mark twain funny stories

[Warning: Mature Content, R18+] Born with a mark that was never intended… Gifted with intelligence and skills far more advanced than her peers. Elsa Morgan didn’t experience the normal childhood that everyone had. Always been haunted by her nightmares and by unexplainable events since she was young. Elsa became a doctor to find answers. Destined to bear sufferings and do what is right for his people… Chris Jorgensen was bound to the woman he had not met yet and marked without knowing what he had done. In order to lead his kingdom to glory and victory, he must find her first no matter what it takes, even if it means crossing the other world. Two worlds apart that defy what is the norm in their worlds. Brought together by the invisible tie that binds them together. Or is it true love that defies all reasons? When accidents turn out to be fate in disguise, will they be able to reject the strong pull towards the person who turned their whole world and everything they worked hard for upside down? ******** “What the hell! I told you not to move!” Elsa shouted while running back to the man, who lifted his head and smirked at her. Elsa screamed when the naked man abruptly pulled her onto his lap and started sniffing her all over her body, especially on her chest, hair, and neck. She heard her dogs growl and come closer to the man but quickly calmed down when he gave them a quick glance, and it absolutely surprised her. “What are you doing!” Elsa pushed the naked man on the chest for she could feel him hard down there and it was making her really uncomfortable. “Your smell… Mmm… Lavender and blueberry… God, you smell divine…” The man casually said before burying his face in her neck and sniffing her hard. “You pervert!” With all her strength, Elsa pushed him once again and slapped him so hard that she also hurt her palm, making his head turn to the side on impact. She briskly stood up and shouted, “Nile, tackle! Girls guard!” In a swift move, Nile jumped to the naked man tackling and pushing him to the ground while Ciel, Gaia, and Nuri surrounded him, not removing their gaze from him while growling and showing their sharp teeth and fangs. But then a more powerful force is pulling her eyes beyond the man’s buff chest and deep in her mind she convinced herself that she would do this because she is a doctor and he is her patient– an injured patient, she reminded herself. She would look at him only to see the extent of his injuries and nothing more. She is a doctor… A licensed professional for God’s sake! ‘How can I buckle him up if it’s on the way of the strap? Should I move it to the side?’ Elsa was having a battle in her head ultimately muddled about whether she would touch it or not. From the way he looks, she is sure that he is heavy and she must use the straps properly to be able to securely drag him to her car for both their safety. ******** Chris pretended to be sleeping while he let himself heal, or so he thought. The sedative took a while to have an effect on him. But eventually, he dozed off and was unconscious for real this time. He opened his eyes and saw white walls and someone was holding his right hand. He sat up and saw the red-haired woman’s hand on top of his while her wrist was glowing. Chris’ eyes widened, he held his shoulder and shook her up, “Wake up! There’s a glowing mark on your wrist!” But no matter how hard he wakes her up, she’s not opening her eyes. “You are mine, Elsa. And I am yours.” Chris moved his face closer to hers and planted a soft gentle kiss on her lips. “Whoever you are, Elsa, I will protect you. Even if it’s from the man that you call Dad.” Chris whispered as if someone would hear him. Completed Book: CEO's Contract Obsession ********

“Trashy ex wants to talk. He has sent a message inviting me to dinner. Should I go?” His reply in hm irking her. "Ouch…. That hurts!” She licked his bleeding lips, "Can’t help. I’m a lip biter--WOW!” Turning over he pinned her hands to the bed, “And I swear I won’t stop until your legs are shaking and the neighbors know my name forever....... Is this better?” ****** Sitting at the position of Secretary-General at the ministry of women and child affairs, Zhao Suyin was not someone to be messed with. Her razor-sharp tongue laced with sarcasm became her deadliest weapon against the evils. Dr. Wang Shi, a single father, and a renowned surgeon was anything but cold and aloof. His amiable personality combined with his killer looks and enormous wealth made him a dream man. A story of two imperfect people..... one a divorced woman and the other a single father. What will happen when their paths collide? What will happen when Suyin would know the heart beating inside Wang Shi's son belongs to her own son? Will the sparks of affection happen and continue even after knowing the truth? The story where the two falls for each other but the bitter truth separates them..... A journey of fighting against the organ traffickers to bring justice for the dead. A journey of making tough decisions. A journey to make choice between love and revenge. ****** Join me on discord https://discord.gg/RudqR3q The cover is edited by me, but the photo belongs to their respective owners. I have no right over this photo. All credits belong to the owner.

This novel is an "always-ongoing" novel containing a compilation of fictional funny stories. New fictional funny stories will be added to new chapters in this book over time.

