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What are some of the most hilarious New Years resolution stories you've heard?

2024-10-31 23:09
2 answers

I heard about a guy who resolved to stop eating junk food. On New Year's Day, he found a bag of chips in his pantry that he had forgotten about. He stared at it for a long time, trying to resist, but finally gave in. He later joked that his resolution lasted about five minutes. It was really funny.

One funny story is about a group of friends who all made the resolution to do yoga together once a week. They showed up at the yoga studio for the first time, all excited. But they were so uncoordinated and out of shape that they ended up falling over each other during the simplest poses. The instructor was trying hard not to laugh. Another one is a person who resolved to read more books. He bought a whole stack of books but then spent all his free time watching TV instead. When he finally remembered his resolution, he felt so silly.

Host, Please Be Honest! What Exactly Are You?

Host, Please Be Honest! What Exactly Are You?

Author-san here! Well, you're smart to stop by here. So I won't praise you all anymore. (^_^)  This is my original work, and I know you all will like it. So shamelessly pop your popcorn and read away!  Oh… And don't forget to check out my other books: • I'm The King Of Technology •Help!: I Think My System Is Trying To Kill Me! And, •In A Cultivation World With An Entertainment Park... You can also visit my website for more books: https://LumydeeNovels.Gumroad.com/ Ps/// THE PACE WILL BE SLOW AT THE BEGINNING TO SET EVERYTHING IN MOTION. But after a while, it will pick up quickly. . . Now, back to the synopsis. Er-Erhmm.. (narrator-voice on) ... In another world called Blue Star, the famous son of wealth, Dorian D. Tian, is thrown into a whirl of unfortunate circumstances, resulting in his death. . His parents had a brutal car accident that left them in a coma, and his uncle had quickly taken over the company,  and seized the company, making sure that he was financially crippled for good. With that, the famous young master struggled desperately. And in the end, he gave in to his despair and depression, leaving the sad, lonely world. The end? Heh... Think again! Because in that brief moment, the lifeless corpse suddenly opened its eyes, revealing a deep calm look. That's right. Another mysterious soul had entered the body. But if one thought this story was just about revenge, then sorry... that wasn't even the half of it! .... The mysterious entity suddenly triggered an exorcist system. And from then on, both humans and even those from the underworld shuddered in fear and despair at the mysterious soul's cruelty. [Humans]: "Demon! Demon! You're definitely a demon!" [Demons]: "Help! Help! The famous demon wants to eat me!" [Evil Spirits]: "You!... Are you the one who is an evil spirit or us? Why the hell did it seem like you're the demonic one instead?" [Ghouls]: "You stay away from me! Stay away from me now, you evil entity!" [Hellhounds]: "Are you sure you're not the son of hades?" The system couldn't help looking at its host in doubt. Its indicators said that its host was indeed mortal. But why did it feel like something was wrong with its host? Dorian lightly chuckled in amusement. He would also like to ask the same question. What exactly was his identity? Well, this would be the biggest mystery of all. But Dorian wasn't in a hurry. Who were his enemies, and who were his allies? Soon, he would find the truth. In the meantime, why not play a little? "Demon! stay back!" "Oooo~~~... I... I want to go back to the underworld where it's safe." "Run for your lives! The demon is here!" …..
4.4
646 Chs
Transmigrated With A Resolution System

Transmigrated With A Resolution System

Waking up in an alternate world didn't seem half as bad as Nix thought it would. He was a digital artist with a ruined reputation. After a long night of drinking on New year's Eve, he wakes up to what he believed to be his home, a tablet and a stylus in front of him. The very equipment he had sold a long time ago. Curious to explore why the tablet had made its way back to him, two notifications popped on its screen. [Escape reality by drawing out your fantasy] [Redeem yourself, with your creativity. Find the path to enlightenment.] Nix decides to draw one last artpiece–a world filled with gifted users, magic users, and dragons. Not knowing this artpiece would send him into this world as a fire rank user with a system. As an unrivalled rank among the gifted and magic users, he sets out to explore the world of his creation, while infiltrating an organisation which had ruined the fresh new start he had hoped to achieve. ––––––––––– Ps- The cover doesn't belong to me. Text editing done by yours truly Do read my pinned review! Discord server - https://discord.gg/A6cpxG8SnK ––––––––––– Contact the author to discuss more about story or share your thoughts with me! Discord: Bloomjay#0759 Instagram: Bloom_a_ & Bloomseries Any insightful comments/review gets a chapter dedicated to such user Check out the auxillary chapter for a weekly/monthly event for more chapters! ––––––––––– Daily updates within (00:00 – 02:30) GMT+8 2-3 chapters daily Other tags: [Transmigration, dragons, dark, level up, beast taming, summon, counterattack, betrayal, deceit, academy, infiltration, no harem, gore, ability, organization, yandere, another transmigrator.... to be added as the story progresses]
4.2
300 Chs
What?! The gamemaster and the top player are dating?! [BL]

What?! The gamemaster and the top player are dating?! [BL]

