A woman was at the grocery store. She asked the clerk for half a head of lettuce. The clerk replied, 'Sorry, we only sell whole heads.' The woman said, 'You mean I have to buy the whole head just to get a little bit?' The clerk said, 'Well, you could buy the whole head and then use what you need, and plant the rest in your garden.' The woman thought for a moment and said, 'Well, you're really smart! I'll do that.' Then the clerk added, 'So, would you like a bag of soil with that?'
Here is one. A man went to the dentist. The dentist said, 'You need a crown.' The man replied, 'Finally someone thinks I'm a king!'
There was a woman who was driving on the highway. She saw a sign that said 'Low Bridge Ahead'. But she thought it was just a joke and drove on. Well, of course, she hit the bridge. When the police came, she said, 'I thought it was just a prank!' The police just shook their heads.
Sure. Once I was in a hurry to get to work and accidentally put on two different shoes. One was black and the other was brown. I didn't notice until I got to the office and my colleagues started laughing. It was so embarrassing but also really funny in hindsight.
Sure. Once in a football match, the goalkeeper was so distracted by a butterfly on the field that he didn't notice the ball coming towards the goal until it was too late. The ball just rolled into the net while he was chasing the butterfly.
Well, here's one. My neighbor was trying to do some gardening. He was wearing these big, old - fashioned overalls. As he bent over to plant a flower, his pants split right in the middle. He didn't notice at first and continued gardening until his wife came out and started laughing hysterically.
There was a cat that got stuck in a box. Instead of meowing for help, it just sat there looking at the world through the little hole in the box as if it was perfectly normal. It was so cute and funny. Well, after a while, it just fell asleep in the box. Cats are really strange sometimes. They can find comfort in the oddest situations.
A man was walking down the street and saw a sign that said 'Talking Dog for Sale.' He went in and asked to see the dog. The dog said, 'Well, I've had an amazing life. I was in the army, worked as a detective, and even did some acting.' The man was amazed and asked the owner why he was selling such an incredible dog. The owner said, 'Because he's a liar! He never did any of those things!'
Once there was a man who went to the dentist. The dentist said, 'You need a crown.' The man replied, 'Finally, I can be a king!' Another one is about a cat that tried to catch its own tail. It spun around so many times that it got dizzy and just fell asleep right there. And then there's the story of a little boy who put on his dad's big shoes and walked around the house, making everyone laugh as he wobbled like a drunk penguin.
The Daily Telegraph may have funny stories related to workplace humor. Maybe there's a story about an office prank that went a bit too far but ended up making everyone laugh. Picture an employee who changed all the keyboards' language settings to a made - up language and how the others reacted. Such stories add a touch of light - heartedness to the paper.
There was this time when I was in a supermarket. A little boy was following his mother and suddenly started singing a really loud and made - up song about vegetables. He was dancing around the aisles, and everyone was looking at him with big smiles on their faces.
A duck walked into a bar and said to the bartender, 'Got any grapes?' The bartender said no. The next day, the duck came back and asked the same question. After a week of this, the bartender was angry. 'Listen, duck, we don't have grapes. We are a bar!' The duck replied, 'Good, then no more grapes for me. I don't like grapes anyway.' This silly exchange makes for a funny story.