She believes in true love. He doesn’t believe in love. But what is love, really? She is the epitome of success—a star people look up to and admire. To him, however, she is merely a business transaction, a partner chosen to enhance his status. To his friends, she is just a fool in love, a pathetic figure begging for affection. Then shocking news emerges: her first true love returns, throwing him off guard. He realizes he has been nothing more than a substitute for her first love. He should be angry, but instead, he finds himself overwhelmed by emotions he can’t express or understand. Is this possessiveness, or is he finally learning to love her? She is determined to return to her first love, but inside, she is torn. Did she really treat him as just a substitute, or did she actually come to love him? What are they supposed to do when love is a question mark?

This novel contains a compilation on funny chats to entertain all of you. One chapter refers to one chat.

(Thousands of years ago) Silvra, the goddess of the elemental magics summoned the seven Altors. Seven magical stones along with seven creatures appeared in the Orphiel Shrine, each standing in each circle. Bright, radiant, glowing seven different colors of light appeared, blasting towards the sky. Under the millions of stars cast in the vastness of the night, the goddess created the destined princess to prevent the abuse of power and balance to her world. Only one child will be born under the rarest moon to appear every 50 years— will be the chosen, boring marks of the fate they hold. Fearing the god beasts will invade her children, she commands the Altors to stay in the land. The seven creatures then transformed in their physical manifestations and scattered in the world. The magical stones disperse in the seven stone walls in the shrine. … Seira Lacresia is a normal woman at least for her, trying to live as peacefully as possible and protect the only family she had left in the small town outside the capital of the Adeosian Kingdom. But an accusation will bring her life upside down, forcing her to confront the place where her nightmares and pain lies. Kyrian Azrael is the crowned prince of the Adeosian Kingdom. A dangerous, painstakingly vigilant, cold, calculating, unforgiving, and ruthless man and known as the Prince of Death. Opposite to the tradition of his kingdom, he didn't want to meet the destined princess. For him, the power that the destined princesses hold is the one who induced greed in people and swore to kill the chosen woman for the throne. What will happen if the past that she tried so hard to forget invade her present? How can she protect herself from breaking even more when her fate is already tangled to a person that has a great connection to her past and future? In the battle of principles, will love be enough to change the written predestination of the sky or chaos will fall upon them?

Three thousand years ago. The seven most powerful magicians in the world, The Sacred Virtues, sealed the evil Four Horsemen by using the magic power of sixteen people. Three thousand years later. Humans continue to choose sixteen people who will sacrifice their magic to keep the evil sealed. Malcom is one of these ‘lucky’ people as soon as he was born. Because of being chosen as the bearer of the Mark, Malcom could only use a part of his magic. How could he then live normally when everything in the world requires magic to function? He was considered weak, thus became a social outcast. Tired of being mistreated and humiliated, Malcom fights to prove his true worth. But things get even more complicated when fanatical Horsemen worshiping fans begin kidnapping the Marked people like him… *** Author's Note: 3 chapters or more every Friday 100 Power Stones = +1 Extra ch/week 300 Power Stones = +2 Extra ch/week 700 Power Stones = +4 Extra ch/week 1000 Power Stones = +7 Extra ch/week Extra chapters will be published at the end of each week based on the power stones earned that week. Want to sponsor an extra chapter? Send a gift of 1000 coins and you will also get a shout out. Thank you!

This novel contains funny conversations between fictional people. They are written to entertain all of you. One chapter represents one conversation in this novel.

Synopsis: The Fallen King Mark, once the proud leader of Dark Solution, a legendary guild in Mortal Online, is betrayed by the one he trusted most—Sophia, his second-in-command. In a ruthless power play, she sells the guild to Dominant, a first-rate powerhouse, erasing Mark’s legacy and forcing him into exile. But the betrayal doesn’t stop there. Bound by a contract he unknowingly signed years ago, Mark is ordered to delete his account. When he refuses, Sophia sends real-world enforcers to ensure he never stands against her again. Left broken and bleeding, Mark dies—a victim of greed, betrayal, and corporate warfare disguised as a game. But death is not the end. Beyond the mortal realm, a council of gods watches with intrigue. They see in Mark a soul consumed by rage, a will that refuses to fade. Amused by his suffering, they offer him a second chance—not as a mere player, but as a force of vengeance. Reforged with divine power, Mark returns to Mortal Online, not as the man he once was, but as something far more dangerous. No longer bound by rules, no longer limited by human constraints, he embarks on a relentless quest to dismantle Dominant and make Sophia pay for everything she stole. The world thought Mark was erased. Now, it will remember his name. And this time, he will not fall.

This novel is an always ongoing novel containing funny stories. One chapter represents one story. New funny stories will be added here over time. So, stay tuned! Notes: All stories and characters in this novel here are fictional! This novel is just for fun!