What are the funny self-created jokes in classical Chinese?

I was a genius in the Earthen Plane. I was a cripple in the Spiritual Plane. I was dead in the Cloud Plane. After experiencing death in the form of dragon sneeze, I find myself back in my room in Earthen Plane where I was a genius. I had been too focused on training myself in the past life. Now that I've been given a second chance, I should just enjoy my life to the fullest extent! Instead of locking myself up in my room to cultivate, take in a few disciples so they can help take care of me! Easy life is best life! The other Planes suck anyway, I'll just lay back here and relax! All I need to do is to teach my dear disciples on the things I've learnt while they take care of me! Huh? What do you mean one of my disciples destroyed the Sinister Demon Sect last night? Do you not see how she's here massaging my shoulders now? There's no way my disciple could have obliterated the all-powerful Xi Family, can't you see she's obediently pouring tea for me over there? You must be delusional to even suggest my disciple could have flattened the impassable Death Mountains, just look at how cute she is taking a nap under the cherry blossom tree. What do you mean my cute disciples are Yanderes? *** Notes: Side Stories in "My Cute (Yandere) Disciples' Side Stories" If you're here for the R18 tag expecting adult scenes, know that this was a decision I made quite late into writing this so the scenes only come up very late into the story. One or more of the disciples may or may not have a tragic (depending on personal opinions) backstory that may or may not offend/disturb some readers (depending on your personal opinions/mental fortitude/openmindedness/morality/sexual orientation/real world knowledge/political agendas/reaction if someone gave you lemons/view on whether the Earth is flat or round, which I personally think it's neither and is actually a donut nom nom nom) which may or may not affect the rest of the story significantly. Consider yourself sufficiently warned. Story inspired from "My female disciples are scary" by feeling_tired Cover is done by the really awesome Lumi! Buy me tea (because I prefer tea over coffee): https://ko-fi.com/draekai You can join our discord through this link: https://discord.gg/CRrb56c

In the most cliched fashion, a giant truck-kun smashed into my World, killing everyone with it. And in the next most cliched event, I was given a second chance in life by the gods to live another life in a world of swords, magic and dragons! It’s literally a dream come true! Be a hero? Who has the time?! Conquer the world? Like hell I’ll do something so troublesome! Diving into dungeons, exploring ancient ruins and meeting all the weirdos of the world? Sign me right up!! I’m only interested in travelling the world to find the most interesting materials I can use to write the best story I can! I’ll show you my creativity and dazzle this new world with the stories I’ll write! I’ll fight with dragons, swim with krakens, wrestle giants, eat all the cakes and bed the beauties! Time to live this life however I want! Eh? A psycho is running around the world saying that they are the hero who will slay the demon lord? Why is there such a crazy person? There’s someone out there threatening the world with nukes? How did they even find out how to make those? Some crazy hobo is going into other people’s houses to smash pots to look for money? That guy really must be crazy. What Do You Mean There Are Other Transmigrators In My Harem Fantasy? ----- [Character Creation:] [Gender:] [Male] [Female] >[Futa] *** Notes: Any R-rated scenes will be denoted by a '*' followed by an 'R' with the number of 'R's showing how much of it is R-rated. '*R' would be around 25%, '*RR' would be about 50% and '*RRR' would most likely be the entire chapter. You can join our discord through this link: https://discord.gg/CRrb56c

