myshkin dostoevsky

The sound of guns... The darkness... The smoke... Then, oblivion. Everyday, I am haunted by my nightmares. Everytime the thunder roll and lightning strikes, I shivered. Looking outside my window, I am writing my daily journal and poetry today... To release all the pains and tensions from my past. And I wrote.. December 18, 1980 Myshkin, Russia My beloved, Have you ever ask yourself... What's your life purpose? If.. Are you doing the right thing? Are you on the verge of confusion, loneliness, unhappiness and being stagnant? Day dreaming into your own world? Too much questions filled in your heart and mind. Too much of everything that you don't want. Too much! To clear out my confusion and to have more clarity about myself, I dig deeper inside me. Reminiscing my childhood moments and cherish them. Facing the darkest and painful moments of my memories. Those memories of repeating horror, memories of loss, memories of death. Yes, I did face it all. I cried hard. After decades of those patterned memories... This is the first time that I realized.. How I treated myself so badly. And I really wanted to give back to myself. By appreciating my past. Appreciate yourself more... Love yourself more... And you will discover more... I have discovered each words, all feelings, expression, harmony just fits well to take steps in writing this poem for my past. ***A LETTER FOR MY PAST SELF*** My dearest self in the past... I have been visiting you lately in a vast... You are carefree, immature and FEARLESS, You go out more, loving the sun and grasses, Full of sweat and sun-kissed from above. Joyous days, feet touching stones and green Oh How glorious those days have been Flowing like water in every storms within And wind touches, caressing my skin Telling me, It's ok dear, everything has it's purpose". A path full of journey and a dead rose All those rise and fall, I am with you... All those tears and laughter, I am with you.. I am always with you til the end of time

The Idiot is a novel by the 19th-century Russian author Fyodor Dostoevsky. It was first published serially in the journal The Russian Messenger in 1868–69. The title is an ironic reference to the central character of the novel, Prince (Knyaz) Lev Nikolayevich Myshkin, a young man whose goodness, open-hearted simplicity and guilelessness lead many of the more worldly characters he encounters to mistakenly assume that he lacks intelligence and insight. In the character of Prince Myshkin, Dostoevsky set himself the task of depicting "the positively good and beautiful man." The novel examines the consequences of placing such a unique individual at the centre of the conflicts, desires, passions and egoism of worldly society, both for the man himself and for those with whom he becomes involved. Joseph Frank describes The Idiot as "the most personal of all Dostoevsky's major works, the book in which he embodies his most intimate, cherished, and sacred convictions." It includes descriptions of some of his most intense personal ordeals, such as epilepsy and mock execution, and explores moral, spiritual and philosophical themes consequent upon them. His primary motivation in writing the novel was to subject his own highest ideal, that of true Christian love, to the crucible of contemporary Russian society. The artistic method of conscientiously testing his central idea meant that the author could not always predict where the plot was going as he was writing. The novel has an awkward structure, and many critics have commented on its seemingly chaotic organization. According to Gary Saul Morson, "The Idiot violates every critical norm and yet somehow manages to achieve real greatness." Dostoevsky himself was of the opinion that the experiment was not entirely successful, but the novel remained his favourite among his works. In a letter to Strakhov he wrote: "Much in the novel was written hurriedly, much is too diffuse and did not turn out well, but some of it did turn out well. I do not stand behind the novel, but I do stand behind the idea.

TEASER: KC, the shy and sheltered heir of the Dostoevsky Group of Companies, experienced a number of traumatic incidents at a very young age. She witnessed how her parents were brutally killed when she was just 7 years old that made her a bit introverted and have some social anxieties. Tin, on the other hand is like a breath of fresh air. She loves to paint and express her feelings through that. She always follow her friend Sandy who always take the lead. Sandy, the fighter and liberated one was the most protective of KC. She’s dominant, aggressive and will do anything she thinks is good and right for KC. She doesn’t conform on what other people say. The two, Tin and Sandy, were tasked to take care and protect KC by none other than KC’s only family—her tita Yumi and tito Tor. They report to them, unknowingly to KC. Nikolai, on the other hand, is the most popular singer in the Philippines and KC’s soulmate, according to her. KC has been in love with him ever since she was in studying in high school in the States. She had been dreaming of meeting him in person especially that he is under the management of their recording company in the Philippines. She decided to work as a regular employee in the company after she took up her master’s degree in the States and go undercover to make sure that Nikolai would fall in love with her as the simple girl she really is—without the connection of the Dostoevsky’s. Fortunately she was able to make him fall in love with her, she thinks. But she doesn’t believe in sex before marriage. She wants to do it on their first night as husband and wife. What happens if Sandy and Tin fell in love with Nikolai as well? And to her KC’s shock, she is actually pregnant when she had never been intimate to any man before? What will happen to their intertwined lives?

