What are some good dirty funny short stories about animals?

A squirrel once stole a woman's hat right off her head while she was having a picnic. It ran up a tree with it and started using it as a nest. The woman was so shocked at first but then found it really funny. She just watched as the squirrel made itself comfortable in her hat.

There was a dog that loved to chase his tail. One day, he finally caught it and didn't know what to do next. He just sat there looking at his tail as if it was some strange new toy.

A cat once chased its own tail for hours, thinking it was some strange new creature. It was so determined and kept running in circles, which was really hilarious.

A cat got stuck in a tree. The whole neighborhood came to help. A little boy climbed up to get it but the cat just moved higher. In the end, the cat jumped down by itself when it saw a bird. This is a funny true story that also shows the independent nature of cats. And it can be inspiring as we can learn that sometimes things work out on their own without too much interference.

One day a duck walked into a store and asked the clerk, 'Do you have any grapes?' The clerk said no. The duck left. The next day the duck returned and asked, 'Do you have any grapes?' The clerk again said no. The duck left. The third day the duck walked in and asked, 'Do you have any grapes?' The clerk got angry and shouted, 'No! And if you come back in here again asking for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!' The duck left. The next day the duck walked in and asked, 'Do you have any nails?' The clerk said no. The duck said, 'Good. Do you have any grapes?'

A dog once got into a box of flour. When it came out, it was completely white, like a little snowball. But it didn't seem to realize it and just ran around the house as normal, leaving white paw prints everywhere. The owner was both shocked and amused at the same time.

There was a duck who went into a store and asked the clerk, 'Do you have any grapes?' The clerk said no. The next day, the duck came back and asked again. The clerk got angry and said, 'No, and if you come back and ask again, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!' The duck left. Next day, the duck came back and asked, 'Do you have any nails?' The clerk said no. Then the duck asked, 'Good. Do you have any grapes?'

A little bat got lost on Halloween night. It flew into a barn thinking it was a spooky cave. Inside, there were some cows dressed as ghosts for the farmers' Halloween fun. The bat got really confused seeing these 'ghost - cows' and started flying around in circles, squeaking in panic. The cows just mooed softly, which made the bat even more scared until it finally found its way out.

A young boy went to the aquarium. He saw a fish swimming upside down. He asked his mom, 'Mom, is that fish doing acrobatics?' His mom had to explain that sometimes fish just swim that way. His simple and innocent view of the fish's behavior was really endearing.

There was a dog that got scared of its own shadow. Every time it saw its shadow on a sunny day, it would bark and run away. It was like it thought the shadow was some kind of monster following it. Owners tried to comfort it but it was still spooked.