A duck walks into a bar and asks, 'Got any grapes?' The bartender says, 'No, we don't sell grapes here.' The duck leaves. The next day, the duck comes back and asks, 'Got any grapes?' The bartender says, 'No, we don't sell grapes here. We have beer, wine, cocktails but no grapes!' The duck leaves. The third day, the duck comes back again and asks, 'Got any grapes?' The bartender is really angry and shouts, 'No! And if you come back here again asking for grapes, I will nail your beak to the bar!' The duck leaves. The fourth day, the duck comes back and asks, 'Got any nails?' The bartender says, 'No.' And the duck says, 'Good. Got any grapes?' This is a very funny short story - like joke that kids would find really amusing.
There is a joke. Little Johnny's teacher asks, 'If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?' Little Johnny replies, 'Seven.' The teacher says, 'No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?' Little Johnny says, 'Seven.' The teacher, getting frustrated, asks, 'How on earth do you get seven?' Johnny says, 'Because I've already got a cat!' It's a simple and funny short story for kids.
A little boy asked his dad, 'Dad, are bugs good to eat?' His dad said, 'Let's not talk about such things at the dinner table.' Later, the boy's dad found him eating a caterpillar in the garden. The boy said, 'But you said not to talk about it at the dinner table.' It's a cute joke. The story builds up the dad's expectation of normal dinner table conversation, but the boy has a different take.
Short story: There was a Christmas elf named Bob. He was in charge of painting all the toy cars red. But one day, he accidentally used green paint. When Santa saw the green cars, he laughed and said they could be special Christmas edition cars for naughty kids. Bob felt relieved and everyone had a good laugh about it.
One joke: Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
Joke: The pastor told the congregation that their church was so poor it had to send their bell to the foundry. So they were having a 'no bell' service. A little boy asked, 'Does that mean it's a 'devil - may - care' service?' Story: A young girl was praying very hard for a new bike. She prayed every night for weeks. Finally, her mother told her that God doesn't just give you things like that. You have to work for them. The girl thought for a moment and said, 'Well, I'll just keep praying then because I don't know how to make a bike.'
One great joke is: What's brown and sticky? A stick. Simple but funny.
Joke: Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. Short story: A little boy was at the zoo with his mom. He saw a penguin and asked, 'Mom, what's that?' She replied, 'That's a penguin, son.' The boy said, 'It looks like it's wearing a tuxedo.'
There's a little mouse who was always afraid of the cat. One day, he saw the cat wearing sunglasses. He thought the cat was a new, cool mouse - friendly cat. So he went up to the cat. But of course, the cat caught him. The moral - just because someone looks different doesn't mean they've changed their nature. It's a simple story - based joke that can teach kids a little life lesson too.
A short story - Santa was checking his list twice. He saw the name 'Bob' and said, 'Bob? I don't remember a Bob.' His elf said, 'Santa, that's your mirror.' This joke plays on Santa's forgetfulness and the unexpected twist of him seeing his own reflection. It's a quick and funny little story that can bring a smile during Christmas time.
Sure. Here is one. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.
Jokes with dirty content are inappropriate, so I can't provide them. But I can tell you a funny clean short story. There was a little boy who went to the zoo. He saw a penguin and asked his father, 'Dad, what are those things under the penguin?' His father replied, 'Those are its feet.' The little boy was confused and said, 'But they look like flippers to me!'