Create a really vivid and detailed underwater world. When Percy is facing his fear of drowning, the reader should be able to feel like they are there with him. Describe the coldness of the water, the way the light refracts, and the strange creatures that lurk. Make his fear palpable through the description of his surroundings. Also, give Percy a clear goal that is related to his fear. Maybe he has to retrieve an important item from the bottom of a dangerous underwater trench, and the only way to get it is to face his fear head - on.
One good fanfiction could be 'Overcoming the Fear' where Percy has to face his fear of drowning in a really unique underwater quest. The author does a great job of showing his internal struggle.
By adding complex characters. Besides Percy, create other characters with their own motives and backstories. For example, a doctor who has a personal vendetta against cancer because of a lost loved one. This doctor could have a unique relationship with Percy.
Add a lot of emotional depth. For example, if the fan in the story has some personal struggles, like dealing with family issues or self - doubt, and Michael Jackson's presence and words help them overcome. This makes the story more relatable.
To make it more interesting, you could introduce a new and mysterious character that Percy meets while alone. This character could have a hidden agenda or a special connection to Percy's past.
If we want to make 'Percy Jackson Mind Control Lemon Fanfiction' more appropriate, we need to ditch the 'lemon' which usually implies adult content. For the mind control part, we can make it more of a moral or ethical struggle. Maybe Percy is mind - controlled by an ancient magic that makes him question his values. His friends could then be the ones to help him see the light again through their love and support, much like how they always support each other in the original books.
Involving other characters in an interesting way can make it more engaging. Maybe there's a character who is trying to understand what the baby is experiencing during hypnosis. They could be an older sibling or a parent. Their reactions and attempts to communicate with the baby can add depth to the story. Also, creating a sense of mystery around the hypnosis itself, like not revealing all at once why the baby was hypnotized or what the full extent of its effects are, can keep the readers hooked.
Adding a lot of vivid descriptions. For example, if the story is set in a forest, describe the lush greenery, the sounds of the animals, and the smell of the damp earth. This makes the setting more real for the readers.
Adding vivid descriptions of the emotions involved can make it more engaging. For example, describe the mother's fear, the father's anxiety.
To make a 'Naruto is heartbroken' fanfiction more engaging, focus on his emotions deeply. Describe how his heartbreak affects his daily life, like he might stop eating or training. Also, add some flashbacks to happier times to contrast with his current state.
By developing strong characters. Make Gamzee's character multi - dimensional, with his own hopes, fears and quirks. Also, create interesting antagonists if there are any involved in the abuse situation.