What are some of the most hilarious funny funeral director stories you've heard?

A friend told me about her husband. He snores in different pitches, like he's singing in his sleep. Sometimes it's a low rumble and then suddenly it goes high - pitched, as if he's hitting a high note in a very strange opera.

A mechanic had a customer who brought in a car with a really strange noise. The mechanic spent days trying to figure it out. He checked all the normal parts like the engine, the transmission, and the brakes. In the end, it turned out that a small pebble was stuck in the wheel well and was making the noise every time the wheel rotated. It was such a simple solution after all the complex investigations, and it was quite hilarious.

A story goes that a group of friends were sharing cigars. One of them was bragging about his expensive cigar. But then he accidentally sat on it and flattened it. His friends burst into laughter at his dismayed face.

I heard a story where a father was trying to teach his son how to ride a bike. He ran behind the bike holding on, but then tripped over his own feet and they both ended up in a heap on the grass. They were both laughing so hard.

I heard a story where a CNA was pushing a patient in a wheelchair to the garden. Along the way, a squirrel ran in front of them and the patient started making squirrel noises to try and communicate with it. The CNA was trying so hard not to laugh. Another story was about a CNA who tried to sing a lullaby to a patient to help them sleep but ended up forgetting the words and making up the silliest lyrics.

There was a mailman in a small town. One day, he was delivering a large package and tripped on a small stone. The package went flying and landed in a bush. As he was trying to retrieve it, his hat got caught on a branch. He looked so silly trying to free himself while still holding the package. The people on the street couldn't stop laughing.

I heard about a couple where the husband really loved his collection of old records. When it came time to divide things, the wife said she wanted half of the records. So, he cut every single record in half! She was so shocked but then they both burst out laughing at how ridiculous it was.

I heard about a church where they were doing a play about the nativity scene. One of the donkeys in the play got loose and started running around the pews, chasing the shepherds. It was chaos but also really funny.

There was a landlord who accidentally locked himself in the tenant's closet while doing an inspection. The tenant came home and heard strange noises from the closet. When they opened it, there was the landlord looking all sheepish. He had been in there for half an hour trying to figure out how to get out.

I heard about a boy who was trying to be funny in class. He held in his farts all day until he got to the front of the class to give a presentation. Right as he started, he let out a series of short, sharp farts. The whole class burst into laughter, and the teacher couldn't keep a straight face either.