Si KC, ang mahiyain at sheltered na tagapagmana ng Dostoevsky Group of Companies. Sa murang edad ay nasaksihan niya ang trahedya ng pagkamatay ng kanyang mga magulang na naging dahilan ng kanyang reclusion at pagtatago ng kanyang sarili sa ibang tao.Si Tin, she's like a breath of fresh air, she loves to paint and express her feelings through that. Sunud-sunuran siya sa kaibigan na si Sandy at napag-utusan na maging tagapagbantay at tagapangalaga ni KC dahil ayaw na ng tito at tita niya na maranasan niya ang isang panibagong trauma.Si Sandy naman, palaban at protective kay Tin at KC. Dominante at agresibo, she'll do what she thinks is good and right, she doesn't conform on what other people say. Like Tin, inatasan din siyang bantayan at pangalagaan si KC, sa hindi nito nalalamanag paraan.Si Nikolai, pinakasikat na singer ng kanyang henerasyon, trying to get the attention and love of his first love so he oblige in doing anything to unmask KC's true identity.Their lives will be intertwined when Sandy would pretend as KC and made love to her boyfriend, Nikolai. Si Nikolai ay magiging kakampi ng mga taong itinatago ang sekreto ng pagkatao ni KC dahil sa awa sa babae at si KC naman ay inaakalang totoong mahal na siya ng lalake. Despite of KC's morals and principles never to have sex before marriage, Nikolai oblige despite of all the hints that he wants to lure her in his bed; she remained pure.But one day to her surprise, she woke up being pregnant! Was she drugged then raped? Bakit wala siyang maalala? Matatanggap pa kaya siya ng kanyang pinakamamahal na si Nikolai?

The sound of guns... The darkness... The smoke... Then, oblivion. Everyday, I am haunted by my nightmares. Everytime the thunder roll and lightning strikes, I shivered. Looking outside my window, I am writing my daily journal and poetry today... To release all the pains and tensions from my past. And I wrote.. December 18, 1980 Myshkin, Russia My beloved, Have you ever ask yourself... What's your life purpose? If.. Are you doing the right thing? Are you on the verge of confusion, loneliness, unhappiness and being stagnant? Day dreaming into your own world? Too much questions filled in your heart and mind. Too much of everything that you don't want. Too much! To clear out my confusion and to have more clarity about myself, I dig deeper inside me. Reminiscing my childhood moments and cherish them. Facing the darkest and painful moments of my memories. Those memories of repeating horror, memories of loss, memories of death. Yes, I did face it all. I cried hard. After decades of those patterned memories... This is the first time that I realized.. How I treated myself so badly. And I really wanted to give back to myself. By appreciating my past. Appreciate yourself more... Love yourself more... And you will discover more... I have discovered each words, all feelings, expression, harmony just fits well to take steps in writing this poem for my past. ***A LETTER FOR MY PAST SELF*** My dearest self in the past... I have been visiting you lately in a vast... You are carefree, immature and FEARLESS, You go out more, loving the sun and grasses, Full of sweat and sun-kissed from above. Joyous days, feet touching stones and green Oh How glorious those days have been Flowing like water in every storms within And wind touches, caressing my skin Telling me, It's ok dear, everything has it's purpose". A path full of journey and a dead rose All those rise and fall, I am with you... All those tears and laughter, I am with you... I am always with you til the end of time. You have no choice, we are both destined. Oh loving sun and dreamy moon, Grace us the light in our path divine, My past self, I thank you! For the wonderful memories... In my troubled present, found peace in you. Beatrix ********************************************** As I closed my journal... I just hear my Nana's footsteps and call out. "My princess, it's dinner time. Don't forget your coat, it's a bit freezing today!." "Yes, coming Nana!." I checked myself in the mirror for the last time, before sharing the table with Nana. The beauty in the mirror speaks of simplicity and elegance. I'm tall at my age of 15, around 183cm, with soft silver wavy hair and emerald green eyes. I'm looking at the reflection of my mother. And before my tears fall. "Beatrix?" A hint of annoyance in Nanas voice. "Yes, sorry Nana." Then, we silently eat our beetroot soup. In the same month, in different year. Our mother gather all of us, her children, near the fireplace hearth, made of granite and marble stone. My eldest brother Maxim played the piano while my older sister Annika played the flute. While me and my mom, cheerfully singing. Then, our beloved father Dimitri, joined us in our joyfulness. Amidst our liveliness, the commotion outside the House of Oblonsky raised our fears. People shouting with torches and guns. My father Dimitri was stunned. I'm crying in horror. I hugged my father...for the last time. When.... My small voice... bellowed "NO!!!!" "Mama, Papa..." "Maxim, Annika..." 

