If your wife is not forthcoming with the information, you might try to find out from mutual friends or acquaintances if they know who this person could be. Maybe someone has seen them together before or knows the man in some other context.
You could simply ask your wife directly. Be polite and non - accusatory when you do it. For instance, 'Sweetheart, I noticed you were at the bar with someone. Who was he?'
If it's a local bar, you could also ask the bar staff. They might have noticed something about the man or how he and your wife interacted. However, this should be a last resort as it might seem a bit intrusive. Also, keep in mind that whatever you do, you should respect your wife's privacy as much as possible while still trying to get to the bottom of the situation.
One way is to ask your wife directly. Be polite and non - confrontational when you do this. For instance, say something like 'Honey, I noticed you left the bar with a man last night. I was just curious who he was.'
If you feel uncomfortable or suspicious, you can also try to find out more about the man on your own in a discreet way. However, be careful not to violate anyone's privacy. Another option is to suggest to your wife that in the future, if she is going to meet with someone at a bar, she should let you know in advance. This can help build trust between you two. In any case, communication is key in dealing with this situation.
First, don't jump to conclusions. Try to approach them calmly and casually, say hello, and see how they react. Maybe it's just a friendly chat or a business acquaintance.
Just be straightforward. Say something like 'I saw you at the bar with an older man today. Who was he?'
Build a strong relationship with good communication. Regularly talk about your feelings, needs, and expectations. Also, keep the romance alive in your marriage so she doesn't feel the need to seek that kind of attention elsewhere.
First, don't jump to conclusions. Try to stay calm and call your wife to have a conversation. Maybe there's a reasonable explanation, like the man is an old acquaintance or a work - related contact.
You could try searching on Tumblr. There are often fanfiction recs (recommendations) on Tumblr blogs dedicated to the Harry Potter fandom. Some users might post links to fanfics where Hermione is paired with an older man. Also, Reddit has some Harry Potter fanfiction subreddits where you can ask for specific fanfics like this. Just be sure to follow the subreddit rules when posting.
First, you should stay calm. Reacting impulsively might make the situation worse. Try to have an honest conversation with her later in a private and calm setting to understand her reasons. It could be a sign of problems in your relationship that need to be addressed.
The emotional pain is hard to bear. You can talk to a professional counselor. They are trained to help people in your situation. Also, find new hobbies or activities to keep your mind occupied. Maybe join a club or start learning a new skill. It won't make the pain go away immediately, but it can distract you. And don't isolate yourself. Stay in touch with your friends who can cheer you up and remind you of your worth.
Talk to her. Let her know that her flirting in the bar makes you uncomfortable and it's not acceptable in a marriage. Set clear boundaries.