A query letter for fiction using a template typically starts with a strong hook. For example, introduce your main character or the most exciting part of your story right away. Then, briefly summarize the plot, highlighting the main conflict and what makes it unique. Next, mention your writing credentials, if any. If you don't have many, focus on your passion for writing and your dedication to this story. Also, include a comparison to similar successful books in the genre. This helps the agent or publisher get a sense of where your book fits in the market.
The key elements include a catchy introduction, like starting with an interesting quote from the book or a gripping description of the opening scene. Then, a summary of the plot that doesn't give away too much but still shows the overall arc. Also, details about the main characters and what makes them memorable. And of course, your contact information at the end.
In this fanfiction, perhaps Hermione might be even more excited than in the original story. She could start preparing for Hogwarts immediately, reading every book she can find about the school.
Obviously, Hermione herself is the most important. Her parents would also play a crucial role as they react to the news of their daughter being a witch.
Maybe Snape has some complex emotions while delivering the letter. He might be secretly hoping Harry won't come to Hogwarts because of his dislike for James Potter, yet he has to follow Dumbledore's instructions.
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Perhaps Snape has a moment of softness. He sees Harry as an innocent child about to embark on a great adventure. His own past experiences with Hogwarts make him want to be part of this important moment for Harry, despite his usual cold exterior towards the boy.
The story might progress with Harry becoming bitter about never getting the letter. He could start to resent the wizarding world. However, as he grows older, he might start to notice strange things happening around him that he can't explain. Eventually, he could start to investigate on his own and find out about Hogwarts and the wizarding world in a more roundabout way. This could lead to him having a more complex relationship with the magical community compared to the original story.
One possible reason could be that the owl got lost on its way. Maybe it was attacked by some magical creature or got distracted by a powerful spell. Another reason might be that someone deliberately intercepted the letter. In the wizarding world, there could be dark forces at work who don't want Harry to go to Hogwarts. It could also be a bureaucratic mix - up at Hogwarts itself. Maybe the admissions office made an error in their records and didn't send the letter.
The Hogwarts letter could act as a tracker. Since it's magically bound to Harry, it might start to glow or move in a certain direction leading to where he is. For example, if he's been taken to a secret lair, the letter could lead his friends right to the entrance.