Share some funny senior jokes and stories.

Here's a joke. An old man was asked why he always carried a gun in his car. He said, 'I'm a very slow driver. If I see signs of an accident up ahead, I shoot myself.'

Here is a funny joke. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store. Another one, a guy goes to the doctor and says, 'Doctor, I think I'm a dog.' The doctor asks, 'How long have you felt this way?' The guy says, 'Ever since I was a puppy!'

Here's a joke. Two gay men were arguing about who was the better cook. One said, 'I can make the most amazing soufflé.' The other replied, 'Well, I can make a quiche that'll make you forget all about soufflés!' And they both ended up laughing and cooking together.

Joke: What do elves learn in school? The Elf - abet! Story: A reindeer named Rudolph was feeling left out one Christmas because all the other reindeer were making fun of his shiny red nose. But on Christmas Eve, when it was really foggy, his nose guided Santa's sleigh safely through the night. After that, all the reindeer apologized and Rudolph became a hero.

Joke: Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. Short story: A little boy was at the zoo with his mom. He saw a penguin and asked, 'Mom, what's that?' She replied, 'That's a penguin, son.' The boy said, 'It looks like it's wearing a tuxedo.'

Here's a nascar joke. Why don't nascar drivers use the side mirror? Because they like to keep their rivals in the rear view!

Here's a joke. A golfer is in a rough patch on the course. His ball is right next to a big ant hill. He goes to hit the ball and completely misses. His friend says, 'You missed!' He replies, 'No, I was just practicing my putt on the new green.'

Here's one. Santa Claus was having a really bad day. He lost his list of good children and his reindeer were on strike. So he goes to the North Pole pub. He says to the bartender, 'I'm so stressed, I need a drink!' The bartender replies, 'Sorry, Santa, but we don't serve spirits here!'

A story for you. There was a little boy who was very nervous about his first day at school. His mother told him to be brave and that he would make lots of friends. When he got to school, he saw a little girl crying. He went up to her and said, 'Don't cry. I'm new here too. Let's be friends.' And they became good friends. It's a simple but sweet clean story.

Here's another joke. What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient chicks? If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy! These jokes are great for sharing during the Thanksgiving celebration.