Zoe Bell was the foster daughter of the Bell Family. On the night she was thrown out, her fiancé was already wrapping his arm around his new love, making headlines in the entertainment news. Afterwards, Zoe found herself caught in one scandal after another, all because she was seen with the most powerful man in Capital City. Everyone sneered, convinced she was nothing more than a fleeting plaything for Mr. Hale. But little did they know that from the very first moment when he laid eyes on her, Mr. Hale had only one thought - He was going to seize love with boldness! - People were all waiting to find something to mock Zoe about, so they intentionally asked William Hale what relationship he was holding with Zoe Bell. Mr. Hale merely laughed and said, "Maybe I haven’t tried hard enough, because after being married for so long, Mrs. Hale still refuses to announce it publicly or give me my rightful title." It was a night with thick, humid air, Zoe was left breathless as William kissed her with arms firmly wrapping around her waist. His voice was low and scorching, “Mrs. Hale, am I trying hard enough?” Zoe gritted her teeth - He was trying way too hard! 【See how the aloof CEO falls for love】 【Love After Marriage】

Murong Jiu, the Ninth Young Miss of the Marquis Mansion, was ugly and talentless, and her fate was to harm her relatives. She was raised in the countryside from a young age. Due to her exceptional medical skills, she was used by the Crown Prince, who drained her of all her value and then threw her into a deep well to drown. Only before her death did she realize she had been switched at birth. Others were rightfully enjoying everything that should have been hers; later, all her family died for her, becoming stepping stones for the Crown Prince! Reincarnated, she returned like a vengeful ghost from hell, making her enemies tremble with fear, ready to seek revenge for each grievance. Unexpectedly, she unintentionally became the darling of her biological family, which made her retract her sharp edges. As the substitute Princess Consort of Prince Ling, she and Prince Ling were a fake couple, intent only on finding the real father of the child in her womb, yet unaware that the man from that night was right in front of her…

Wu Wei, who was once a fishman for the Queen of the Sea, awakened one day and unexpectedly acquired the Tycoon System. One yuan could be spent as ten thousand!!! (Yuan is the unit of account of RMB, which is the official currency of China) Thus, the balance of a little over ten thousand in his card instantly turned into more than a hundred million! However, this money could only be spent on high-scoring goddesses! Therefore, Wu Wei began his wild spending spree. Under his aggressive financial onslaught, all sorts of goddesses fell one after another. The white moonlight he'd been secretly in love with for years, the mature and sexy school beauty, the innocent and cute schoolgirl, the livestreamer with off-the-charts beauty, the delicate and soft dancing goddess, the dazzling top female star... Sorry, but I've monopolized all the goddesses!

After the disaster, there wasn't enough food, so I used my superpower to farm, striving together with my childhood friend for a better life.