Can you make sense of the phrase 'wife's friend sucks me' in a non - offensive way?

If we view it non - offensively, 'jerks' might imply that the mom is trying to quickly correct her son's behavior. For example, if the son is about to touch a hot stove, the mom jerks his hand away. And'sucks' can be taken to mean that the mom is deeply connected to her son. She sucks in the essence of who he is, his dreams, his fears. She is always there for him, whether it's to encourage him to pursue his dreams or to soothe his fears, and these actions, though described in an odd way, show her love for her son.

Yes. If we consider 'pussy' as a cat, it could be a story about a girl who is kidnapped and there is some sort of chaos involving a cat that is described as 'blown up'. Maybe the cat gets startled during the kidnapping and causes a lot of noise and activity.

This could potentially be a very strange or misphrased statement. If we assume it's a miscommunication, perhaps it was meant to say something like 'My wife's friend annoys me' which could mean that the friend has some habits or behaviors that are irritating.

I think it might be a miscommunication. If we assume it's a typing error and 'cock' was supposed to be 'cook', then it could be stories about the wife having a cook. For example, it could be stories about the time when the wife hired a cook and the experiences related to that.

Perhaps it's a play on words. Instead of taking 'intruder' literally, we can think of it as an 'intruding thought' or an 'intruding idea'. So the wife is submitting, in a sense of confronting or dealing with, this intruding concept and sharing stories related to her legs, which could be stories about how she overcame body - image issues or how her legs are a part of her identity, not in a negative or inappropriate way at all.

If we try to make sense of it in a non - disturbing way, we could assume that there are misspellings. Maybe 'pulled apart' was miswritten as 'pulled a0art'. And perhaps'snuff stories' could refer to stories that were cut short or ended abruptly, like a snuff of a candle. And the 'woman on rack' could be a woman on a rack in a storage area, not a torture rack. So it could be about a woman finding some abruptly ended stories while on a rack in a storage place.

This phrase is a mess. First, the correct spelling for the verb related to self - pleasure is'masturbates' not'masterbates'. Second, 'adance' is not a word at all. Given 'wife' and'story', we might expect a story about a wife, but the other parts make it impossible to understand without major clarification or correction.

Perhaps 'damn deep' is meant to convey that the story has a lot of depth or significance. 'My wife' is the central figure in this supposed story. 'Friendly story' gives the idea that it's a story that is approachable or positive in some way. The 'cum cock' part is inappropriate and should be disregarded. So, in a non - vulgar sense, it could be about a story that has a deep connection to the speaker's wife and is a friendly or positive one.

Suppose 'cock' is a misnomer for something else. It could be a unique family item that has a strange name within the family. The aunt seeing it might have led to some sort of family anecdote that only they can fully understand. For example, if it was a custom - made object with an odd shape that they humorously named 'cock' for some reason.

Perhaps we can consider it as a very bad attempt at creating a fictional, out - there scenario in an office that just went horribly wrong in terms of language choice. We could re - imagine it as a story about a strange situation in an office that involves a misunderstanding that was wrongly described in this inappropriate way. For example, if there was a smell in the office and someone wrongly blamed a gay colleague in a fictional, convoluted 'story' that was then mis - titled this way.