Can you share some english short funny stories?

Sure. Here's one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

Sure. Here's one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

Sure. Here is one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store. This plays on the double meaning of 'turn into' which can mean physically transform or just enter a place, creating a humorous situation.

Sure. Here is one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store. Another one. A panda walks into a restaurant, orders a meal, eats it, then pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter. When the manager asks why, the panda says, 'I'm a panda. Look it up.' The manager looks in the dictionary and it says: 'Panda: eats shoots and leaves.'

Sure. Here is one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store. Another one is that I used to be a banker but I lost interest.

Sure. Here is one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store. Another one is that a bear walks into a bar and says, 'Give me a whisky and... cola.' The bartender asks, 'Why the big pause?' The bear says, 'I'm not sure; I was born with them.'

Oh, here's one. A dog was chasing its tail for hours, thinking it was a new toy. Everyone around was laughing at its silliness.

Once there was a student who was very sleepy in class. The teacher asked him a question, 'What is the opposite of cold?' The student, half - asleep, blurted out, 'Hot'. Then the teacher asked, 'What is the opposite of good?' Still half - asleep, the student said, 'Bad'. Finally, the teacher asked, 'What is the opposite of progress?' And the sleepy student replied, 'Congress', which made the whole class burst into laughter.

Well, there is a story about two antennas that got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. Also, a guy goes to the doctor. He says, 'Doctor, I keep getting this pain in my eye every time I drink tea.' The doctor says, 'Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.'

Sure. One story is about a foreigner who tried to buy 'chicken feet' in China. He asked for 'chicken's feet' directly, but the local vendor didn't understand at first. After some gestures, the vendor finally got it. It shows how different expressions in different cultures can lead to funny situations in English learning, like learning food - related vocabulary.