You can try to talk to other family members about the stories. Maybe they have different perspectives or can add more details that will help you better understand. Also, it's important to keep in mind that family stories are just part of the family's history and not the whole definition of who you are. You can focus on creating your own story and values aside from what the family stories bring.
One way is to take some time to process the stories. Don't rush to judgment or let them overwhelm you immediately.
First, accept that these stories are a part of your family heritage. Then, analyze them objectively. Separate the facts from the emotions and interpretations in the stories. If the stories are causing distress, consider seeking professional help, like talking to a psychologist. They can guide you in dealing with the complex emotions and new understandings that come from these family stories. Also, you can write down your thoughts and feelings about the stories, which can be a way of externalizing and managing them.
It could mean that one's innocence or naivete is lost because of the family stories they hear. Maybe the family stories are full of harsh realities, secrets, or complex emotions that shatter a person's idealized view of the world, as if losing a kind of 'innocence' similar to the concept of losing virginity in a more metaphorical sense.
It can be helpful to have a support system outside of your partner. A close friend or a family member (if you feel comfortable) who you can talk to about your emotions. They can offer reassurance and different perspectives. Also, don't put too much pressure on yourself. Remember that it's a personal journey and everyone's experience is different.
I think it's a very personal and private matter. Sharing it should be done with extreme caution and only with people you trust completely.
Sharing your story with a close and understanding friend within the gay community can also be helpful. They may have had similar experiences or can at least offer empathy and support. It can be reassuring to know that you're not alone in what you've been through.
One funny story I heard was about a couple who planned this really elaborate and romantic evening for the occasion. But just as things were getting started, the guy accidentally knocked over a glass of water and it spilled all over the bed. They ended up laughing so hard that the nervousness disappeared and it turned into a really special and memorable experience.
Communication is key. Talk to your partner about your expectations, fears, and boundaries. Make sure you both are on the same page. Also, choose the right time and place. A comfortable and private place where you won't be interrupted is essential. And always use protection to avoid unwanted pregnancy and STDs.
First, choose the right audience. Only share with those who are likely to be understanding and non - judgmental, like close friends. Second, be honest but not overly graphic. Focus on the emotions and important aspects rather than the very intimate details. Third, respect the privacy of the other person involved, if any.
People usually share such stories in a private and trusted setting. It could be with a significant other, or within a group of very close friends who they feel comfortable opening up to. Sometimes, they might write about it in personal diaries or blogs, but under pseudonyms to maintain anonymity.
One way to deal with awkward family stories is to simply accept them. Acknowledge that every family has its quirks and odd moments. For example, if there's an embarrassing story about a relative's fashion disaster at a family gathering, laugh it off. Another approach is to keep the stories within the family. Don't spread them outside the family circle to avoid unnecessary discomfort or judgment. Also, you can try to find the positive side in these stories. Maybe it shows how your family has grown or changed over time.
Set boundaries if the stories become too much. Politely tell family members that you need some quiet time or that the topic is making you uncomfortable. For example, you could say 'I love hearing family stories, but right now I'm really tired and need to rest.' This way, you can manage the situation without causing offense.