Getting thrown into a volcanic mountain? Stalked by bloodthirsty creatures? Hunted by people who love pitchforks and fire? Finding yourself participating in a ghost festival? This was normal. Well, at least, according to Huang Zhihao a.k.a. Mastermo, the world’s most famous and beloved pro-gamer. A hardworking youth whose first love was gaming. At an age, where he should be dating and attending business parties with his father, you’ll find him holed up in his room, enjoying his favorite game: T.I.A.D. He had always aimed to be at the top of the pro-gamers list and now that he had achieved that goal, he had a new ambition: To beat the Gamemaster of T.I.A.D. An online RPG released with the help of VR technology, a game that became an overnight sensation because of its marketing strategy. A simple strategy where they gave out a cash prize of a million dollars to anyone who stands first at winning the game. All you have to do is beat the Gamemaster, an unknown man who is respected by all and has also, unfortunately, become the target of their weapons. Unexpectedly, Huang Zhihao had fallen in love with the anonymous Gamemaster whom he had to kill! Join Zhihao on his journey where he fights monsters, meets new people, unravels many plot twists, and finds love. "It was.....you??" Zhihao asks in shock, as if, he hadn't guessed it already. -Filled with adventure. -A slow burn. -More story-based -Filled with fluff (Try not to die from the sweetness) -no smut lol For the rest, you can read the story and find out. It won't disappoint \(^~^)/
4.8
291 Chs
2 Years of Restarting

2 Years of Restarting

Yu Yan thought that finding her boyfriend cheat in HER apartment was the worst day on her life. But the next day she reunited with her first love from high school whom she never confessed to. This time, he reached out his hand to her. “First love is not meant to be?” He smirked. “Bullsh*t! I’ll prove it that no one will treat you better than me!” 8 years had passed since the last time they met. Time had changed them, but how about their feelings? Now that they reunited once more, would the feelings they once had fade with time or not? ... Story set in modern era in fictional country. This story is purely fiction, any similarities with real life's event is purely coincidence. This is a sequel/the next series after 1 Year of Beginning, so there will be some characters that appear in the first story who will be in the second story too. Special thanks for CatarinaM2811 for making the cover *insert love emoji* Word count: 900-1800 words/chapter Discord: https://discord.gg/pBy2wGB ... Thorough the Years' Series: 1. 1 Year of Beginning [complete] 2. 2 Years of Restarting [complete] 3. -Work in Progress- 4. -Work in Progress- 5. -Work in Progress- 6. -Work in Progress- 7. -Work in Progress- The series are all STANDALONE, meaning you don't have to read the other series in order to be able to follow this story. You can just read one and you still didn't lose anything. Each of the series have different main leads but they all happen in the same universe (and similar timeline, some are overlapping but mostly not) ... Other novels: -Flowers Bloom from Battlefield [complete] - Under the Veil of Night [complete] - Path of the Lilies: Early Beginning [on long hiatus] - Villain Lady [complete] - Science and Fantasy [complete] - Forgotten Legend of the Bloodied Flower [on going] - The Quiet Empress [complete] - Astral Flower [on going] ... Note for those who read Sorahana's other novels: This novel took a different approach compared to my other novels because it focused heavily on romance and also in main lead's perspective.
4.7
238 Chs
Ten Thousand Years: Loving You Through Time and Rebirth

Ten Thousand Years: Loving You Through Time and Rebirth

[HIATUS] "I would crawl through Hell to find my way back to you. Thousands lifetimes, thousands reincarnations. I would do the same thing again and again. For you...my beloved." *** As the Princess of Beast Mainland, Ouyang Xueqing spent her whole life being sheltered and pampered. Being an impulsive thirteen-years-old little girl she was, when human male Mo Yujian caught her attention, the only thing she could do was to sneak out and disguised herself as a male to get close to him. Through a string of events, she succeeded in becoming his one and only disciple. Everything started only with a favor repayment. But when Ouyang Xueqing found herself grow fonder and fonder of Mo Yujian, what should she do? Go back or stay by his side? When the secret of demonic bloodline in her ancestral was exposed, would Mo Yujian still choose to stand by her side even if it meant to go against the whole human race? It was a forbidden love from the start. A human and a beast, the good and the evil. They knew that it was a taboo...yet they couldn't stop. Even if everything ended in tragedy, all they ever wanted was a chance to love each other again. Just like what had happened a long, long time ago... However this time, would the Gods finally give them a chance to be happy? Additional tags: Romance, dragon, gender bender, fluffy, forbidden love, action, adventure, powerful love interest, love triangle, tragedy, important side character(s), mildly gore, survival, war, slowburn, mature, past play an important part Volume 1 - The Beginning Volume 2 - Blossoming Love Volume 3 - The Awakening Volume 4 - Blood, Love and War Volume 5 - To be continued > Disclaimer: cover from Pinterest Find me on: Instagram: delanasiwarka Discord server: bit.ly/delanadiscord Discord: delanasiwarka#1490
4.8
457 Chs
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