Author-san here! Well, you're smart to stop by here. So I won't praise you all anymore. (^_^)  This is my original work, and I know you all will like it. So shamelessly pop your popcorn and read away!  Oh… And don't forget to check out my other books: • I'm The King Of Technology •Help!: I Think My System Is Trying To Kill Me! And, •In A Cultivation World With An Entertainment Park... You can also visit my website for more books: https://LumydeeNovels.Gumroad.com/ Ps/// THE PACE WILL BE SLOW AT THE BEGINNING TO SET EVERYTHING IN MOTION. But after a while, it will pick up quickly. . . Now, back to the synopsis. Er-Erhmm.. (narrator-voice on) ... In another world called Blue Star, the famous son of wealth, Dorian D. Tian, is thrown into a whirl of unfortunate circumstances, resulting in his death. . His parents had a brutal car accident that left them in a coma, and his uncle had quickly taken over the company,  and seized the company, making sure that he was financially crippled for good. With that, the famous young master struggled desperately. And in the end, he gave in to his despair and depression, leaving the sad, lonely world. The end? Heh... Think again! Because in that brief moment, the lifeless corpse suddenly opened its eyes, revealing a deep calm look. That's right. Another mysterious soul had entered the body. But if one thought this story was just about revenge, then sorry... that wasn't even the half of it! .... The mysterious entity suddenly triggered an exorcist system. And from then on, both humans and even those from the underworld shuddered in fear and despair at the mysterious soul's cruelty. [Humans]: "Demon! Demon! You're definitely a demon!" [Demons]: "Help! Help! The famous demon wants to eat me!" [Evil Spirits]: "You!... Are you the one who is an evil spirit or us? Why the hell did it seem like you're the demonic one instead?" [Ghouls]: "You stay away from me! Stay away from me now, you evil entity!" [Hellhounds]: "Are you sure you're not the son of hades?" The system couldn't help looking at its host in doubt. Its indicators said that its host was indeed mortal. But why did it feel like something was wrong with its host? Dorian lightly chuckled in amusement. He would also like to ask the same question. What exactly was his identity? Well, this would be the biggest mystery of all. But Dorian wasn't in a hurry. Who were his enemies, and who were his allies? Soon, he would find the truth. In the meantime, why not play a little? "Demon! stay back!" "Oooo~~~... I... I want to go back to the underworld where it's safe." "Run for your lives! The demon is here!" …..

All things are born from the void and all things shall return to the void. Elias, a large and beautiful world consisting of millions of planes and millions of different races. And such a wonderful world is run by powerful beings called Gods! Born from the dawn of time their divine might shines on all beings. Over time It is said that the Gods created everything. But is that really true? If so, who created the Gods? Accidentally reincarnated in this strange world due to an unforeseen accident. With a thirst for knowledge and a hunger for power, Elric with the help of his A.I chip seeks a way out for himself whilst under the oppression of the Gods. Soon under Elric's relentless desire for knowledge, the first group of humans with powers comparable to Gods were born, Wizards! He dissected a flame slime and learnt to control flames. He studied a dragon and created dragon-slaying magic. He tasted a Phoenix and cracked the secret to immortality. Unexpectedly before he knew it most of the races in Elias had been studied and dissected by him already. One day when he was bored and there was nothing to do, Elric suddenly turned to the sky with a sly smile on his face. "I know! Why don't I study the Gods!" That day the whole Elias shook. with a crazy smile on his face Elric led an army of wizards and stormed the God realm! ------------------------------------------------ discord server: https://discord.gg/Up35G9Hzzk

Asher was always down on his luck, but that is not a surprise seeing that God made his soul with a negative luck value. When Asher's soul returns to God he decided to fix this problem and even give him an upgrade. Asher is thrown in to a new world almost exactly like his previous...almost. Follow Asher as he maneuvers this changed world, no more bullies? Friends? Loving family? Oh, yea, and superpowers! ===============================================

Yayoi, a perverted lesbian otaku, got killed by a truck because of her own stupidity. Maybe it was an accident, but she was transmigrated into a modern/urban/face slapping/ Chinese Manhua. But why didn't she become the protagonist? Why did she transmigrate as an ugly bastard?! What is with this broken system that seems to be telling her to c*ckold every dude in the world? "Huh? A C-grade beauty? Come here!" "What? A B-grade milf? Come here! Let us fly together! Hehehe~" "An*l sex with aunt give me bonus point? Take my big *ss c*ck! Deeper we go!" "OMG! An SSS-grade Ice Cold Supreme beauty? Hold my beer, baby!" "Wait, wait, wait a minute... that's an SS-grade trap... heir of a big corporation? F*ck!" The moon glimmer, and the wind blow... While looking at the cute and flustered boy in front of her, Yayoi feels a little bit uncomfortable with the ambiguous atmosphere as her big *ss c*ck gradually erected. ... Once the time came when Yayoi finally came across her old enemy, she said smugly, "Didn't you know? I'm your step-father!"