your mum so fat jokes

Qiao Mei transmigrated into a novel as a supporting character with the same name as her who lacked presence. This supporting character was a country bumpkin who couldn’t get married due to her obesity. According to the original script, this country girl Qiao Mei was a fatty spoiled by her grandfather. However, their relatives were all vicious and cruel people. Her grandfather had poor health, so once he died, the relatives would divide and swallow up his assets. Hence, her grandfather’s greatest wish was to marry Qiao Mei off. For this, even sacrificed and betrayed his good friend’s grandson, Xia Zhe. Grandpa got Xia Zhe drunk and had Qiao Mei forcibly take the strong and handsome Xia Zhe with her body which weighed more than two hundred pounds. Then, grandpa would catch them the next day and force Xia Zhe to marry Qiao Mei. However, that eventually caused the start of Qiao Mei’s unfortunate life. Also, in the original story, Qiao Mei took possession of Xia Zhe’s mysterious jade. But due to Qiao Mei’s stupidity, her cousin's sister had tricked Qiao Mei into giving her the jade, which resulted in the cousin’s family becoming rich. When Qiao Mei transmigrated here, it was during the awkward moment when she was making love to the man after making him drunk. She woke up groggily the next day and grandpa’s team had already appeared at the door. Qiao Mei was frightened. She didn’t want to proceed on the original path and marry a man who didn’t love her. And so, she lied and chased grandpa away. She also pushed the man out before forcing herself to look at her tanned and chubby reflection in the mirror! Alas, she cried at her ugly appearance… Like a sumo wrestler in large cloth underwear, even the plus-sized apparel shops didn’t have clothes in her size. And her face was the size of a pizza, a scorched pizza! Qiao Mei decided to reform her life! The first step, lose weight! The second step, clean up her room! She used to be particular about cleanliness, and although her current house had a huge courtyard, she could only describe it as messy! The third step was to hold onto the jade tightly so her greedy cousin wouldn’t stand a chance! Only, wasn’t the tall and handsome Xia Zhe supposed to hate her according to the original story? Why was he being nicer and nicer to her?

Feng Ruqing was a spoiled princess with a hideous countenance in Liu Yun Kingdom. She used to ride roughshod over anyone who stood in her way, backed by her father the emperor who loved her with all his heart. Not only did she force the chancellor's son to marry her by breaking the existing loving couple up, but her mother-in-law had also passed out from rage because of her. In the end, she took her own life after the heartbreak and humiliation of being dumped. When she opened her eyes again, she was no longer the bratty princess who was a good-for-nothing. * * * Rumor has it that spirit beasts have become servants in princess’ manor and the princess is devouring precious spirit herb dishes every day. Rumor has it that the chancellor’s son who pleaded for reconciliation after divorcing the princess was thrown out of the princess’s manor. Rumor has it that some good-looking young masters went to the princess’s manor in hope of being her servants were nearly killed by the state preceptor. Rumor has it that the charming state preceptor was looking for the princess eagerly as he wanted to hold her responsible for sleeping with him.

Qiao Mu moved in with the rich and powerful Qiao family as a bastard when she was five. She lived on tiptoes, fearful of upsetting her stepmother and stepsister. Living in the mansion next door was a big brother who spoiled her like a princess, buying her all the cakes and candies in the world. However, he suddenly disappeared one day. Ten years later, he was back. Qiao Mu first encountered him again on her eighteenth birthday party, even though she did not recognize him, and she ended up waking up in his bed! A series of event unfolded after that, and Qiao Mu was certain that this man was no longer the affectionate big brother who doted on her. But was it really so? What was actually on his mind?

Five years ago, Qiao Nian was schemed against by her sister, Qiao Xin. After spending a night with a stranger, Qiao Nian got pregnant. She did not know who the father of the child was, and eventually gave birth to a stillborn. Under the machinations of her mother and sister, Qiao Nian was stripped off of her shares in Qiao Group and sent to a mental hospital. Five years later, her younger sister, Qiao Xin, was going to be married off to the Second Young Master of the Gu family. He was rumored to be extremely ugly. On the day he was born, the doctor predicted that he would not live past twenty years old. Her mother could not bear to see Qiao Xin marry such a person and thought of Qiao Nian, who was still locked in the mental hospital. Overnight, Qiao Nian was taken out of the hospital to replace Qiao Xin in her marriage into the Gu family. Her mother said, "It's a good thing that Qiao Nian, this good-for-nothing, can replace Xin'er to be a living widow in the Gu family. If Xin'er were to marry into that family, I would be heartbroken." Qiao Xin said, "Mom, don't say that about Sister. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't know what to do. I'm just worried that Sister wouldn't agree." Her father said, "Xin'er, you're too kind. Have you forgotten how Qiao Nian slandered you five years ago? She has no self-restraint. She got pregnant before marriage and even gave birth to a stillborn child. We're treating her well enough by letting her marry someone from the prestigious Gu family! What right does she have to be picky?" Qiao Nian sneered. Back then, the scheme against her had only succeeded due to a freak combination of factors, causing her to suffer. She was going to get back at all of them! Everyone thought that her actions were borne from a combination of a loser's mentality and mental illness, but little did they know that this marriage would be a strong union as impactful as Mars crashing into Earth! Taking advantage of her brilliant skills in medicine, Qian Nian made various trashy people and scumbags eat their words. In the blink of an eye, her multiple identities shocked the world as each of them got exposed. It turned out that she was rich enough to rival a country! Later on, Second Young Master Gu placed a pair of Qiao Nian's miniature clones in front of her. Faced with these two children who resembled her and Gu Zhou, Qiao Nian blinked in shock. "When did I give birth to your children?"

