to me; all rights belong to its author. I merely upload it, and translation credits go to: MattReading.] Original Author: 류은가람 Official Page: https://m.series.naver.com/novel/detail.series?productNo=5904911

"I've destroyed your face. Let's see how you'll seduce men now!" "I want to pluck all your hair too. Let's see how you'll seduce other married men!" The woman screamed while she cut off Mei Shu's hair. She then directly stabbed the scissors into her head and put an end to her pitiful life. Mei Shu had already been bedridden for over ten years. Her face was practically unrecognizable. Her four younger brothers were either injured, crippled, sick, or barely alive. This was all thanks to the woman next to her bed. Many years ago, Mei Shu's mother died in a car accident. Not long after that, her stepmother moved in with her stepsister, Mei Mu. Mei Shu's stepmother found a way to send Mei Shu to the countryside. After that, Mei Shu's stepmother and stepsister slowly took over all the Mei family's possessions. When Mei Shu was about to turn eighteen, they brought her home. The only reason they did that was to acquire the inheritance her mother left behind. After that, they kept plotting and scheming against her. They sowed discord between Mei Shu and her four younger brothers. Until the day Mei Shu died in the hospital, her brothers still had no idea she wasn't the one who started the fire that ruined their lives. After dying, Mei Shu refused to move on. She reincarnated to the time she was seventeen with her own system. She wanted to change her fate and rescue her brothers! In their previous lifetime, she and her brothers treated each other like enemies. In this lifetime... "Mei Shu, I'll do anything you tell me to," her first brother said. "Who dares to bully my sister?" Her second brother asked. "Mei Shu belongs to me!" Her third brother exclaimed. "Do you wish to marry my sister? Let's see if you have what it takes!" Her fourth brother uttered. [System: Quest completed! You'll be rewarded with a husband!"

"Thanks for the invite, I'm in New York, just got off the plane." Du Wei realized he had traveled through time. Having no choice, he had to resume his old trade and opened a psychological consultation clinic, but the patients seeking psychological advice were all a bit strange... Note: This book is set in the Soul Summoning Universe.

This novel is an "always-ongoing" novel containing a compilation of fictional funny stories. New fictional funny stories will be added to new chapters in this book over time.

"Hot Noodles request to add you as a friend." An inexplicable friend request, a non-existent contact. Claiming to be a message from herself in the future, intimately knowledgeable about her past. Fang Xiaocao was utterly numb. Hot Noodles: Danger, do not go home tonight. "Is this some kind of joke?" Staring at the WeChat message, Fang Xiaocao rolled her eyes and opened the anti-theft door. Hot Noodles: At midnight, when the knocking starts, don't turn on the light if you don't want to die. In the early morning: 00:00:00 Fang Xiaocao was woken by the knocking sound. She was just about to turn on the bedside lamp when she remembered that bizarre message. She pulled back her hand and stayed put until dawn, only to know her neighbor next door, a woman living alone just like her was murdered at midnight... Fang Xiaocao was suddenly covered in a cold sweat. Hot Noodles: To celebrate our narrow escape from death, go to the flea market before three in the afternoon, stall number 7, and buy the seventh inkstone on the left-hand side. The seller's bottom price is 80, but the inkstone is worth 8 million. After last night's ordeal, Fang Xiaocao inexplicably chose to believe. She successfully bought an inkstone for a hundred dollars, and later discover it was indeed a imperial inkstone from the Qing Qianlong era, worthing 8 million! Fang Xiaocao stood there, dumbfounded! Following the message's instructions, she bought a second-hand car. But little did she know, the guidance was linking her into a series of events that dragged out a murder case and a fortune worth two small goals. Who on earth sent her the messages? It's really her future self? Or it's some kind of bizarre game?

Every twenty years, the world of Tower Defense arrives to take away people and make them participate in the survival game. You can get unimaginable rewards if you can win. You can also inflict severe damage to your country if you lose. Pierce finds himself in this world, and sent to the Tower Defense alone, while other teams have a hundred people. Fortunately, he awakens golden hint system. Not only can he see useful alerts, he can also discover the fatal weaknesses of his enemies. Every monster he takes down rewards him with top-tier prizes. While the other players are still struggling, he is already swinging his swords to take the lives of gods.

This novel contains a compilation on funny chats to entertain all of you. One chapter refers to one chat.

A meta-universe game "New World" that integrated the top technology, had 100% realism, and the game currency could be exchanged for real money, was open for beta! Jack became one of the first players to enter the game. Because he had witnessed other players being killed, he confirmed that this game had 100% realism, including pain, so he directly added all the attribute points on defense. To his surprise, he thus unlocked the title: Stud Master! He succeeded in making him have a higher defensive attribute value than all the players. Opponent: "I have the highest output!" Jack: "I won't bleed if you beat me." Opponent: "I can blast a hundred times!" Jack: "I won't bleed if you beat me." ... As the snowball got bigger and bigger, more and more hidden achievements were unlocked. He, Jack, also leaped to the top as the strongest, hardest, and most invincible player in "New World"!