There are some really hilarious short stories. For instance, a guy goes to a library and asks for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian says, 'Whoa, you're not in a good mood.' He replies, 'I am, I just need to know how to start my car.' Also, a bear walks into a bar and says, 'Give me a whiskey... and a cola.' The bartender says, 'Why the big pause?' 'I don't know,' says the bear. 'I was born with them.' Then there is the story of a snail who gets mugged by two turtles. When the police ask him what happened, he says, 'I don't know. It all happened so fast.'
Here are some short funny stories for you. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain and they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, 'But they are twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.' Another story is about a little boy who was in a wedding. Every time he walked past a guest, he would say, 'Congrats on the marriage.' One of the guests finally said, 'Thank you, but this is not my wedding.' The boy replied, 'Oh, well, congrats on the promotion then!'
Sure. Here's one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store. Another one: A man tells his doctor, 'Doc, I'm addicted to Twitter!' The doctor replies, 'Sorry, I don't follow you.' And the last one: Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
Sure. Here is one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store. Another one is that a snail got mugged by two turtles. When the police asked what happened, the snail said, 'I don't know. It all happened so fast.'
Sure. Here is one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.
There was a man who went to the doctor. He said, 'Doctor, every time I stand up quickly, I see Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy.' The doctor said, 'Well, I'm not sure what's wrong with you, but I think you're seeing Disney.' Well, here's another. A snail got mugged by two turtles. When the police asked him what happened, he said, 'I don't know. It all happened so fast.'
Sure. Here is one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.
There was a lady who bought a parrot from a pet store. The parrot was always cursing and using bad language. She tried everything to make it stop. One day, she put the parrot in the freezer for a few minutes. When she took it out, the parrot shivered and said politely, 'I'm sorry for my bad language. I will be a good parrot now.' The lady was so surprised at how well this worked.
Sure. Here's one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.
Sure. Here is one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.
Sure. Here is one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store. Another one. A guy goes to the doctor. Says, 'Doc, I keep having these alternating, recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?' The doctor replies, 'It's very simple. You're two tents.'
Sure. Here's one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.
Sure. Here is one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store. Another one: Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. And this one: I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
Sure. Here is one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.