senior citizen jokes funny stories

Here's a joke. An old man was asked why he always carried a gun in his car. He said, 'I'm a very slow driver. If I see signs of an accident up ahead, I shoot myself.'

There's a story about an elderly couple. The wife was always misplacing her glasses. One day, the husband found them on her head and said, 'Dear, your glasses have been on a long journey today - all the way to the top of your head!' It's a funny little moment that shows the charm of senior forgetfulness.

Sure. There was an old man who always confused his remote controls. One day, he tried to change the TV channel with his phone. He held the phone up to the TV and kept pressing the volume buttons on his phone, wondering why it wasn't working. It was hilarious.

An elderly lady went to the supermarket. She saw a new self - checkout machine. She tried to pay for her groceries by talking to it like it was a person. She said 'Hello, dear, I have these things to buy.' When it didn't respond, she started tapping it gently and said 'Wake up, young man!' Everyone around her was trying hard not to laugh.

Joke: An old man was sitting on his porch. A young boy walked by and asked, 'What are you doing?' The old man said, 'I'm just sitting here waiting for my old age to catch up with my good looks.'

A senior man joined a yoga class. During the downward - facing dog pose, he accidentally fell asleep. When the instructor came to wake him up, he mumbled 'I'm just resting my old bones, don't mind me' and went right back to sleep. The whole class burst into laughter.

Sure. A senior was at the doctor's. The doctor said, 'You need to exercise more.' The old man replied, 'If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor!' It's a funny take on an old person's reluctance to exercise.

Another joke. What's an IT expert's favorite place? The space bar. Because it's always so spaced out.

Of course, I can collect some funny stories and jokes for you. Here are some examples: 1 A man went to the movies and realized he had watched too much, so he said,"I can tell this movie is so bad." Another said,"No, you just heard all the rhythms." 2 A man said to his girlfriend,"I like you a little." His girlfriend said,"So much?" I don't have any." The man said,"No, I just like your smile." 3 A man asked his girlfriend,"You have a little blue eyes." His girlfriend said,"Yes, I ordered blue glasses." The man said,"No, I'm just saying that I have blue eyes and you have blue glasses." 4 When a man heard that he often chatted with a young man, he said,"I think the coolest thing about young people is that they are a little fat." The subject said," No, the coolest thing is to experience some surprises." The guy said," No, you're not as cool as me. I've been through some of the coolest things, like being thought of as a princess." A man asked his girlfriend,"What do you like about me?" His girlfriend said,"I like the way you talk to me." The man said,"No, what I like is that you can understand me." I hope these jokes can help you satisfy your needs!

There was this hunter who thought he was a great tracker. He followed some tracks in the snow for hours, thinking he was about to find a huge bear. When he finally found the 'creature', it turned out to be his own dog who had been wandering around in the woods all morning.