Tang Hao was an honest man making an honest living, but despite all his honesty and kindness, life often looked the other way. Even when he stood up for a man in the streets, he ended up being beaten to a pulp and the man he stood up for? He disappeared. That left Tang Hao with nothing to prove and a hefty medical bill blowing through his savings. However, while he lay unconscious in the hospital, he could feel a warmth coming from the jade pendent he wore as it began to feed him with a trove of priceless information. Now discharged, and still armed with the same naivety and honesty, what will our village peasant do with this newfound power? Will he go on to conquer the hearts of a hundred women? Will he defeat the mightiest crime lords? Only time will tell, but for now, fate has many whimsical plans for Tang Hao.

“Kat, you have a tail” said Lily “Look, Lily, it really isn’t that big of a concern” said Kat “You.Have.A.TAIL KAT” said Lily “How is this not a concern to you?” “Well, the dream I had was a bit weird as well, but if I’m honest, I’m mainly worried about the floating text that’s on fire” said Kat “THE What?” said Lily --------------------------------------------------- Join Kat on her dimension hopping adventures as she fullfills her demonic duty and answers the call of the summoner. Each week Kat will get involved with new strange situations and oppurtunites that await her. During the week she'll have her best friend Lily, and perhaps a little help from Sylvie to figure out what's she supposed to do with her life now that she's becoming a demon. Chapters releasing daily ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Artwork by CristianAC: https://www.deviantart.com/cristianac Story Discord: https://discord.gg/YzGgDHC

Yang Ming is an underachiever in high school. Unmotivated, he skips class to shoot pool, cheats on his exams and gets into fights. However, by an act of goodwill and fate, he obtains some high-tech contact lenses that give him superpowers. Together with his gangster street-smarts and ruthless fighting skills, it doesn't take long for him dramatically change his life for the better. As his journey unfolds, he battles against society's big guns and attempts to bring justice into an unjust world. Along the way, he has many interesting and romantic encounters with the ladies who are charmed by his shameless flirting. How will he use his superpowers? Will he be able to overcome evil and bring justice to the world? Who will he choose to be with at the end? -------------------- Chat with us on Discord https://discord.gg/xvjj4dA Chat about other Exodus Tales novels at https://discord.gg/7X4BGdc Check out our Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/GT.SPSF If you want to support us even more, check out our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/SPSF Character List: http://gravitytales.com/page/so-pure-so-flirtatious/character%20list

# FAMILY LIFE Su Xiaoxiao was taking a nap but opened her eyes to find that she had transmigrated and was now in the body of a plump girl. From a dignified military doctor, she was now a glutton and a slacker. What’s more, she often terrorized people in the village, together with her father and brother. That was why nobody for miles around was willing to marry her. Although her family managed to arrange a marriage to an illustrious family, the groom ran away on the day of the wedding. When her father said he would nab her a husband, she was not expecting him to do so literally by capturing Wei Ting with a sack after he was exhausted from fighting bandits. Su Cheng smiled mysteriously at his daughter. "Dad has good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" "Either." "I captured a husband for you. He's a hundred times better looking than He Tongsheng! You'll definitely like him!" "Then, what's the good news?" she asked in a daze. Su Cheng decided to go with the flow and changed his words. "The good news is that you don't have to give birth any more! My son-in-law has already given us children!" After getting married, Su Xiaoxiao led a busy life of changing her gangster father and younger brother for the better, saving the life of her gorgeous husband, and raising her three rascals… Plus, she unexpectedly became one of the most powerful ladies of the Yan Dynasty!

"If someone has to become the strongest, why can't it be me?" An unfortunate young man, brought to another world by a meteor, voices his unwillingness with a defiant roar. I just want to create a fantastical world that doesn't seem too unreal. Pre-reading Reminder 1: If you think human nature can simply be divided into good or bad, proceed with caution. Pre-reading Reminder 2: If you believe a sect is just a crowd of people flattering the protagonist, proceed with caution. Pre-reading Reminder 3: If you think the whole world is a stage for the protagonist to show off, and all people are merely stepping stones for the protagonist, proceed with caution.

A mysterious car accident caused her to be bedridden for three years. After Ning Qing woke up, she learned two things. One was that her elder twin sister had died in a car accident three years ago. The other was that she had already married someone. Her husband was Nian Lie, the eldest son of the Yan family who owned the biggest conglomerate in Yan City. He treated her as a substitute for her elder sister. While he put her through torture, he would tell her that he loved her with reddened eyes. Initially, Ning Qing wanted to divorce him, but later on, she indulged in his ambiguous love. Until she stood outside the wedding venue where he was about to marry another woman. Her heart was dead. Nothing was worth holding back anymore. She wanted to escape, but she was unwilling to let him live the rest of his life peacefully. Hence, under the reporters' flashing lights, she stepped onto the bridge and jumped off with her nearly due baby…